The JxIno story continues...

Well, this chapter is going to contain the standard angst and exploration of feelings, since I plan to have J and Ino sort of figure out that there’s something special about their friendship--let’s see if it actually works out. I don’t think the time is ripe for a big denouement just yet though, so be patient! All will be revealed in time...There is no actual m-m sex, so if that’s all you want, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Thanks to people who actually gave me some feedback, it’s amazingly encouraging. To all those who read this, I encourage you all to try your own fanfics too! It's an interesting experience, to say the least. And I can't write to save my life either, so don't tell me that

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Chapter 4: It’s Not Possible
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J watched helplessly as Inoran ran from the room. He was torn--should he try to explain his mistake? His guts twisted as he saw Inoran's face in his mind. For someone who was usually so emotionally muted that it had taken J years to recognize his emotions, there had been a dangerous amount of pain in that expression.

What must he be thinking about me? Should I wait until he calms down?

No, he decided. I don’t want him to think the wrong thing for a second longer than he has to! He shot Kaori, the cause of this mess, a glance filled with hate, and restrained the urge to slap her smug face. Then he ran after Inoran.

Inoran sprinted around the corners, trying not to think about what he had just seen and heard, tried to focus on getting away to someplace to think it over. But as much as he tried, the same images kept running in his head like a broken movie reel. Their faces...J’s strange behavior...J trying to tell him something...Kaori’s laugh when they spent time together.

Finally, in a little side street with only a few cats and garbage cans, he stumbled to a halt. Utterly out of breath, he leaned against a dusty brick wall, lungs heaving. He ran his hands through his long hair, pulled it away from his face, felt his cheeks burning. As long as he could focus on how hard his heart was pounding, how his flushed body was radiating waves of heat, how the sweat ran into his eyes and burned them, he didn’t have to think about what he had seen.

Unfortunately, it just couldn’t last. He slid down the wall and buried his head in his hands, his habit when he was feeling really upset. Why did it have to be my best
friend and my girl friend? he wondered. It’s like some bad soap opera, where I’m the clueless one. But I should have known. She’s so pretty and popular...why would she pick me? J’s got the powerful personality; of course she would like him. But why didn’t he just tell me? He thought about the panicked expression on J's face when Kaori had confessed.

Of course he wouldn't tell me. He doesn't want to hurt me.

The thought filled him with a sadness for a moment, and then suddenly he was angry.

Dammit, I don’t want your pity!

He sighed. God, maybe I’m overreacting. It’s not like she promised to marry me, I’m the one who had to go and hand her my heart on a platter...no wonder J didn’t want to tell me.

Where the hell is he?!? J came out of the school and scanned the street, realizing that Inoran could have disappeared in any direction.

Shit, I lost him...

Even thinking the words made him panic, and he took off in the direction of Inoran’s house. If he isn’t there I’ll wait until he comes back, he thought grimly. I’ll be damned if I let him sleep tonight without clearing things up. Once he reached the fence in front of Inoran’s house, he stopped for breath and to clear his mind.

How am I going to convince him about the truth?

Suddenly he shook his head.

Why am I overreacting?

Normally he was in control of his emotions, at least on the outside. He couldn’t understand why he was practically frantic just because Inoran had misunderstood the relationship between Kaori and him.

Which, of course, is _absolutely nothing_.

He had to make that clear to Inoran before saying anything else. Looking inside the window by the door, he realized that his friend definitely hadn’t returned. Feeling disappointed but realizing that he could use the time to sort out his explanation, J sat down on the curb and waited for Inoran to come home.

Inoran looked at the darkening sky above the sunset. He was reluctant to go home, but it was starting to get cold. He wasn’t exactly sure how long it would take him to get back. Clambering stiffly to his feet, he trudged out of the street and started to look for familiar landmarks. Feeling mostly tired and a little distant, as if the entire afternoon’s scene had only been a daydream, he mechanically covered the blocks.

J waited, feeling guilty as he realized that Inoran had been out for hours.

It must have really hurt him, the way he cares about Kaori and all. Damn, I need a smoke, and a drink wouldn’t hurt either. I hope he listens to me, at least. It’s starting to get cold. He paced briskly, trying to keep warm.

Inoran looked at the figure walking outside his house. Somehow he knew who it would be, although he couldn’t make out any features at that distance. Besides, he didn’t know anyone else that tall. Quietly, he went around to the back of the house. He didn’t feel like facing J. It wasn’t so much that he was angry, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling of being betrayed. All of his previous pain came rushing back to him when he thought about the close friendship between them. For five years they had been friends. J had never deliberately hidden anything from him, not even his drinking habits.

I would have sworn...why did you do this? You knew how much I liked her...

J stopped mid-pace, thinking about all the activities that they shared: running the music club, forming and playing in the band, teaching and practicing the guitar, sneaking out to the livehouses to see their idols perform...or just discussing their uncertain futures.

I’m closer to Ino than I am to my own sister, who’s already in college...

A sound? A glimpse out of the corner of his eye? Whatever the reason, he felt his heart sink and hit his ribcage with a *thud*. He whirled around. Sure enough, there was Ino, sneaking off to the back door.

Shit, he doesn’t even want to talk to me.

Great...I’m caught, thought Ino. Now I have to hear him apologize. I almost wish he wouldn’t. Then maybe I could deal with our...friendship.

"Ino, listen," began J.
"Look, it’s OK." Inoran cut him off. "You don’t have to apologize or anything, she likes you, you like her, there’s no point in my getting in the way." The bitterness of his words surprised the part of him that wasn't numb with faitgue. He couldn’t even tell why J made him so upset.

He felt dimly that if it had been Kaori, somehow he would have been handling it better.

"It’s not like that! Listen to me, dammit!" J felt himself getting frustrated. He had to get through to Ino somehow. His friend looked at him, a little surprised at his tone.

"Kaori lied to you," he went on. "There’s nothing between her and me. Nothing!" As he said the words, he knew had made a mistake. Inoran flushed.

"Why would she lie to me for no reason? She’s not that kind of person! If you think I’m buying that as a story, you’re dumber that I think you are." Unable to stop the flood of angry words, he went on, keeping his eyes carefully averted from J’s face. "You’ve been hiding something from me anyway, don't deny it. Why should I trust you more than her?"

J was silent. How could he explain that there was a reason for her to lie, that she’d only
been using him, that she had lied in order to get back at J for rejecting her? What was the use, when Inoran didn’t believe him anyway? "I thought that we were better friends than that," he said at last, keeping his voice carefully neutral.

"So did I," said Inoran quietly, and J winced despite his innocence.

"Then dammit, why won’t you trust me?" he shouted, losing his control.
"Give me a reason to!" retorted Inoran.
"Try this: Because I care about you, bakayaro!"

Inoran was stunned into silence. J couldn’t even believe his own ears. Did I just say that? he wondered. He, who'd refused to kiss his parents goodnight since he was twelve
and scoffed at the sentimental cartoons Inoran dragged him to see?

It’s just not possible. But he’s looking at me oddly...Quickly, he filled in the gap. "I mean I care more about you than some girl. Our friendship is more important. Besides,
what would happen to the band if we couldn’t pull it together?" Suddenly Inoran recalled how often he’d been skipping practice recently, and a pang of guilt shoved aside the angry fog.

No matter what, I owe it to him to at least listen. After that...

That’s it for Chapter 4. I can’t decide whether to end the fic at the end of high school, or move it on into their indies days. Their relationship development will be impacted by which one I choose, so if you have any preferences, <A HREF="mailto:aki2000@xpres.net">mail me ok?</A> Thanks for your support and continued tolerance of my fiction!

The JxIno story continues...

Well, here’s Chapter 5. Five Chapters in as many days, I’m kinda pleased with myself!
(Aki: Well sheesh, no wonder the quality was a bit...um, strained.^^;;)
Now let’s see how long my resolve lasts...I have a history test tomorrow and I’m still writing. Either that means I really want to complete this or I just don’t wanna study. ^_^ The next few chapters (geez this is gonna be long) might take a while, though. I’m going into their indies days, so that means researching the other band members too, though of course the plot’s still focusing on Ino and J! Many thanks to the people who keep reading this. (And also "Monkichi-san" of JHU who sent me nice e-mails!) Even though I like writing, it's hard for me to have the confidence to post my work, and encouraging feedback (heck, _any_ feedback) helps. After all, a bit of company is nice when you

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Chapter 5: Follow Your Dreams
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Inoran looked at his friend’s frustrated face. J’s jaw was clenched, and his eyebrows were knotted over his closed eyes as if bracing himself. He took a deep breath and started. "Inoran, you might not want to hear this, but please. Just listen. I swear that everything I’m saying is true."

As he listened to J’s stumbling explanation, Inoran felt his emotions piling up rapidly, layer after layer. At first he felt confusion, then doubt at J’s words. Kaori wouldn’t--couldn’t be like that...could she? But as J went on, Inoran realized that he was being totally earnest. Then he felt angry, and incredibly hurt that she had played him for a fool. But underneath it all was a strange relief at the fact that J hadn’t betrayed him, after all.

When J finished, he stared at the floor tensely. He had talked determinedly, not daring to look in Inoran’s eyes, afraid that he would see disbelief or anger. Disgusted at his own weakness--after all I didn’t do anything wrong, what am I afraid of?-- he raised his gaze to Inoran with almost a challenging look.

Then he almost sighed in relief when he saw apology in those eyes and not-- and not something else.

"J-- I’m sorry. I should have listened to you."

I shouldn’t have thought that you would do something like that, shouldn’t have doubted our
friendship, he added silently. "I just really--really liked her. I feel like...like such an idiot!" His hands came up, pushed over his forehead and hid his face.

J felt an intense, helpless compassion for him. He could recognize Inoran’s gesture of hurt. Wanting to do something, but not knowing what, he put ahand on Ino’s shoulder in a gesture of clumsy sympathy. "I guess she wasn’t the right one for you," he said, trying to make it joking. "But hey, with that idol face of yours, you’ll have all the girls you can handle! If Tokyo Pro was willing to scout you, the Kanagawa girls will be jumping into your bed!"

Inoran couldn’t help but look up and smile at J’s words. "Don’t worry," he replied wryly.

"Worry about what?" J asked, wondering if Inoran thought he was being too concerned.

"When I get all those girls, I promise to share some with you!"
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That had been months ago. Despite his light words, there was no denying that Inoran felt the blow of Kaori’s lies. He became even shyer and withdrawn, especially around girls. J saw it and ground his teeth, but didn’t know how to help his friend. Better to let time take care of it, he thought. Besides, we have enough problems now that the band is breaking up. We’re losing both our drummer and vocalist to college, how are we going to keep up the band? And we sure as hell do need one, especially if I’m going to make music my life.

He slammed his fist against the lockers. What the fuck should I do? I don’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe I should just go to college and be an English teacher. But what about my music? What about my ambition? Should I just throw them away? He stood there, lost in his thoughts. Just then, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned around
and saw Inoran looking at him with an inquiring expression.

"Hey J."
"Hey."

"So what are you going to do?" J asked his best friend. "With your life, I mean."

Inoran, seeing that he was troubled and serious, thought for a minute before answering. He didn’t want to influence J too much.

I don’t want to pull him into this, it’s his choice and his life, but I know what I wish he would choose...

"It’s like what Nakamura sensei said; you gotta follow your dreams. I know what my dream
is--ever since I saw Ichiro I knew what I wanted. But everyone’s dream is different."

J said nothing, slowly digesting this advice. After a long pause, he looked up at Inoran.
"You want to be a famous guitarist?"

"Hai," replied Inoran, a little startled.
"You gonna need a bass in your band too?"

Relieved, Inoran smiled. He wouldn’t have to lose his friend; they could find their dream together. He blew out a breath as he felt a long-time dread removed from his chest, and then in typical fashion forgot about it entirely. "Well, since you think that way, I’ve got
some good news for you."

"Oh yeah? What’s that?"
"I found us a drummer."
"Really? No shit? That’s great!" J said, starting to get excited. I knew it, I knew it was right!

"Chotto matte, there’s a condition. He has a friend, a guitarist he wants to be in the band too." [Aki: Guess who? ^_^]

"A guitarist? But we already have you," J frowned. "What do you know about this friend?"
"Ah--nothing."

"Nothing?!?"
"He’s kind of a lone wolf, I guess. His name’s..."

The two new members of Lunacy, Shinya and Sugizo, proved to be perfect for the band. Shinya was an undeniably talented drummer, and his humor and good temper came in handy as often as his drumming did. He had an almost uncanny knack for smothering tempers with a joke just as they were about to flare. It was hard to understand how he and Sugizo could be such good friends since they were incredibly different. Night and day, J frequently joked. Shinya was cheerful and loud; when it came to the band, he didn’t care about his image so much as throwing himself into the rhythm of music. When he drummed, he was as passionate as any of them, but in between he was any teenage boy, more interested in getting to his next meal than finding fame. He and Inoran got along well, and Shinya often went to watch Disney movies with Inoran, something which J had never much enjoyed. Shinya didn’t mind showing his feelings either, and could in fact be downright sentimental.

Sugizo, on the other hand, was a puzzle. He was sometimes silent, sometimes arrogant. Talented, no doubt--and a tangle of prickly feelings and adolescent surges of emotion which were somewhat alien to both boys. Even J, whose temper and enthusiasm occasionally carried him off, was baffled by the sudden mood swings. They had looked at him somewhat dubiously at first, but within the trial period there was no conflict, so he too was eventually accepted as a member. Inoran wasn’t one to protest the competition as guitarist. In fact he welcomed Sugizo’s added input.

This is what we’re about, finding new depths to music, and it’s more flexible with two guitarists. His style is so different from mine...well, the more variety, the better.
But I wish we could find a vocalist! So much music, no one to sing it, Inoran thought, blowing out smoke reflectively.

J, for his part, was thinking much the same thing. As Inoran stubbed out his cigarette against the curb, J was walking back from Sugizo’s house, thinking about their voice-less state.

Where can I find one? I doubt he’s just going to fall into our laps the way our drummer and guitarist did...if we had a voice, the right voice, we could make it, I know we could! Dammit, we’ve got talent. I can feel it. But how are we going to find a good
vocalist? He tried remembering all the vocalists he had known in high school. No one seemed right...they needed someone with a flexible but strong sound-- and the only one with potential had graduated and gone on to college.

As he rounded the corner, absorbed in his problem, he ran into someone coming from the other direction. J grunted as a skinny elbow dug into his ribs. [Aki: guess who now?] They both stumbled back. "Sorry," J said briefly. The other person straightened and said nothing, flicking an annoyed glare at J. To his surprise, the owner of the long black hair and the skinny elbows was undeniably masculine.

Not only was he masculine, but those eyes, located between high cheekbones and strong brows, were undeniably familiar. He stared after the rapidly retreating figure, trying to place just where he had seen that face before.

Funny, I keep feeling like the last time I saw him, he had more makeup on...why would that be? Must be from another band...I’ll go ask Ino, maybe he can help me.

Damn, I’ve got a feeling that this is important.

Inoran scrunched his brows in thought. "The bands that we’ve seen recently? Well, what about that bandfest we had right before graduation? We saw a bunch of other groups there. Was this guy one of them?"

"Yes!" said J suddenly. "Now I remember. The vocalist from ‘Slaughter’!"
Inoran cocked his ear at the word "vocalist."

"Are you thinking what I’m thinking?"
"Depends. How good was he?"
"I remember wishing our vocalist could do as well."

Inoran got to his feet. "You’ve said enough for me. Let’s go find this guy."
J looked at him. "How? We don’t what he looks like, what his name is--"
"It’s Rayla. Now that you’ve told me who he is I remember that much. We talked a little, actually. I think his real name is Ryu or something."

A small surge of triumph swept over him, leaving a tingling surge of confidence in its wake.
If they really could recruit him--

Inoran sat back down with a thump. "But you’re right. I haven’t got a clue where we can
find him." J found himself wishing that he had chased after Ryu or Rayla or whoever he was.
"Where did you run into him anyway?"
"Coming back from Sugizo’s place, on the corner by the grocer’s. What, you’re not going to hang around hoping he’s going to come back?"

"You had a better plan?"

"Well...no."

As it turned out, though, they didn’t have to resort to that.

End of Chapter 5. To be continued...

You guys must wondering, "Hey?!? Where does the JxIno part come in? There’s NO romance in this blasted fic!" ^^;; Gomen gomen! This is my first fic and I just can’t fit it all in at once. Besides, like I said before, if all you want is sex this is the wrong story to read. It’s just meant to entertain people who love to read about their favorite band members, na. I haven’t found any stories that talk about LS before they acquired silver pants, pink hair, playboy image and whatnot, but I think that their past has a lot to do with what they are too. Besides, they are an interesting bunch! If you want to see some bios go to Rockin’ Heaven, to whom I am forever indebted.

Besides, I’ve often wondered just why all we fans like to set up jrocker x jrocker stories. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m totally heterosexual, but I definitely have fun writing and reading these fanfics. I don’t think we’re all just a bunch of hentai, so how do you explain it?

My reason is as follows: I like to read about them b/c I’m a fan, and anything about my beloved bands interests me. I like to write them because hell, they’re so beautiful that we all fall in love with them, so why shouldn’t they fall in love with each other? ^^

Anyway, if you have any thoughts on this topic, or feedback on the fanfic, drop me a line at aki2000@xpres.net. Thanks very much! Chapter 6 will bring the formation of a complete Luna Sea, and hopefully some more development of the JxIno thing!

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