TISM / BLOWHARD / MONSTER ZOKU ONSOMB!
The Arena Saturday August 7
Blowhard and Monster Zoku Onsomb! collectively have a proud history of pushing the Brisbane musical envelope and this was as much on display during their support slots as Rollo’s use of glad wrap.
But whereas every other band on the planet turns up and plays a show, TISM have a higher calling. They’re not here to save rock & roll or any piddling tripe like that, they’re here to save us. For however much we try to resist, the might of corporate hegemony takes its inevitable toll and before long we’re willingly swimming in the latest manufactured fad oblivious to the fact we’re really drowning in a sea of shit. At these moments TISM descend from outer space and come to our rescue. They are the white body suited knights showing us the way through the sewerage and towards the Promised Land. In building this utopia, TISM do their best work with a shovel. For 20 years they have used this humble implement to heap shit on those thoroughly deserving of such treatment but who have otherwise survived unscathed.
On this tour contestants auditioned for TISM Idol hoping to win a place in the new exciting pop star group to be called TISM. A panel of judges offered advice to the hopefuls such as, “I hope you die in a freak accident where you grate off you own genitals with a kitchen wiz. Keep working at it, good luck.”
Meanwhile, the real TISM members adopted the personas of John, Paul, George, John, Ringo, John and John and took the crowd down the long and winding road of their brilliant career. While a handful of tracks from the new White Albun became instant live favourites, the set was packed with classics from Great Trucking Songs and the absolute cream of their other albums. I’m Interested in Apathy set the tone early with Ron making a Humphrey-esque venue-wide lap of honour rather than his tradition stage dive. Following this, Victim list tragics had tears flowing to the pairing of 40 Years – Then Death and Mystery of The Artist Explained. Other highlights were the guest pipe band who provided the Amway intro, both versions of Defecate On My Face and the tender reading of The Judeo-Christian Ethic.
While Humphrey and Ron are the Glimmer Twins of Aus Rock, this show saw Les Miserables shining with his continual stage diving, microphone stand origami and body slamming nudity during I’ll ‘Ave Ya.
In this era of metrosexuals and confused gender roles, another service TISM selflessly provide is to facilitate ladies finding a male partner who is a real male. Not only are they in overwhelming quantity, but the quality of blokes frequenting a TISM show is more stellar than a keg of Belgian beer. Basically any chick who can’t pick up at a TISM gig might as well start lining up for the next Ani DiFranco tour.
At the end of the Beatles’ last-ever live performance John Lennon famously quipped, “I hope we passed the audition.” If called on to adjudicate, Dicko and co. would no doubt agree that the Beatles were overrated hacks who selfishly stole the limelight from Yoko Ono. TISM on the other hand fucking rock mate. They fucking rocked.
