The rest

Risken med humor är att folk tror att man skämtar.
(Humor is risky, people may think you are kidding)
Lasse Åberg

People are so damn serious, you guys, film critics, watch too many movies.
Peter Stormare

The war between the sexes will never be ended successfully: there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

We'll always have Paris.
Humphrey Bogart

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
Kahlil Gibran

The skin may be different but the aeorta is quite the same.
Eli Siegel

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Brooke Shields

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

We have become global thanks to media. We know what is happening on the other side of the earth five minutes later. But we know nothing about our neighbor.
Ladislaus Horatius

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin

The most valuable talent is never using two words when one will do.
Thomas Jefferson

Smart is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half to believe.

Ninty percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name.
Henry Kissinger

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright

This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book it makes a very poor doorstop.
Alfred Hitchcock

The reason that the all American boy prefers beauty to brains is that he can see better than he can think.
Farrah Fawcett-Majors

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
Alfred A. Knopf

One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few.
Spanish Proverb

You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand.
Leonardo da Vinci

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.
Benjamin Disraeli

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
Samuel Butler

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Lucille S. Harper

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
Sophia Loren

If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.
Khalil Gibran

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Jewish Proverb

Fear less, hope more,
talk less, say more,
hate less, love more,
and all good things will be yours.
Swedish Proverb

Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
Spanish Proverb

Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
Elbert Hubbard

Don't offer me advice; give me money.
Spanish Proverb

Blushing is the color of virtue.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Sir Winston Churchill

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble.
Rudyard Kipling

If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it... write it in the sand near the water's edge.
Napoleon Hill

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
Frank Zappa

Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
Henry Ford

If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
Chinese Proverb

The fruit derived from labor is the sweetest of all pleasures.
Luc de Clapiers

If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.
Otto von Bismarck

If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable.
Louis D. Brandeis

He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.

What light is to the eyes--what air is to the lungs--what love is to the heart, liberty is to the soul of man.
Robert Green Ingersoll

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
Jules Renard

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities.
Lord Dunsany

The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.
Thomas Wolfe

I was never less alone than when by myself.
Edward Gibbon

Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.
Richard Whately

Art produces ugly things which frequently become beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time.
Jean Cocteau

The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
George Bernard Shaw

One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie.

There are lies that are more credible than the truth.
Proverb from Bosnia

There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.
William James

Prohibition makes you want to cry in your beer, and denies you the beer to cry into
Don Marquis

An alcoholic is someone who you do not like who drinks as much as you do
Dylan Thomas

Dreaming permits each of and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
William Dement

I am not feeling old. Do you want to race?
Gösta Bohman, 74 years old

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
Andre Maurois

It takes vision and courage to create--it takes faith and courage to prove.
Owen D. Young

Mańana is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up and doesn’t stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost

The future has a way of arriving unannounced.
George F. Will

Nature, you might say, has a way of getting ahead of people's brains. But people's brains are also nature, so this argument reaches the realm of absurdity.
N.S. Tzannes

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
Sam Ewing

Seeing is deceiving. It’s eating that’s believing.
James Thurbert

Pessimist and Optimist
Two men look out through the same bars:
one sees the mud, and one the stars.
Frederick Langbridge