~~@~~@~~@~~@~~

• FIRST OFFICER'S PERSONAL LOG:

I just finished reviewing the Captain's report of our mission between Elos and Troyius. I was somewhat surprised to note that my inappropriate behavior was not mentioned. I can only assume that the Captain refrained from mentioning it, as he could not do so without implicating himself in the activities that were so unbecoming of an officer and a gentleman.

There is no excuse for my behavior ... although, one could argue that I was not in control of the situation. Nor was the Captain, for that matter. That is not an excuse, however. I had no right to get the Captain involved in such a predicament ... and if it ever becomes known what transpired between the Captain, the Dohlman, and myself, I will take full responsibility. Jim will not lose his command over *my* loss of control.

Of course, I will need to discuss what happened with Jim, eventually. Before I do that, however, I must meditate ... go back to the beginning, and see if I can determine exactly where I lost control of the situation. Then, and only then, can I face Jim ... and I pray that he is not completely repulsed by my actions.

Funny ... when McCoy told of the effect the Elasian women had on their men - their subtle, almost mystical power, to drive men wild - I scoffed ... but experience proved me wrong, and McCoy right. Little did he know, however, what effect Elasian Tears had on Vulcans! Unfortunately, I found out the hard way.

• END LOG

Spock prepared himself for meditation, kneeling before his fire pot, and trying to clear his mind. Images of the past few days refused to make sense at first, but eventually, he was able to quiet his thoughts enough to reach the second level of meditation where he could look at the situation objectively.

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~

When the Captain uncharacteristically asked me to take the Dohlman to her quarters, I was quite surprised ... after all, she was a beautiful creature ... physically the perfect type for his late night exertions. But apparently, her petulant nature and boorish manners were enough to distract him from her beauty. I was surprised to realize that I was relieved.

I contemplated this reaction as I escorted her to the quarters that Uhura so graciously gave up for the duration of this unknown mission. From the day Jim had become Captain of the ENTERPRISE, his quarters had been next to mine ... and the soundproofing was, to say the least, less than adequate. As my own attraction to him grew, I found it more and more difficult to sleep or meditate when he entertained his female guests ... which he did with uncanny regularity. On many occasions, I have contemplated asking for new quarters, but then I would have to explain my reason for the request ... and I don't think Jim would appreciate knowing that is every sexual encounter was being overheard ... so I endure it as best I can, and wish that it were I, instead of some nameless female, sharing the delights of Jim's bed.

When we arrived at Uhura's quarters, I showed the Dohlman in, and was immediately pulled out of my reverie by her emotional outburst. She ranted, and raved, and threw items across the room. As I tried to calm her, she started pounding on my chest, and burst into tears. She demanded that I find her more appropriate quarters, and when I told her there were no others, she begged me to get the Captain. I had never seen such an emotional display by anyone over the age of two.

Finding her display distasteful, and highly out of proportion to the situation, I divested myself of the locale as quickly as possible, and went to get the Captain, as she requested. When I got to the bridge, and saw Jim sitting there, I was reluctant to tell him of her complaint ... I realized that I did not want him to go to her. But I had no choice ... it was my duty to pass on her request for better accommodations ... even though I knew there were none to be given. Jim left the bridge.

As I sat in the center seat, waiting for Jim to return, I found myself becoming more and more agitated. I was fighting the urge to leave the bridge to search out Kirk ... I just *knew* that he was fucking Elaan, and I did not want him to have her! ... when the 'lift opened and Jim stepped out. As he spoke with Uhura, I found myself sniffing the air, and was relieved to note that there was no scent of sexual activity on him. Realizing that he had spent time in the presence of that most infuriating but exquisite creature ... and not had sex with her ... made me so hard, I ached. Suddenly, I wanted her ... more than anything I had ever wanted.

When the call came in from security, I joined the Captain in the lift to investigate. For once, I did not get aroused by his proximity. My only thought at that time was to get to Elaan ... I needed her. I was almost frantic for fear that she was the one hurt ... although I found that highly unlikely.

When we arrived at her quarters, the room was in complete disarray, and Ambassador Petri was lying in a pool of blood. Kirk went to his aid, and I went to the Dohlman. She reluctantly explained what had happened, then Kirk and the medical team took the Ambassador to sickbay. I remained behind.

My need was so great, I grabbed her by the upper arms, and pulled her to me. Moving my hips to grind my engorged flesh against her hip, I fumbled with the unfamiliar catches on her clothing. I was barely conscious of her hands on my body, until she opened my trousers, freeing my cock. At her touch, I stiffened, and jumped, nearly ready to come. Of course, it was too soon for that ... she pulled away, just enough to kneel on the floor in front of me, and proceeded to fondle my cock.

At first, she used her hands ... cupping my balls with one hand, and stroking my shaft with the other. It was a slow, steady rhythm ... with varying degrees of pressure. As her tempo increased, so did the pressure ... but once again, she pulled away before I reached my fulfilment.

Needing release, I took her head in my hands, and thrust my cock into her mouth. As I thrust deeply into her, I felt her teeth gently raking along the length of my shaft, and I came. She swallowed convulsively, clutching my ass to take my cock deep down her throat. When I was fully spent, I released her, but she was not through with me.

Once again, she grasped my balls with one hand, and started to massage, as her tongue circled the head of my cock. In seconds, I was fully erect once more. As she teased my cock with her tongue, and massaged my balls with one hand, she was exploring my core with the other. Her gentle probing felt exquisite ... and in minutes, she had proceeded to insert three fingers deep inside ... touching that most sensitive spot. With a gasp, I came once more.

When I was spent, she stood, telling me that I could leave. I reached out for her, but she pulled away. As I told her of my need for her, she told me that it was impossible ... she could do no more for me. She then told me that she did not intend to bind me to her ... that what had happened between us had been an accident ... it would not happen again.

Before she left me, she told me to go to my Captain ... he needed me. At her words, I felt my need of her subside ... and as she left the room, I no longer had any feelings for her what so ever.

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~

It was then, as Ambassador Petri was explaining *why* Elasian woman had the effect they did on men - that there was a chemical substance in their tears - that I realized what had happened between myself and the Dohlman. She had cried on me. Her tears were obviously affecting me. Knowing the cause, I knew I could now control these urges, even if she decided to take advantage of this 'bond' once again ... it was just a matter of discipline.

When the question of who would 'tutor' the Dohlman in the ways of civilized beings was resolved, I was very relieved that I had not been chosen ... after all, I was not sure if my discipline would be enough if I had to spend a great deal of time in her presence, alone.

Of course, I was less than pleased that the Captain would be her tutor ... although not surprised. I fought the urge to express my displeasure of this decision, knowing that there really was no other choice in the matter. I went about my business, as did the Captain ... and all went relatively smoothly ... until the Klingon ship appeared.

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~

For the most part, the events leading up to the appearance of the Klingons, and the subsequent 'battle' were all covered in the Captain's report. There was, however, one incident that he left out. Looking back on the situation, I realize I should have never left the bridge ... but I did. For that lapse of control, I may have done permanent damage to the friendship I had forged with Jim ... and, although I do not regret the experience, I do lament the possible consequences.

The incident in question came shortly after I expressed my concern for the Dohlman's presence on the bridge ... I could see that her presence was distracting to the Captain ... and I knew she was also affecting my performance. When she was reluctant to leave, the Captain stood to escort her to sickbay, leaving me the conn.

Once again, I felt an uncontrollable urge to follow. Intellectually, I knew the cause, but my body still wished to betray me. After only a few minutes, I gave in to the impulse ... I left my post without a backward glance, and followed the path they had most likely taken to sickbay.

When I emerged from the turbolift, I could hear them ... they were in a small conference room just outside of sickbay. The sound of their activity made me furious ... and extremely aroused. I used my clearance to override the lock, and entered the small room.

What greeted me, upon entering, was a quite familiar scene ... Elaan was on her knees, giving the Captain a blow job. He was a beautiful sight! The smooth chest, flat abdomen, and rock hard cock ... I ached to be the one responsible for the look of pure joy on his face, and the sounds of pleasure he was making!

It was at this point that I realized my reaction to them leaving the bridge together was not that I wanted *her* ... it was that I wanted *him*! I was suddenly unable to control my desire for my Captain.

He did not see me enter the room, as his head was thrown back, and his eyes closed. I quickly removed my own clothing, and came up behind him. Elaan noticed me for the first time (her back had been too me until that moment), and briefly reached out to stroke my shaft, while she nodded her consent. Apparently, she had some idea what I intended to do ... either that, or she didn't care, as long as it was pleasurable.

As she returned her full attention to Jim's cock, I pressed my body against his ... my own cock pressed tight against his ass. I ran my hands along his arms, until I got to his shoulders, then I pulled his head back to rest on my chest ... leaning down to suckle his exposed throat.

At my touch, his eyes flew open ... I could see the lust in his eyes, and was unsure if it was for me, or her ... but at that moment, it really did not matter. He was in my arms, where I had longed to have him. As I nibbled on his neck, I reached around him to fondle his nipples into hard nubs ... he moaned with pleasure and pressed himself back against me. I could feel myself start to come as his ass cheeks pressed against me.

Grasping my own cock, I milked the pre-ejaculate until I had enough to use as lubricant. I slipped my index finger in, as Elaan sucked his cock ... by his increased respiration, and the moans coming from him, I knew it was only a matter of seconds before he came ... unless Elaan stopped her ministrations at once.

She obviously sensed this, and pulled away ... running her hands along his thighs, and over his abdomen. By this time, I had worked two fingers into him, and was just about to start with the third. Elaan, for her part, had once again grasped Jim's cock with one hand, and my own with the other ... pumping the two of us in a slow, steady rhythm.

I finished my preparations on Jim, and simply said, 'now' ... she knew it was time. Releasing my cock, she once again took Jim into her mouth, as I centered my shaft on his prepared opening. Grasping him by the hips, I pressed in slowly ... letting him adjust to the intrusion. After a moment, I pushed deeper, burying my cock to the hilt. As I did, Elaan leaned forward, taking in the full length of Jim's cock, while she fondled both of our sacks with her strong hands.

I moved my hips, ever so slowly ... grinding against his tight ass as she sucked his cock deeply into her mouth. I knew it would not be long for either of us. As I felt my balls tighten with the oncoming orgasm, I nibbled Jim's ear, and he turned his head enough to kiss me gently. As our lips touched, we moaned into each others mouths ... a bond flaring between us, as we shared our mutual orgasms.

Spent, but still semi-hard, I pulled out of Jim while running my hands over his muscular body. At the same time, Elaan stood in front of him, and started to caress his nipples, sucking one, then the other. Jim, for his part, had still not said a word. As he watched her, I felt him lean back against me ... and suddenly, he had taken one of my hands in his, and moved it down to cup his semi-erect penis. With his other hand, he reached out to stroke Elaan's cheek.

I could not tell what he was thinking, but before he could say anything, the intercom buzzed. It was Scott, with the news of the depleted dilithium crystals. The call seemed to break the spell, and we quickly dressed and went back to our duty, as Elaan finally made her way to sickbay.

We had not been on the bridge for long when Elaan stepped out of the 'lift. I noticed that she had changed her clothing, apparently in an attempt to tempt the Captain once more into letting her stay. But I also noticed that he was not so captivated with her as he had been before. Whether it was his sense of duty that kept him from giving in to the pull of her charms, or something more, I do not know. All I know is that, after the crisis was over, we continued on to Troyius, and delivered Elaan to her knew husband, as ordered.

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~

• FIRST OFFICERS PERSONAL LOG, SUPPLEMENTAL:

I have meditated on the events of the past few days, and come to the conclusion that I must confront Jim about what happened. I have to find out if there is any possibility of a closer relationship between us, or if what happened was just a result of the Elasian tears. It is my fondest hope that we may have a future together as something more than friends ... but I must know Jim's thoughts on this.

• END LOG