signs 

The moment Kapoor replaced the handset, the instrument started screaming. He disengaged from the counter and lifted the handset. He let out a yawn and a leisurely hello

"Are you Kuppuswamy from Kumbakonam ?" - inquired the caller

"No, I am not"

"Of course, you may not be. You must be a Kapoor, then"

"Yes", conceded the shop-owner

"You cannot be a Kuppuswamy from Kumbakonam, because that's me", exclaimed the caller and added "just as you may not be Kuppuswamy of Kumbakonam, I can neither be a Kapoor of Kapoor Furnishing Fabrics. Agreed?"

"Hugh" - Kapoor grunted with an obvious disinterest

"Now, gentlemen" addressed the caller, "I get fifteen to twenty calls a day on average for you. Mr Kapoor, please do something."

Kapoor suddenly woke up. He said, "Listen, young man, you can inform your correspondents that the telephone number of Mr Kapoor has since changed. The new number is..."

"Why would I do that?" - inquired the caller

"Because" Kapoor explained, "you are getting those unwanted calls, not me"

"Mr  Kapoor! these people are your clients, I presume. I suggest you may insert an ad urgently in the newspapers. Or else, you can write to them individually indicating your new number"

"Why should I?" - quipped an irritated Kapoor

"So I may not get these nuisance calls"

"My dear Kumbakonam, you please request the telephone people not to allot this number to you. Or change that if necessary. I have no role to play in this predicament of yours. Leave me to my work and good day"

"Not so fast, Mr Kapoor, I have an exciting solution. Listen to me carefully. I intend to open a shop myself to cater to this unsolicited captive clientele. As of this moment I am without a job. The prospect of getting one appears bleak. The arrangement would suit me fine"

"That is your prerogative, Kumbu! How can I stop you?"

"I  shall also let my clients know that my services are competitive. I can suggest - don't buy at Kapoor's, buy that at Kuppu's. Longer lasting Kuppu's carpets have rich and fluffy fur - howzzat for a starter?"

"You may not do that young man, it will be violating the code of trade ethics."

"So!  let us negotiate a price, Mr Kapoor. I can concede,  though reluctantly, to work for a commission. As I told you I am without a job.."

The telephone at the other end slammed shut without a warning.

The Chief of Delhi Telephones recently pronounced that the subscribers should themselves prepare a list of telephones often used by them. The Delhi Telephones would intend to publish only those access numbers that are of consequence to the society at large. Classical Directories do not interest them. The publication of the rail schedules has not been regular, lately. Nobody seems to miss them. Tomorrow if the telephone directories cease to appear, nobody would notice. By then, everybody would have followed the advice of the CEO at the MTNL.

Nonetheless telephone numbers will continue change periodically. How do subscribers manage this change? For some, one encounter is sufficient. There are others who do not seem to learn even if the episode repeats for the n-th time.

Each call addressed to a suspended number does cause an embarrassment to the originating party. It also, often, costs him a unit fee. Perhaps, the first such incident can be taken as a price to be paid for obtaining the changed status of the number. But what can we say of those people who continue to pay at this rate for the same data n-times? Surprisingly the incidence of such gullibility is large.

It is like buying several copies of today's newspapers hoping some copy, at least, would have published your letter to the Editor.

They are these people who reach Central Station at 0745 hours because the schedules proclaim so. If the GT Express does not turn up, they know it can be late and therefore they will wait. They also believe -- there is nothing like a wrong number, you  are just imagining the telephone does not work for Kapoor any more. They are confident tomorrow you will be OK and accept all the calls meant for the inimitable Mr Kapoor. That is why Kuppuswamy from Kumbakonam suggests you take advantage of the situation and invest in the direct marketing!