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Indian Humour

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A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in 
Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the 
practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on 
Independence Day.

Here is his speech : 

Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first 
maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask 
pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but 
for the following reason. 

Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre 
compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on 
station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also 
rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great 
difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station 
master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.

We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who get-
outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-
rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our birth-rate. You 
children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future 
time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great 
like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt.

You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven 
percent evaporation.  They became great by reading great books.  After 
we finish you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., 
M.A. and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme 
courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college. 

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We 
will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and 
one day will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in newspapers.  
Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: 
Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc.  These jobs may 
be teknickel, but you can rise. If you have flare in English, you can 
become teacher.

I am now ending this fastly.  My God blast you! Thank you and thank God 
I am finished. 

Joy Hind!"

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