qwerty 

My  computer is intelligent. As I open business, it quips, "What shall we be doing today?" 

"My TV is not functional. Can you tell me how to fix it?"

"Yes, I can. Before that, please type in your name"

I type ASDF Qwerty, being the first few strokes of the top of the keyboard. I am plain lazy

"Good morning Qwerty, what seems to be wrong with the TV?"

"There is no picture, no sound, no nothing"

"No picture, no sound either. H'mm.. Sounds intriguing. I think I can propose a remedy. Le'mme however consult the trouble shooting guide first..."

After a few whirrs and whams, the computer reacts, "We seem to have discovered some relief to your trouble. Have you plugged the power cable in?"

I check up and find the cable lying loose. I dutifully inform the computer. And it says, "Plug it in and call me in the morning, if there is any new input"

Six days later the TV goes on the blink. I tell my computer, "I have plugged the power cable. Still there would not be any picture or sound"

The computer thinks for a while and asks, "Have you connected the antenna?"

I find the antenna missing. The computer is right - once again. (It has long back qualified to be the leading consultant to KBC)

The next time I may have to say, "I have plugged the power cable and also the antenna. No picture. What could that be due to?"

My computer will have the answer - I am sure

It might only be a simple database - but what a remarkable job of knowledge and experience coding! I have packages similarly to figure what to do if the car stalls or how to fix a microwave oven. The machine is also my window to the external world. It collects mail, orders airline tickets and arranges to send flowers to my girlfriend on her birthday

They say, the intelligence in any machine is artificial. I do not care. I must admit my computer has a remarkable memory - a Giga byte in the least! It prompts me in time to renew the driving license or the insurance. It keeps the accounts. It transacts my correspondance through neatly ordered files

Parting company with the computer has never been easy. I declare I want to quit. Have you saved your work - it asks, like a doting mother. Even then it insists - are you sure? It seems to think I would never want to leave the machine!

The language it speaks sounds funny, sometimes. It can erase, for example. It can also unerase. I have not confirmed, but I suspect it can de-unerase. When it likes, it shows. If accused of indecent exposure, it can hide. Not funnily, it can unhide what it decided to hide a little while ago. It may also de-unhide, I wouldn't know!

Tomorrow morning when I will start work, it will prompt - please type in your name. I might type in LMNOPQ Rst. It will accept and greet me, "Good morning Rst. How is the weather today?" I can appreciate all its smartness. But this, I cannot stand

When my friend Francois logs in, it asks the same questions and responds with the same warmth. I cannot but be jealous

When I appear in front, I expect to be recognized. A smile would be appropriate. The computer should feel happy. It may not have to wag its tail. Asking me to type the name, every time, as though I am a stranger - that is the limit, man!

Pattern recognition, artificial intelligence and expert systems - once considered fashionable have lately been edged out by the Internet and the Information Super Highway. The brain has uncanny capability to recognize patterns. The deja-vu report it can issue spontaneously has not yet been imitated by any machine

The sci-fi graffiti always assume the machines will take over the mankind, one day. A prosaic capability to reason has been equated to subjective human anomalies, ambitions and aspirations -- tinmoorthy brings out the fine distinction - in his usual style.