*~* Baby, Oh Baby! *~*

Chapter Ten

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There is no need for you to tell that insane Godfather of yours about our decision right now,” Snape asserted as he eyed the paper bag that Harry was carrying into the kitchen, trailing behind him slowly.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call him names, and I think we should,” said Harry, placing the bag on the table in the kitchen. “I mean, he’ll bitch and moan at first, but once he realizes that there isn’t anything he can do about it, he’ll get over it. And the sooner he gets over it, the better.” Harry produced two plates and forks out of nowhere, along with two mugs filled with tea. “After all, I would like to have him give me away at the wedding, since you insist on me being the woman here.”

Snape opened the bag and pulled out its contents. White boxes. “I hope you’re ready for the explosion that’s sure to come after we tell him. What is this?”

“Chinese food.”

“Chinese?” He immediately began tearing at the boxes with interest.

“Who would have guessed? Severus Snape, Chinese food fiend.” [1]

Harry was about to dig in when the doorbell rang. “I’ll be back in a sec.” He leisurely strolled over to the front door and looked out of the peep hole. There were Ron and Hermione.

Well . . . they’re here . . . might as well tell them . . .

Harry took a deep breath, opened the door and grinned. “Hey guys, you won’t believe what I have to tell you . . .” With a hesitant grin, he stepped back to let his friends inside, closing the door behind them. As they seated themselves on the couch, he took a deep breath, trying to decide the best way to handle the situation.

He was spared the need to say anything as Severus came out of the kitchen and into the living room with a box of Chinese food and a pair of chopsticks in his hand. “Who was it?” Then he caught sight of the couple in the living room. “Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,” he said stiffly, sending Harry a questioning glance.

Harry gave him a very significant look that said, ‘I’m going to tell them’, which sent Snape quickly in the other direction, towards the bedroom. Much to Hermione and Ron’s shock, Harry practically leapt on the man, dragging him into the living room and forcing him to sit down across from them.

“You are NOT leaving me with this!” Harry said, plopping down next to Severus.

“If you insist.” He said rather nonchalantly, digging his chopsticks into what turned out to be noodles. Expertly manipulating the wood sticks, he was able to places a good amount of food into his mouth without trouble.

Harry was momentarily distracted by Severus’ display, but then turned and assessed his friend’s confused faces.

“Harry, what is HE doing here?” demanded Ron angrily, fixing the man with a glare. Severus just raised a eyebrow at him coolly in response and continued to eat.

“You see . . . well, Hermione, I did tell you that I’d asked Severus . . . well, you know . . .” Harry blushed. Ron looked a little confused, then widened his eyes. Why hadn’t his wife told him?

Hermione nodded. “But from the sound of things, it hadn’t gone as planned . . .” But Snape was in Harry’s apartment now, sitting there, eating as if nothing was going on, and as if he had every right to be sitting in Harry’s living room devouring Muggle food that Harry had more than likely paid for.

Harry couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of Snape eating with the chopsticks. He looked so graceful using them, as if he’d been born with a pair in his hands. And the way his tongue was darting out to meet the noodles that hung from the sticks . . . the same tongue that had taken over . . . ravished his mouth just a couple of hours ago . . .

Someone help him. He was getting turned on, sitting there watching Severus eat with a pair of chopsticks. But after that little . . . er, display in the kitchen earlier, he was now very interested in the sexual side of Severus Snape. Even packing, he’d had a hard time keeping his eyes off of the man as he bent over to put things in boxes, or to lift them up- without the use of magic. He’d removed his robes, rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt . . . muscles in his arms that Harry hadn’t seen, or maybe noticed, suddenly became very interesting as they worked strenuously.

Harry suspected that Severus’ temporary abandonment of magic was all a show, to get Harry flustered and worked up.

And boy, had it worked.

Harry knew his face was on fire, and he forced his concentration back to his friends who were now looking at him suspiciously.

“You two are doing it, aren’t you?” Ron asked harshly.

. . . doing it . . .? Oh god, I hope we will sometime soon . . . “Er . . . doing what?”

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. “The baby, Harry! You’re going to have the baby together!”

“Oh! Oh, yeah, we are!”

Ron shivered. All he could think about was ugly Snape-babies infesting and taking over the planet . . . “Are you sure you want to do this, mate?” He glared at Snape, who seemed off in his own little world, eating food out of a white box with sticks. It didn’t even look like the man cared one bit what was going on, or the distress that Harry seemed to be under at the moment. The bastard . . .

“Yes, Ron,” Harry said. “I’m going to do this. However, there is more . . .”

“More? MORE?” Ron demanded. “What is this bastard making you do, Harry?”

Severus finally spoke up. “While I appreciate your defending Harry’s honor, Mr. Weasely, I ask that you refrain from calling me names, especially those that do not apply to me. I’m quite certain that my parents were wedded when I was born.” With that, he continued to eat.

The three younger adults sat frozen in various degrees of shock. Harry and Hermione were surprised by Snape’s use of Harry’s first name, and . . . I appreciate your defending Harry’s honor? Where the hell had all of that come from? Ron’s left eye began to twitch in anger, until Hermione began rubbing his leg to soothe him.

Harry finally broke the silence. “Well, guys, you see . . . I . . . Severus and I . . .” His eye caught Snape eating again, and he shifted uncomfortably.

“Why do you keep calling him Severus?” Ron spat, his face red.

“Well, there’s a good reason for that . . . besides the fact that he’s about to be the father of my child. It’s like this . . . we . . . we’re, um, uh . . . how can I put this? You see . . .” Harry fidgeted, not knowing how to drop the bomb and control the damage that was sure to come at the same time. Suddenly his head snapped around and he glared at Snape. “Well, help me out here, will you?!”

The man’s shoulder’s began to shake and a smirk appeared on his face.

“Oh, I bet you think this is funny, don’t you?” snapped Harry.

“Watching you babble incoherently has recently become a favorite pass-time of mine,” said Severus, a noodle sliding into his mouth. “Since you do it so much.” The older man’s tongue darted out to lick up the bit of sauce that lingered on the corner of his mouth, causing Harry to gulp.

I can’t take anymore of this! “And will you stop EATING that? God . . .”

“What’s wrong, Harry? Getting a bit . . . uncomfortable?” One black eyebrow rose suggestively.

Harry’s face nearly caught on fire, Ron leapt to his feet and Hermione’s mouth formed a tiny ‘O’ as she tried to keep the blood from rushing to her face. What had she and Ron stumbled into? Were Harry and Snape having a little . . . fling? No. That’s ridiculous . . . isn’t it?

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY BEST FRIEND LIKE THAT!! AND WHAT ON EARTH DOES HE MEAN BY THAT ANYWAY?!” Ron roared.

“Ron, Severus and I are getting married!” Harry rushed out, avoiding the gaze of his friends.

That certainly took the wind out of the red-head’s sails. After a brief period of staring at Harry in astonishment, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and Ron passed out, crumpling to the floor. Harry was immediately at his friend’s side, shaking him a little roughly and calling out his name. Severus was just laughing softly to himself.

Hermione got to her feet, rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her swollen stomach. “I swear . . . you’d think that he was the pregnant one, with all of the fainting that he’s been doing lately!” She had just whipped out her wand when Snape said,

“You can put your wand away, Mrs. Weasley. I do believe that he’s coming to. And unless you want to snap your friend’s neck, Harry, I suggest you stop shaking him.”

Harry blushed and let go of Ron, causing his head to hit the floor with a thunk.

“OUCH! Harry . . . what the hell? Where am I?” Ron asked, rubbing the back of his head.

“On the floor in my living room, you dumbass,” Harry said affectionately, then grinned. “You FAINTED.”

Ron smiled sheepishly. “Oh, that would explain it then. Someone help me off this floor.”

Hermione helped her husband up, eyeing him carefully. He stood there, massaging his head and grinning as if Harry hadn’t just given him the shock of his life. “You seem to be in a good mood,” she said slowly, “given what Harry just said.”

“Said? What? What did Harry say? Is that why I fainted?”

There was a collective sigh from the group, followed by even more snickers from Severus.

“Ron, Severus and I are getting married, so that we can raise this baby together. And don’t you faint again!” begged Harry nervously.

“ . . . MARRIED?! WHAT THE . . . HARRY ARE YOU CRAZY?!!”

“Ron, please!”

“Hermione, you talk some sense into him right now or I’ll . . .” said Ron, furiously, on the brink of explosion. Ron fully expected his wife to reason with Harry until he realized what a mistake this all was, and showed this by whipping his head around and pinning an angry gaze on his wife.

Instead of immediately lecturing Harry, Hermione appeared to be thoughtfully considering the matter, mentally weighing out the pros and cons of Harry’s decision. This did not sit well at all with Ron.

“HERMIONE!! WHAT ON EARTH IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT?! YOU TELL HIM RIGHT NOW-”

“Ron, please!” Hermione interrupted swiftly. She turned to face an extremely nervous Harry and a slightly amused Severus Snape. “Could you two . . . excuse us? I’d like to talk to Ron privately.”

“Er . . . sure, Hermione. C’mon, Severus, we can eat in the kitchen while they . . . talk this out.” After sparing Ron one last desperate, pleading glance, he ushered Severus into the kitchen where the older man calmly took a seat at the table.

“Sit down and eat,” Snape ordered curtly, his dark eyes following Harry’s frame as he paced around the kitchen, “before you wear a hole in the floor.”

“I can’t eat at a time like this!” huffed Harry, tossing his hands up into the air. Despite his words, he plopped down next to Severus at the table and took out a box of his own. Using a fork, he dug into some noodles, simply going through the motions as his mind wandered back to the conversation he’d had in the living room. What could Hermione be discussing with Ron? Did she approve? Disapprove?

“The opinion of your friends matters very much to you,” Severus said evenly.

Harry snapped out of his thoughts, slurping up a noodle. “Well, yeah. Don’t tell me you just figured that one out.”

Severus glared. “Don’t get smart with me. And I didn’t just notice. I’ve always known. However, I think you will find that if you continuously look to your peers for approval, they will more than likely let you down some day, in some way.”

Harry frowned. “Are you saying that I shouldn’t consult others when I make important decisions in my life?”

“Your decisions are just that. They are yours, and yours alone. To seek some form of approval from people who have absolutely nothing to do with the matter at hand is . . .”

“Is what?” Harry asked quietly.

“Potter, I know that for all of your life, others have made choices for you. Dumbledore, Black and Lupin . . . even me.” Severus paused to take a deep breath. “Well, you are quite grown now, and one would think that you would prefer to have independent thoughts.”

“If I didn’t have independent thoughts, then I wouldn’t have asked you to do this with me,” Harry shot back, roughly slamming the carton on the table. “And I don’t know what happened to you that made you so cynical about people and relationships, but really, don’t blame it on me! And as for my decisions having nothing to do with my friends and family, you’re wrong because-” Harry stopped in mid-rant, as if something had dawned on him. “Well.”

“What?” Severus smirked. “You know that I’m right.”

“No, you’re not right,” Harry quickly put in. “I should talk to the important people in my life about life-altering decisions, but I shouldn’t let them change my mind if I’m really adamant about doing something. And I haven’t.”

“ . . . I suppose you’re correct there. You are rather headstrong.”

“I know.” Harry looked down at the noodles he’d been eating and began picking at them. “Hey, what was that all about, anyway?”

“What was what all about?”

“The noodle thing, of course! You did that on purpose!” accused Harry with a tiny smile on his face. “You did, didn’t you?”

Severus looked away innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, right!”

“I was just trying to eat my meal.”

“Uh huh. So what was up with that thing you said earlier? Something about my honor?”

“ . . .”

“I see. You like to provoke me.”

“As of late, I’ve noticed that you have the most amusing reactions to provocation,” Snape said, getting to his feet and moving to the refrigerator. “It’s your entire fault, anyway. You didn’t have to drag me into there.”

“Well, sorry, but we’re entering a commitment here. I just thought that you’re want to be involved.”

Severus shot Harry a glare over his shoulder, then turned his attention back to the refrigerator.

“Hey, what are you looking for anyway?”

“Ice cream. Do you have any?”

Harry blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I said-”

“I know what you said!” Harry stood up and moved Severus out of the way. “First of all, ice cream would be in the freezer,” he told the older man, opening the top part of the fridge. “And as a matter of fact, I do! Mmmm, Neopolitan.” He removed the box as Severus conjured up two bowls and spoons.

“What is this Napoleon?” Snape suspiciously asked. “Napoleon was a man, not an ice cream.”

Harry laughed. “I said Neopolitan, not Napoleon. And it’s just three flavors in one box. See?” He pulled back the lid to show him.

“Hmm. Why is it called-”

“I have no idea.”

Unknown to the two, Hermione and Ron were peeking into the kitchen, straining their ears to hear the conversation in the other room. Ron was horrified- how could Harry be acting so chummy with SNAPE?! None of this was making any sense. He gave his wife a look that conveyed his thoughts, but she just smiled back.

Hermione didn’t bother to hide her grin as she stepped into the kitchen, interrupting the little scene on domestic bliss that Snape and Harry had been creating. “I hope I’m not . . . intruding on anything,” she said, forcing back a giggle.

Harry, who’d been digging his spoon into the overly frozen ice cream, jumped. His sudden movement sent a chunk of ice cream flying across the room, nearly hitting Severus in the middle of his chest, and would have if he hadn’t stepped out of the way at the last moment.

“Umm . . . oops!” Harry laughed. “Sorry Severus.”

Snape gave Harry a withering look, and then waved his wand at the already melting ice cream on the floor, making it disappear. He snatched the ice cream box away from Harry and began to eat straight out of it, seemingly ignorant of the other people in the kitchen.

“So, er . . . how are you two with this?” Harry asked nervously.

Ron glared at his wife. “Well, ‘Mione thinks that this is a great idea,” he spat.

“It is! My main argument against Harry having the operation was that the baby wouldn’t have two loving parents,” Hermione rationalized. “But if he and . . . Severus are going to be married, and if that’s what Harry really, really wants-”

The man in question began nodding furiously.

“- Then that’s fine. I see no reason why you shouldn’t get married. Congratulations, Harry!” The two friends shared an eager hug.

Ron’s right eye began to twitch. “I can’t believe this! I can’t believe this! My own wife, turning against me! I can’t believe that you’re going to marry Severus Snape! That greasy, snarky, arse licking pedophile!”

“Hey, watch it!” Harry shouted. Snape looked on the verge of breaking, his face twisted in an angry scowl. Good thing his hands were busy with the ice cream, or else they would’ve been wrapped around his wand by now . . . “How dare you come into my home and call my future husband names?!”

“Well, I haven’t called him a thing that he actually isn’t!” Ron retorted, sticking his nose into the air arrogantly.

“Grow up, Ron! I don’t want to fight with my best friend. Besides . . .” Harry glanced over and caught Snape’s eye. “I’m not asking for your permission here. I’m going to do this whether you damn well like it or not! I just thought that you would’ve liked to be informed, that’s all!”

“And we appreciate the fact that you feel that it’s very important for you to tell us things like this,” Hermione quickly added, seeing that she would have to be the mediator here, since all Snape was doing was shooting death glares at Ron. “Don’t we, Ron?”

“Er . . . sure. Whatever. Look, man, is there anything that I can do to change your mind?” Ron asked desperately. “I just don’t want you to make a big mistake and then end up regretting it later.”

“Thanks for your concern, but I can take care of myself.”

“I know. It’s just . . .” Ron sighed in defeat. “Well . . . then I guess I should congratulate you. So . . . I am going to be the best man?”

*~*

And now for a brief interlude . . .

“Wow, Sirius, that was . . .”

“Amazingly beautiful, Remus?”

“Well, yes, but . . .”

“You’re not regretting it, are you?!”

“NO! Of course not! You . . . you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

A satisfied smirk. “Well, of course I have! I swear . . . this is the best idea I’ve ever had!”

“It most certainly is! Then again, that may not be saying much, considering all of the incredibly stupid ideas that you’ve had over the years . . .”

“Oi!” A playful swat on Remus’ behind. “That wasn’t very nice! Now turn over, it’s my turn to do you!”

*~*

“So why did you two come over here anyway?” Harry asked, giving Ron a bowl of ice cream before handing the whole box back to Severus. The four were sitting around the kitchen table, although the Snape had distanced himself slightly from the others.

While Hermione happily ate her treat, Ron stared at it as if it were a bowl of roaches. He shivered and gently shoved his bowl towards Hermione, who eagerly snatched it up and dumped his ice cream into her own bowl. Like he wanted to eat anything after Snape. The spoon that Harry had used to scoop the treat up was, he’d noticed, the same one that Severus had been using to eat, and he wanted absolutely no spit transfer going on. Besides, it bothered him enough that Harry and his wife were eating it . . .

“Oh, I almost forgot in all of this excitement!” Hermione exclaimed, eyes sparkling. “You’re not going to believe this, Harry!”

“What? Is it something about the baby?”

“Nope! Ron got a promotion!”

Harry grinned. “Hey, that’s great! Congratulations!”

Ron blushed. “Yeah, well, just so you know, Percy had something to do with it. I know it!”

“Oh, and here I thought that you actually did a competent job at the Ministry,” teased Harry.

“Ack! Now you’re beginning to sound like Snape! And that’s my point- I don’t do anything at work, so I really don’t see how-”

Hermione glared at her husband. “You should not be so willing to admit something like that, Ronald Weasely! Maybe if you’d worked harder, then you wouldn’t be sitting here pouting about your brother’s kindness!” Ron winced and edged away from his wife.

Snape was smirking evilly at Ron, obviously enjoying his discomfort. Serves him right!

“What do you mean, kindness?” questioned Harry after downing a large spoonful of ice cream.

“I bet that Percy was just thinking about the extra expenses that we’d face after the baby arrived, so he probably recommended Ron for the promotion and the big pay raise, so that we’d be able to handle everything. Although I really don’t know why he’d do that for the brother who teased him for being a Prefect and Head Boy.”

“Hey, it wasn’t only me! The twins did it too!”

“Anyway, Harry, we just wanted to invite you to the celebration dinner tomorrow night we’re having at our home,” Hermione said excitedly. “Everyone will be there! Even Bill and Charlie.”

“Really? It would be nice to see everyone together again. Sure, I’ll be there! What time?”

“Seven. And don’t be late, Harry! I’ll send an owl over to remind you a few hours before it starts just so you don’t forget.”

“I swear, Hermione, you’re sounding like Ron’s mother more and more everyday!” Harry laughed. “Besides, I don’t think you need to go through all of that trouble.”

“He’s correct, Mrs. Weasley. You do not have to send an owl.”

Everyone turned to look at Severus in surprise.

“Er . . . she doesn’t?” asked Harry.

“No. I will make sure that we are on time.”

“Um, we?”

“I am invited, aren’t I, Mrs. Weasley?” Snape asked smoothly.

“O-of course! The more the merrier!”

Harry looked at Snape suspiciously. What was he doing? I thought that Severus wouldn’t come near a pack of Weasleys if his life depended on it! He must be up to something!

“Oh, man, Harry, this is perfect!” shouted Ron suddenly. Harry and Hermione stared at him as if he’d gone crazy. “Excellent! That would be the perfect time to tell the family the news about you and Snape!”

“Ron . . . why would you want me to do that?”

“Because that’ll take the attention off of me! I can see it now- Mom’ll be hovering over me all night, kissing and hugging me, Dad’ll be slapping me on the back over and over again, the twins will find some way to terrorize me, Ginny, Bill and Charlie will tease the hell outta me, and Percy . . . damn it, he’ll be all smug, the little bugger! But if you drop your bomb on them, they won’t have time to give me a second thought!”

Harry shook his head. “How do you know that they’ll act like that? And I thought that you wanted some attention.”

“Oh, well, I did, way back when! But I don’t want to have to go through that again! It was like that when Mione and I told them about the baby.”

“Er . . . if Hermione doesn’t mind . . .”

“Oh, go on Harry! That’ll save me the trouble of finding some entertainment!”

*~*

Author’s Note: A virtual cookie goes to anyone who can guess what Sirius and Remus are up to! : ) Oh, and don’t forget to leave me a review as a birthday gift! And the next chapter bits are back. I find them very helpful in reminding me what I meant to write next.

Next chapter: We finally find out what happened to Remus and Sirius, Draco and Oliver try to patch things up, and the Weasely dinner party. What happens when you mix one Severus Snape, one Harry Potter, and a bunch of Weasleys? I dunno, if anyone has any ideas, they would be greatly appreciated!