Hello. My name is Petra, an avid Weezer fan and one of the many people
having an er... "relationship" with Rivers. I'm still not completely
comfortable with sharing this with the world, partly because there's so
many emotions involved, people tend to be quite harsh in judging me
about this as well.
I'm writing this for two reasons; to get this off my
chest and to spread the word about this guy. I'm not out to bash Rivers,
to incriminate him, or anything like that, I merely wish to share this
to help other people. This is completely true and honest story, I'd
never make anything like this up. So here it goes.
Weezer has been my favorite band since Pinkerton came out two years ago.
I've always been a sucker for Rivers' lyrics, his looks, his charm, and
personality. I aways had a goal to meet him as well as the rest of
Weezer, and it became rather obsessive, bootlegs, shirts, posters,
pictures, you name it, I have it. Anyway, I stayed in line for three
hours to get my Weezer tickets along with my friends. It was with No Doubt,
but hey, it's Weezer. I made it my goal to meet these four individuals.I
figured that I had a decent shot considering I live in a rather
un-Weezer town.
The concert was awesome, needless to say. During No Talent, we got up
and snuck down to a lower seat level on the side. A friend of a friend
was one of the Guards, so he let us in when we smiled at him. I saw a
roadie dealing with a crowd of equally excited Weezer fans and told us
to wait around and we'd get to meet the band. Twenty minutes later the
guy comes up to me.
"What's your name? Are you Asian? Would you like to meet Rivers?" he
asked me. I answered all three and he told me that I'd definetly get
back stage. Me, being rather naive, was excited.
The guy gathered a group of girls, a few Asian, and took a few guys to
balance out the crowd, and we got to meet the guys. Rivers immediatly
talked to the flirtatious Asian girls, signed ther stuff, etc. I met Pat
for a minute, and was talking to Brian and Rivers actually came up to me and
asked me if I wanted an autograph and let me get a picture taken with
him. He put his arm around me without asking and my friend took the
picture. then he started asking me questions. "What's your name? Where
do you go to school? How old are you?..." there were a few other girls
in the same conversatrion. he seemed equally interested in us all. I was
completely eating this up, he was actually talking to me! he had an
interest in me! Damn, he's so nice and charming and funny! My knees felt
like jello, and my heart thumped in my chest so that my entire body
vibrated.
My friends didn't get any special attention and left, and I
figured I'd just hitch a ride later. Pretty soon, everyone else was
realizing Rivers' intentions. He was getting rather drunk, slamming
beers and getting more obvious after each one. Pretty soon, it was just
me and him talking about Kiss and guitars, he was impressed that I
played and asked me a lot about school and my writing and drawing. The
thing that bothers me so much is the fact that he seemed so genuinely
interested in me, no one else really felt like that before.
"You want to come back to the hotel with me?" he asked abruptly. This
completely baffled me, not like I didn't see it coming or know what his
intentions were.
"Sure." I said. He kissed me righ there too, I guess like a test or
something. Then he started asking me questions about my nationality and
such. And we got back to the hotel room, which was like forty miles from
my house, and he just completely came onto me, not even talking that much any
more.
Why I even was there, I don't know.
Why didn't I loeave? I don't know.
Why did I let him do this to me? I don't know. Truth is, I was really
young, I still am. I was a virgin, I'd never really had anyone like me,
especially not a rock star or a nice, charming guy like Rivers. I'd
probably never get another chance. For some reason, I thought Rivers
liked me back, he saw some unique quality in me, he really thought I was
a great human being.
Yes, I'm a naive girl, and I completely made the wrong decision.
And so it happened. Simple as that. No elaborate details needed.
And the second I realized what I was doing, I felt nausious. My guts
ached and I completely shut down. We talked for little bit, I think he
realized what I was thinking and decided not to trouble himself with it,
and slept through his drunkeness. I fell asleep somehow, and woke up in
his arms when the wake-up call sounded.
"You might want to get out of here," was the first thing he said to me.
Suddenly, it hit me again, lyrics of Tired of Sex went through my mind,
thoughts of every concievable problem, and I started crying right there.
He just looked at his feet, really ashamed and hung over, trying to
hand me my things to get me out.
"Look, I liked meeting you." he said, trying to cover it up. I looked
right at him and asked him if he remembered my name, and he didn't. So I
screamed at him, threw every name in the book at him, and took a forty
dollar taxi cab ride home, crying the whole way.
He didn't care. He didn't have a clue to what I was feeling or how much
damage he did to me. Not like I expected him to marry me or anything,
but he could have remembered my name, he shouldn't have manipulated me,
he could have been more sincere in the morning. He sent a roadie out to
find asian chicks, how low is that. Here I was, just another one of
these girls that he's toyed with.
And I know he went on the next city with another vunerable girl, and
made her feel as bad and low as i did. Yeah, it's not all his fault, I
did consent, but the concept baffles me. I know it's not uncommon for
rock-stars to do this, but it hurts so fucking much. I still cry about
it. I get nervous whenever a guy touches me. I have so many insecurities
and phobias taht he left me with. I can't even listen to Weezer without
feeling sick. I heard the song "Baby" and cried for three days straight.
I know how much this hurts, and I don't want to hear another story about
him doing this to someone else.
So girls, tell him to keep his dick in his pants. No matter how sweet,
charming, and otherwise perfect he may seem, no matter what lyrics he
sings, the guy needs to be stopped. He's like a sex vampire.
So that's my story, lif you don't like it, hard cheese. I don't think
this makes me a slut, or a Rivers basher or a bitch, just another
fucking statistic.
And Rivers, if you ever happen to read this. My name is Petra, got it
now? Remember it this time.