Decisions
by Minako
Ok, I've fixed this up so that it doesn't hurt me as much. It still doesn't
really make any sense unless you know what goes on in the disturbed and
slashy depths of my mind, but that's ok. ^_^
Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi - it's not mine (not that you could
REALLY tell that it's a Ranma 1/2 fic without my telling you.)
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I feel for her. I know I do, just watching her this way.
She looks so innocent asleep, like an angel. I'm afraid to so much as
touch her, so I stay in the doorway. As I watch her, I wonder if this is
love: watching someone without needing anything from them.
No. I know a bit about love: I need something in return. I touch my
head lightly to the doorframe. 'She doesn't love you,' I remind myself, and I
know it's true - she's made *that* quite clear.
Arms snake around me from behind, and I try not to jump. A light kiss
at the base of my throat tells me who it is, and I lean into the embrace,
trusting the darkness to keep the others from knowing our secret.
"You love her, don't you?" the soft whisper against my ear causes
shivers to run down my spine. I shake my head, and try to speak around the
lump in my throat - I know what his question means.
"I don't know," I whisper hopelessly. The arms behind me tighten, and
I feel the lips on my neck again, along with a soft, disappointed sigh.
"Alright, then I'll wait." The warmth against my back and the arms
around me disappear, and I'm alone again. I shiver in the sudden cold, and
softly close her door.
That's love, isn't it? Waiting for me for so long. Giving me the time
to be sure. I want to be convinced I don't love her. I want to be told
there's no chance of it ever working - I want it to be that simple.
It's too painful this way. I know it hurts us both. But when I see
her... the questions come. 'Do I love her, or don't I?' I can't decide. I've
never been good at coming to decisions.
I know I love him. But... but...
The sign on her door blurs, and I refuse to believe that tears are
threatening.
It hurts. It hurts me every time he asks. Why do I do this to myself?
To him? To all of us?
One day, I'll accept the truth. I'll tell him that I don't love her
because she doesn't love me. One day, I'll make the most important decision
of my life... but not today.
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Yeah. Ryouga/Ranma/Akane - My favourite triangle. But Ryouga and Ranma need
to end up together in the end. ^_^ Yeah. It's from Ranma's POV, and he's
watching Akane, Ryouga's the other man. ^_^ You can go reread it with that in
mind if you didn't get it the first time. C&C are welcome -
daybreak_impression@yahoo.ca - kind crits are ok, but flames make me cry.
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