Title: Baby, Oh Baby! (05)
Author name: Enchantress101
Author email: tobygirl2020@yahoo.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: Drama
Keywords: Slash Harry/Snape mpreg
Rating: R
Spoilers: SS/PS,
Summary: Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where
there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his
you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and
owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury
Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is
being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author notes: I am finally updating this on astronomy tower.
Fanfiction.net deleted this fic from its site for no good reason, so, until I
can get that corrected, I will post here.
Extra long chapter here! That's why it took me so long . . . anywho, thanks for
the reviews, but I've got to get back to my other fic, the one I've been sorely
neglecting for the past few weeks. What was once my little baby has turned into
a real monster of a piece . . . gotta finish it, though!
I must say, I'm growing quite fond of Baby, Oh Baby! though . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*~*
Baby, Oh Baby! *~*
Chapter
Five
Late Sunday Morning
Ronald Weasley was curious.
Instead of working that day, he sat at his
desk, twirling his quill around with his fingers while constantly peeking
around the corners of his cubical to see if his brother Percy would just happen
to walk by. A pile of paperwork that probably needed his immediate attention
sat in the corner, untouched. [1]
The conversation he'd had with Harry the
previous night was bugging him. He couldn't figure out why Percy had been at
Dean's restaurant with Oliver the night Harry'd showed up there. Was it all a
coincidence, or had it somehow been planned? Ron suspected the later.
"Ron, don't you have anything better to
do than stare off into space all day?"
Ron jumped and dropped his quill. He spun
around in his chair and grinned. Just the person he wanted to see. "Percy!
Hi, what a nice surprise!"
The older Weasley gave his brother a disapproving
look. Ron was up to something. He could tell by his tone of voice, and the fact
that he never greeted him so enthusiastically. "Whatever, Ron. I don't
have time for ga-"
"Hey, man, I've been meaning to ask you
a question. Harry told me you were at Dean's place last night with Oliver.
Somethin' going on with you two, huh?" Ron winked suggestively.
Percy turned pink, then yanked on the front
of his robes and forced the blood out of his face. "Don't be silly, Ron. I
don't go for guys, and everyone knows that Oliver fancies Harry."
He turned to walk away, but Ron grabbed the
back of Percy's robes and pulled him back. "Get back here! So what, were
you tryin' to set them up?"
An exasperated sigh. "YES, Ron! Are you
happy now?" Percy tried to smack his brother's hand away.
"Well, how'd you know he was
there?"
Percy looked around as if he were suspicious
of something or other, then bent down to speak in a hushed tone. "Dean was
in on it. I told him to contact me if Harry showed up. Unfortunately, he forgot
to mention that he was there with Snape." He eyed his younger brother.
"You know anything about that?"
Ron pretended to look innocent, which really
didn't work. "Who, me? No way! I don't know squat."
"I know you do." He seemed to
reconsider, then shrugged his shoulders. "Oh well, it shouldn't have
anything to do with getting those two together."
Ron snickered. Oh, yeah? Would Oliver
still want Harry if he knew he wanted to have Snape's child? "If you
say so. But why are you in their business? You usually keep to yourself."
Once again, Percy turned red and began to
look uncomfortable. He shifted his weight and glared. "Don't you have some
work to do?" he demanded a bit harshly, nodding at the pile of papers.
Ron grinned. "Oh-ho-ho! What's going on?
C'mon, you can tell me!"
"Ron, please . . ."
"No, really! Tell me!"
"No!"
"C'mon! You rarely tell me anything!"
"Fine! Okay, okay . . . a few months
ago, Oliver . . . he . . . well . . ."
Ron leaned forward in his seat eagerly.
"Yeah? Yeah?"
" . . . Oliver . . . hooked me up with
his cousin, okay? Now back off . . ."
But Ron couldn't. He just couldn't. Percy
hadn't been serious about a girl since that
Ron jumped up out of his seat and let out a
cry. "Alright, Percy! You've got another girlfriend! What's this-
number two?"
Percy winced. "Umm . . . not really . .
."
"What? You've had more? When? Who?"
" . . . she's not my girlfriend."
" . . . what?"
"She's not my girlfriend. She's . . . my
fiancée." [2]
*~*
The ringing of a phone drew Harry out of his
slumber. He groggily sat up and rubbed his face, grumbling underneath his
breath about tele-marketers and their early morning calls. Harry leaned over
and picked up the phone. "What do you want?"
"Harry! Harry, oh, thank goodness you're
there!"
"Hermione? God, do you know what time it
is? Why are you calling me so early?"
" . . . Harry, dear, it's one in the
afternoon."
"Really?" He glanced over at his
clock. "Oh, so it is."
"Whatever. Look, I need your help. The
Weasley household is a proverbial mess! There's been some sort of emergency, no
one will tell me what's going on, Ron fainted at work, people are
running around all over the place, I-"
"Wait . . . what? What happened?"
"I just said that I don't know!!
Get up and please get over here!!"
Click! Hermione hung up.
Harry stared at the phone receiver, then
slowly placed it down. The Weasley household in panic was not a pretty thing.
He'd seen it before, when the twins, stole all of the Christmas presents on
Christmas Eve from underneath the tree and claimed that they'd been vandalized
in the middle of the night. Of course, it had all been a joke, but Mrs. Weasley
had gone into a panicking frenzy, which cause everyone else to panic, which led
a huge mess and hours of yelling and fussing . . .
Did he really want to go over there?
Well, Hermione had said something about Ron fainting.
Ron was his best friend. He should be over there, trying to see what was wrong,
if he was sick or something. Although he really didn't know what Hermione
thought HE could do . . .
"Ron, this had better be good . .
."
*~*
Harry Floo-ed over to the Weasely's after he
quickly washed and dressed. Stepping out of the fireplace, his arm was
immediately gripped by Hermione.
"You made it! It's about time!"
"Where's Ron? And where's this mess you
were talking about?" demanded Harry, looking around. Everything seemed to
be in perfect condition, nothing was broken or out of place . . .
But he could hear the sound of
shouting voices coming from the backyard.
"They've moved it all outside.
Apparently, Percy told Ron something so shocking that he passed out and
hit his head on the edge of his desk while he was at work. He's out like a
light, but he should be okay. THEN, Percy told his mother what he told Ron and
now she's out too." She paused to take a deep breath, then continued with
her tale. "Now Percy's refusing to tell anyone else what he's said, and so
of course everyone's dying to know. He's climbed up a tree and is shooting
hexes at anyone who comes too close. Someone's going to get hurt at this
rate!"
Harry couldn't imagine what Percy could've
said to get such a reaction from his youngest brother and his mother. Now even
Harry was interested. Hmm . . . I wonder what it could be. "Okay,
Hermione, you stay in here. Don't want the baby to get hurt or anything like
that."
She nodded. "Be careful, and get him
down from there!"
Harry darted outside and took in the scene.
Just as Hermione had reported, Percy was up in a tree, shouting incoherently at
the top of his lungs and waving around his wand like a madman, while the twins
threw rocks and gnomes at him. Obviously, they thought the whole ordeal was
amusing and weren't taking it very seriously. Mr. Weasley was inching closer
and closer to the tree with his hands held high. Ginny was kneeling next to her
mother, who lay in a dead faint on the ground, gawking up at Percy's unusual
behavior.
It was clearly time for Harry to take charge.
"Percy!" he called. "Percy, what are you doing?"
The twins flung one last gnome at their
brother, then turned to look at him. "Aw, Harry," moaned George,
"Don't take away our fun just yet!"
"Yeah! We were just getting
started!" came from Fred.
Harry just ignored them and confidently walked
closer to the tree, past Arthur. "Percy, I just want to come up and talk,
okay? Can I come up and talk?"
He eyed Harry, then nodded, gesturing from
him to come on up. "You're not family, so I guess it's alright," he
called.
Harry levitated himself up to the branch on
which Percy was perched and sat next to him. "Now, what's this all about,
Percy? I never thought you'd go off like this."
The red head's shoulder's slumped. He covered
his face with his hands and mumbled, "I told Ron that I'd become engaged to
Oliver's cousin, and then I told Mom, and they both passed out. This is the
EXACT reason why I didn't tell them sooner! I knew they wouldn't believe me, or
over react, cause a scene . . . Is it that unbelievable that someone
would want to marry me?!"
Harry blinked. " . . . uhh . . . not
really . . . Well, congratulations!"
"Thanks. At least someone has had
the decency to do so. And thank you for not passing out, too."
Harry nodded. Okay, so it was a shock, but he
didn't see a reason to go hysterical. Maybe it was because he wasn't a Weasley
or something. Yes, that had to be it. "Well . . . why don't you tell me
more about her?" Harry asked gently.
Percy's face lit up. "Oh, she's beautiful!
A blonde, nice shape, nice mind . . . oh, she's everything a guy could want!
That is, if girl's were your thing, you know," he added on second thought.
"Uh huh."
"Well, she's a assistant for a
medi-wizard who specializes in 'new age technology'. Now I hear her boss is
giving two guys the chance to have their own children!"
"R-really? You . . . don't say?"
Now this was weird! Percy's fiancée was working for the very man who Harry
hoped would allow him to become a father! He thought back to the meetings he'd
had with the medi-wizard, trying to remember if he'd seen an assistant . . .
He had! A blonde woman, tall and nice
looking, a big smile, very friendly, just as Percy had described. He'd only
spoken to her once, and she'd seemed very excited to have him in her office.
Talk about a coincidence!
"Her name is Karen, and I love
her."
"That's . . . great! How long have you
two known each other?"
Percy looked embarrassed. "We . . . er .
. . dated for a month before we got engaged. We've been engaged for . . . six
months now."
Harry did a double take. "S-six MONTHS?!
And you're now just telling your family?!!"
"Well, why do you think I didn't want
anyone to know?! Look at this mess! My brother's unconscious, my Mum's passed
out, Dad's having a cow, the twins are trying to kill me with a gnome assault,
and Hermione's so worried that she'll probably end up hurting herself and Ron's
baby, and I'm stuck up a tree tossing curses at my family to keep them
away!!"
Harry tried not to laugh. "Well, you've
got a point! Look, why don't you just go down and talk to them? What's the
worst they can do?"
Percy wrinkled his nose. "They'll be all
over me. They'll ask questions . . ."
"They're your family. That's what
they're supposed to do."
" . . . Right. You're right, I'm just
acting crazy right now. Thanks for talking with me, Harry, I really appreciate
how well you're taking this."
"Sure, no problem."
Percy looked Harry over and suddenly asked,
"What are you doing tonight?"
"H-huh?"
"Are you doing anything tonight?"
Professor Snape is taking me out. Right, I
can't believe I almost forgot!
"Actually, I am. Why?"
"Oh, no reason. No reason at all."
*~*
When Harry returned to his apartment about an
hour after Percy came down from the tree, he hadn't expected to find Remus
sitting on his couch, staring blankly at the floor. He looked absolutely awful.
He had bags under his eyes, his hair was sticking up in places, and his robes
hung off of one shoulder.
Looks like I have another crisis on my
hands . . . "Remus . . . what a
wonderful surprise! What are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you. It's very
important," he said quickly, his eyes darting around the room.
Harry sat next to him and fixed his robes for
him. "What about? Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes . . . no . . . I don't know!"
Remus sighed exasperatedly. "Harry, I want to have a baby."
" . . ." Oh, God, it must be
catching!
"Not just any baby, I want Sirius's
baby. The problem is, he won't sit down and talk to me about it! And it's
driving me crazy!" he exclaimed. "Do you want to know what I dreamt
about last night? Dancing, singing babies!"
Harry laughed. "Really? And I thought I
had it bad!"
"Exactly! I didn't get any sleep last
night . . ." Remus covered his face with his hands and groaned. "I
love Sirius, a lot, but I don't understand what's the problem here . . . If
he'd just talk to me . . ."
Harry sighed and leaned back against the
couch, eyeing Remus with sympathy. Of course Remus loved Harry's godfather.
They were good together, Remus being the other half of Sirius, the (usually)
calm and collected part. Those two needed each other like living things need
air.
So what was the problem?
Harry wasn't quite sure, but one thing about
their relationship bothered him. "Remus . . . why aren't you two
married?"
Remus looked up. "Huh?"
"Married. Why haven't you two gotten
married?"
" . . . that's a good question. I wish I
could give you an answer."
"Sirius probably just fears commitment,
like most guys," replied Harry wisely. "A baby would definitely mean
commitment for him."
"What should I do?"
"You love him, he loves you, so ask him
to marry you. Show him commitment isn't a bad thing . . . then maybe he'll sit
down with you and talk about having a baby."
Remus considered for a moment, then nodded.
"That sounds good. Thanks, Harry!"
"No problem."
Remus jumped up, now grinning and full of
confidence. "I should get to work. There's a lot of planning to be done .
. . Say, Harry, could you give me that doctor's location?"
"Sure." Harry dug out a scrap piece
of paper and a pen and scribbled it down. "There you go. Good luck!"
Remus Floo-ed away, finally leaving Harry in
peace. He walked into the kitchen and stuck his head in the refrigerator,
searching for something quick and easy for his lunch. What a day it has
been, mused Harry as he pulled the makings of a sandwich from the fridge, and
I haven't even gone out with Snape tonight! He mentally winced. Wait,
that didn't sound right . . . Nevermind. I know what I mean.
Harry was still curious as to where Snape
planned to take him.
Well, whatever Snape has planned, I'm sure
it can't be THAT bad.
Can it?
*~*
Ron, who'd finally awoken after his small
shock, called just before Harry was off to Hogwarts to wish him good luck and a
safe return from "the evil clutches of Severus Snape". Harry was
secretly hoping for the same thing while he told Ron that there was nothing to
worry about.
Harry was a little late getting to the
dungeons (for some strange reason, he'd had trouble deciding what to wear . .
.), but, after a few quick glances, he didn't see the potions master anywhere
in the area. He sagged against the wall and let out a huge sigh of relief. Thank
god . . . I was afraid he'd chew me out for being late, but he can't do that if
he's late himself!
"You're ten minutes late, Potter."
Harry jumped and whirled around. Standing
there in a dark corner was Snape, giving him a sly and evil grin. "Jeez,
do you have to sneak around in the dark like that?! Oh, wait, I bet it's in
your job description, isn't it?"
Snape stepped out into the light. "You,
boy, should be more aware of your surroundings. Any half-wit could have seen me
standing there. If I were-"
"I know, I know! If you were a Death
Eater, I'd be deader than dead by now. No need for that age old lecture again,
Professor."
"Really? Evidently, you have yet to
learn the lesson-"
"So!" exclaimed Harry with fake
enthusiasm. "Where on earth are we going? I've been dying to know!"
"Don't interrupt me again, you annoying
little brat!" he snapped, feeling a headache coming on already. Why was he
doing this again? Oh, yes, embarrassment and such. He'd have to keep that in
mind if he hoped to get through the evening. "And we're going to Knockturn
Alley."
"What? What for?"
"You'll see. Now come along before we're
late."
Harry'd only been to Knockturn Alley twice-
once by mistake, and the other with Hagrid to see to the delivery of some sort
of protective beast for the Hogwarts lake after the legendary giant squid was
found washed up on shore from causes unknown. Although the twins liked to claim
that they'd done something to it, no one really believed them.
Well, the place hasn't changed a bit, thought Harry once they'd arrived. It was still dark
and creepy looking, with the oddest shops he'd even had the misfortune of
coming across. The cobblestone streets were narrow, which made it hard to weave
in and out of the throngs of people walking back and forth. Harry had to
struggle to keep up with Snape's long strides. Even at age twenty-one, he had
no desire to get lost in the alley.
Harry had been following so close to Snape
that when he stopped, Harry kept going and ran straight into him. Snape turned
around and glared. "Mind paying more attention to where you're
going?"
Harry fixed his glasses on his face.
"Sorry about that. So we're here?"
Snape rolled his eyes. "What a brilliant
assumption, Potter. Yes, we're here."
He hesitantly looked around and frowned. They
seemed to be at some sort of theater, with bright lights and red carpets.
Doormen stood at the end of the carpet, taking tickets from wizards and witches
of all races dressed in their best robes. Large groups of people stood around,
gawking, pointing, and taking pictures along with the press. Wow . . . I
didn't know that Knockturn Alley had a theater! I wonder . . .
"What's playing?" asked
Harry curiously. To have so much publicity and such a large crowd, it must
be good.
Snape grinned. "Look up, Potter. I'm
sure you'll enjoy."
Harry was almost afraid to do so, but he
slowly raised his eyes anyway.
"No . . . you didn't!!"
"Oh, I did."
Severus Snape had taken Harry to see a play
titled 'The Life and Times of Harry Potter at Hogwarts: A Musical'.
Harry began to back up. "Ohhh, no, I'm
not going in there! Imagine what would happen if people found out that I went to
a play about myself!!"
Snape grabbed him by the back of his robes.
"Oh, yes you are. You said anywhere, didn't you boy? You HAVE to go in.
Besides, I had to con a LOT of people to get these damn tickets, with it being
opening night and all."
"Although I find it very
flattering that you'd go through so much trouble for me, I can't-"
"Just keep your head down, cover your
face, whatever."
"I don't . . . this is . . . embarrassing
. . ."
"It's supposed to be. Come on."
Severus grabbed onto Harry's shoulders, pushed his head down and steered him
forward, towards the door. Harry smacked his hands over his face and hoped that
no one noticed.
They stopped at a doorman, who took their
tickets. "Oy, sir, is your companion alright there?"
"He's just fine," said Snape
smoothly, squeezing on Harry's shoulders. "The bright lights are hurting
his sensitive eyes. Nothing to worry about."
" . . . Right. Enjoy the show."
Snape chuckled under his breath as he led
them into the theater. Mission accomplished- the boy was embarrassed.
"Having fun yet?" he asked.
Harry removed his hands and glared down at
the floor. "No! Come on, let's just get to our seats. It should be darker
in there."
Snape nodded and led the way to their seats
way up in the balcony, latching onto the boy's shoulders and leading him up
several flights of stairs. He was aware that Potter was muttering something
under his breath, probably plotting some way to get revenge on him. Severus
snickered. "Don't think that I don't know what you're mumbling about down
there. I-"
Harry suddenly gasped and whirled around,
running smack into Snape's front. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, I gotta hide,
I gotta hide!" he hissed, waving his hands around crazily.
"What? What are you talking about,
boy?"
He peeked a look over his shoulder. "No
time to explain. I gotta . . ." Then Harry did the only thing he could
think of. He yanked Snape's robes apart and darted beneath them, throwing his
arms around the man's waist as the black fabric fell back around both of their
bodies. Oh, god, this is so . . . wrong! Harry thought, pressing his
left cheek against Snape's chest. But probably better than the alternative .
. . yeah, definitely . . . would cause a . . . terrible scene and all . . . hey
. . . he smells really good! Wait . . . what?
If Snape weren't a master at controlling his
emotions, his face would've been on fire at that moment. Harry Potter was
pasted up against his body, hiding underneath the security of his robes,
clutching at his waist. "Boy, what the hell are you doing?! Have
you gone mad?!"
"No! And stop talking to me, it'll look
funny!" was his muffled reply.
At that, Snape's eye began to twitch.
"And you underneath my robes like this doesn't?!"
"Whatever! Look, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley
are here. They'd recognize me even if I had my head down. Mrs. Weasley is like
that!"
Snape looked around. Sure enough, the Weasley
parents were there, and heading in his direction too. Just great . . . "You're
right. Here they come," he muttered out of the side of his mouth.
Harry grabbed onto Snape tighter, not caring
if he could breath or not. Just as long as he wasn't caught . . .
Snape forced a polite smile as the Minister
and his wife stopped to speak to him. He could see their eyes running down to
the rather large . . . bump in his robes. Severus grabbed the ends of it and
pulled them closed, causing Harry to press even tighter to him.
Arthur Weasley gave Snape a smile.
"Professor, what a surprise! I never thought I'd see you here!"
When Snape didn't immediately answer, Harry
pinched his side. "Theater . . . has always . . . been a . . ." He
paused as Harry shifted against him, " . . . a hobby . . ." Harry
shifted again, and his hips bumped against Snape's. The older man forced back a
groan and resisted the urge to smack the boy in the back of his head. " .
. . a . . . a hobby . . ." Harry then began poking at Snape in a
secretive, rather sensitive part of his stomach, snickering softly the whole
time while Snape began to shake with held back mirth. " . . . a hobby . .
. ahh . . . what was I saying again?"
Molly gave her husband a look. "Umm . .
. are you here with a date?" she gestured down to the moving body beneath
his robes.
"Yes! Yes, I am. But, she's . . . very
shy, you see, and quite busy right now."
Harry began chuckling softly. Busy? Busy?! He
knew what any normal person would be thinking at the moment . . . One would
think he'd be a better liar than that . . .
Arthur didn't want to know what she was
'busy' doing. He grabbed onto Molly's arm and pulled her along. "Have a
good night, Professor." They quickly moved away, glancing back only to
give him odd looks.
"They're gone," he muttered minutes
later.
Harry came out of his hiding place and began
laughing. "Busy? Professor, what a dirty mind you have!"
"You were the one who was jabbing at
me," he snapped angrily. "It was all your fault. And I thought I told
you never to touch me there EVER again!"
Harry knew he was referring to his ticklish
spot, which he'd found on accident one night while trying to figure out the
extent of Snape's injuries after another rough mission. He'd struggled to get
Snape to cooperate and had been forced to drug him a bit to get him to settle
down, then began prodding at his side to see if it hurt or not.
Harry had poked and poked until he reached on
particular spot. Once he poked there, Snape began snickering and quickly
slapped a hand over his mouth. He'd poked again, this time receiving a
full-blown giggle. Needless to say, he'd had some fun that night before
Madam Pomfrey had finally come along and shooed him away.
Harry chuckled. "I couldn't resist.
Sorry."
Snape gave him a withering glare. "Let's
go, boy."
When they finally reached their seats, Harry
was happy to see that it was indeed dark in the theater. He noticed that every
seat in the house was filled. I guess it makes sense. After all, it IS about
ME.
A few minutes after they'd sat down, the
lights dimmed completely and everyone went quiet. Harry slumped down in his
chair and waited for it to start.
It began all right, with Dumbledore,
McGonagall and Hagrid dropping him off at the Dursely's and went on to describe
his life in the cupboard. Harry vaguely wondered how the playwright, whoever he
or she was, had found out the information. He sure hadn't told the public about
his childhood, and he really didn't think any of his friends would give out
anything like that.
Then the singing and dancing began, and Harry
was not amused.
Could anyone say sappy? Cheesy? CORNY?!
When a few older women next to him began
crying into colorful handkerchiefs at a particularly 'heart-wrenching' song
being belted out by the play-Harry, the real Boy Who Lived sank down even
further in his chair and groaned, much to the amusement of Snape.
The play didn't end quick enough for Harry,
although he was glad that most of the dealings with Voldemort were left out,
for the audience's sake, no doubt. The playwright stuck close to the social
aspects of his seven years at the school, which led Harry to believe that the
mystery writer had been a student at Hogwarts, most likely in his same year.
When he found this person and hunted him down
. . . there would be hell to pay!
As the final song was sung, and the lights
came back on, Harry grumbled to Snape, "I'm gonna sue! No one asked for my
permission to make that terrible excuse of a play! They must've violated some
sort of wizard law . . ."
Snape snickered almost happily. "I'm
glad you enjoyed yourself. Let's try to beat the crowds, shall we?"
Harry once again lowered his head, and Snape
began guiding him through the lingering groups of theater patrons and down the
stairs, onto the main floor. When they were less than ten feet from the door,
and it LOOKED as if they were free and clear, Harry suddenly tripped and fell
flat on his face, nearly taking an unsuspecting Severus and a few other
bystanders with him.
Several kind witches and wizards leaned down
to help him up, and then someone screamed,
"BLOODY HELL!! YOU'RE HARRY
POTTER!!!!!"
Snape yanked Harry up by the back of his
robes and set him on his feet. Cameras began clicking and flashing and people
began closing in. Keeping a firm grasp on Harry's robes, Severus shoved the
people aside and took off out of the theater, ducking into a crowded, smoky
pub. They quickly went all to the very back of the place, and waiting to see if
anyone had followed.
When no one came after them, Snape whirled on
Harry. "Brilliant move, Potter! Now our faces will be all over the papers
in the morning!"
Harry rubbed the side of his face that had
hit the floor and glared. "Well, Professor, if you hadn't stepped on
the back of my robes, then-"
"If you'd walked a little
faster-"
"If you hadn't been pushing me so
fast and hard-"
"If you weren't so clumsy and uncoordinated-"
"If YOU hadn't taken me to there in
the first place-"
"If YOU hadn't baited me into coming on another
date with you-"
"This isn't a date!! And you could've
said NO! You're a fully grown man, you know!"
Snape sneered. "It's nice that you've
noticed."
Harry blushed. "I didn't mean it THAT
way!"
"Oh, didn't you? You were the one who
hid under my robes, then started touching me in inappropriate places and rubbing
yourself against-"
"I was not!" cried Harry, shocked
and embarrassed. "I was nervous!"
Severus threw his hands up and growled.
"I can't believe I'm standing here bickering with you like some child
about things that cannot be changed! What we should be worrying about is
what will be in the papers tomorrow."
"What do you mean?"
The older man glared and sat down at the bar.
Harry plopped down on the stool next to him and attempted to cover his scar
with his hair, brushing his dark strands this way and that until it was in the
perfect position. Snape rolled his eyes at his display and continued.
"What I mean, Potter, is that they're going to assume that we were
there together."
"But we were."
"Don't be so obtuse. I mean, there
together as in a date."
"Which it most certainly was not!"
"Yes, we've covered that already."
Severus glared again at Harry's seemingly innocent expression. "Don't tell
me you didn't notice the . . . disgusting little hints dropped throughout that
infernal play?"
Harry shook his head and frowned.
"Actually, I was trying NOT to pay attention. I was too busy trying to
become one with the seat to notice anything else. Hints about what?"
"The two of us, of course."
" . . ."
"You are the most infuriating . .
." A deep intake of breath and a quick release. "Pay attention!
Whomever this playwright is kept insinuating that we had more than a
teacher-student relationship going on during your last years at Hogwarts."
Blink, blink. Blink. " . . . really?
Well, that's bloody-"
"Ridiculous?"
Harry snorted. "Took the word right out
of my mouth. It's so absurd that it's funny!"
"Well, har, har."
"Wait . . . so you don't know who wrote
that thing?"
Snape shook his head. "No. The person
chose to remain anonymous. It was right there on the ticket."
"HAD to have been an inside job,"
muttered Harry thoughtfully. Who else would've known every detail like that?
Certainly not an outsider.
"You make it sound as if this is all
some sort of conspiracy," Snape said, giving Harry a Look.
"Well, it could be for all we
know!"
"Whoever wrote the play isn't important
right now. The papers-"
Harry nodded understandingly. "Will be
all over the story. Well, we can't do anything about that either, so now . .
."
Snape scowled but didn't reply.
"Is that it? The end to my wonderful
evening?" asked Harry sarcastically.
"Actually, I could use a drink.
Something stronger than what this place carries." Severus then seemed to
reconsider. He got off of his stood and towered over Harry. "You can
return to wherever it is that you came from now. I don't need you to come along
with me."
"Aww, why not? I could use a drink,
too!"
Snape looked skeptical. "Can you hold
your liquor, boy?"
"Of course I can! What do you think I
am, some sort of sissy?"
*~*
After three glasses of wine, Harry was drunk.
Snape watched out of amusement as the younger
man struggled to keep his head from slipping out of his palms and striking the
table while he downed another glass of wine.
"Snape, this stuff's bloody good,"
he muttered, picking up the wineglass and peering at the label on the bottle.
He squinted, tilted his head to he side, then giggled. "Too bad I can't
read right now, or else I'd remember the name of this stuff!"
Snape sipped on this own beverage and leaned
back in the wooden chair in which he sat. Obviously the boy had lied about
being able to drink -he was already plastered out of his mind. I suspect
that he's never had anything other than Butterbeer in his life. How pathetic.
"And this place," continued
Harry in a daze, looking around with wide eyes, "this place is COOL!
Weird, but it's COOL!" Harry giggled again as a male elf, scantily dressed
in what Muggles liked to call hot pants, walked by with a tray and patted him
on the head.
They were in some sort of dance club, where
the waiters and dancers were attractive male and female elves who, every so
often, pulled particularly lonely looking, drunk wizards out onto the dance
floor and began grinding against them to the beat of some techno music. No
doubt trying to steal the poor, unsuspecting wizard's money, Snape suspected.
Severus only frequented the establishment for
their beverages when he was in the need of something strong and did his best to
ignore the pretty magical beings who flaunted themselves around the place. One
sharp glare usually did away with any advances that he received, although they
were few and far between.
I can't believe I'm sitting in a place
like this with Potter, Snape thought
in mild disgust, glaring at the younger boy as he gawked at more male elves as
they walked by. At least there's a plus side to this. If he's drunk out of
his mind, I'm sure he'll have no difficulty asking me whatever it was he
started to the other night.
Before Snape could open his mouth, four male
elves with insanely long, shiny hair grabbed onto Harry's arms and began
pulling him out of his seat and over to the dance floor, giggling and laughing
in their strange magical voices.
"Look, Snape," exclaimed Harry,
"they want to dance with me! How nice!"
Snape sighed warily and set down his cup. It
was apparent that he was going to have to take control of the situation.
Getting to his feet, he said firmly, "He'll not be dancing tonight, so go
bother someone else."
They pouted and reluctantly let go of Harry's
arms, each pausing to give him a kiss on the cheek before leaving. Harry
groaned quite loudly. "Aw, Snape, they just wanted to have some fun! You
always have to go spoil everything."
Severus took hold of Harry's arms and
muttered, "You'll thank me in the morning when you find your purse as full
as it was before you left home. Let's go, you're wasted."
Snape dragged Harry over to the entrance
where a fireplace, connected to the Floo network, was located while feigning
off elves as they tried to flirt with an ever so willing Harry. He couldn't
understand why they just kept coming and coming. Was it because
he was THE Harry Potter, or was there something about the boy that he'd missed
. . .?
Snape snorted, looking down at the boy as he
stumbled over his own two feet and laughed. Not likely. He's about as
attractive as a . . . as a . . .
At the moment, with that goofy grin on his
face, his hair sticking up more than usual and the drunken gleam in his eye,
Harry looked almost . . . enchanting?
Elves were well known for being attracted to
beautiful people, both inside and out. Maybe Harry was . . .?
Snape shivered in disgust and quickened his
pace. Ridiculous! Stupid, stupid, stupid . . . Harry Potter did not look
enchanting and was not beautiful, and most certainly not while he was
drunk. NO one looked enchanting and beautiful while they were drunk.
He stopped before the fireplace, grabbed some
Floo powder and tossed it into the bright flames. "Harry Potter's
residence!"
The fire flickered, but nothing happened.
Harry snickered and leaned against Snape's
side, grabbing onto his arm tightly. "Silly Snape, I'm not stupid! There's
a spell protecting my fireplace. Not just anyone can waltz right in, ya
know."
"Are you competent enough to get
yourself home, Potter?" demanded Snape, trying futilely to yank himself
out of the young man's grasp.
Harry didn't answer, but suddenly clutched at
his stomach with one hand and his head with the other. "Uhh . . . I don't
feel so good . . . think I'm gonna hurl . . ."
But instead of throwing up, he passed out,
right into Severus's arms.
*~*
The only thing Harry was aware of the next
morning was his splitting headache. He moaned loudly and rolled over onto his
side, clutching at his forehead. What in the world was wrong with him?
Oh, yeah . . . he'd gotten drunk. For the
first time in his life, he'd gotten drunk.
And with his old potions master, of all
people.
Oh, the horrors . . . God, my life is pathetic.
Harry grabbed the pillow from underneath his
head and began strangling himself with it. He could only imagine what had
happened that night. Snape had probably taken advantage of the situation,
luring a drunken Harry to his dungeons and trying out new potions on him as if
he were some sort of guinea pig. He was afraid to open his eyes. Would he have
an extra ear somewhere? Would he be missing a few fingers, have hair growing
out of the most obscene places on his body . . .?
Harry told himself that he was being silly,
and that it was the hangover talking. Snape wouldn't do anything like that. He
wasn't a monster . . . right?
He lifted the pillow from his face and took
in a deep breath.
Wait, what was that smell? It was slightly
familiar . . .
Suddenly Harry came to a realization- he
wasn't in his apartment, wasn't in his own bed, he hadn't been strangling
himself with his own pillow . . .
Then where the hell was he?!
Harry quickly opened his eyes, only to shut
them again. "Damn . . . why are the lights so bright?"
"The lights are never bright in the
dungeon, boy. You should know that."
Who? thought Harry. Snape?!
Now he knew why the smell was so familiar!
He'd inhaled the scent when he'd ducked under Snape's . . . robes . . .
Suddenly Harry turned bright red. Can't believe I DID that! I'm such an
idiot!
"Drink this," commanded Snape,
pressing a vial full of clear liquid up to Harry's lips. "It'll make you
feel better."
He anxiously gulped down the fluid and,
almost instantly, most of the symptoms of his hangover were gone. Harry opened
his eyes and a fuzzy image of Severus Snape leaning over him came into view.
"Er . . . morning there Professor."
Satisfied that his potion had done its job,
Snape got off the bed and leaned against a wall with his arms crossed over his
chest. "Actually, it's noon, Potter. Lunch time."
"NOON?! WHAT?!"
"You passed out at the club last night,
and I was forced to bring you here. Unfortunately, I did not have a hangover
remedy on hand, so I had to brew one during my lunch break . . . which is
almost over, may I remind you."
Harry leapt up off of the bed and grabbed his
robes that sat folded on the edged of the bed. He jabbed his arms into their
appropriate holes while forcing his shoes onto his feet. "Thanks, I'll
repay you later. Sorry about that!"
Snape eyed him with little interest.
"What's your rush, boy?"
"I'm sure Sirius or Ron is worried about
me. I didn't check in with either of them last night . . ."
"I didn't know they were your
keepers."
Harry glared. "They worry about me,
especially since I brought up . . ." He winced. Oops! I STILL haven't
asked . . .
"Brought up what?"
Harry dashed out of the room, heading over to
Snape's fireplace. "I'll tell you on Saturday when I take you out
again!" he called over his shoulder as he grabbed some Floo powder.
Snape gapped. " . . . WHAT?! No, no you
don't, we're not making a habit of this, do you hear me?! Potter?
POTTER?!!"
He was already gone.
*~*
Harry barely had his foot out of the
fireplace when Sirius roared, "HARRY JAMES POTTER, WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?!!"
Sirius had stopped by Harry's apartment than
Monday morning to speak to him about the front-page article in the paper, and
had been very surprised to see that he wasn't there. Never before had Harry not
returned home after going out at night, so Sirius had immediately expected the
worst.
That Severus Snape had blasted his godson
into tiny pieces.
But Harry was just fine, coming out of the
fireplace, looking extremely unkempt, face flushed and hair sticking up
all over the place. Not to mention that his clothes were horribly mussed and
wrinkled.
Remus, who'd decided to accompany his lover,
grinned. "Harry! You look as if you just came back from a much needed
shagging."
Harry laughed weakly. "Well . . ."
Sirius frowned. "Don't encourage him,
Remus! And you, Harry, I can't believe you went out and slept with some
guy-"
"I didn't! Jeez, can I get sit down
before you ask me a million questions?" Harry plopped down on his couch.
He threw an arm over his face and sighed. "Ah, that's better."
"Where were you then, Harry?"
questioned his godfather angrily.
" . . . at Snape's," Harry replied
truthfully. What else could he say? He was no good at lying to Sirius.
"Bastard!" cried Sirius at the top
of his lungs as he waved around the crumpled bit of newspaper he held in his
tightened fist. "That BASTARD!! I-"
"Not so loud," whimpered Harry
weakly. "I've still got a killer headache, despite that hangover potion
Snape gave me . . ."
Whoops. Judging by the looks on Remus and
Sirius's faces, that probably wasn't the best thing to say . . .
Remus held Sirius back before he lunged at
Harry. "Explain yourself! Explain RIGHT NOW!!" he bellowed.
"I got a little tipsy last night, that's
all. No need to go off the deep end . . ."
"That Snape is a dirty pedophile, Harry!
I read the article in the morning paper. It says that you two were out on a
date last night, at some play together and that you and Snape had a fling while
at Hogwarts."
"First of all, Sirius, for him to be a
pedophile, I would have to be a child, which I am not. Second of all,"
continued Harry, "it was not a date, just a . . . friendly outing and
third, there was no 'fling'. Some person wrote a silly little play about me and
HINTED that something more might have occurred between him and me because of
our missions. That's all."
Remus felt Sirius relaxing in his grip and
let him go. "I believe you, Harry. I take it you intended to ask Snape
your question last night, but-"
"Things got a little out of hand. But
I've got another chance. We're going out again on Saturday, my treat."
"I don't know what's gotten into you,
Harry," moaned Sirius. "You're getting drunk, hanging around with
lowlifes like Snape, and you want to have his baby . . . I . . . can't help but
feel that I've failed you in some way." He sniffled pathetically.
Harry rolled his eyes and gave his godfather
a disbelieving look. "Oh, no you don't! Don't go trying to make me feel
guilty! It won't work."
Sirius threw up his arms in the defeat.
"Well, hell! What am I supposed to do?"
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Now if you
two don't mind, I'd like to get some rest. Please?"
The two reluctantly left, but not before
Sirius thoroughly chewed him out for getting drunk the night before, and with
Snape, of all people. Harry trudged into his bedroom and flopped face down on
his bed, kicking off his shoes and tossing aside his robes. Not bothering to
take off the rest of his clothes, Harry snuggled beneath a thick fuzzy blanket
and closed his eyes tight.
It took Harry a while longer to fall asleep
than it usually did.
Where was Snape's soothing scent when you
needed it?
Author's Note: Expect about one more chapter
before Harry pops the big question. I won't make you wait much longer, I
promise! Also, I'll let you know who
wrote the play about Harry later, although I think it's pretty obvious.
[1] Let's say that Ron and Percy work in the
mornings on Sundays. J
[2] Er, I hadn't planned the Percy thing, but
let's see where it'll take us, okay?
NEXT CHAPTER: A week passes and Harry treats Snape to another night
out, showing him the 'finer' points of Muggle society. Draco gets suspicious,
Oliver is catching on and . . . what? Harry's fallen in love?!