Title: Baby, Oh Baby! (04)
Author name: Enchantress101
Author email: tobygirl2020@yahoo.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: Drama
Keywords: Slash Harry/Snape mpreg
Rating: R
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF
Summary: Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author notes: I am finally updating this on astronomy tower. Fanfiction.net deleted this fic from its site for no good reason, so, until I can get that corrected, I will post here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*~* Baby, Oh Baby! *~*

Chapter Four

"Dinner."

"Er . . . yes, dinner."

"You came here to ask me if I'd like to go out for . . . dinner."

A nervous, not to mention, fake cough. "That . . . IS what I said."

Severus could not, for the life of him, figure out if this was a joke or not. Out of the blue, Harry Potter, whom he'd not seen for a good six months, waltzes right into his private chambers and asks him out for dinner, as if they'd been good acquaintances or something. As suspicious as ever, Snape leaned over his desk. "What is the meaning of this, boy? I've no time for games."

"I . . . I just wanted to talk, Professor," replied Harry nervously, wishing that Snape wouldn't glare at him that way. "Honestly! It's been a while since we've last seen each other and . . ."

"And what?"

"I . . . well . . . can't somebody be nice once and a while without having to get all defensive?" asked Harry quickly, pretending to be insulted.

Severus snickered. "No, not in this world. Now get out, I have work to do."

Harry wasn't about to let him get away that easily. As Snape stood up and walked around his desk, Harry jumped up and stood in his way, hands on his hips. "Come on, why not?"

Severus scowled. "Why should I? I do get fed at Hogwarts, you know. After seven years here, I thought you would've known that."

Harry didn't reply, just stood his ground and raised his chin as if to say, I won't move from this spot until you say yes!

The potion's master sighed heavily and moved to the right. Harry just hopped in front of him, still blocking his way. Snape darted to the left, and Harry mirrored his movements. After a few rounds of that, Severus threw up his hands. "Must I hex you into oblivion, boy, to get you to move out of the way?!"

Harry grinned. "No need for that, Professor. Just go out to dinner with me, and that will be that."

" . . ."

"What's it going to take to get you to say yes? You can choose the place."

Glare. " . . ."

"Um . . . okay . . . well . . . how about this. I'll pay. How does that sound?"

Potter was going to pay? Hmm . . . " . . . Fine. Let's go."

Harry released a sigh. He'd expected Snape to pull out his wand or something, but was glad that it hadn't come to that. "Okay! Umm . . . let's . . . go!"

Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Hadn't he just said that? Suddenly he had the feeling that it would be a very long night indeed.

*~*

So Severus Snape allowed himself to be dragged away to Hogsmeade by one Harry Potter, who, he'd noticed, seemed extremely uneasy about something or other, his mouth running about a mile and hour about this and that. Potter, he'd learned, had the habit of babbling when he was anxious. Severus suspected that it had to do with the real reason the boy had stopped by. He hadn't bought the 'I-wanted-to-take-you-out-to-dinner' story one bit, simply because it didn't make a lick of sense. Potter had returned to Hogwarts just to see him? Not bloody likely.

Besides the offer to pay for the entire meal, Snape let himself be pulled along because he was curious, yes, curious. What did the boy want of him that could make him so nervous?

Harry took Snape to a new restaurant in Hogsmeade that had just opened a week ago. "I've been wanting to try this place out," said Harry as they made their way through the groups of people. "Ron told me that they've got great food."

They stopped outside of the restaurant, and Snape looked up at the sign hanging above his head and nearly groaned aloud. It figures he'd take me here . . .

It simply read- Dean's.

"Hope you don't mind, Professor," muttered Harry, "but I promised Dean that I'd make an appearance. Good for business and all."

"I can imagine . . ."

There was a waiting line outside the door but Harry, being who he was and all, just pushed to the front and was immediately led to a table by a man in dark red robes with gold trimming. It appeared that the rest of the staff was dressed in the same attire.

In fact, the tablecloths were exactly the same, the napkins dark red and the utensils gold. The chairs were also gold with red velvet cushions, and from there, it went on and on.

Well, at least no one could say that Dean Thomas wasn't a loyal Gryffindor.

"These colors are giving me a headache," grumbled Snape as he sat and stared at everything as if it were diseased.

Harry, however, was enjoying himself. Dean had himself a pretty fancy establishment, complete with a string quartet playing in a corner. Looks like someone's rolling in the money! Good for Dean.

The war had been particularly hard on him. He'd lost his mother in a Death Eater attack back in their sixth year and had missed many months of school. When he finally returned, the Gryffindors rallied together to show him their support, just as they did for everyone else who'd somehow suffered during those tough times.

Dean practically galloped over to heir table and gave Harry a hearty grin, slapping him on the back. "You made it! Thanks man, I owe you one. This should get more people coming in, once word gets out."

"No problem! But by the looks of that line out there, you're gonna have your hands full!"

Dean beamed. "Yeah, no kidding! Anyway, order whatever you like, Harry, it's on the house! Your guest can . . . too . . . oh, umm . . . Professor Snape! What a nice . . . surprise . . ." He shot Harry a look and received a one shoulder shrug in response.

Snape poked at the fork by his side with a long, slim finger, then made a point of eyeing the red tablecloth. "Nice colors, Mr. Thomas," he said sarcastically. "Highly original."

"Umm . . . thanks? I think? Uh, nevermind. Enjoy and stop by again." He took off into the kitchens.

Harry gave Snape an evil look. "That wasn't nice."

"Since when have I been nice?"

" . . . good point."

A set of menus magically appeared before them and Harry quickly snatched his up and hid behind it. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, taking Snape to a public place to ask such an important question. What if things got nasty and he just . . . lost it? Well, then again, maybe Snape wouldn't try to kill him with so many witnesses around . . .

"You tricked me," Snape was saying, his eyes boring into his own menu.

Harry peeked around the side of his. "Wha . . . what?"

"I said, you tricked me. I came here on the pretenses that I could empty your wallet for dragging me away from the comforts of my dungeon, but you and your celebrity status seems to have won again."

"Serves you right," snickered Harry.

"Mmm. So, Potter, you wanted to ask me something, didn't you?" asked Severus. He folded up his menu and stared across the table.

"Er . . . actually . . ."

"Yes?"

" . . ."

Snape was growing impatient. "Well?"

" . . ."

He reached over and yanked away the menu that Harry was hiding behind. "That's better."

Harry squirmed in his seat. I wish he'd stop looking at me like that. Like he's gonna swoop down and bite my head off. Which he probably will, once I ask him . . . "Er, Professor, you see . . . I wanted to know if I could . . . I mean, if you could . . ."

Snape watched, slightly amused, as Harry became more and more flustered as the words left his mouth. He wasn't ashamed to say that he took pleasure in frightening people younger than him. Especially young Gryffindors. Snape leaned back in his chair and relaxed. "Yes?"

"Er, what I mean is, I need . . . no, that isn't right!" Deep breaths, Harry, deep breaths . . . Harry took a moment to fill his lungs with air. "What I want to know is-"

"Harry! What a nice surprise!"

Snape shot the newcomers a dark look. It was Oliver Wood, the Quidditch superstar, and Percy Weasley, who put in more hours at the Ministry than the Minister himself, his own father. Just when the boy was about to break . . .

Harry was almost relieved to see them. He would just have to put off the question asking until later. Maybe by then, he'd have his act together. "Percy, Oliver, hullo!" he said enthusiastically. "Just got here?"

Oliver nodded. "This place is great. Gotta love these colors!"

The three young men shared a laugh, until Snape loudly cleared his throat. "As much as I'd love for this Gryffindor reunion to continue on in my presence, I'd like to order some food now. That is why we're here, right, Potter?"

Percy looked surprised, then glanced from Harry to Snape suspiciously. "Oh, hullo Professor. Haven't seen you in years." And just what are you doing here with Harry?

Snape just slid the menu in front of his face.

"Um, right," muttered Oliver before turning back to Harry. "Can we join you?"

"Ah . . . sure! The more the merrier!"

Magically, two more chairs appeared and the table grew a bit, allowing Oliver and Percy to sit down opposite each other. A waiter suddenly appeared at their side, and their drinks were quickly decided, but it took nearly ten minutes for them to place an order, mostly because Oliver was trying to stay with his diet regimen and couldn't seem to find anything fitting on the menu. In the end, Snape gave him a menacing glare, he ordered a salad and baked chicken, and that was that.

" . . . very demanding. I need to keep in shape, and that means I have to eat right," Oliver was saying to Harry, who appeared to be listening with great interest. He gave him a once over and continued, "You know, you look like you're fit. We could use a Seeker with your skills, Harry. I know you must miss playing."

Harry looked wistful. "Yeah, I do, but I don't think I could cut the early wake up calls and stuff. Too strenuous, if you ask me."

Percy leaned in. "Well, the Ministry could certainly use someone like you. The place is still a mess, despite my dad's attempts to fix things. People would listen you, I'm sure."

Harry just laughed and shook his head. "Noooo! Office work is definitely not for me, but I'd like to help out with anything that you may need. Spokesperson, something like that."

"Well, then, what do you plan on doing for the rest of your miserable little days, boy?" questioned Snape. "Are you going to let your 'Boy-Who-Lived' title carry you through life?"

Percy and Oliver winced, then hesitantly looked at Harry. Surprisingly enough, he didn't seem to be that angry about what Snape had said.

"I really don't know. All of my friends are successful. Hermione's books are on the list for Hogwarts every year, Ron's working at the Ministry, Dean's got this place, Seamus has his night club, even Malfoy has something- a Muggle clothing line."

"Really?" Oliver raised an eyebrow.

"Really! Then there's you two. Lavender, Padma and Parvati are singers, Neville is a leading herbologist, the twins have their joke shop, Ginny's line of hair and skin care products-"

"We get the point," grunted Snape and gulped down his glass of wine. Like he wanted to hear the Gryffindor Success Story over his dinner. Really, it was enough to make him gag.

"What I'm trying to say is," Harry continued, "everyone's seemed to have found their calling. I just don't know if I will."

Oliver gave Harry a sympathetic look. "You will. Don't worry about it. You've got time."

Harry smiled back. "Thanks."

Snape sneered in disgust. Thank god his glass kept refilling magically. He downed more wine and glared at Oliver and Harry.

It was sick.

He didn't want to sit here and watch them make eyes at each other all night. It didn't help that Weasley seemed to be pushing Wood's chair closer to Potter's, encouraging some sort of intimacy between them. A Gryffindor love match being made in front of my eyes. Kill me now.

Eventually, Oliver swatted at Percy, making the red head back off.

Their food came, and (thankfully) conversation was scarce. Once their meal was over, Percy and Oliver made their excuses and left, but not before Wood gave Harry a 'friendly' hug goodbye. By that time, Snape was more than ready to go, and was glad when his eyes were finally free of the Gryffindor colors.

If the food hadn't been as good as it was, he would've considered the night a total waste.

Harry insisted on accompanying Snape back to his chambers. He realized that his two old friends had distracted him from the focus of the dinner. He still hadn't asked Snape yet . . .

They stopped outside of the wall with the lone odd colored stone. Snape waited for Harry to leave, but instead, he just stood there expectantly.

"Well, boy, if you're waiting for me to comment on the good time I had tonight, then you'll be out here for all eternity. That was the sorriest excuse for an outing that I've ever-"

"I'm sorry about Oliver and Percy," Harry said quickly. "I really had no idea they'd be there, and I couldn't just turn them away!"

Snape just scowled.

"Besides, what would YOU know about going out? I thought you were the dungeon monster," teased Harry lightly.

"I'm nearly twice your age. I think I should know more about things than you."

"Is that so? Well, why don't you treat me out tomorrow night?"

Severus shook his head and tapped his wand on certain stones and darted into his rooms when the wall pulled back. Harry followed after him, despite the glare that he received.

"What on earth do you want?" demanded Snape. "Don't you have a home to go to?"

"Come on! You can take me anywhere you want."

"Is that supposed to . . ." Wait a minute. Snape thought back to an article he'd read in the Daily Prophet not too long ago. A devious grin appeared on his face. Yes, this would be the perfect pay back for his hellish night. Mortification and humiliation was in store for the annoying little brat, and hopefully it would finally get him off his back. "Alright Potter, you've got a deal. Be outside the dungeons at six sharp."

Harry was suddenly very afraid. That look on Snape's face was not good, not good at all . . .

*~*

"You did, didn't you? You asked?"

Harry sighed into the phone and threw off his cloak and robes. "No, not exactly."

Ron snickered on the other end. "So you chickened out?"

The first thing Harry had done when he entered his house was phone for Hermione for advice. Unfortunately, she was resting, and Harry decided that she and her baby needed sleep more than he needed her wisdom. So instead he settled for Ron, who'd finally realized that he didn't have to scream into the phone to be heard.

"Well, I WAS gonna do it, but . . ." Harry plopped down on the couch and threw an arm over his face. "Then Percy and Oliver showed up and I got distracted. Or maybe I was just too afraid to ask."

" . . . Woah, hold on a second there. Percy was there with OLIVER? Isn't he YOUR man?"

"NO!! He's not my man, or whatever. I don't know why they were there together, or why they were there at all. But that's not the point. I-"

"Maybe Oliver heard that you were going to be there, and he decided to stop by. Probably ran into Percy along the way and wanted to be nice so he asked him to come along. I mean, we both know that Perce doesn't have a social life at all, so it was probably out of sympathy. Besides, I don't even know if Percy's interested in blokes, or, for that matter, interested in anything at all because-"

"Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we get back to the topic here?"

"Oh, right! Sorry bout that."

"Uh huh. Anyway, since I failed to ask the big question tonight, I convinced Snape to take me out tomorrow night, so I'll have another chance then-"

"WHAT?! You're going out on a DATE with SNAPE?!"

"Not 'take me out' like that! You know what I mean."

Ron suppressed a laugh. "Whatever. So, where's he taking ya? I bet it'll be someplace nice. Herm thinks he's loaded, despite the fact that he doesn't seem to buy any shampoo."

Harry flipped over onto his stomach. "I don't know where we're going. But he had that nasty little gleam in his eye. You know, when he's about to do something particularly mean and evil?"

"Ohhh boy, do I know! We were on the receiving end of that look many times, remember?"

"Yeah. Makes me wonder what he has planned . . ."

*~*

Miles away, Remus Lupin was dreaming.

Dreaming of bottles and cribs, pacifiers and baby blankets, rocking chairs and giant stuffed teddy bears. Babies in white diapers danced back and forth in his mind, singing and humming cute little nursery rhymes in high-pitched voices. Eventually he woke and sat up, rubbing the side of his head with the back of his hand groggily.

He had to be loosing it. Dancing babies, baby voices singing, baby things swinging side to side to the rhythm of the songs . . .

Remus was officially obsessed.

He wanted a baby. He needed a baby, or else he was afraid that he was going to loose his mind.

Too bad Sirius had skirted around his question about babies earlier that day, and make up some pathetic excuses to leave the room whenever he brought it up again.

There wasn't any need for Sirius to act that way. All he has to do is sit and talk with me. If he doesn't want a baby, then fine, whatever, I'll deal. But I can't . . . not until I know what he thinks.

Was he afraid that they were too old to be parents, or that it would be hard on their child to have two fathers and no mother?

Secretly, Remus hoped that Harry got what he wanted from Snape, and had the baby that he was so determined to father. Maybe he could be the child's godfather.

That was probably as close to fatherhood as Remus was going to get.

Author's Note: Aww, poor Remus! Will he and Sirius ever work out their problems? Will Remus have his baby? Will Oliver ever ask Harry out? Is Harry gonna stop being a wimp and ask? Wait and find out!

Almost every Harry Potter story, I'm sure, deals with what Harry does after the war, after he leaves Hogwarts. Among SS/HP pairings, DADA teacher is the most popular choice. What do YOU think Harry should do? I've already got an idea, one that I don't think I've seen before. How about you? What do YOU think Harry should do?

NEXT CHAPTER: Snape takes Harry to Knockturn Alley. Where to exactly? You'll have to wait and see! Media sparks rumors and speculation, Sirius gets angry and Remus wants to take matters into his own hands . . .

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