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LAUGH
- OUT - LOUD
Treat yourself to a new way to enjoy Reader's Digest humor! These
tapes of classic comic stories, performed by an all-star celebrity
cast, are sure to tickle your funnybone and make you smile. All
you need to do is turn up the volume, listen, and laugh! |
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ALL
DAY'S IN WORK
AS A MEMBER
of the internal-audit division of a large hospital, I had to study
various departments to make sure that employees were following
proper procedures. Depending on how large the department was, this
task could be very time-consuming. I hadn't realized just how much
so until I placed a call to the section I was currently reviewing
and heard the receptionist tell her supervisor, "It's that
guy from eternal audit." --Contributed to "All In a
Day's Work" by K.B.M --------------------------------------------------
Television comedy
writers never hesitate to practice their trade on one another. I
was working on an NBC variety show with 11 other writers and made
the mistake of showing up in funny-looking saddle shoes. My
colleagues kidded me mercilessly. Finally, I thought a joke of my
own might stop the attack. "Sure, you can kid me if you
want," I said, "but these shoes were given to me by my
father on his deathbed." "What did he die of?" One
gagster replied. "Embarrassment?" --Contributed to
"All In a Day's Work" by Gene Perret
--------------------------------------------------
WHILE WORKING at a government research facility, I was assigned to
develop a prototype for a new project. After weeks of effort, I felt
my idea was ready for presentation to our design review board. I
asked another engineer for his opinion. "Well," he began,
"it's way over budget, probably won't meet the deadline and may
not even work." Then he added, "But I think they'll like
it!" --Contributed to "All In a Day's Work" by Joel
Speth
HUMOR IN UNIFORM
SOON after my military discharge, my
five-year-old son and his buddy asked to play with an old Army cot
that was in the garage. As I was helping them carry the cot outside,
I heard my son tell his friend, "He won this in the war, you
know." --Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by Dick
Smith
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SERVING WITH THE MARINE CORPS n Saudi
Arabia during Operation Desert Storm, my husband, Darren, was
selected for guard duty. One day he discovered that certain stories
about the Corps had been circulating among our allies. While
standing at his post, he noticed that the Saudi on duty with him was
watching him out of the corner of his eye. Every time Darren looked
over, the Saudi would glance away. Finally the soldier nervously
asked, "Have you ever killed a member of your own family?"
Taken aback, Darren laughingly replied, "No." "Well,
then," questioned the Saudi, "how did you get into the
Marine Corps?" --Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by
Catherine Smith
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WHEN I WAS 11 years old, my father, an
Army colonel, was stationed in Europe. After planning a last-minute
trip to Greece, our family of five raced off to Rhein Main Air Base
in Frankfurt. We arrived in the departure lobby, where entire
families were waiting for the next available flight. To their
annoyance, we were put at the top of the passenger list because of
my father's rank. We were also first to board the military cargo
plane. The weary people in line behind us groaned as my father
marched toward the only five cushioned seats in the aircraft. Then
he hesitated and moved on to the seats used for carrying troops.
"Make yourselves comfy, kids," he boomed. "This is
how we fly in the Army!" Suddenly smiles appeared on the rest
of the passengers' faces, and my father was the toast of the flight.
--Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by Erin Y. Lynch
Reference : readersdigest.com
Copyright 2001 ~Readerdigest~
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CAMPUS
COMEDY
IT
WAS EXAM WEEK at Biola University, a Christian college in
La Mirada, Calif. The professor in a New Testament class
distributed the exam to his students, and then left the
room. Fifteen minutes later, the students were startled by
a small earthquake. Immediately the professor returned.
"All right," he demanded, "who
cheated?" --Contributed to "Campus Comedy"
by Les Duncan
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DURING MY POST-GRADUATION job search, I was chatting with
an elderly acquaintance who recalled that when he was
first employed, he had to wear not only a suit and tie but
a hat. He told this story: By the late '40s, I was in
charge of interviewing college seniors for positions with
our firm. Once I had some young men lined up in the hall
waiting to talk to me. As each one entered my office, he
put his hat on the hat-rack. Upon leaving, he would pick
up the hat and walk out. After several interviews, I
thought it was odd that all the boys had exactly the same
taste in headgear. I got up and opened the door just in
time to see the hat being passed to the next in line. You
know," the man said wistfully, I considered that the
end of an era." --Contributed to "Campus
Comedy" by Diane P. Kerkhoff
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MY MUSIC-HISTORY PROFESSOR at the University of Kansas at
Lawrence was lecturing about an early-16th-century
composer whose work was based on the church year. He
interrupted his lecture to ask, "Does anyone know who
decided when the seasons of the church year were to start?
In other words, who decided when Advent and Lent
begin?" Our only responses were blank stares.
"Anyone?" he asked again. One brave student
raised her hand and ventured, "Hallmark?"
--Contributed to "Campus Comedy" by Jill C.
Etter
LIFE IN THESE UNITED STATE
THE STAFF at the office where my wife
works was hosting a farewell luncheon for a retiring
colleague. As the group prepared to go to the restaurant,
they found that they couldn't fit the giant balloon they
had purchased for the guest of honor into the car.
Undaunted, they simply held the balloon out the window as
they drove. My wife and her co-workers weren't prepared
for the glares they received from passers-by. As the long
line of traffic in front of their vehicle began to turn,
they saw that their car was right behind a funeral
procession. There was nothing they could do but hold on to
the balloon with its farewell message: "Gone but not
forgotten." --Contributed to "Life In These
United States" by David W. Voegel
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AFTER A VERY HECTIC DAY, my husband came
up behind me, put his arms around me and said,
"Happiness is being married to you." Not really
paying attention, I muttered, "Okay, honey."
Later he asked me if I remembered what he had said, and
was disappointed when I didn't. "All right,
then," I retorted, trying to get even. "What was
the nicest thing I ever said to you?" "I
do," he answered without hesitation. --Contributed to
"Life In These United States" by Theresa P
Campanella
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A
co-worker, an avid horsewoman, persuaded several of us to
go horseback riding with her. After a quick lesson at the
stable, we set off on a trail ride. An hour into the trip,
many of us were quite uncomfortable from the bouncing.
During a rest stop, one fellow gingerly rubbed the sore
area. "What I don't understand," he said,
"is why cowboys call people like us tenderfeet."
--Contributed to "Life In These United States"
by Janie Harting
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