Jack Thomas Horton was born on April 27,1999. His birth took place at Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga, Tn. My pregnancy with Jack was much different from my first two boys; Ryan, currently age 13 yrs.; and Mitchell, currently age 12 yrs. With the first two pregnancies things went along real good. Also things like cravings, and such were a lot alike. With Jack, however, I had a great deal of problems that occured during pregnancy, and the delivery. Once my little sweetheart came though, we had a perfect family! Our little family was wonderful! He completed our family tree with his sweetness. There's nothing like a baby in the house! Of course this meant that I was very busy at home with three boys. At the time they were ages two and a half, another almost four, and a newborn. Fun it was, fighting over whos turn it is to feed the baby, get a diaper, passy, hold him, etc. He got the name "BABY JACK" from his big brothers. Now that someone is in the home smaller than them it gave them justification to be a big boy now. At age two and a half, and four it's a big deal to be a big boy! So they called him Baby Jack. It soon became an important thing for mommy and daddy to call him Baby Jack too, and they insisted on it! If we called him Jack they would always correct us. We had a great time, the five of us! We did things as I assume a lot of other families do...go out to eat, shopping, to the park, etc. My husband Tom, and I loved our boys with all our hearts, and we try to raise them with all the love we had to give, happiness, guidance,and so on. We want them to always depend on us throughout thier lives.
June 12,1999; 4:00A.M. My son Ryan came to us as we were in bed sleeping. He was telling on his brother for getting out of bed, and more importantly, getting into our stuff. Actually, if I recall, it was bathroom items that he had no bussiness being in. My husband went to see the damage,and I got up to check on Jack. When I picked him up he was cold as ice, and I instantly knew he was dead. I had no idea what it was like to hold a dead baby before, but due to his blue, cold, and lifeless -stiff body; it was only evident. Instantly a dagger went through my heart, and yes it's scarred forever! I screamed out loud "Oh my God" over and over, and my husband came running to me. I handed him to Tom, and he began to try to revive him. As this took place I paced back and forth in the living room with my hands held over my mouth repeating over and over "Oh my God". I had never in my life felt so useless. I never had my world just stop (the sudden death), not knowing how to feel. Yet at the same time my world is spinning rapidly in cirles with no idea where to go or what to do to help. Shortly after is when I began to feel all of the feelings, but at that moment I was completely empty, and I had never felt like that before. My worst nightmare had come true. I thought this happened to other people, not me. Of course we called 911 and all sorts of people were there (the typical crime scene). Photo's being taken for evidence & questions galore! Of course they didn't know us personally & have to treat every case equal. But what an experience to go through when you're grieving over the loss of your child!! As the medical examinor was waiting for us to say our goodbyes,Tom held him first, then handed him to me. I held my son and cried. I kissed him,and placed him on the bed & rubbed my hand on his cheast gently one last time. Then I left the room to go out to Tom. I didn't want to see my son wrapped up. As I was walking down the hall to Tom I had my first real moment of reality. I thought to myself that at six and a half weeks old, my job as his mother is over. There's nothing else that I can do to help my son,to protect him. He had a beautiful ceremony, and was placed at Greenwood cemetary. We purchased a bench to place on the plot, just below his marker, on the bench is ingraved "BABY JACK". In order to have enough room for the bench, they gave us five plots all together. Baby Jack was obviously special to many people!!! We purchased a beautiful marker for him that has a big bear on it. We visit the grave a lot. The boys love to go there, they run and play. We celebrate his birthday, angel day, and think of him daily. We talk about him as if we were still here. We discuss what he would look like, or be doing, and saying, etc. Baby Jack has touched our lives, and also others who never even met him. He was special in more ways than any of us will ever know. He is in Heaven now, and Jesus is holding him. I had this child, and watched over him as his mother. Now he watches over us, as our guardian angel. We love you Baby Jack! |
