Fushigi Yugi fanfic. My standard disclaimers apply.

True Love Once Given

by Lady Aria (bukiminatenshi@mailcity.com)

Soi and Nakago stood at a secluded area of the fort. She looked at her fellow Seiryuu seishi. They were close to claiming the shinzaho and calling Seiryuu which will mark the end of their arduous journey... but one question still rang through her mind.

"Nakago," she whispered.

"What is it?"

"I have made love to you throughout this campaign," she said, gazing into his eyes. Such cold, blue orbs. "I have used that to heal you, to give you strength, to give you power. Tell me," her voice took on a more urgent note, "did you ever feel any love for me?"

Nakago broke her gaze and looked away. "If there is any one who can make me feel love," he said, turning his back on her, "it isn’t you, Soi."

He didn’t bother to look at the seishi. He knew that she was hurt and angry because of what he’d just said, but frankly, he didn’t care. This was the way things worked. He hadn’t lied when he told her that she wasn’t the one who could give him the love that he needed. There was no doubt about that.

<No, Soi,> he thought, closing his eyes, <you are not the one.>

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The eleven-year-old Nakago stood before the emperor. Soldiers of Kutou Country had launched a full-scale attack on his people and had managed to wipe them out. He was the last surviving member of the Hin race.

"Emperor," one of the guards said, "this one is a Seiryuu seishi."

"But, he is still a child!" an adviser said as he waved a hand to the near-catatonic boy.

"Sir, he managed to burn five of our soldiers along with his mother and the symbol of the seishi appeared on him!"

"He has the beautiful face of a girl," the emperor said eyeing Nakago, an evil smile coming to his lips. "I like him."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Leiren!"

"Coming!"

The girl grabbed the basket of herbs by her feet and rushed into the palace’s kitchen, her long, black braid swaying as she moved. She popped into the kitchen and settled the basket on the table beside the counter. The old cook looked at the girl beside her and gave her a warm pat on the head.

"Leiren, I know that you have already done more than enough, but I’d like you to do me one more favor," the cook said and handed her a tea tray. "Yachi is out sick and I am very much understaffed. I need you to bring this to the emperor’s bedchamber immediately!"

"Will do!" She gave the cook a wink and walked out with the tray.

Leiren knew that she wasn’t obliged to work in the palace. Her mother became a courtesan shortly after her father died because the emperor had apparently had his eye on her for a long time. She had everything she could ask for. The other courtesans often told her mother of how beautiful she will be when she grows up with her delicate oval face, full lips, and large, puppy-brown eyes.

She rolled her eyes as she turned into the corridor leading to the emperor’s room. Physical beauty was only skin deep and she had wondered why the courtesans all made a fuss over the smallest blemish and wrinkle. They will all someday grow old anyway.

The doors of the bedchamber came into view and Leiren laid the tray on the small table flanking it. She smoothed her dress and flicked away the few sticky burrs that had somehow gotten on her clothes earlier. One had to look their best when seeing the emperor. Straightening herself, she knocked.

"Who is it?" the emperor asked, more than a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Ahhh...," Leiren stammered. He sounded pretty cross. Not good. "It’s me, Your Majesty, Leiren. I’ve brought your afternoon tea."

"Enter."

She breathed a deep sigh of relief and pushed one of the doors open and grabbed the tray before the door managed to close behind her. It was dark inside. A faint light came from a small oil lamp that was suspended inside the canopied bed. Although the curtains were drawn, Leiren could make enough sense of the movements of the silhouettes to know what was going on.

The moans grew louder as Leiren closed the distance between the bed and the door. A trickle of light from a gap in the curtains showed her the table. The only thing that ran through her mind was to leave the tray on the table and get out of the room as fast as she can. At last, she got to the table and set the tray down as gently as she could. She lifted her gaze off the table and froze.

The curtains had been so ruffled that she thought that she had walked in on the emperor and one of his courtesans but she nearly fell over in shock as her eyes fell upon the face of a boy not much older than she was. As if sensing her presence, he opened his eyes and gazed at her. Their eyes locked -- horrified brown and pleading blue. Leiren tried to swallow through the lump on her throat. His lips moved in a silent plea for help before another sharp cry escaped from his lips and he closed his eyes in pain. That made Leiren snap out of her trance and she rushed out of the room, fear evident on her face. She ran through the hallways and out of the palace until she reached the small stand of trees on the far side of the large pond where she collapsed from her exhausting flight.

She leaned on a tree and hugged her knees to her chest trying to control her ragged breathing. She closed her eyes, but the image only became clearer to her -- the boy’s tear streaked face, his eyes silently pleading to her for help, his anguished cry. Leiren sobbed and rested her head on her knees as she rocked her body to calm herself. She had never felt so frightened in her entire life.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Late afternoon saw Leiren in the palatial gardens. Some sort of celebration was going to be held at the palace and the servants were busily gathering flowers for the tables. Leiren, on the other hand, was picking flowers for her mother’s room. She had gathered several pink peonies and cradled them delicately in her arms when a shadow fell on her. Thinking it was Gaina, the cook, she turned, smiling, to the figure. Her eyes widened in fear and she stumbled into a sitting position, the flowers scattering around her.

The person standing before her, wearing princely robes, was the boy from the bedroom. She prostrated herself before him, acknowledging his high station as a Seiryuu seishi. Her eyes drifted to the sword hanging from his sash and she squeezed her eyes shut.

<He means to kill me,> she thought, her heart pounding in her ears, <he knows that I’ve borne witness to his shame!>

Leiren waited for the fatal blow that never came. Instead, soft firm hands helped her to her feet and she saw the boy carefully gathering the flowers that she had dropped. She stood in mute silence as he went about his work, his golden hair falling in front of his face. A light pink flush came to her face as he handed her the bouquet, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I’m sorry," Leiren said, as she lowered her gaze, "I shouldn’t have seen..."

"It’s alright," he told her quietly, "It’s not your fault."

Noting the bitterness in his voice, she looked at him then. He was a hand’s width taller than she was and had a bigger build. His blue eyes and blonde hair marked him as a foreigner and it made her wonder how he came to live in the palace. Finally mustering enough courage, she spoke.

"I’m Leiren," she said hesitantly, trying to read his reaction. To her surprise and delight, he smiled back at her.

"Well, Leiren," he said, apparently glad to have someone his age to talk to, "I’m Nakago. Care to take a walk with me?"

Leiren nodded and they started down the path that led through the garden and to the pond. Leiren enjoyed the fresh air and looked at the strangely intense boy beside her. There weren’t many children in the palace and almost all of them were those of the servants. Leiren was the only child belonging to a courtesan and she had always felt so out of place in that world where intrigue and physical beauty reigned supreme. Nakago suddenly tugged at her hand and she nearly stumbled as he pulled her running in the direction of the pond. Several of the servants looked their way and shook their heads in amusement at the two children at play.

He let her hand go when they reached the edge of the water and laid down on the soft green grass using his arms as pillows. Leiren plopped down beside him and breathed in deeply trying to catch her breath. It was so hard trying to run when she was wearing narrow skirts. She cocked her head to the side and watched him.

He was looking at the sky a wide smile on his face. It was hard to imagine that this was the same boy she had run from earlier that afternoon. Now, he looked so happy, like he had not a care in the world. He looked at her and gave her a smile. His smile got even wider and his eyes danced and sparkled when he saw her turn her gaze away from him and flush a bright red. He tried to sit up to tease her a bit more when he fell back clutching his sides. Leiren looked at him in alarm and gingerly touched his shoulders.

"Nakago, what’s wrong?"

He saw the concern in her eyes and gave her a wry smile. "No-Nothing," he said, giving her an unconvincing smile, "it’s just something that happens after.... Gods, I hurt!"

Leiren took a handkerchief from a small pocket in her skirt and dabbed the sweat from his face. She stood up and asked him to wait for her. He laid back down on the grass and watched as she rushed back into the palace. She returned several minutes later with a small clay pot in her hand. He noted the spicy aroma of herbs and looked at her quizzically.

"It’s healing salve," she told him as she handed him the pot. "Mother used to make it for father when he served outside the city. It can heal minor injuries and such...." She didn’t finish her sentence, opting to just gesture and once again, the red flush came back to her face.

Nakago smiled at her gratefully, glad that he met her, although he wished that they had met under more normal circumstances. He took off his shirt and Leiren started to move away.

"Leiren, don’t go."

She looked at him and felt her skin crawl when she saw the bruises and scratches that dotted his torso. He smiled at her sheepishly and handed her the pot. She applied a generous amount of the salve on his back, mentally reminding herself to get the recipe for the salve from her mother. It looked like she was going to have a great deal of practice making it.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

That had been the start of their friendship. They never met at any particular place in the palace, but since the incident in the garden, they seemed to run into each other more and more often. Whenever possible, they would sneak away from the main palace building and walk around in the surrounding woods. During this time, Nakago would tell Leiren about his family and the nomadic life of the Hin. Leiren would, in turn, tell him stories of her father and how she came to live in the palace. Since then, they had shared a bond -- both had come to live in the palace because of a loss. Through all this, the abuse that the emperor dealt upon the seishi continued. Leiren had vowed to always be there for him -- to heal him physically with her salves and to comfort him spiritually with her words.

There came a time when they were thirteen that Nakago had to start training for battle and Leiren was taken in by the other courtesans to teach her about behaving properly at court. Sword slashes and knife nicks replaced Nakago’s scratches and bruises while intricate hair masterpieces and uncomfortable clothes replaced Leiren’s braid and often boyish clothes. Even though they now lived in two very different worlds, Leiren and Nakago still met, but now in the numerous social functions and they had to often restrict themselves to a few casual glances and polite words.

In time, Nakago grew to be an excellent fighter, swiftly rising in rank and gaining popularity with the soldiers. At court, the shy daughter of a courtesan became the most coveted flower in the country. Still, they managed to sneak off, often at night, to talk and to share some laughs. These were the only times in their lives when they could forget about being a seishi and a lady of the court and just be the two teenagers that they really were.

Unknown to them, a woman sighed dreamily as she saw her daughter’s head rest on the proud warrior’s shoulder.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nakago fell back on the bed, feeling the effects of the all too-familiar loathed sensation on his body. He had endured this for four years now, and the feeling of shame still clung to him. He was a warrior and to be treated like this... like some kind of toy tore at him. He was well-respected by his peers in battle, but he was totally powerless against Him. The man was, after all, the emperor of Kutou Country. Nakago wondered how he had been able to last through the four years since he was taken to this God-forsaken country.

"Nakago."

He turned to look at his tormentor, careful to keep his face blank and his eyes passive. It wouldn’t do him any good to get on the bad side of this man.

"This is the last time, Nakago."

Nakago looked in surprise at the emperor. The last time?

"Starting today," the emperor said, putting on his robes and looking at him meaningfully, "I will no longer touch you in this way."

Nakago picked up his own discarded clothing from the floor and looked at him. This had to be a trick. Dangle something irresistible in front of him and snatch it away.

"Now that you’re fifteen, you should learn how to make love to a woman," he said, giving him a lewd wink. "Far be it for me to send you into the world without educating you on how to satisfy a lady. For practice, I give you the liberty of choosing any courtesan that you want."

It took him all of his willpower to keep himself from throttling the man. Instead, he finished dressing. He was about to take his leave when a quiet knocking sounded at the door. The emperor called for the visitor to enter and Leiren appeared, carrying the emperor’s incense. A traveling merchant band had stopped over at Kutou and peddled the sticks which gave off a fragrant smoke. Frankly, all they ever gave Nakago was a throbbing headache.

"Ah, Leiren," the emperor said and Nakago decided to stay, unwilling to leave his friend with him even for a second. "Come closer so I can see you."

Leiren came closer to him and he held her chin in his right hand forcing her to look at him. Nakago saw Leiren stiffen as the emperor’s left arm snaked around her slender waist, her figure further accented by the tightly sashed robes that she now wore.

"I have been watching you," the emperor said, his tone betraying his intentions, "you have grown into a fine woman. Any man in this kingdom would readily give their life to spend a night with you." He bent his head to take a whiff of her neck. "But know that before that ever happens, you will know the pleasure of being with the most powerful man in Kutou."

Nakago was shaking in fury as the emperor let her go. Leiren, on her part, ran out of the room like a scared rabbit. Nakago followed soon after, first taking his leave. He looked up and down the corridor and saw no trace of the girl. Outside, the sun was setting. Sighing, he decided to just find her at dinner.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nakago stood outside the door to Leiren’s room. She hadn’t come to dinner. He got so worried that he had asked her mother where she was. It seemed that Leiren had been so upset that she had locked herself up in her room and refused to come out. Nakago had to agree. That sounded exactly like something Leiren would do.

Checking to make sure that no one had seen him, he knocked on the door.

"Go away."

"Leiren, it’s me, Nakago. Please, let me in."

He heard the clicking of the lock and quickly entered the room. This was the first time that he has been to her room. It was nearly as big as his own with a bed at the other end of the room and chests, bureaus, and closets lining the walls. A large writing table stood at a corner of the room next to the window and a square table with four chairs stood in the center of the room.

Leiren gestured for him to sit and sat down in front of him. He looked at the expression on her face and sighed in relief.

<At least she hadn’t been crying,> he thought, <but then again, she rarely does.>

Leiren refused to meet his gaze and silence reigned on them. Nakago wasn’t about to let her stare at the table all night and decided to speak first.

"He said that what happened today would be the last time."

Leiren looked at him, her eyes showing that she didn’t understand what he was saying.

Nakago breathed in deeply. "The abuse, the pain -- it’s over, Leiren."

Leiren’s face brightened at that. She gave him a warm smile and squeezed his hand. "Then this must be a happy day for you! Today spells the end of you torment in the hands of that fiend."

Nakago shook his head and whispered angrily, "but it also marks the beginning of yours!"

"I have known for some time that this would eventually happen," Leiren said, standing up and walking to the window. "The other courtesans already implied as much. In the end, I will just be caught up in the games that they play, in their efforts to manipulate the men of this kingdom through whispered words in nights of empty passion."

She said these words with so much loathing that Nakago felt his heart ache. He could hear the hopelessness in her voice and the bitterness she felt for her fate. He saw her shoulders shake as she clutched them. He got up off his seat and wrapped his arms protectively around her. He closed his eyes as he felt her arms around him and she let her tears loose. He breathed soft words to soothe her, even though he knew that in the end they would both be powerless to change their destinies.

At last, he let her go. Her eyes were a little red from crying and her lips had taken on a deep red shade. Their eyes met and without a warning, Nakago took her back into his arms and kissed her. Leiren’s eyes widened in shock at the sensation of his lips caressing hers. She could feel his strength, yet he was also surprisingly gentle. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, surrendering to the moment.

After a while they let each other go, both their bodies in need of air. Nakago ran his fingers on her cheek. Leiren closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest, feeling its rise and fall and hearing the quickening beat of his heart.

"He told me that I could have any courtesan I want."

Leiren looked at him incredulously and saw the seriousness in his eyes. She backed away from him and sat on her bed while he moved to kneel before her.

"You’re not a courtesan yet," he said as he cupped her face in his callused hands, "but if I have to choose, I would choose you." He looked away from the wide-eyed expression on Leiren face and whispered, "if you would have me."

Nakago expected Leiren to deck him for even implying something like that, but to his surprise, she lifted his face to hers and kissed him tenderly. She pulled the pins out of her hair and laid them on the table, letting her black tresses flow down her back. It was more than any answer Nakago needed to hear. He put out the lamps in the room and joined her on the bed.

Outside, the soft lapping of the pond’s waters and the chirping of the crickets filled the night air.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nakago gazed at the sleeping form beside him and he pulled her close, enjoying the crush of her body to his. It had been a night of revelations. He had never imagined Leiren, his friend for so long, like this. At first, they had both been embarrassed feeling as though eyes watched them as their bare skin made contact but all of it disappeared soon after. They had made love for what seemed like hours and just remembering what transpired made him feel light-headed. He ran his hand through her hair -- it felt like newly spun silk. He saw her shudder involuntarily as he ran his finger down her spine, marveling at the softness of her skin.

He kissed her hair and laid her head on his chest. He knew the feeling building up inside him, a warm sensation that he had not allowed himself to feel since his family had been killed.

"Leiren," he whispered to her, "wo ai ni."

"Wo yeh ai ni."

Nakago started in surprise as Leiren opened her eyes and kissed him lightly. Apparently, she hadn’t quite been asleep after all. She smiled and snuggled close to him, safe within his embrace. For them, time stopped. All that mattered was that they were together.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The smoke in the room made his nose itch and Nakago resisted the urge to sneeze. It had been two months since he had last been in this room and the summons bothered him. He and the other soldiers had just finished their morning training when he was called to the emperor’s room. It made him uneasy even if the emperor had lived up to his promise. The usually closed curtains have been tied back and a cushion, obviously made for sitting had been place a few feet before the bed. Nakago wondered what it meant and stood in attention as the emperor entered.

"Welcome, Nakago, to the second stage of your education."

The emperor gestured for him to take off his armor and to sit on the cushion. He did so, and looked at him warily. The emperor clapped his hands once and a woman was ushered in wearing a dressing robe.

"I decided to kill two birds with one stone today," the emperor said, nodding at the woman. Nakago couldn’t make out her features because of the dim lighting. "Come here, Leiren."

Nakago watched in disbelief and horror as his lover stood in the light. Her hair was unbound and he could see that she was naked beneath the robe. She didn’t meet his pleading eyes, too ashamed. She knew only too well how painful this would be for him.

The emperor discarded her robe and laid her on the bed. He started kissing her and his hands explored her body. Nakago saw a solitary tear roll down her face and clenched his fists so hard, his nails drew blood. He watched in mute silence honed by military discipline as the emperor took advantage of her. Inside, his heart was crying for him to kill the bastard and save what was left of Leiren’s dignity and honor, but he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t afraid for his own safety because he knew that no harm will be dealt to a Seiryuu seishi, but Leiren... the emperor would kill her without a second thought.

He smiled grimly. Leiren wasn’t about to grant the emperor any satisfaction. All throughout, she refused to utter a sound, opting to keep her silence thus unnerving the man. That was something that Nakago always respected in her. Even as children, Leiren had nerves of steel and would go though on any dare that he placed before her.

Finally, it was over. The emperor rolled off her and into a sitting position. He wiped at the sweat beading on his body with a towel and gestured for Nakago to come closer. He saw Leiren breathing deeply, trying to get air back into her lungs, still refusing to look at him.

The emperor stood up and sat on the pillow that Nakago vacated. He took a sip at the tea that sat on a nearby table and gestured to the woman grandly.

"She’s yours, Nakago," he said, "now, I want to see if you’ve been paying attention."

This time, their eyes met. Nakago saw the horror in Leiren’s eyes turn into resignation. Both of them understood the consequences of disobedience.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Contact between Nakago and Leiren diminished for a while after that, both deciding that they needed to sort through some things. Two weeks after the incident, Leiren was at her mother’s rooms helping her sort through several boxes of items that had piled up over the years. Her mother was startled when Leiren dropped a brass vase she was carrying and was down on the floor clutching at her stomach.

"Leiren!" her mother cried as she rushed to her daughter. "What happened?"

"I... I don’t know," she whispered, as the older woman helped her stand. "I suddenly felt dizzy and my stomach started to hurt."

"What?" the woman said, feeling her abdomen, a look of suspicion coming to her. "When did you last bleed?"

"I-I don’t remember," she stammered.

"Have you been dizzy or nauseous lately?"

"Several times this week, why?"

"Leiren," her mother said, as she guided her to a seat. It wouldn’t do to surprise her while standing up. "I think you might be with child."

Leiren swallowed nervously at that while clutching her stomach. With child! Her mind raced and she saw the expression of concern on her mother’s face.

"It can’t be the emperor’s child," her mother mused. Leiren had told her what had happened when she saw how distraught her daughter was that day. "No, it’s much too soon to be that."

"It’s not," Leiren said simply. She looked squarely at her mother, and said, "it’s Nakago’s."

Leiren was afraid that her mother would get angry, but was surprised as she clutched her tightly. So, it looks like her mother would approve of having Nakago for a son-in-law.

"When are you going to tell him?"

"I don’t know," she said, excitedly, "I have no idea HOW I’m going to tell him."

"Whenever you do decide to tell him," her mother said, getting up from her seat, "I am sure that he will be ecstatic."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Nakago seems to be the favored leader of our army," the advisor said, as he sat with the emperor in his study.

"Yes, but that is exactly what you would expect from a Seiryuu seishi."

"But I do have concerns," the advisor said, hesitantly.

"Speak them."

"Well, it would seem that he is getting to be attached to that Leiren woman," the advisor said. "We all know well enough how many empires were overthrown because of the sweet words of a woman. I am only concerned since Nakago is gaining a good measure of political support. It might be that he might work to overthrow you and take over the kingdom."

The emperor thought about it and he started to put things together. The tender way that Nakago had made love to that woman, the way she responded to him.... <That would explain why she did not bleed when I took her!> The emperor’s blood started to boil. He would not let any woman be the cause of his empire’s downfall.

"Arrange for a gathering of all military leaders at sunset and arrest this woman for high treason."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nakago stood beside the emperor in the grand hall. The meeting had been sudden and no one knew the reason they had been called. Rumors circulated that a traitor had been found and will be made an example of in the gathering. When the last of the leaders entered the hall, the emperor spoke.

"I have gathered you all today to witness the execution of a traitor. Let this be an example of what will befall those who seek to bring down the emperor of Kutou Country."

Two guards brought in the prisoner clad in a hooded robe. Nakago wondered if the said traitor was someone he knew. He studied the walk and build of the prisoner. The person was too small to be a soldier, so he must be a member of the city council. The prisoner was brought to the foot of the stairs leading to the emperor and forced into a kneeling position. The soldiers pulled off the hood for everyone to see the traitor’s face. Nakago nearly toppled from his perch when he saw the person’s face.

Leiren!

"Charged with high treason, poisoning my most trusted soldier’s mind against me, threatening the stability of the country...." the emperor smiled evilly as he saw the hatred blazing in the woman’s eyes. "The penalty for your crimes in death." He shifted his gaze towards Nakago. "Execute her."

Although Nakago heard the command, his body refused to move. This was the woman for whom he would have given his life. He saw the soldiers force Leiren to bow and they shifted her hair to one side to bare her neck. Everyone looked at him expectantly but he still did not... no, could not move.

"This is the perfect opportunity for you to prove your loyalty, Nakago," the emperor whispered into his ear. "Show me that she had not turned you against me. You know you have no choice. If you do not, I’ll have you both killed. There will still be six seishi left, and I’m sure Seiryuu wouldn’t mind my executing a traitor to the country he guards."

Nakago pulled out his sword and walked down from beside the throne. With each step, he remembered -- the assault of the soldiers upon his clan, the rape of his mother, the smell of their burning bodies, their cries. That had been the end of his innocence and the beginning of his waking nightmare. He placed the tip of his sword under Leiren’s bowed head and lifted her face to meet his gaze. He wanted her to know that....

She met his gaze and mouthed out four words that only he saw.

Wo yeh ai ni.

I also love you.

He closed his eyes and raised his sword. His strike had been true and she was dead with that single blow. It was then that he saw her expression in death. She was smiling. In peace.

"Take the body away," the emperor said nonchalantly, as if he was telling a servant to clear away the dishes.

Nakago bowed and carefully wrapped the cooling body in the robe. The other leaders watched in morbid fascination as he carried her out of the hall, his face a grim, expressionless mask. He had died along with Leiren... only she had gone to a better place. He had been sent to hell.

<Know that you belong only to me,> the emperor thought as he watched Nakago’s receding form. <Know that you only live to serve me, nothing more, and I will not tolerate having you as a rival in anything.>

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nakago was lying quietly on his bed when he heard a quiet knocking on his door. He didn’t feel like seeing anyone, but he knew that he had to at least see who would visit him after the spectacle that afternoon. To his surprise, Leiren’s mother stood at the doorway.

He ushered the woman in and guided her to a seat at the room’s table. She looked uncharacteristically old and he couldn’t blame her. She had lost her only child. His grief at the loss of his lover could not compare to hers. He offered her some tea and they just stared at each other, both hardly willing to start the inevitable conversation. He reached out a hand and grasped hers tightly. He saw the tears forming in her eyes and he started to speak.

"I’m sorry," he whispered. "I know that I should die for what I have done..."

"I do not blame you, child, no," she said evenly while her tears fell. Nakago now knew where Leiren had gotten her silent courage, her strong will. "But I am sorry that you should hear about this only now."

Nakago looked at her, completely perplexed. What did she mean?

"Leiren never had the chance to tell you," the older woman said as her grip on his hand tightened. "You had unwittingly executed two people today, and know that I would give my own life if it would mean that you could have Leiren back."

Nakago looked at her in disbelief and the implications of her words began to sink in. He shook his head in denial as his grief threatened to tear him apart.

Leiren’s mother looked down and whispered, "Leiren was carrying your child."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nakago stood over the mound where Leiren and their unborn child slept. He had poured out all his grief on her mother and was now calm and composed. He had gathered a bouquet of pink peonies from the palace gardens and laid them on the grave. He remembered the sparkle in her eyes when she picked the flowers on the first day they had met.

He looked back at his life and cursed his fate. His entire race was killed for no better reason than being who they were. The one woman he had loved and who loved him back had been put to death by his own hands because of that love. These deaths demanded retribution and he would give them that. The man responsible for their deaths will fall and he will cry for mercy which he will never have. On the graves of those he had dared to love, he swore that the emperor will die by his hands.

With one last look at the grave, he walked away, the wind flowing through his cape and rustling the petals of the flowers he had left.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nakago closed his eyes at the recollection. It wouldn’t do him any good to show any weakness, least of all in front of Soi. Turning his back on her, he made his way back to Yui, or rather, Seiryuu No Miko, the girl from another world destined to call the protector of Kutou Country.

"Don’t concern yourself with such things, Soi," Nakago said in his usual cold voice. "We have a mission to fulfill and until then, we cannot rest."

With that he left a dejected Soi alone, the thought of his fast approaching revenge bringing a smile to his face.

--------------------- The End --------------------

original © April 1999 by Lady Aria

revised © April 2000 by Lady Aria