fire-engine.htm
Why is the Fire Engine Red?
Children of the kindergarten know the answer. The fire engine has six wheels. A bus also has six wheels. You get tickets to travel in a bus. You buy tickets to get into a train. The train runs from Vladivostok to Istanbul. There is a ferry in Istanbul. There are boats in the ferry. Boats sail in the sea. One finds fish in the sea. The fish have fins. Fins live in Finland. The flag of Finland is red. That is why a fire engine is red.
The next four days were holidays. Unfortunate that the telephone chose to become faulty on the eve of the Pooja vacation. Jagdish rang up the fault service. He was directed to a specific line, identified by the exchange code followed by 2198. The service was absolutely free, he was further told.
An answering machine responded. Jagdish politely informed that the ring does not trip in his instrument on the incoming calls. Maintenance effort need not demand a visit to his premises. The instrument is in working condition, he believed. A fault internal to the switch is suspected. The machine promptly gave him a reference code, which he, his successors or the heirs should quote in all future correspondence on the subject.
Jagdish has a color TV, a locally manufactured washing machine, a few tube lights and a crude music system. They were purchased whenever the buying power permitted. All these devices do go out of order. These gadgets observed what was termed as MTBF - without ever letting Jagdish be aware of it.
MTBF is an abbreviation for the Mean Time Between Failures. When his VCR conked off according to the postulates of the MTBF, Jagdish took it to the market. The first mechanic demanded two thousand rupees. Jagdish wanted to have another counsel. The second and the third opinions not only confirmed the fears - that the maintenance effort is going to be pretty expensive - but also that the mechanics practice a remarkable concordance, when it came to specifying the quotes. Jagdish ordered the job on the lowest quote, not because it was the best, but because, he elected to be taken for a ride at the least cost.
He often wondered why the house wiring never goes out of order. It seems to share the same technology as for the phones for example. Any maintenance relating to the house wiring can be undertaken by himself. He does not have to seek external favors.
The three pin power plug and the socket will never match - he was painfully aware - even when they came from the same manufacturer. Loose contacts, hot pins or poor insulation were things, he has come to live with. When the contacts sparked - Jagdish did not know, they caused the pictures to roll in the TV or they were responsible for the heating of the pins and eventual loss of insulation on the connecting cords.
Telephone wires may not be carrying as much power. Nevertheless, Jagdish often wondered that there can be a mechanism for pronouncing when a telephone line is okay. For example if the dialing tone can be obtained or if the ring was heard, everything seems to be in order. If they do not happen, there must be something wrong somewhere. It may not be difficult to devise a gadget that will tell when a fault is developing on the line.
This device will scream if the line suddenly cannot extend the call to you of if it can not accept an outgoing call. Must be simple, according to Jagdish.
On the following Monday, there was a knock at his door.
"Did you complain of a faulted telephone?"
Jagdish pleaded guilty. The man saw the patient, examined with the equivalent of his steth and declared that the instrument was not faulty, because it was getting dialing tone.
"Did I not tell this to you on the Thursday I rang you up?"
"You might have. Still it is our responsibility"
"You could have saved a trip if you have taken care of the symptoms I provided. I shall let you know still. The ring is not tripping"
"Probably the external (line plant) has a fault"
"May be not - it is only a mistake internal to the switch or what have you in that big building"
"Leave that to us people - you wise guy!"
The visitor packed up. The line must be obtaining some known conditions when healthy. The normal environment may have been violated before a line becomes faulted. Possibly there is a potential which vanishes during a fault. Could be, there is facility for driving some current and the line has lately become impotent. If these events are annunciated, Jagdish felt action could be initiated immediately. Otherwise you will wait till you lift the handset and discover.
"And then do what ? You intend to go, dig the cable and clear the fault?" asked the man from the big building.
"I may probably book a complaint in advance" said Jagdish.
"And expect us to move on the fault?"
"Of course, what else can I do ?"
"That is what we are doing now, you dumb!"
Jagdish now knows why the fire engines are red. They could be pink. Black. Or for that matter green, blue or yellow. Any shade other than red will invite dialogue, debate, discord, dissent and dispute. That is why it is better the fire engines continue to be red.
[This article appeared in the Telematics Magazine of India dateline April 1996. Reflective of a putrid culture -- that is the tragedy of the struggle for survival called life, the narration is intended to bring out the options and a hope that tomorrow we shall overcome]