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*~* Chapter Three *~*

"Actually, I was thinking about a . . . er . . . a sperm donor. I DO have a specific person in mind . . ." Harry drifted off. "Umm . . . please don’t go crazy or anything, but I was considering Professor Snape."

Three . . . two . . . one . . .

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!!" exploded Sirius, getting to his feet. "Are you fucking crazy?!"

Harry winced. It was the second time he’d gotten that reaction. "I-"

"You can’t be serious," said Sirius incredulously. "Okay, I can live with the baby thing, that’s fine. But this . . . oh no! This is too much! I mean, you want Severus Snape to be the father of your child?! Think about this Harry, okay, just even a little bit."

"I HAVE! I’ve thought and thought and thought . . ." Harry’s voice softened. "But I still want Professor Snape to-"

"Harry," interrupted Remus gently. "Severus . . . he wouldn’t . . . I mean, Severus . . . he may come off as a bastard, but-"

"Come off as one? COME OFF AS ONE?!!! He IS one!!! He HATED you, Harry!!" cried Sirius as he paced around the room like some sort of caged animal.

Harry made a face. "He never HATED me."

A look of shock and disbelief crossed Sirius’s angry face. His hands began to make movements that looked a lot like he was attempting to strangle something, or someone. "Hold me back, Remus, hold me back because I SWEAR I'm gonna hurt him for saying something SO stupid!"

"Look, he TOLD me so! During a mission," Harry replied.

Sirius gave a very dog-like growl before leaping clear over the table between them. Harry jumped up and darted out of the way just before his godfather grabbed him. "And you believed him?!" he roared, approaching Harry with a deadly gleam in his eye. "You believed that greasy, spiteful, hooked nose demonic little bastard?!"

"Now, now, Sirius. Calm down . . ." muttered Remus, but he was completely ignored.

"What reason did he have to lie, Sirius?" protested Harry as he kept a good enough distance from Sirius. "Besides, you’re one to talk about spite!"

"And, if I remember correctly," Remus cut in, "you were the one who give him that hooked nose-"

"That is TOTALLY irrelevant!!" he spat at his lover before returning his anger to Harry. "What exactly happened between you two on those missions? Did he try to force himself on you or something?"

"Wha- NO!" Harry looked mildly disgusted. "If he did, do you really think I’d be talking to you about-"

"I don’t know! I HONESTLY don’t know! Maybe he brainwashed you or something!"

"Brainwash . . . that’s absolutely ridiculous!"

"And so is wanting SEVERUS SNAPE to father your child!!"

"You just like to carry grudges, Sirius! I bet if it was almost anyone else, you wouldn’t be having such a hard time with this!"

Sirius didn’t want to admit that Harry was right, but he was. Not like he was going to tell him, though. "Surely, Harry, there’s someone else," he gasped desperately. "A-a second person you had in mind, in case Snape didn’t agree."

Harry appeared thoughtful. "Well . . . there WAS someone . . ."

"Yes, yes? Who?"

"Draco Malfoy."

Sirius saw red again. "WHAT?!" He lunged forward.

Harry laughed and danced out of the way. "Just kidding, just kidding!" Remus chuckled behind his hand as Sirius began to look a bit embarrassed at his tendency to overreact.

"Damn it, Harry, don’t SCARE me like that! One shock is enough for the day. Now . . . I heard from Ron and Hermione that you had a crush on a nice boy . . . what was his name?"

"Oliver Wood?" suggested Remus. [1]

"Yeah, that’s it!"

Harry blushed furiously. WHEN did this rumor start? WHY hadn’t he heard anything about it? Most importantly HOW did it start? He’d never . . . Oliver had never . . . NEITHER of them had ever HINTED at wanting more than a friendship with each other . . . Then again, Hermione had told him once that he was blind to most romantic on-goings at Hogwarts. Could he have missed something? Probably, but that wasn’t important at the moment. "I didn’t have a crush on him! Oliver and I are just friends!"

Remus grinned. "Ron said that you met him for dinner last week at a fancy French Muggle restaurant in London. Sounds a bit . . . romantic for a friendly outing, don’t you think, Sirius?"

"I’d have to agree with you there, Remus," said Sirius slyly. "TOO romantic."

"I-it wasn’t MY idea. Oliver suggested the place, not me! And you two are doing the exact same thing that Ron did, trying to distract me. Let’s get back to the topic, shall we?"

"Okay," said Sirius sternly, going back into ‘battle mode’. "No, you are not going to ask Snape to father your child, you will forget that the stupid idea came into your mind, you will go out with Oliver Wood-"

"Don’t give me ultimatums! I’m not a child, Sirius. Not anymore."

Sirius snorted. "Really? You’re not? Only a child would rush into something like this without giving it the proper amount of thought."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I HAVE? And you won’t stop me. I’m going to do what I want! I’m tired of having decisions made for me!"

Remus cut in., realizing that they were about to go back to anther round of bickering back and forth. He was developing a bit of a headache, too. "Sirius, can I talk to you in private, please?"

"Actually, Remus, I’m having an important conversation right now, so- OUCH!! HEY!!"

Remus dragged him out of the living room by the back of his shirt and shoved him forcefully into the kitchen. Sirius whirled around and glared, pacing like an angry dog. "Please don’t argue with Harry anymore, okay?"

"Why not?! I’m not going to let him do this, Remus, I just CAN’T!"

Remus sighed heavily and lowered his voice so that Harry would not overhear him. "Look, what I was TRYING to tell Harry before I was rudely interrupted was that Severus Snape isn’t that kind of person, to just let someone have his child and not care for it. Clearly you don’t remember that whole mess back in our sixth year, when that Slytherin girl claimed that Severus knocked her up. Remember how willing he was to take care of both of them, but especially that baby? You didn’t see the look on his face when he found out that it wasn’t even his . . ."

Sirius snorted rudely. "Yeah, that’s because it meant that his girlfriend was screwing around with someone else."

Remus sighed exasperatedly. "That is NOT the point! What I’m trying to say is, Severus will definitely say no. So just let Harry ask him, he’ll decline, and that will be that."

And I won’t look bad in Harry’s eyes, because I let him do what he wanted. " . . . Fine, he can ask. Now send him away before I change my mind and knock his block off, okay?"

"Whatever, Sirius." Remus went back to the living room where a very nervous Harry was standing next to the fireplace, his hand awfully close to the pot of Floo Powder sitting on the mantel. He gave Harry a reassuring smile. "Sirius says you can ask Snape if you want to."

Harry let out huge a sigh of relief. "Thanks for whatever you said to calm him down. I really appreciate it."

"Ummm . . . Look, Harry . . . are you sure . . ."

Harry looked past Remus, at a spot on the wall. "I wouldn’t expect any of you to understand. He’s not a bad person, really. We’ve talked, I’ve told him some things I’ve never told anyone else. He listens, he understands. He’s told me a little about himself, which explains why he is the way he is. Professor Snape just puts on that act because he doesn’t want to let anyone in. He hasn’t exactly said that, but I know."

Remus looked extremely doubtful. "Well . . . "

Harry gave him a quick hug and said, "I’ll head over to Hogwarts now. Wish me luck."

"Good luck . . ." Remus watched as Harry Apparated into Hogsmeade. I think you’ll need it.

The werewolf then returned to the kitchen and sat at the table across from Sirius. "He’s gone. Went over to Hogwarts to speak to Snape."

Sirius just grunted.

"Sirius . . ."

"Hmm?"

" . . . what do you think of babies?"

*~*

Harry was more nervous than he thought he would be as he walked down the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry towards the dungeons where Severus Snape’s private chamber were located. It was the weekend, and Snape, being as antisocial as he was, was bound to be there.

Harry had been there only once before, during his last year of Hogwarts, when he and Snape had returned form a mission. Being as stubborn as ever, he’d refused to have anyone attempt to heal his injuries, leaving Harry to escort him back to his chambers where he could tend to them himself.

He hadn’t known what to expect, but the old-fashioned dark wood furniture in the living room had been a pleasant surprise. Everything matched, the room’s accessories had obviously been chosen with care, and, from what he could see, there wasn’t a spec of dust around.

Seeing the evident astonishment on Harry’s face, Snape had snickered and gruffly said, "What did you expect? A cave?"

And Harry had replied that a cave would be more suitable for a monster like him. With a smile on his face, of course.  

They’d shared a few chuckles over that one . . . before Snape passed out and sent both of them to the floor, nearly crushing Harry in the process.

Harry was so caught up in his memories that he didn’t see a familiar person coming at him from the other direction.

"Lost in space again, Potter?" chided Draco Malfoy ash e came to a stop, his usual smirk in place.

Harry looked up and stopped, too. "Malfoy! W-what are you doing here?"

Draco just looked over his shoulder, then up and down at Harry. "More like I should be asking you that question, hmm? Are you lost? You do realize that you’re heading to the dungeons."

"Er . . . yeah . . ."

The blond looked a little shocked at his reply, but quickly regained his composure as usual. "Oh. Going to see Professor Snape? What for?"

"Is it any of your business?"

One slim eyebrow raised. "Getting a bit defensive, aren’t you? I just asked a simple question. You must have something to hide."

"No I don’t," replied Harry a little too quickly. It bothered him that Draco could was always sure of himself, always so poised, never at a loss for words, while Harry had always been the opposite. Evidently, things were still the same. Harry cleared his throat, anxious to change the topic. "What are you doing here? I thought you’d never come back after you graduated."

Draco shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly. "I’ve got nothing to hide, Potter, so I think I’ll tell you. I want to become Professor Snape’s apprentice."

"His apprentice?"

Malfoy put on one of his innocent looks and stared almost demurely down at the floor. Then he said softly, so soft that Harry nearly missed it, "Professor Snape is a very knowledgeable man. I’m sure there are some . . . things . . . that he could teach me." Then came a sly grin and a roguish wink. "If you get my drift, Potter."

He did, but he wished that he didn’t. Malfoy was interested in their old potion’s teacher? Well, he wasn’t really one to talk. After all, he wanted to have the man’s baby. Nonetheless, Harry turned red. "I . . . I don’t know what to . . . er . . ."

"Twice my age or not, Potter, he’s one right sexy devil! But don’t go telling him that, all right? I take pleasure in challenges, and, I must say, this is going to be a tough one!" Draco straightened his clothes, although they did not need it in the least. "Later, Potter, as we will probably meet up again in the future. We do have a knack for that sort of thing, don’t we?" With that, he waltzed off down the hallway, leaving Harry to stare after him. Some miscellaneous ghost stuck her head out of the wall and whistled as he went by, and the blond just winked back.

Harry shook his head and continued on his way, thinking back to Malfoy’s words. Later, Potter, as we will probably meet up again in the future. We do have a knack for that sort of thing, don’t we?

He knew exactly what he meant. There had been one time, back during one of Harry’s first missions, when he’d met up with Draco at a Death Eater gathering. The blond had (reluctantly) led Harry to safety and diverted the people who were after him, giving him enough time to escape. Several more events such as that one led Malfoy to join Dumbledore’s Order. "I’ve already risked my neck for Potty and the side of Good," he’d mused, "so I might as well make it official."

Once Harry was outside of the wall that hid the entrance to Snape’s lair (one stone a tiny shade darker than the rest surrounding it signaled that he was in the correct place), Harry tapped on it with the end of his wand. "Professor, it’s Harry."

The wall slid back and admitted him into Snape’s chambers. He was standing there in the entryway, a thick book in hand, with his usual scowl in place. "What do you want?"

"To talk."

Severus let out an exasperated sigh and motioned for Harry to follow him back to his study. "I had no idea that I was so popular, Potter. Draco was just down here to see me, although I must say your visit is more unexpected than his."

"Yeah, I, er, ran into him in the hall. He wanted to be your apprentice?" They went into the study where Snape sat behind his desk and Harry sat in front of it. He shifted nervously in his seat and folded his hands in his lap.

A smirk. "A sly one, he is, but I’m far more sly. I know what he really wants."

Oh. My. God. Harry blushed AGAIN. "Umm . . . what?"

"I’ve seen that gleam in his eye far too many times when he wants something, which, may I remind you, is all of the time."

"Are you going to let him? Be your apprentice, I mean?"

Severus looked thoughtful, as if he were really considering it. "I suppose, if only to teach him a much needed lesson. He has promise. He could be a great potion’s master."

"I’m sure he could," Harry murmured.

"You wanted something, Potter?" When he got no reply, Severus glared. "Speak up, boy, I don’t have all day."

"Oh, right!! Well, I . . . um . . . I came to ask you something. Something very important. Ahh . . ." Harry didn’t want to burst out with, ‘I wanna have your baby, so gimme your goods’ or anything like that. No, this was a more delicate situation, and therefore needed a much more delicate approach. But how should he . . . what to say . . . how to say it . . .

"Well, Potter? You’ve obviously got something on your mind because it’s written all over your face. Go on and spit it out. What’s so important?"

"Umm . . ." C’mon, Harry, c’mon you can do it! Just say it, get it over with, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon . . .

"Professor Snape, could I treat you to dinner tonight?"

*~* End of Chapter *~*

Author’s Note: Get the title now? Harry chickens out? NEXT CHAPTER: So Harry takes Snape out on a ‘date’. What happens? Will Harry finally open his mouth and ASK ALREADY?

I think my Snape is awful, my Draco over exaggerated (but I like that), and my Harry is pretty good. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d like to hear them.

[1] Someone asked me what the relevancy of brining up Oliver was. Let’s just say that I didn’t just stick it in there for no good reason, okay? * Wink *