Risken med humor är att folk tror att man skämtar.
(Humor is risky, people may think you are kidding)
People are so damn serious, you guys, film critics, watch too many movies.
The war between the sexes will never be ended successfully: there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
We'll always have Paris.
Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
The skin may be different but the aeorta is quite the same.
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
We have become global thanks to media. We know what is happening on the other side of the earth five minutes later. But we know nothing about our neighbor.
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
The most valuable talent is never using two words when one will do.
Smart is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half to believe.
Ninty percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book it makes a very poor doorstop.
The reason that the all American boy prefers beauty to brains is that he can see better than he can think.
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
Alfred A. Knopf
One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few.
You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand.
Leonardo da Vinci
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Lucille S. Harper
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Fear less, hope more,
talk less, say more,
hate less, love more,
and all good things will be yours.
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
Don't offer me advice; give me money.
Blushing is the color of virtue.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Sir Winston Churchill
I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble.
If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it... write it in the sand near the water's edge.
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
The fruit derived from labor is the sweetest of all pleasures.
Luc de Clapiers
If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.
Otto von Bismarck
If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable.
Louis D. Brandeis
He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.
What light is to the eyes--what air is to the lungs--what love is to the heart, liberty is to the soul of man.
Robert Green Ingersoll
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities.
The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.
I was never less alone than when by myself.
Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.
Art produces ugly things which frequently become beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time.
The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
George Bernard Shaw
One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie.
There are lies that are more credible than the truth.
Proverb from Bosnia
There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.
Prohibition makes you want to cry in your beer, and denies you the beer to cry into
An alcoholic is someone who you do not like who drinks as much as you do
Dreaming permits each of and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
I am not feeling old. Do you want to race?
Gösta Bohman, 74 years old
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
It takes vision and courage to create--it takes faith and courage to prove.
Owen D. Young
Mańana is often the busiest day of the week.
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up and doesn’t stop until you get into the office.
The future has a way of arriving unannounced.
George F. Will
Nature, you might say, has a way of getting ahead of people's brains. But people's brains are also nature, so this argument reaches the realm of absurdity.
The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
Seeing is deceiving. It’s eating that’s believing.
Pessimist and Optimist
Two men look out through the same bars:
one sees the mud, and one the stars.