Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu, Ranma 1/2 to Rumiko Takahashi, Slayers
to Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi, Magic Knight Rayearth to CLAMP, Sailor
Moon to Naoko Takeuchi, and Rurouni Kenshin to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I claim no
right to their genius, just to my insanity...
-------
Hotaru sits and plays video games. Final Fantasy VII in fact. Good
taste, ne? She's sitting on the couch playing a save, only refusing to
progress in any which way. She just keeps running around killing cheap
monsters at Midgar (despite the fact she's SUPPOSED to be in Mideel) trying
to get a Paladin's ring.
But that is not the point now is it...
(Minako glares at the point... "You're not doing your job" she
informs it. The point holds up a sign that reads "I'm on vacation" Minako
sweatdrops. A Hawaiian necklace appears around the point's neck and Hawaiian
music begins to play. Minako blinks... blinks again, then shrugs. If that's
what the point wants, that's what the point gets she thinks to herself
evilly.)
-------
ANIME IN HAWAII
By Minako and 'Taru
Inspired by The Point.
-------
Tamahome sat back in the chair on the deck and grinned up at the sun.
He smiled. "This is the life..." He muttered. Someone knocked on the door. He
turned to face it "Y..." The door promptly hit him in the face as his
impatient visitor kicked it in. "Ta... su.... ki...." The ogre symbol
appeared on his forehead as he peeled the door off of his face and looked at
the doorway. Sure enough, Tasuki was standing in the doorway. "Ta... su....
ki...." The ogre symbol glowed. Tamahome slowly began walking towards Tasuki,
cracking the knuckles.
"Tamahome, wait na no da!!" Tamahome glared at Chichiri. "Miaka's in
trouble!!!" Tamahome's eyes narrowed.
"I'm... on... vacation.... Someone else protect Miaka." Chichiri and
Tasuki both sweatdropped. Tamahome glared at them. "You're Seishi too, YOU do
something."
"But...." Tasuki began. Tamahome glared at him. Hard.
"I think we should be going now Tasuki... na no da...." Chichiri
dragged Tasuki out of the room so that they could go save Miaka.
-------
Ten minutes later....
Tamahome sat back in the chair on the deck and grinned at the sun. He
smiled. "This is the life..." he muttered. The door he'd just finished fixing
was suddenly sliced into numerous pieces. He looked up.
"Aku. Soku. Zan." A man stood in the doorway with black hair that had
odd little fooshes in the front. He looked like someone who would scare
Nakago.
"A... a... ano...." He managed to stutter. Saitoh Hajime stared at
him for a long moment.
"Wolfums!!!" The voice came from somewhere down the hall. The man
looked down the hall, then back at Tamahome.
"I'll get you later." He said in a quiet voice that made Tamahome
hope he would forget to come. The man turned and began walking down the hall.
"I'm coming Tokio." He called. Tamahome sweatdropped.
-------
An hour later later....
Tamahome sat back in the chair on the deck and grinned at the sun. He
smiled. "This is the life..." he muttered. Someone came out of the room
sharing the deck with him. He glanced over to say hello... and screamed.
"Kowaiiiiiiiii!!!!! Taiitsukun is following MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" He screamed.
He was promptly whacked on the head by a stick many times larger than the
person weilding it. He blinked. Now that he thought about it... though she
looked about the same age as Taiitsukun, it definately wasn't. A violet
haired girl came out of the door, and he wasn't so sure. It was a Nyan-Nyan.
"Great-Grandmother, you ok?" The words were spoken in broken
Japanese.
Tamahome stared back and forth from the Nyan-Nyan girl to the
shrivelled up... thing.
"Yes, Shampoo, I'm fine." She poked Tamahome with her stick. "You
boy, who are you?" Tamahome blinked up at the woman.
"Tamahome...." He looked back and forth from the Nyan-Nyan girl to
the old shrivelled up woman.
"My name is Cologne, this is my Great-Granddaughter Shampoo. We will
be staying in the room next door." He looked at the Nyan-Nyan girl, now that
he thought about it... she did look a lot older than the Nyan-Nyan's he'd
met. "So, if your done screaming and cowering behind the chair, young man."
Tamahome realized that he was cowering and came out from behind the chair
very quickly, blushing.
"TAMA-CHAN!!!!!" The wall broke, in several places, numerous pieces
landing on the Nyan-Nyan girl, Shampoo.
"Shampoo!" Cologne hopped over to the pile of rubble to see if she
could find her Great-Granddaughter in it. Nuriko ran in through the hole in
the wall.
"TAMAHOME!!!!" He yelled. "Miaka NEEDS you!!! What are doing
lounging?!" Then he noticed Cologne. "Taiitsukun????" He asked, bewildered.
Shampoo FINALLY managed to dig her way out of the rubble. Shampoo glared at
Nuriko.
"Who are you?" She asked. Nuriko blinked.
"Uhhh... my name's Nuriko. Did I crush you with the wall? Sorry..."
He turned back to Tamahome. "ANYWAY Tama-Chan....???" He stopped short when
the girl came up and kissed him on the cheek. "Huh?"
"Nuriko... you I kill!" Shampoo attacked.
"Wha??!! AAAHHH!!" Nuriko frantically dodged the bonbouri. Tamahome
glanced over at Cologne.
"What's going on?" He asked.
"It's amazon law that when a warrior is beat by an outsider woman,
they must kill her." Tamahome glanced over at Nuriko, sure enough, he was
wearing one of those fancy dresses he wore in hopes that Hotohori would
notice him.
"Uh... that's a guy...." He said. Cologne looked over at Nuriko.
"HOTOHORI-SAMAAAA!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!" He yelled, running down the
hall and glomping onto said Emperor. Shampoo ran down the hall after her.
"KILL!!!" She yelled. Cologne turned and slowly walked back into her
room. Tamahome remained where he was. He twitched, twitched again, then
called room service and asked for some hard alcohol.
-------
The Next Morning...
"I have... *such*... a hangover..." Tamahome muttered to himself,
glacing at the empty bottles of hard whisky. "Urk."
"HEYYYY! Come back here with my chicken, YOU!" A semi-feminine voice
shouted from down the hall. Tamahome rolled over in his bed and hid his head
in his thick feather pillow.
"This chicken's rightfully mine! You stole my sardines!!!"
"Those sardines weren't nearly as big as that chicken! GIVE IT
BACK!!!"
The two voices continued to squabble.
Tamahome twitched, beginning to get annoyed.
"And what about that pineapple from two years ago?!"
"WHAT?!?!?!! You're *still* on about that?!"
"Of course I am!!!"
Tamahome began to growl.
"AND MORE IMPORTANTLY... THAT WAS MY LUNCH!!!"
"THAT DOES IT!!!" Tamahome screamed, throwing his pillow aside and
marching out the door.
A tall blonde man and a short red haired girl were tearing apart a
half-chicken with their teeth when Tamahome, the sign of the ogre glowing on
his head, stepped/marched out of his room.
"IF....YOU BOTH...DON'T SHUT UP... I'M GOING TO CHARGE YOU TWENTY
GOLD RYUOS A *MINUTE* FOR EACH MINUTE OF SLEEP I LOSE!!! DO YOU
UNDERSTAND?!!?!?!?!?!" he screamed at them.
The two paused, looked back at the chicken.
Simultaneously they reached into their pockets and threw some gold
pieces at him, then resumed tearing at the chicken.
"ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!" Tamahome cried out.
"ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!" Another man cried out, sounding remarkably
like Tamahome.
Tamahome paused in mid-arrrgh to turn and look at the... monster!
that had appeared at the end of the hall.
"Y...y...you..." Tamahome said, staring at the figure with metallic
hair and blue, rocky skin. "A... mon...."
"Would you two just be quiet for once?!" The monster-man said, still
not noticing Tamahome.
"Wha..." Tamahome said.
The metal-haired monster-thing looked over at Tamahome. "Hey..."
"You..." Tama-chan continued.
"Sound..."
"Just..."
"Like..."
"Me!!!!"
-------
Midorikawa Hikaru glared at the script. "Why do *I* get stuck doing
the double voice???" He asked himself. "I don't know." He answered. He
grinned. "At least I'm getting into character." He sat down in the recording
studio and began reading the script out loud.
-------
"Who are you???" Tamahome asked staring at the monster thing.
"I am a cold-hearted mystical swordsman named Zelegadis, who are
you?"
"I'm Tamahome, a Suzaku Seishi." Zel blinked, there was something
new.
"Why do you have my voice?" They asked at the same time.
"Guys, guys, keep it down, some of us are trying to have a relaxing
vacation here!!" The red head girl and tall blond man had finished the
chicken (not even leaving the bones), and were now lounging in patio chairs,
catching a tan.
"Lina... Gourry...." Zel growled.
"Mr. Zelegadis!! We're on a vacation, you shouldn't be so mean!!!" A
short black haired girl came in the room.
Xellos appeared, carrying two chocolate ice cream cones. "Let's
see... one for me... one for..." Xellos walked over to Zelegadis and
purposefully dropped the ice cream cone on his hair. Tamahome sweatdropped.
"Why... you..." A deep red fireball appeared behind Zelegadis as he
contemplated what he was about to do to the purple-eyed mazoku. He unsheathed
his sword.
"The Japanese Katana is still the best sword," said Saitoh, appearing
out of nowhere and glaring critically at Zelegadis' sword.
A shorter man with red hair walked up behind him. "Personally, I like
the sakabatou better."
"You would."
"Of course."
"Hn."
Tamahome felt weak in his knees.
"Errrrr..." he muttered.
Everyone stopped their bickering for a moment to look at him. "You
okay?" Zelegadis asked, Xellos' coller in his hand.
*THUNK*
Everyone stared at Tamahome, collapsed unconcious on the floor.
"He... he fainted?" Lina asked.
"Yeah..." Gourry agreed.
Everyone paused.
Then they resumed their bickering.
-------
Three Hours Later...
Tamahome opened his eyes very, very slowly.
A pair of blue eyes looked back.
"Uh... hi there!" the man with the blue eyes said, in a semi-surfer
dude voice.
"Yo..." Tamahome sat up, feeling a bit better. "Where am I?"
"Back in your room," the blonde guy said helpfully. "Zelegadis and I
brought you here. Lina's on another food rampage, but that can't be helped, I
guess... Oh yeah, I'm Gourry, a swordsman!"
"Tamahome... um... Seishi."
"A what? Sushi? No thanks, I've decided not to eat raw fish ever
since I found out about the bait..."
"What are you talking about?"
Gourry looked confused. "Sushi!"
"I'm a *seishi*!"
"Are you sure?"
Tamahome blinked. "Well, yeah?"
"No offense, Mister, but you still sound kinda drunk..."
"WHO SOUNDS DRUNK HERE?!"
Gourry looked at him blankly.
Tamahome put his hand to his forehead and sweatdropped. "I rest my
case..."
"Hey, you want anything to eat?"
"Um... yeah..." Tamahome looked around the room. "Hey, can you tell
me something?"
"Maybe. What?"
"Why in KONAN are there so many *people* here?!"
"You don't know?"
Tamahome shook his head vigorously. "Not a clue."
"Oh. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not to sure either. I know Lina
had a letter in the mail, from someone... ah... who was it? Toki? Takaki?
Tasuko? Taiitsiko? Aw, I knew before... Or maybe it didn't start with a T...
hm... Mitsuko? Mibosho? Amiboko? Mikoto? ..."
Tamahome felt his eyes begin to swirl. "Never mind."
"Anyways, Lina says its a vacation or something. It's a nice place,
anyway." Gourry stood up. "Well, I'm getting hungry, so I'll go find Lina
now. Get better soon, okay? Want me to pick up anything for you?"
Tamahome waved his hand. "No, but thanks. Pleasure meeting you,
Gourry-san."
"You too! Ja!" As Gourry left, Tamahome had the weirdest feeling he
looked like someone. Blond hair, blue eyes, a bishounen wearing blue armour
with a sword. He thought about it. Then shrugged.
"It could be anyone." He said to himself.
-------
An hour later...
Tamahome finally got out of bed. He heard a noise in his head like a
hammer hitting a nail over and over again. He shook his head to make it go
away. It was still there.
"AAAHHH!!!! That was my thumb!!!!" A girl's voice came drifting
through the wall. Tamahome blinked.
"Maybe you should let ME do that Hotaru-San."
"What's that supposed to mean???!!!" Tamahome blinked again.
"But, that's the sixth time you've hit yourself with the hammer...."
Tamahome sweatdropped.
"You be quiet!!" The Hotaru girl snapped. Tamahome blinked again. He
walked over to and then out the door. There was a small group of girls
standing around out side of his door. There was a stand set up and a short
girl with short black hair and purple eyes was standing on the top rung of a
ladder nailing a banner to the wall. The banner read: "The Ferio Fanclub Head
Quarters". Tamahome sweatdropped again. The short girl slammed the hammer
into her thumb for what, judging by the bruises on her hand, was not the
first time.
"IIIITTTTEEEE!!!!!" She yelled. She yanked her hand away from where
it was on the wall, tipping herself over backwards at the same time.
"Wha...!!??" She plummeted towards the floor. Tamahome stepped forwards and
caught the girl. She stared up at him. Blinked. Blinked again. And a large
question mark appeared above her head.
"FERIO-SAMA!!!!!" The words came in unision from all the girls,
except for the one he'd caught and a girl with short brown hair and glasses.
"You're not Ferio-San...." Was all she said. The girl Tamahome had caught
stood up and looked at Tamahome.
"Looks like you're right, Fuu. Must've been a false alarm." She bowed
to Tamahome. "Domo arigato for catching me." She turned to the girls who'd
stopped yelling, but were still standing around. "Alright girls!" She yelled.
"Looks like this was a false alarm, but he must be around here somewhere!!
Move out!!!" As one, the girls cleaned up the hall and left. Tamahome
sweatdropped.
"This trip just gets weirder and weirder..." He muttered to himself.
"Tell me about it," a voice whispered from behind the door.
"Eh?!" Tamahome went back into his room and peered behind his door,
which didn't talk last time he checked.
Behind the door, cowering, was a man somewhat resembling him with
green hair.
"Hey - who are ya?"
The man looked up. "My name is Ferrio - I'm the prince of a kingdom
called Cephiro."
"Those girls chasing you, hun?"
"Yep."
"Hm. They thought I was you, then?"
"Looks like it."
"Well... I could save myself some trouble by handing you over and
getting paid for it... but I feel kinda bad for you. I know what it's like,"
Tamahome said, suddenly playing up his ego.
Ferrio blinked. "Will you help me, then?"
"This is supposed to be my vacation... BUT..."
"But?" Ferrio asked hopefully.
"You said you're a prince, right?"
"Yeah.... so...?"
"SO...! If you pay me more to help you, then THEY would pay me to
hand you over, I think we could work out a deal!!!"
"THAT'S CRAZY!!! Do you know how much they'd pay?!"
"I think you're over-rated, myself...!"
"HEY! What's that supposed to mean?!" Ferrio said, fuming mad.
"YOU'RE the one with all the webpages! How many 'Ferrio Shrines' are there
out there?! You're 'the man' of Fushigi Yuugi!"
"Thanks. Okay, yeah... I guess I should help..."
"Well, what can we do?" Ferrio asked.
Tamahome closed his eyes, thinking. Then he opened one eye and
glanced at Ferrio. "We *do* have a deal, right?"
Ferrio nodded sadly. "Yeah yeah - whatever."
"Well, you could be killed and be reborn with your one true love,
but..."
Ferrio blinked. "Killed?! Isn't that a tad bit drastic?! Think of
something better - I'm paying top rate for this, aren't I?!"
"Hm. Okay. You dress up as me, and I'll dress up as you. I need gold
contacts, you need some silver ones."
"Me... go as you? Are you crazy?! They'll swamp you!"
Tamahome grinned happily. "Yeah. But unlike you, *I'll* enjoy it!!!"
"HEY!!!" Ferrio looked around the room desperately, then realized he
had lost. "Okay. But don't say anything to Fuu, okay? She'd kill me..."
-------
Twenty Minutes Later....
Ferio was Tamahome, Tamahome was Ferio. They judged each other in the
mirror.
"You're too tall." Muttered Ferio.
"There's nothing I can do about that." Ferio nodded. "Listen, here
they come!" In the distance a bunch of female voices could be heard chanting
Ferio's name.
"Ok, let's go." They both walked out the door, intending to go two
separate ways, Tamahome towards the girls, Ferio away from them. Nuriko was
standing outside the door.
"TAMA-CHAN!!!" He yelled.
"Ano... Nuriko, can this wait?" Tamahome asked.
"You be quiet, whoever you are." He said shoving Tamahome out of his
way to glower at Ferio. "Tamahome...." Nuriko growled. "I've been chased by
that girl for the last DAY trying not to be killed, my own love has abandoned
me, and if you'd just gone to Miaka like we told you to, NONE of this
would've happened." Ferio slowly backed away from Nuriko. Nuriko cracked his
knuckles.
Meanwhile, the Ferio fangirls had found Tamahome embedded into a
wall. 'Nuriko should learn his own strength' He thought to himself.
"FERIO-SAMA!!!! What happened to you??!!" Asked the fangirls on the whole.
Except for the one girl with the short brown hair and the glasses who was
blushing. She called him Ferio-San.
"Nu... ri... ko... strong...." Was all he managed. Hotaru turned to
face her troops.
"Listen up girls! Some person named Nuriko has injured our dear
Ferio. Will we let them get away with it??"
"NO!"
"Alright then ladies, let's get 'em!!!" Hotaru yelled, thrusting her
fist into the air. All the girls marched down the hall after Hotaru in search
of Nuriko. Except for the girl with the short light brown hair and the
glasses. She examined him for a moment, questioning.
"You've gotten taller Ferio-San....." She said absently. She looked
like she didn't want to go. She didn't.
Tamahome blinked. "Why," he thought to himself, "Oh why, did I decide
to go on this vacation? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYY!??!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!"
Fuu glanced at 'Ferrio' who was pounding his head on the floor.
"Ferrio-san? Are you alright?" Tamahome blinked up at her.
"Um... yes." He said. He stopped pounding his head on the floor and
noticed the real Ferio running down the hall with Nuriko at his heels.
"TAMAHOME!!!!" He yelled. Tamahome blinked. Blinked again. Then
started to laugh. Ferio stopped running and grabbed Tamahome by the front of
his shirt.
"Why... *pant*... you...." He glowered at him. Nuriko came up behind
Ferio.
"TAMAHOME...." Ferio glared at Tamahome.
"DO something!!" Tamahome shrugged.
"I was only SUPPOSED to get rid of the fangirls. They're gone."
"But... but..." Ferio stuttered. "This is YOUR problem!!" Tamahome
grinned.
"Not any more! Thanks!" Ferio twitched.
"There he is girls!!!" Hotaru and the masses of Ferio fangirls came
running into the room. "YOU!" yelled Hotaru, pointing at Nuriko, "YOU hurt
our beloved Ferio-Sama!!!" Nuriko looked confused.
"That guy?" He asked, jerking his thumb at Tamahome.
"YOU!!!" She yelled, pointing at the real Ferio, noticing him at the
mention of Ferio. "What are you doing to OUR Ferio!?!?!?" Ferio blinked.
"I... I.... ano...."
"We'll deal with you later!" Hotaru yelled at Nuriko, who was still
sweatdropping. "Troops, ATTACK!!!"
Ferrio (who was dressed up as Tamahome,) backed away. "Hey, no, wait
- we can talk about this - really - I - ack!!!!" he cried out as the girls
began hitting him with very large sticks.
In a minute, he lay unconcious on the ground. The girls then turned
to Tamahome.
"Look, Ferrio-sama.... we hurt the insulter! Now, please, come with
us!"
"Er... go with you *where*?" he asked, confused.
The girls grinned.
"Oh no..."
-------
Two Hours Later...
"This isn't *glack* how I *cough* wanted to spend my vacation...!"
Tamahome moaned. Before him was platter after platter of desserts, most of
which were being forcefully shoved down his throat.
"You mean, you don't like chocolate cake, Ferrio-sama?" the girl
named Hotaru asked.
"Well, no, it's not that..."
"Then, you LIKE it?"
"Well... yes... but you see, I'm really fu-"
"OH!!! Then eat more! Here you go, here you go!!!" The girls began
forcing more food down his throat.
'Death by chocolate,' Tamahome thought to himself, 'I guess there are
worse ways to go.'
-------
Across Town...
Gourry looked around the street, shielding his eyes from the bright
sun.
"Now where could Lina have gone? I just don't see her anywhere..."
A hand clapped down on his shoulder. "Gourry." Zelegadis said.
"Oh, hey Zel! Where you been?"
"At the restaurant over there - you left me with the bill!"
Gourry put his hand behind his head and laughed. "Oh, did I?"
Zel glared.
Gourry let his hand drop. "Sorry, Zel. I forgot."
"Well, it's alright, I guess. No luck finding Lina?"
"None."
"How was that green-haired boy this morning, anyways? Feel better?"
"Yeah, I think so."
A building across town where Zel and Gourry happened to be looking
burst into flames.
"Uh..."
"Yeah."
"That would be her."
"Let's go!!!"
-------
Back to Ferio...
Ferio lay unmoving on the ground. "uuuggghhh...." He moaned. He
hadn't known his fangirls were so... violent.
"Oh my, you're still unconscious here... uh... what was your name?"
Ferio looked up at Fuu, who was standing over him. He blinked.
"Aren't you one of the fangirls?" He asked. Fuu nodded. "Then why
aren't you with him?"
"Ferio-San's being so strange today," She blushed. "Nevermind..." She
said. "Are you hurt?" She asked him. Ferio blinked.
"Um... yes." Fuu stood up.
"Healing Wind!!" She yelled, casting the spell over Ferio. Ferio
suddenly felt... better. He grinned and stood up.
"Thank You, Fuu." He said to her. Then he left to find, and probably
kill, Tamahome.
Fuu blinked as she watched the boy walk down the hall. "I don't
remember telling him my name...." She muttered to herself.
-------
In Seemingly the Middle of Nowhere...
Someone wandered down the streets of Hawaii. He wore a long-sleeved
shirt and pants.
"Atsui...." He moaned. He grumbled something about someone named
Ranma.
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW??!?!??!??!" He screamed, walking down the
road in the direction he'd come.
-------
I know the spelling of Ferio's name seems to change
every five seconds in there, Taru spells it differently
than I do. That's why... yeah... C&C are welcome -
daybreak_impression@yahoo.ca - kind crits are ok, but
flames make me cry.
(
geocities.com/tokyo/club/Club) (
geocities.com/tokyo/club) (
geocities.com/tokyo)