Two Hearts Beating As One
by
Akuma
From the first moment there were two of us, our hearts beat as one.
Well,
that might be to be expected; we *were* sharing a womb, after all.
I have
never had a chance to meet any other twins and ask if it was true for them,
too. Certainly there were none among my people--it was a thing never
mentioned, not even in the ancient medical records. I should know;
I became a
healer so I could find out.
It may be natural for the hearts of twins to beat in time within the womb.
The extraordinary thing is that, no matter how far separated we are, our
hearts *still* beat as one. I know my brother is still alive because
I can
feel his heart beating with every pulse of my own. I know when he's
in
danger; I know when he's injured; I know when he's asleep. My own
heart tells
me all these things.
That's why I'll never give up looking for him, not until I die. I
know his
heart. I know his soul. But--who is he? I don't know
his face. And I want
to, so badly! I want to know what my brother looks like, to have
that final
part of him to think of when I go to sleep at night. And I want to
know . . .
I want to know what's caused him each of the pains that scar his heart.
I
want to know about every triumph he's had. I want to know what's
caused every
tear, every smile, every joy and sorrow.
I want to know who he's in love with. I want to know if she's worthy
of him,
if she loves him, too. I want to know if she can end the deep, aching
loneliness in him . . .
Shizuru-san sticks her head in the door after a quick knock. "Yukina-chan,
are you ready for the picnic?" she asks me. I shake off my thoughts
and
smile, searching under the bed for my shoes. Somehow, they always
manage to
get away from me under there, and I haven't quite figured out why.
Maybe it's
Eikichi? He likes the laces.
"Hai," I say when I finally find them. I scramble to my feet and
trot out
the door with Shizuru-san. As I sit down and put my shoes on at the
front
door, Shizuru-san yells up the stairs to Kazuma-san.
"Kazuma! Get down here, or Yukina-chan and I will leave without you!"
Kazuma-san comes running at top speed. I giggle as he overshoots
the top of
the stairs and Shizuru-san rolls her eyes. Kazuma-san catches the
edge of the
wall and manages to change direction, but he stumbles and falls down the
stairs.
"Oh! Kazuma-san! Daijobu desu ka!?" I gasp, clasping my hands
over my
mouth. I run over to him, heedless of the rules about shoes indoors,
and
kneel beside him. I worry so much about dear, sweet Kazuma-san.
He always
seems to be getting into these kinds of accidents. I'm afraid one
day, he's
going to really hurt himself badly.
"H-Hai!" he squeaks. I frown as his temperature rises, causing his
cheeks to
flush. Shizuru-san once explained to me that ningen often have this
reaction
when they are embarrassed, but it still worries me. Among the Koorime,
such a
drastic rise in temperature indicates very serious illness, possibly fatal
illness.
"Oh, get up, Kazuma!" Shizuru-san scoffs. "We're going to be late--put
your
shoes on so we can *go*!" I am relieved to see the flush fade from
Kazuma-
san's cheeks as he sits up to put his shoes on. My healer's vision
reveals no
injuries larger than small bruises, which will be gone soon. I don't
believe
Kazuma-san even feels them. I am tempted to heal them, anyway, but
I am not
sure that would be the right thing to do. Would it seem terribly
forward? I
don't want to disgust Kazuma-san. His opinion is very important to
me.
I dismiss the incident as we leave for Genkai-shihan's temple. I
have more
important things to think about. Will Hiei-san be there? I
hope so. I truly
do. I need to speak to him, to ask him about my brother. And
. . . and I am
torn between hoping he has found my brother and hoping he hasn't.
I am ashamed of myself for this feeling. I want to find my brother,
truly I
do! But . . . I'm afraid that, after I've found him, Hiei-san will
go away,
and I'll never see him again. I wouldn't like that at all.
I care very much
about Hiei-san. Sometimes I wish *he* were my brother.
Perhaps I can ask him this time if he'll be my surrogate brother.
I thought
of that idea several months ago, but I'm not sure how to ask it.
Besides,
what if he doesn't want a sister? What if he thinks I'm a bother?
I know
he's helping me, but is it because he likes me, or because he gave his
word?
Maybe I should ask Kurama-san first. They're best friends, aren't
they? Or
maybe more. I suspect it's more, but I know so little about things
like
that--I could easily be wrong. But Kurama-san could tell me if Hiei-san
would
like the idea of being my surrogate brother.
"Daijobu desu ka, Yukina-san?" Kazuma-san's voice interrupts my thoughts.
I
jump a bit. I am startled to realize we have already reached Genkai-shihan's
temple.
"Hai," I respond, lowering my eyes in embarrassment. I was so lost
in my
thoughts, I think I must have been a bad guest. Kazuma-san smiles
at me,
trying to make me feel better, no doubt. I wish I was more certain
of the
rules here, but . . . the Koorime rarely interact with outsiders, even
women,
and I was never taught how to go on in company.
My eyes instinctively search for Hiei-san and Kurama-san as we enter the
temple grounds. I see Kurama-san standing near a tree, laughing and
chatting
with Yuusuke-san and Botan-san. My eyes travel upward, in time to
catch Hiei-
san watching Kurama-san with a strange expression I don't quite understand.
His eyes swivel to look at us, and mine meet them. I smile happily.
Hiei-san looks away sharply, and I frown a bit. Have I offended him
with my
smile? Is it inappropriate? I'm so inept at these things!
But then Kurama-
san and Botan-san greet us, and I forget the incident.
It's in the middle of our picnic that we are attacked. The creatures
are so
big, so scary--I can't help myself, and I scream. I duck for cover,
along
with Shizuru-san and Keiko-san. I'm so frightened, I don't know what
to do.
On the Floating Island, the only ones I ever saw were other Koorime; even
after several years of living in Ningenkai, I'm unused to these differences.
And I know I have so little youki to defend myself with--and even that
I must
reserve in case one of the others is hurt.
"Yukina, look out!"
I stumble back from Shizuru-san's shove. I scream as a large section
of
Genkai-shihan's roof falls right where I was standing, barely missing me.
That was close! I scramble behind the debris, hoping to use it for
cover, and
discover Shizuru-san has been trapped by it. Her leg is pinned under
the
edge. I feel ashamed; if it weren't for me, she would not have been
in the
way.
"Yukina-chan, help me lift it up!" Keiko-san gasps, heaving at the rubble.
I
nod and throw myself into it. As a youkai, even one as weak as I
am, I'm
stronger than a ningen, so we two are able to lift the rubble enough for
Shizuru-san to pull her leg free.
Keiko-san and I both let the roofing fall and turn to Shizuru-san.
She is
pale, but composed, even though my healer's vision shows me her ankle is
broken. "Hold her still," I command Keiko-san. About this I
am not unsure.
I'm in my element as a healer. I kneel and put my hands on Shizuru-san's
injured ankle.
She tenses and arches her back. I am trying to use as little youki
as
possible, which means I can't soothe the pain away as I normally would.
I am
only dimly aware of the battle raging on behind us. I sense someone
behind
me, but he is drawn off, so I continue to ignore him.
I feel a strange flicker in my chest. I freeze, chills running down
my
spine. *No!* That little flutter is the same I have always
felt when my
brother is injured. But something is worse about this. It's
not the slight
flutter of pain--it's far, far worse. "Oniisan," I whisper.
I hear a strange rushing in my ears, making every other sound fade.
I feel
as if time has slowed as I spin. I barely hear Keiko-san's concerned
voice
calling my name as I stand. *NO!* My heart is breaking!
"*ONIISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!*"
I barely register the anguished wail as my own as I cast myself forward.
Heedless of the danger, I race to Hiei-san's side. He has fallen,
a horrible
gaping hole in his chest. His face is twisted in shock as I gather
him into
my arms. "Don't go!" I plead. "Don't go! Please!"
I place my hands on his
chest, right over the wound.
It's futile, I know. There's no way I can repair such extensive damage.
Not
even if I had a thousand times the youki I do. His heart has been
sliced to
ribbons. His lungs are damaged, and so are his ribs. Even his
spine has
received a glancing blow. He was dead from the moment he was struck
down.
"Yukina," he murmurs. "Don't." His voice is gentle, but his
hands tremble
as he pushes mine away. "You can't."
"Oniisan--" I whisper in a trembling voice.
"Iie," he responds. "It's too late." He sounds calm.
He doesn't seem to
mind dying. I feel a tear sliding down my cheek, crystallizing as
it falls to
the ground with a dull tink. "Go . . . gomen . . . Yukina . . . I
should have
. . . told you . . . "
More tears follow the first. I make no effort to stop them.
"Daijobu," I
reassure him. "Daijobu desu. I . . . "
"S . . . Sayonara . . . imouto-chan . . . " His voice trails off
in a soft
sigh as his eyes drift shut. With an anguished wail, I bury my face
in his
chest, unheeding of the blood.
But there's still something I have to do. I raise my head.
My face is set
with determination, streaked with blood and tears. Still clutching
my
brother's body close, I gather my youki.
It's surprisingly easy. I have never used my abilities as a weapon
before,
but I know exactly what to do. With cold precision, I target the
most painful
and vital areas of each of the youkai who attacked us. I close my
eyes and
release all my youki with a vengeful scream.
My scream is echoed by my victims. Only theirs are screams of agony.
Relentlessly, I continue to freeze their internal organs until they shatter
from the cold. Only when the last of them is dead do I cease.
There is a
shocked silence.
I don't care.
I *can't* care.
Where once beat two hearts as one, now there beats none.
~Owari~
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