Balance
by
Akuma
"Are you afraid
of me?" a soft voice asked hesitantly. "You should be,
you know. You're too trusting. I
could kill you, and you'd never even know."
A pause.
"You won't."
"Are you so sure? Because you must know, I'm very jealous of him."
"You won't, Yukina-chan,"
he repeated surely. "Not because you can't,
but because it would upset him.
And you would never do anything to upset
him, would you?"
"No," she said
sadly. "Nothing. Not like you. You're braver than I.
I'd be too afraid he'd leave me
and never return." She gave a sad little
smile. "I'd die if that happened,
after all the time it took him to find me
in the first place."
"I know," he comforted.
"And I know you hate me with every breath of
your being," he added suddenly,
breaching the subject neither of them had
ever discussed before. "It's entirely
mutual, you know."
"I know," she
returned softly. "You're as jealous of him as I. But I
don't know why you don't kill me."
"It's because
of Kuwabara-kun," he told her. "Because he loves you at
least as much as you hate me. It's
something pure, and I wouldn't want to
ruin it." He looked up at the starless
night sky. His blood-red hair looked
black in the darkness, and his emerald
eyes were mere grey. "It's too rare,
a love so perfect and unsullied
as his." His lips twitched in a humorless
smile. "Even if it isn't returned."
She bowed her
head. "I am selfish," she said. "I can't bring myself to
feel any emotion toward him. Only
toward…"
"Yes," he agreed. "But it's all right to say his name. Hiei."
"Hiei," she murmured
softly, so softly he barely heard her. For an
instant, her face was filled with
unguarded longing.
"What are your
true feelings toward him?" he asked curiously. "Besides
jealousy, I mean."
"Why, I love him, of course," she responded in surprise.
"I know that," he said wryly. "But how?"
"The same way
you do. The same way my mother loved his father." She
sighed softly. "But that's only
natural, even if my feelings aren't
returned. He looks exactly like
his father, and I ...I am exactly the same as
my mother."
"Oh?" he prompted when it didn't seem she'd go on.
"I am a copy of
my mother, who was a copy of hers, and so on. We are one
individual, in a way. Every Koorime
is a copy, these days. Only the Elder
Mother is an 'original,' if you
will. And since I am a copy of my mother,
born after she fell in love with
his father, my feelings for him are the
same."
"And yet...the
two of you are related by blood," he pointed out. "Even if
you are a clone of your mother--memories
and all, which I've never heard of
in a clone before--he is a natural
child, born the same way as any youkai.
His looks may be entirely his father's,
but your mother's blood still flows
in his veins."
"Our minds are
shaped in utero," she murmured in explanation. "And I'm
well aware of his...of Hiei's heritage.
Why do you think I don't tell him I
know the truth?"
"I had wondered," he agreed. "I should tell him myself."
"You won't," she
said certainly, echoing his earlier statement. "That
would destroy this balance we've
found. We would have to kill each other,
and that would upset him. Destroy
him, perhaps."
"Yes," he said, and they both fell silent for a time.
"You know, it's
funny," he remarked, breaking the silence. "Under other
circumstances, we might have been
friends.
"You think so?" she asked curiously.
"Truly, we have
a great deal in common," he affirmed. "If it weren't for
the fact that with both love him
so much we can't stand others loving him as
well--"
"Oh, I don't mind
that," she interrupted. He looked startled, his huge
eyes widening further.
"No?"
"No. I mind when
he shows feelings for someone else. Because he so
seldom shows feelings at all. I
think that must be true of you, also."
He thought about
it. "Perhaps," he agreed finally. "Though I always
have been possessive. I'm not even
fond of my stepfather or my stepbrother."
"You don't hate them as much as me."
"My feelings for
Shiori are of an entirely different nature. One's
mother may mate with another; one's
own mate had better stay home."
"You aren't mated to him!" she flared.
"No, you're wrong,"
he returned calmly. "*He* isn't mated to *me*. It
makes no difference to *my* status."
"You will *never*
have him for a mate," she said flatly. "If you even
try to seduce him, I will kill you.
Or worse."
"You needn't make
threats," he told her. "If Hiei comes to me, it will
be entirely of his own free will.
And if he does, you'll simply have to
accept it."
She stiffened. "He won't," she said coldly. "Ever."
"He might," he
countered. "And that would threaten all your dreams,
wouldn't it? I'll not turn him down
for your sake, Yukina. No matter what
you threaten to do. Because I know
if he comes to me, you'll never be able
to cause me direct harm. Not without
upsetting him."
"If he goes to
you," she told him, "I won't care any longer, about
upsetting him."
He looked at her a long, cynical moment. "Bitch," he finally said, calmly.
"Harlot," she returned ever so sweetly.
"I think it's
time we relieve each other of our presence," he said
stiffly. She nodded sharply and
swept into the darkened dojo. He turned and
walked slowly down the long staircase
to the street.
The fragile balance
held for another night.
~Owari~
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