Old News!!! 

Here's the news you've all been waiting for. T.W.A.T. have officially split after an epic and prosperous 8 month career together. There are are many reasons why we've decided to call it a day. Furburger's boner caused a lot of friction between all members and also the fans. This made it HARD to keep the band structure ERECT and new songs CUMMING. Our last show supporting Monkey Boy was undoubtedly the crowning moment of our time together and the legend of T.W.A.T. will never be forgotten. Please feel free to leave your tribute messages on the guestbook situated at the bottom of this page. We still have some cds left and some t-shirts from the last gig. These items are limited edition and are sure to be a hit with collectors world wide so don't miss this opportunity to purchase them. Many thanks for your support. We've been T.W.A.T, you've been gay. 


Hello you big jerk off. We've sadly had to cancel our scheduled appearance in Bridgewater on November 10th cos Chris has a boner. Our heartfelt apologies go out to those desperately looking forward to seeing us. However you really should consider your role as a human being if this is the case. We shall still be appearing on Halloween (Wed 31st), although the venue is yet to be confirmed. This will be our last show. Bring your pocket money cos we have merchandise and cds. Cheer really loud or we'll call you names. bi. 


Whoa! loadsa new news from the tribe called T.W.A.T. here it goes. We've finished part 3 of the trilogy and it's now available. Entitled

Part 3: Covered In Sea Men

Fucked In The Ear - How Punk Am I - Family Man - Why Is My Urine Red? - Wank Boy - DJ Twat, Bring It On

The album contains 6 of our worst tracks to date, as well as some poor recording techniques and multiple swear words. It costs 3 and will be available from our forthcoming gigs or from any one member of the band.

Talking of gigs, we're playing along side the one's they call Monkey Boy and A Nation Of Wizards at Yeovil Snooker Club on October 31st. "But that's Halloween" I here you shout. You're right!.....a prime opportunity then to dress up like a complete tit and drink too much. It won't cost much, after all we are playing, and you can pay on door. See you there! 


YO! So we're just getting some new gigs lined up for October/November type time. Keep a look out for them. We're gonna get on with the 3rd and final part of the trilogy so it's out before we play again. Cheers for all you messages, you're funny. The original plan was that no one was sposed to like us. That kinda backfired. Our new aim is to sell out as quickly as possible. You can make this dream a reality by telling your friends about us, buying 6 or more copies of our cds and wearing T.W.A.T. merchandise. Don't forget to go to the snooker club on 21st September to see Big Wieners (Yeovil Ska-Punk), Stupidicus and Lamb Quartet. That's all for now.


Haha!!, I hope last night's performance has taught you not to underestimate the power of the T.W.A.T.! Many thanks for your kind response, we expected nothing less. We considered taking our profit and quitting after last night's gig, but we've come to the conclusion we can still extract some more money from you. Therefore we haven't played our final gig. You're still all really ugly.


T.W.A.T. will headline the Yeovil Snooker Club on August 31st. Oort Cloud, Aura Sun and Star 5 support. This is the first time we've played in ages. If you're lucky we'll have some new songs for you, but we've gotta learn the old songs first. Don't forget to bring along your pocket money to purchase a cd or 2 and some top quality merchandise. That's all.


We have most if not all of our songs available on mp3 at audiogalaxy.com!. Go and download them (if you can find them). But make sure you buy the cds as well. Cos we don't make money from mp3s and we want to make money to fund multiple habits and also another cd.


Go to the 'Lame' section to view an array of merchandise we have for sale. It's cheap and really poor quality!


We have just completed the recording of our second cd. It is part 2 of the T.W.A.T. trilogy and is entitled....

Part 2: Spreading The Twat


it consists of five of the finest quality songs, suitable for all occasions and is now available for the hugely satisfying price of 3 English pounds. I suggest you buy it or I'll kick you in the nuts, horseface.

Insert mildly humorous comment here


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