A TRIBUTE TO
JESUS
CHRIST SUPERSTAR
So it’s Easter time, and we all know what that means…Time to listen to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Jesus Christ Superstar, the original rock opera. And if you’re in my family, it’s time to develop your dream cast of characters for the musical. Every year we do this, and every year it’s different. I remember the all black cast, featuring George Clinton as King Herod and Luther Vandross as Pontius Pilate (although my mom eventually vetoed that, pointing out that his improvised vocalizations would be inappropriate in some of the more dramatic scenes, e.g. “D-d-d-d-die if you want to!”). That was one of the best casts. But I won’t be home for Easter this year, so I’m going to miss this interesting part of the holiday. So I suppose I’ll do a couple of dream casts myself.
First things first…
Judas “God! I’ll never know why you chose me for your crime.”
This clearly would be Layne Staley, lead singer of Alice in Chains. He definitely could play a tortured soul. Pity he’s dead. Instead, I’d suggest Foo Fighter Dave Grohl. Inferior to Layne, but he seems as though he’d be a compelling actor, which happens to be important in a musicals.
Jesus “To conquer death you only have to die.”
I read an interview Ben Stiller did with Chris Cornell, in which he told Chris that, in his dream cast of Jesus Christ Superstar, Chris would be Jesus. It’s so perfect. So very perfect. Ideally, it would be a Badmotorfinger-era Chris Cornell, with the long hair and the shirtlessness. I may have a bias here. No matter, it’s my dream cast, screw anyone who disagrees. Let them get their own.
Mary Magdalene “If we try we’ll get by so forget all about us tonight”
For some unknown reason, the first person that popped into my mind for this role was Michael Stipe. Who knows why? However, after some thought, I’ve decided he’d be put to better use elsewhere, and India Arie should have this role. Yes.
Caiaphus “We need him crucified; it’s all you have to do.”
Frank Zappa would have been ideal. I can see him in the role; it’s amazing. But he’s dead now. So it might be better served with Sully Erna, from Godsmack. I’m not entirely sure on that one, just because Frank Zappa was so astoundingly perfect for the role I have a hard time envisioning someone else in it. But I’m sure Sully could pull it off.
Annas “How do we deal with a carpenter king?”
I’ve decided Michael Stipe would be better in this role. Not sure why, just an instinct.
Simon Zealots “You’ll get the power and the glory for ever and ever and ever.”
I think Maynard James Keenan would be awesome in this role. He has the right kind of impassioned voice that Simon is supposed to have.
Pontius Pilate “Don’t let me stop you’re great self destruction; die if you want to, you misguided martyr”
Have you ever heard the Dave Matthews Band song “Halloween?” The way Dave Matthews sings that song makes me think he could pull off Pilate expertly. But then I had another thought: Shirley Manson. I like the novelty of it. She gets to be Pilate; Dave is her understudy.
Peter “I don’t know him!”
I like Ben Folds for this role. I don’t have a reason, just a whim. Haha, it’s my webpage and my prerogative!
King Herod “Hey, aren’t you scared of me Christ, Mr. Wonderful Christ?”
George Clinton. There is no improving upon that. Who could be more lavish than him, I ask you?
And secondly (lastly?)
I’m a cheesy dork, and I do have a cast consisting of people I live with, were they suddenly able to sing, dance, and act. My reasons are far more arbitrary this time, bonus!
Jesus: Chris. Dunno why; he has an air of innocence that suits the role.
Mary Magdalene: Kayley. Because she’s awesome and would rub Jesus’ feet.
Caiaphus: Anders. He has the perfect voice for it (you know, Caiaphus is from Mill City)
Annas: Dan. Just cause Dan should be in it.
Simon: Greg, I think. Or Erin. Because they are political science majors.
Pilate: Me. I’ve always wanted to be Pilate in Jesus Christ Superstar (is that bad?)
Peter: Michael. So he doesn’t have to sing very long (much love!). Also, I can kinda seem him doing the part, but very differently, funnier.
King Herod: Arguably, no one would have more fun in this role than Josh, and he has to be in it, anyway.