Acharya insisted that he must get his vegetarian meal. The counter clerk repeated that the desired V Meal was not in the computer. In a place like the Heathrow airport, not being in the computer spells disaster. It signifies that you would not get your hotel room if stranded. You may not get the courtesy coach or the complimentary drink

Acharya reiterated that the demand had been raised in no ambiguous terms at the point of origin. He threatened to produce the original computer record. The clerk yielded. He agreed to include the meal and let Acharya take his chance. Not the least, Acharya thundered, better get me the vegetables, or else!

A man from the inner office called Acharya. For a moment, Acharya thought his prayers are about to be answered. Instead,  Acharya was informed that his luggage would not make the connecting flight to Munich

Acharya did not get annoyed. He accepted it -- as he would concur when told it was Tuesday and it is Belgium! However the airline official counseled," As soon as you reach Munich, please lodge a complaint. Say your luggage is lost. This will help in retrieving it faster"

Acharya got his AVML, a.k.a Asian Vegetarian Meal - consisting of few blades of grass and some cauliflower leaves. He regretted having created a scene at the transfer desk

Disembarking  over, he did not find the luggage in the carousel. Ten minutes after the last passenger had left, he went to the Lufthansa counter

Germans are fashionable in manning - or more appropriately womanning the counters. This time there was a school girl. The  reason for employing a school girl is that -- this generation alone understands a generic language like English better. It makes a good tourist promotion and improves the market image for the airline

"Did you examine the carousel carefully?" asked the young girl.

"Yes -- with my both eyes wide open" responded Acharya.

"It is not there?" said an astonished girl.

"Yes!!"

"Then your luggage must be lost"

At this point Acharya got a little wiser and volunteered on a matter-of-fact basis,"My luggage is not lost - yet"

The girl was not to be confused so easily and therefore obliged, "Is your luggage found in the carousel?"

"No" -- Acharya had to admit

"That means your luggage is lost!" declared the girl

"I mean to say that the luggage is not lost - yet"

"Did you locate the luggage in that carousel?" - the cycle again started.

 "No"

 "That means... "

 Acharya  gave  up. He conceded to play the ball as the  girl  desired.

 "Yes my dear, the luggage is indeed lost"

 "Then" helped the girl, "please fill in these forms in quadruplicate"

That was what Acharya wanted in the first instance. He filled in the colour, unladen weight, the contents, their value and as a result the shape of his suitcases and so on. He was also obliged to say where he was likely to spend the next three nights

That afternoon the work at the Siemens factory kept him busy. Late in the evening he had a wash and used the shift kept separately in the briefcase, for such exigencies

The next day was quieter still. The Germans at the Siemens seemed to readily agree to whatever he proposed. Relieved earlier, he had a bath. His suitcase was found locked. He retrieved the key from the briefcase and opened. By the time he was ready for the social function of the evening, it occurred to him that his luggage considered lost once -- was there, even without his knowledge

Acharya was not surprised. He knew the scrupulous German discipline would have not only located the lost luggage but had also known he was halting at the Sheraton. That is how, he surmised the hotel staff could quietly place the luggage in his room. That is, sure, some service

Now Acharya started wondering. Supposing in the first instance, the girl was convinced that the luggage was not lost then, what would have happened? She would have learnt the differences between the past perfect and the past imperfect!

She had been advised if the luggage was in the carousel - it was there. If it was not there, she was to hand over the forms to the passenger

Had she been familiar with nuances of the language, she would have convinced herself that the luggage was not lost, as  Acharya also loved to believe! She would have gone home peacefully and slept well. The next flight would have brought the suitcases of Acharya - but there would not have been any forwarding address. Therefore the airline would have auctioned the luggage and credited the sale proceeds to some orphanage!

Acharya  understood how we, at home, have advice for others.  The engine driver knows exactly what the tax collector should do. The tax collector, in turn, is aware, how the plumber must be doing his job. The plumber is a better lawyer, while the latter is more vocal as an engineer. In short everybody knows not his duties, but knows other men's responsibilities well

It is this jack-of-all-trades-but-master-of-none attitude keeps us so busy advising others so much that we excuse ourselves from  discharging our own work.

We crowd around the booking offices, around the immigration counters while other strangers are completing their formalities. We do not think their transactions are private. We fantasize that we are helping them! When we are praying to God or when we are celebrating the birthday of our dear political leader, we are concerned that our neighbors also shall obtain the benefit of the prayers. So we blare our requests to the Gods through  the loudspeakers

Acharya is now a changed person. He is enlightened. He is Solmon, the wisest. He practices and does not preach. That is how he believes he would not lose his sanity - yet!