They frightened small children and bullied their parents. Who on earth, I wondered, would ever want to wear one of these costumes?
Over the years I have come to know some of these ferocious warriors in their quest to crush the remnants of the Old Republic.
Overall, they are not a bad bunch of guys & gals.
This page is dedicated to some of the surprising aspects of the trooper persona I have discovered by slowly becoming one of them.
Armor feels sooo weird to put on and wear!
My armor has it's very own suitcase now and I have my very own "GOT ARMOR?" t-shirt. When ever I wear it, people ask me "Got Armor?" and I must reply, "Why YES, I do! Thanks for asking! "
--They like to party. Boy Howdy! Do they like to party! They throw parties all of the time.
--They can dance all the dances! Even the "mashed potato" and the "hoochie-koo"
--Despite what they say, they can use stairs and sit down in their armor. If they tell you something different, you will know that it is some type of pathetic ploy for sympathy.
--Some of them have very 'unusual' waredrobes. Let's just say," 'nuff said."
10) How to hit a target. Any target.
9) It's okay to shoot if a Correlian smuggler comes running at you and a dozen of your friends, screaming at the top of his lungs.
8)Never allow yourself to be promoted to anything past Lieutenant because your life insurance rates will start to soar.
7) Duck
6) Don't let primitive teddy bears borrow your speeder bike.
5) Tricks of the trade such as taking a leak without having to take off the entire uniform.
4) Don't underestimate farmboys armed with flashlights.
3) When dealing with ex-smugglers who own cloud cities, make damn sure you have them completely whipped into submission before dismissing them.
2) It's okay to shoot when surrounded by teddy bears armed with spears and stones.
1) Don't make faces at Vader from under your helmet. He knows.
10. "Real pilots wear black."
9. "My kid arrested your honor student."
8. "Join us!"
7. "Tie Fighter pilots' Union, Local THX-1138."
6. "Imperials do it in Formation."
5. "Only wimps have shields."
4. "That's no moon... I'll show you a moon!"
3. "My other ship is "The Executor."
2. "I brake for... I don't have brakes! AAAAAHH!"
1. "If you ain't a dark lord, you ain't Sith."
-----Top 10 Stormtrooper Practical Jokes
10. Replace Darth's lightsaber with a flashlight.
9. Switch Vader's oxygen supply with helium, first one to laugh, dies.
8. Blame the new admiral for making the mistake that cost you the battle.
7. Tell the tall guy "yeah, the blasted door's don't open all the way".
6. Rewire hangar speaker system so it plays LaCucaracha when the Emperor
arrives.
5. Tell the new guy that Darth appreciates constructive criticism.
4. Convince rookie pilots that TIE Fighters have shields.
3. Switching uniforms and seeing if the commander can tell the difference.
2. Sneak up on daydreaming guards and breathe through a can.
and the number 1 Stormtrooper practical joke...
1. Stick "I got your Force right HERE" signs on Executor bridge crew's
backs.
-----Top 10 Stormtrooper Complaints
10. Being downwind of Dewbacks...
9. Sometimes I feel like just another number.
8. Brainiac who thought of WHITE armour should try suiting up and hiding in a forest HIMSELF sometime.
7. Pension plan sucks... if you live that long.
6. Can't see a thing in that big white helmet.
5. Vindictive Captain always puts me on dianoga detail.
4. "Armour forms an anti-blaster cocoon," my a**.
3. Cheap-a** rifles WAY off calibration... keep missing my targets.
2. Every time I meet a nice girl, she shoots at me.
and the number 1 Stormtrooper complaint...
1. When I've personally toasted several rebels on the "Tantive IV", I still get less recognition than the guy who just said, "Look, sir, 'droids!"
"I just can't wait to be a Trooper!"
"It's been my secret wish all along!"
"I have dreamed of this day forever!"
"Everything's better with armor!"
