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Randy – This is KABSMDHEU 1040 AM, and we are Live From The Trenches. There is a lot of fire going on, so we are going to do this quickly so I can get out of here! First off with us is General Aand of the British army.
Randy – General Aand, how many people do you have in your command?
Travis - I have 300, o wait, 299, we're so busy here
Randy - How long have you been fighting?
Travis - My force has been here for 4 days now, I have both American and British soldiers under my command
Randy - Do you think you will win?
Travis - Of course, these German scums are dying before we even arrive! I say we take our entire force into Berlin and burn it to the ground!
Randy - How many men have you lost under your command?
Travis - I lost count after… 246, but it doesn't matter, they died in honor, to destroy the Germans!
Randy - Would you rather be on the front or with your family?
Travis - I will not return home until the world is washed of the German scum! Go ask any of my men, see what they say!
Randy – Thank you very much! Now here is our favorite British friend, Private Cock.
Randy - Where would you rather be, home or the front?
Paul - I would rather be at home. The front is so horrible. Just look out here, dead bodies everywhere. It just horrific. Mortor shots going, men crying for mercy, just pure HELL. You have no idea how the front is until you are there.
Randy - Do you like the general that is lead you?
Paul - Yes, he is very good. Although he put me on the front line. I really didn't appreciate that. But General Aand is a very good general. His name is hard to say but, he leads us with dignity and pride. I am glad to be in his patoon. If you excuse me now, I need to kill some Germans.
Paul - Die you people.....aha... I've been shot.
Wait, wait, what's your name
(Jon shoots Private Cock)
Jon - Ich hassen Sie! HAHAHAHAHA!
Randy – Can you please translate that?
Jon - Oh, okay, I hate you! HAHAHAHAHA!
Randy - May we have your name for our report?
Jon - Yes, I am officer Ochs.
Randy - Who do you believe will win the war?
Jon - Well, I feel that we Germans are the best fighters in Europe and we will conquer all of you Allies.
Randy - How well does your country take care of you while you are in this time of war?
Jon - We are usually taken care of pretty well by our superiors and given much food to keep our bodies strong during battle.
Randy - What is your opinion on this war?
Jon - Even though I am doing this for my country it is still very harsh, and I still get jumpy when an explosion occurs.
Randy - Would you rather be here fighting, or back home?
Jon - I wish that I were at home with my family in Hamburg, the same as the dead Brit said over there.
Randy - I have a report here that Hamburg was bombed a couple of days ago; there were very little survivors.
Jon - What? Oh yea, well take this…
(Then Jon shoots the reporter)
Jon - We are the Germans and we will prevail!