i've been looking for love in jersey, but i've come to a few conclusions. first off  that looking seriously is a bit of a farce. the harder i look the less i find. although for laugh factor it's turned into this running pythonesque joke thing.
    part of the running gag has to do with the second conclusion i've come to. that conclusion is that there are no single girls in the state of new jersey. ....well that's not totally true. what i mean is there are no girls who meet my criteria. it's not that i'm picky or anything like that. i'm looking for anyone really. while i would love a cute gothy girl (i did some math based on statistics, and there is one in new jersey who meets my standards and she's an ex of mine), i know it's a dream. the problem is every girl i find the slightest intrest in inevitably has what i call a t.u.g. problem. that's short for taken underage or gay (i would say lesbian, but gay makes for a better sounding acronym). it seems like everyone i meet falls under one or more of the three.
    before you get into ripping me up for my standards, hear me out...... underage i don't really care so much about within reason, but because of my line of work it's just not worth bothering for me if i find out someone's under 18..... taken is kinda obvious. i just can't be bothered with angry ex's or significant others. i already have enough stress without that. if i wanted someone pissed off enough to beat me senseless, i could probably talk a few of my students into doing it to me.... as for gay/lesbian, it's not that i'm against them, but come on. in my mind it's really demeaning to me and them to try to pick them up especially if i know i'm really not their type....
    don't get me wrong, it's not that i'm not looking. there's a few girls i've been flirting with but it's almost a game of beating my head against the wall. i flirt with them, they flirt back....i got to try to get further then the flirting, and it doesn't happen. i don't know if it's they don't think i'm serious,or if they're not serious, or if i'm being too subtle...in any event i aint getting no lovin.

update#1: chasing amys
     i actually got a hit on one of my personal ads this summer. the girl was pretty cool but she was an amy. the last one i dated really abused the hell out of me so i was a bit worried when i met this one. she turned out to be pretty cool. for our first date we met up in the city and walked around the cloisters. it was all terribley romantic, but there weren't any sparks between us. we talked for most of the time but didn't really seem to connect since our pop culture references were that far apart. but it's not like we hated each other either. anyway we both decided on a second date since maybe we were both just tired, which in all honesty i was.
     the second date on the other hand didn't go so well. we were both pretty awake, and the conversation was ok but we were still having the same problems. no spark and  we were thinking in different places. in itself it wasn't bad until we ran out of things to say. unfortunately the only thing we could thing of to talk about after the long uneasy pause was long uneasy pauses. after the next uneasy pause i did the only thing i could do, i tried to bow out gracefully and caught the next train home. i've been feeling like a jerk about it, but deep down i think it was better for both of us rather then trying to drag it out.
    anyway the whole thing's gotten me to thinking about my dating criteria. another addition i'm going to make for the girl i want to date is she needs to have around as much life experience as i have. don't get me wrong the girl was completely cool and i would recommend her highly to anyone who wanted to go out with her, but she wasn't at the right place to be the right one for me. i mean she hasn't even been through college yet (she was starting two weeks after our dates) and just has that much space seperating where we are in our lives right now. and for the record no, i didn't go looking to date a girl that young (18) she found me. in any event i'm saying it went well all things considered because it didn't crush my will to live and i'm looking forward to finding another.
                                                                                                                               -august 29, 2000

so, would you like to someday be an ex of mine? if so write or if you want something a bit more anonymous, there's always the personal ad to respond to (my ad's posted under the handle "independnt"). the personal ad's system lets me know your email address if you respond, so if you want it to be anonymous you can always set up a dummy email account at hotmail or something first..

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