SOME REALLY STUPID THINGS

  1. Clifford
  2. Dogs (A five star stupid.)
  3. Hanoi Jane
  4. Dennis Miller (He was funny once.)
  5. Al Franken (He was funny, once.)
  6. Tim Allen
  7. Roseanne Arnold/Barr/Whatever
  8. ****Pauly Shore****
  9. Jim Carrey (notice the number of celebrities on the list.)
  10. Dogs.
  11. That Stupid Symbol Guy. What kind of an idiot would change his name to an unpronounceable symbol?
  12. Anyone who ever refers to That Stupid Symbol Guy as `the artist formerly known as Prince.' Play along with his game, ya pandering losers. (And don't get me started with his new `The Artist' tag.)
  13. Daniel McKey (At least he claims that's his name. If it isn't, let me know.)
  14. Family Matters
  15. Full House
  17. Lists with blank spaces.
  18. Dogs
  19. Garlic. Onions. Liver. *Brrr!*
  20. Mushrooms. Why anybody would eat fungus is beyond me. You might just as well suck on Ernie's toes.
  21. Skim Milk (Water with chalk dust for coloring. I know this to be true.)
  22. Cheese-Whiz. (Obviously responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire.)
  23. Not having napkins at a barbeque. I mean, what are people thinking?
  24. The Slightly Less Than Official Spork Homepage (That's a joke, people. This place is great.)
  25. People who don't know why my birthday is an EXTREMELY mystical day.
  26. Endless teasers.
  28. The same joke being repeated twice, especially when it was dumb to begin with.
  29. Dogs.
  30. Parades.
  31. MisssPeled WeRdz. (Except French ones. Hors deouvers?)
  32. Professional sports. How can any sane person get wrapped up in SOMEBODY ELSE's game?
  33. Help desks that are staffed by people who have no clue what they are supposed to do. (Such as computer help desks that don't know the difference between a bit and a byte, or tax-help places that give the wrong info.)
  34. Anyplace the service resents serving the customer. (And there's a lot of these places.)
  35. Comics where the superheroes kill more people than the criminals do.
  36. Valley of the Shubs. I'm serious about this one being on the list.
  37. Bromp beasts. Ask my brother Eddie about this one.
  38. Fill in your favorite pet peeve here.
  39. College tuition.
  40. Dogs.
  41. The `Politically Correct' movement.
  42. Self-Esteem being taught at schools. I can handle a population suffering from an inferiority complex if they could only read, write, and do basic math. Laugh all you want at the three R's, but they WORKED!
  43. Government Mandated Multiculturalism (Somebody would get mad at this one, but I know nobody reads this page. See inferiority complex above.)
  44. The Rainbow Curriculum. (See self-esteem. Why bother teaching `Heather Has Two Mommies' if Heather can't count that high?)
  45. Affirmative Action. I can't get behind this one. Government sanctioned racism is not the way to address the sins of the past. (Yes, I know, I know, I `don't get it'. Unfortunately, nobody seems to know how to intelligently explain to me why if it was a bad thing then it should be okay now. Tell me, I really want to know.)
  46. Consciousness-raising ribbons. That's really helpful, huh? Try sending a couple bucks privately, or volunteering some time instead. I don't care how noble you are, and it can't be much if you need to announce it.
    I changed my mind. I like these now. See, who says I'm close-minded. Give me some strong, legitimate reasons why I'm wrong, and I'll consider your foolish viewpoints.
  47. Commanders who say `In brief', `To conclude', `In short', or `To sum up', and then keep blabbing for another two hours in 98 degree weather with an even greater humidity.
  48. People who call `military intelligence' an oxymoron. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard this one, and everybody seems to think they're the first ones to have said it.
  49. Swearing. It doesn't broaden your vocabulary, it narrows your expressiveness. And the only person it impresses are people you shouldn't want to impress, such as Daniel McKey.
  50. Dogs.
  51. People who say `we need to get the vote out!' While it's a fine attitude, the reality is that there are too many ill-informed people out there who have no business voting. The ill-informed are likely to take what they hear from second-hand sources as the truth, without bothering to check out the facts. Just because they have the right to vote doesn't make it right to vote. (So I'm a radical. Sue me. That's why I'll be running with a right wing party.)
  52. Anyone who votes for Ross Perot, for reason given above.
  53. People who worry and cry about the President's knee after his fall, especially when they laughed at Bob Dole. At least Dole got back up.
  54. Bernie Goetz losing the civil trial. I couldn't care less about Bernie, but this means some punk hoodlum is profiting from his own criminal act. If Bernie's got to pay, the money should be sent to a charity, or to police department funding. It sure shouldn't go to a THUG.
  55. OJ Simpson. He got away with murder.
  56. Gangster rap. Apparently it's a requirement to be shot to be a legitimate gangster rapper. What's the point?
  57. Gallagher in the Morning (except when he goes off on Hanoi Jane.)
  58. Lynn Samuels (It's good to see she got the boot.)
  59. Ed Koch (I don't care who the current mayor is, Koch will always be the state fruit of New York.)
  60. Howard Stern. It doesn't matter how well his movies do, how many books he sells, what the ratings are on his TV show are, or how many markets his radio program is played in. This guy is NOT FUNNY.
  61. The Setonian. The only decent part is what they pick up from the college press service. (Okay, there's one or two decent columns...). It sure has gotten better than last year's version.
  62. People who hate third parties just because they're third parties.
  63. The greeting card industry. These people make up holidays. What the heck is `Sweetest Day'?
  64. Dogs.

Thas'sit, I kan taake no moore. Reeding thiss list uv dum stuffs lowerd mye IQ buy 70 pointce. Yu bedder taake mee bak two duh mane paige bee4 i kompletly loose mye mined.

Updated 28 Dec 00. Still stupid.

On a related note, here are a few more of my opinions on what is and isn't good, in TOP TEN (more or less) list format...

Authors
Cartoons
Cartoon Theme Songs
Musicals
Movies
TV Shows
Musicians
Numbers
Letters
Comic Strips
Animals
Plants
Elements
Bugs
Foreign Films
Sports
Board Games
Arcade Games
Home Video Games
Sodas