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| The other side of your horoscope: AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18): You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a freaking jerk. PISCES (February 19 - March 20): You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or the CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack self confidence and are a general loser. ARIES (March 21 - April 19): You are the pioneer type and think people are idiots. You are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice.You are a prick. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn Communist. GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest. CANCER (June 21 - July 22): You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. This is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer. LEO (July 23 - August 22): You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. VIRGO (August 23 - September 22): You are the logical type and hate disorder. This shitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps. LIBRA (September 23 - October 22): You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are male you are probably queer.Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libra's die of venereal disease. SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21): The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21): You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius's are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius. You are not worth the time of day. CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19): You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself. |