Authored by Godsend777
Based off of GAINAX's creations.
No posting without permission.




Eva-00 parried poorly against Eva-02's attacks.  Soon, the red Eva would knock
her progressive knife out of her hands, and then it would be over.  Sure enough,
Eva-00 was flat on its back, and Eva-02 went about the gruesome task of
dismembering her hated co-worker.  Blood, guts, and all the other stuff you saw
in Episode 18 flew about.  Then, Eva-02 came about its prize: Eva-00's entry
plug.  Eva-02 plucked Rei out of it, and held her close to the Eva's face.

"You'll never crawl in bed with my Shinji again.  EVER."  Asuka said
through her speakers.  Somewhere in the distance, she could hear Misato's voice
call her name.

"N-no." Rei said fearfully.

"Oh, yes."  Asuka replied; her smile now suspiciously wolf-like.  She
squeezed Eva-02's fist, and Rei let out a final blood-curdling scream as her
life winked out of existence.

"Asuka!"  Misato screamed.

"Huh?"

"Get up!  We're back from shopping!"  Misato said cheerfully.

"Oh, yeah..." Asuka said as she stretched in Misato's car.  'What a
wonderful dream...'




STRANGELY DARKFIC PART 2
 "All of you!  Mosh like you want to win!"




Asuka and Misato walked into Shinji's room to get him to make dinner.  When they
saw the scene, Misato blew her top, Asuka blew up, Shinji blew his load, and
Ritsuko passed out from exhaustion.

Just as Asuka walked over to strangle Shinji for cheating on her, she kicked
Misato's Keg-O-Matic 5000.  Realizing that her precious Shin-chan would never do
this intentionally, she picked up Ritsuko.

Thankfully Misato had exited the room and Shinji had passed out again from
drunkenness, because what followed is something so violent and disgusting, not
even I can write it.




Rei and the writer made their way up to the writer's apartment.  As they
carefully stepped over the random drunks in the hallway, they made small talk.

"You live here?"  Rei asked.

"Uh-huh.  This is where all the magic happens."  The writer said as he
veered away from a puddle of vomit on the ground.

"Mm-Hmm... Magic, yeah."  'Whatever.' Rei thought, veering away from
said puke puddle as well.

The writer unlocked the door to his apartment and led Rei inside.  What she
found, however, was not what she expected.  Sure, the Asuka-02 operating system
(no, not Axel's website) was in the corner on the desk, but before it was... the
writer?  And he was chained to a chair?

"A-HA!!"  Rei deducted.  "You're not the real writer!  You're
actually-" But she was silenced as the faux writer bitch-slapped her
unconscious.

"Oh, geez.  Why did you have to go and do that?  Do you know how many
people are already on my ass for treating Rei poorly as it is?"  The real
writer said.

"Silence.  I have no time to waste on a petulant child.  Especially one who
has betrayed me."  The faux writer reached up and removed the latex mask
that was covering his face.  Sure enough, it was Gendo.

"Not my fault she betrayed you..." The writer mumbled.

"Actually..." Gendo said as he removed a small handgun from his
pocket.  "It is."  He fired a few shots into the writer's chest,
effectively ending his life.

Gendo blew the smoke from his gun, cowboy style.  

"I promised to make this world a darkfic and/or lemon if they didn't stop
their pathetic attempts to defy me.  Now, it seems that it is time.  I have
already set the stage for a darkfic.  Then..." He smiled happily, drool
gushing out of his mouth, "THE LEMON!!!"

Thoughts of Ritsuko XXXXXXXXing his XXXXX came to mind, and Misato XXXXXXing him
as well.  Then Yui and Rei XXXXXXing each other, while Asuka and Maya XXXXXed
themselves.  Soon, life would be good.  

"Mmmmm... Yuitsuko..." he drooled.

The writer, realizing that this might turn out to be worse then a DJ Croft
story; nay, worse than any work by Anthony Duatano, barfed in death.

"E-Eva... A World T-twisted... my ass..." He groaned, prompting Gendo
to pump a few more rounds into him.

Gendo looked down at Rei, smiling with satisfaction at what was going to happen
next.


Several hours later, Rei screamed inwardly in pain and fear as Gendo went about
the gruesome task of 'Take Your Daughter To Work Day.'  Rei hated shaking down
small nations for cash.




Meanwhile, one severely bruised Ritsuko smiled at Asuka and Misato with a
toothless grin as she outlined her plan.

"...And that's why I was XXXXXing Shinji."  She finished, then gummed
down another piece of toast.  

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  THIS IS ALL WONDERGIRL'S FAULT!!!!  I'LL KILL
HER!!!"  Asuka screamed.

"Well, I'm off for dental surgery."  Ritsuko said as she left, leaving
Asuka to fume.  Misato waved 'bye' and removed another beer from her Dimensional
Beer Hole(tm).  

"Actually, Asuka, I'm worried about Shin-chan.  What if he has alcohol
poisoning?"

"Oh, man.  Let's get him to NERV hospital."  Asuka suggested, thereby
allowing another scene change.




"So, Rei, did you enjoy today's activities?"  Gendo asked as he
counted the money in his hand.  "1 billion US smackers... not bad..."

"Gah.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to get bloodstains off of this
'Ghost In The Shell T-Shirt!'  Especially those caused by an exploding
ATField!"  Rei pouted.  "It's just not fair..."

"Ah, well.  At least we made some cash today!"  

"Hey, 'daddy.'"

"Yes, my little ATField wielding sweetheart?"

"Dad!  I hate it when you call me that!"

"Sorry, Rei.  What is it?"

Rei stopped in her tracks, and looked down to the ground.

"Were you serious about me getting Shinji earlier?  I mean, if you're not,
I'll have to put you back from where you came..."

"Rei..." Gendo said, reverting back to his cold tone.  "If you
want that little wuss, he's all yours."

"..." Rei '...ed.'

"..." Gendo '...ed' back.

"I... love Shinji.  Even if I can't have him, I love him..."

"So?" Gendo said, not quite getting the point.

"So don't call him a wuss."

"Oh... well, whatever."  Gendo turned his back to Rei, and began to
make a long and boring speech.

"I know I haven't been kind to you or him, but I'm doing this all for Yui,
you know."  

"You're doing this so every pretty woman and cute adolescent 14-year-old
girls have a giant lesbian orgy with you at the center, you perverted
pedophile."

"That, too.  But mainly, I want us to be a family.  Again."

"No, you hope me and mom start XXXXXXXXing each other.  I read the computer
screen before we left, you know."

"I was thinking about us being a family the entire time I was trapped in
limbo..." Gendo said, tears falling from his eyes.

"You were thinking about revenge."

"And when I escaped..."

"Wait.  How did you escape?  I thought we blew you to bits."

"Well," Gendo began, ready to embark on his adventurous tale of escape
and rescue.  "Chibi-Rei helped me before the blast could kill me.  She
grabbed me and took me back to another dimension via Misato's Dimensional Beer
Hole(tm)."

"How did you get the writer?  He's the most powerful thing in this
universe, next to Annogelion."  Rei began to prepare an ATField, just in
case the answer he gave was the one she thought it was.

"I jumped the bitch as he was walking out of Eva-01's cage.  After that, I
disguised myself, chained him up, and went to see Episode 1, because that's
where he was supposed to meet you."

"So you're the most powerful being in this universe, correct?"

"Of course." Gendo said as his glasses gleamed with light.  He turned
to face Rei, whose ATField began to make small crackles of shimmering light in
the air.

"So... why didn't you just write yourself in the money you needed?" 
Rei asked.

Gendo's jaw dropped.

"GENDO NO BAKA!!!"  Rei screamed, followed by an "ATFIELD
CRUSH!!" The ATField unfolded itself, swirling towards Gendo, who was too
stupefied to do anything else but die.  

Unfortunately, Chibi-Rei (In her Not-So-Chibi-Form) intervened, blocking Rei's
ATField crush.  Chibi-Rei then made a rushing dash towards the other young
Ayanami, punching her in the stomach and knocking the wind out of her.  This was
followed by a nasty boot to the head, rendering her unconscious for the second
time today.

"Are you alright, Gendo-sama?"  Chibi-Rei asked worriedly.

"I'm fine.  Thank you, Chibi-Rei."

"Ohh!  I love it when you call me that!  I'm so wet!"

"Ahh..."

"Let's go into that alley and do it!  C'mon! C'mon!" She said,
dragging him by the hand.

"Actually, we should get Rei here to NERV.  The last Angel will attack, and
she will be needed since my idiot son is an alcoholic stupor."

"Well, you're God, teleport her over.  Then we can do it!"

"I'm not God unless a writer types the commands into the keyboard."

"Well, why don't you be the writer?"

Gendo thought about it.  He could write his own Eva fanfiction.  Hmm...  Lemons!
 Lemons!  And more Lemons!  The idea was so... appealing."

"Ohh, Gendo-sama, you seem so eager.  Let's go into an alley and do
it!"

Gendo smiled happily as he let her lead him to the nearest alleyway.  

(Author's Note: Moral question - Is it okay for a guy his age to be doing a 14
year-old?)




Again, the Angel alarms went off throughout the city, just as Misato and Asuka
had put Shinji in the hospital bed.  

"Dammit!  Not now!  Not when our operating capacity is cut down by 1/4th! 
You'd think this series would have ended after we pumped big holes into
Lillith!" Misato fumed.

"Shows the power of the fan base, and an idiot writer who believes in
trilogies."  Asuka remarked.

Surprisingly, no complaint from said writer was heard.

"Maybe he's watching TV?"  Misato suggested.  Asuka shrugged in
response.

"Well, go suit up!  I'll go to the Command Center."

"Hai!"

As Misato ran to the Command Center, she bumped into a newly rejuvenated Ritsuko
carrying an unconscious Rei.

"Ritsuko!  How did you get your teeth back and my Keg-O-Matic 5000(tm) out
of your XXXXXX?"

"Heh.  Rei isn't the only one who has the benefits of cloning."  She
implied, thereby opening another mystery that will never be solved.

"Whatever.  What's with her?"

"Dunno." Ritsuko the second claimed.  "I found her in the middle
of the street by pure writer's coincidence."

"Hmmm.... Well, get her up!  There's an Angel to fight!"

"Rei!"  Ritsuko shouted.  "Get up!  I'm not mad at you any longer
for sleeping with Maya!"

" Hee hee..." Rei giggled in her sleep.  "Oh, Maya!  Tell me how
good I am compared to Ritsuko again!  Hee hee!"

"Why...That...Little...Slut..."  Ritsuko fumed, a vein in her forehead
throbbing repeatedly.

"Uh... Ritsuko... Don't give yourself an aneurysm..."

"BITCH!!!"  Ritsuko screamed, lifting Rei above her head.  "I'M
GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU AFTER YOU KILL THIS ANGEL!!!"  Then, with mighty
powers that only pissed off anime chicks have, threw her in the general
direction of the changing rooms.


Asuka stopped momentarily as a blue and white blur flew past her.




"Okay, what's our status!"  Misato called as her and Ritsuko ran into
the Command Center.

"All Evas are prepared for launch!"  Aoba called back.  Everyone
looked at him weird.

"What?"  He asked.

"Aoba, why aren't you in uniform?"  Misato asked.

"Ummm..." Aoba looked down at his current attire.  Leather sac-pack. 
Leather stilettos.  Pierced nipples.  Leather thong.  Various other leather
goods and pierced body parts.  

"And Hyuuga, why are sitting on a donut ring?"

"Ummm..."

"Nevermind, just tell me the status again."

"Well, all Evas are ready, and Pilots Sohryuu, Suzuhara, and Ayanami are
ready as well.  But Shinji..."

"Was just admitted to the hospital.  We'll have to make due with out
him."




Shinji opened his eyes slowly.  He had been hospitalized enough to know that if
you open them too quickly, light will hurt you.  And wuss-boy didn't like any
pain that wasn't attached to Asuka.

"Hello!"  A giant, pink elephant greeted him.

"Please don't tell me you're my soul..." Wuss-boy said weakly.

"No!  You're drunk!"  The pink elephant said cheerfully.

"I... hear sirens... Is there... a battle...?"

"Yup!  But you're too drunk to fight!"

Shinji reached over to the elephant and pulled it closer by grabbing a tusk.

"Shut... the fuck... up!"  Shinji spat out, to the best of his
ability.  "I... hate... happy... pink things..."

"Okay..."

"Now... how do I get better?"

"Come with me!"  The HP elephant said.  He led him to a little room,
which contained a urinal and a water cooler.

"I don't get it."

"Well," the HP elephant began.  "You drink all this water, and
then you piss it out.  Meanwhile, the alcohol comes with it."

"..."

"What?"

"You visit Misato often, don't you?"

"Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday!  PenPen's got the rest of the
week."

Sighing, Shinji drank the first cup.




The tube-like Angel searched for its prey.  Tokyo-3 was a big city, after all. 
Plus, there were these damn giant robots everywhere.

"It's over here!"  Touji screamed as he pulled out his progressive
sword and butchered a few surrounding buildings.

"I've got it!"  Asuka yelled, firing a few rounds of her machine gun
at Unit-00.

"Dammit, Asuka!"  Rei swore.  "I said I was sorry!"

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!"

"Would you two focus on the damn Angel!" Misato swore through the
comm-window.

"You get it!  After all, it's just a giant phallic symbol!"  Asuka
screamed back at Misato.  Misato gave a lecherous grin before telling Kaji the
date for tonight was off.

After avoiding a blue giant robot with one eye and a big knife, the Angel took
to the sewer systems.

"Damn!"  Ritsuko swore; so as not to be left out of the scene. 
"It's heading toward the Geofront!"

"Get your asses down here, now!"  Misato commanded.




"Dear God!  Somebody stop this thing!  Noooo!" Shinji screamed,
filling the urinal rapidly.

"It's not my fault you drank the whole thing at once."  The HP
elephant said while flushing said urinal.




As Evas 00, 02, and 03 were lowered into the Geofront, the 17th Angel, (who in
the actual Eva timeline was the 16th, but since I XXXXXXed it up in 'Is Nothing
Sacred...') had found it's prey.  It hovered above the heavily guarded area,
being careful to avoid the barb-wired fence and land mines.  Then, it started
sprinkling.  

Little did it know, Shinji was doing the same thing.

"Say... Kaji..."

"Yes Ritsuko?"

"Isn't that you're watermelon garden?"

"Uh... watermelon garden?"  Kaji said, trying to sound like he didn't
know what they were talking about.  

'Damn!' he thought.  'Now they know, and knowing's half the battle!  I didn't
want to do this, but it seems I have no choice!'  Ripping off his shirt, Kaji
pulled out a gun and screamed "COBRAAAAAA!!!"  Everyone turned around
to see what the hell he was up to, when they saw the cobra head tattoo on his
chest.  That's when NERV found out what secret agency he REALLY belonged to.

"Dammit, Kaji!  Sit down or you're not getting any tonight!"  Maya
screamed out.  

While Hyuuga and Aoba restrained Ritsuko and Misato, the pilots interrupted
asked what to do to the target.

"I'll take over from here, Captain Katsuragi."  Yui said, before
turning to the pilots.  "In light of your past operations, specifically
Shinji and Asuka's synchronized battle against the Seventh Angel, we're going to
try something a little different.  

"Such as?"  Touji asked.

Yui popped Hellbilly Deluxe into the NERV Walkman, then turned to the screen.

"ALL OF YOU!!!  MOSH LIKE YOU WANT TO WIN!!!!" 

The Eva pilots did as they were told, the kicking and the hurting and the
screaming, (Oy Vey!) of the Angel  Limbs and guts were thrown about, and a few
bits of melon juice splattered on the ground.

"MY MELONS!!!"

"Good work, team!"  Yui encouraged. 




Meanwhile, in SEELE's chamber of gayness...

"No!  How could they win!"  Kihl screamed.

"Hmmph.  They seem to be worthy opponents..." George Lucas remarked.  

"Shuttup!"  Kihl screamed again as he pounded his head against the
table.  Then, holding his hands a good three feet apart, "...I've got a
headache this big..." he mumbled.

"Perhaps," Mr. Burns began to suggest.  "We should send out the
newly completed Eva-05 Units?"

"They're done!?" Boris asked.

"Yes.  Episode 1 generated more than enough revenue than I actually thought
for that piece of -"

"Now, now.  You never know when the real George Lucas is reading
this."  Kihl warned.

An eerie silence followed.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"  They all laughed in
unison.

"Okay, that was a good one, Kihl."  Boris said.

"Geez, looks like Lyn's still enjoying the joke."  Burns stated.  They
all looked over the English rep, who was enjoying... something.  When he
noticed, he suddenly stiffened.

"What's wrong, 6?"  A muffled voice came from under the table.

"Nothing, Aoi..."

"Anyways... send out the Eva-05 Mass Production Series!!!"  Kihl said.
 A few minutes later, said series was on its way to Tokyo-3.




"And take that!"  Asuka screamed as she chucked another missile bay at
Rei.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!!!"  Rei cried as she ran from Asuka.

Touji sighed before going back to making out with special Eva-03 cheerleader
Hikari, who had hidden in his plug with a special 'surprise' earlier. 




"We will have to start the 4th Impact, Chibi-Rei."  Gendo said as he
walked to Heaven's Gate.

"Uh-huh..." Chibi-Rei said in a daze.

"And then I will have my family back..."

"So... big..." Chibi-Rei said again.  Gendo smiled inwardly. 
Apparently, size DOES matter.

"As well as the keys to all of creation."  

"And a big lesbian orgy."  Chibi-Rei added.

"Correct, Chi-  Would you mind!?"

"Actually, I don't."  Chibi-Rei replied while tracing her fingers in
circles on Gendo's chest, causing both his temperature and groinal elevation to
rise.

"Let's do it again!" 

"Later, Rei.  After you take me to Lillith."  He heard a loud crash
echo from above.  "The battle must have begun..." he muttered to
himself as he passed his keycard through the access pad to Heaven's Door.  The
door squealed open to reveal...

Absolutely nothing.

"D'OH!!!"

"Where's Lillith?" Chibi-Rei asked innocently.

"Apparently, they have killed her." Gendo said between gritted teeth.

"Then?"

"Now we return to Misato's apartment."




NERV's Evas had been defeated quickly.  Eva-00 lay on the ground after one of
the Eva-05 series had sprayed its only eye with a can of mace.  Eva-02 had the
crap kicked out of it, and was currently being watched by two of the Eva-05's. 
Eva-03 had its arms tied around an armament building, and Eva-04 was still
unused due to budget cuts.  

Misato wondered what the rest of the Eva series was up to.  After all, the ones
that weren't watching Eva-02 were all huddled around each other, as if planning
something.


The Kaworu dummy plugs were indeed making a battle plan.  They knew that Shinji
would be here soon to protect his darling Asuka from harm, and they were
figuring out a way to defeat him.

"Look, I just say we eat the bitch.  Then she's no longer a problem." 
Eva-05A said.

"No, no.  We filled up on Godzilla in Tokyo-2, remember?"  Eva-05B
reminded.

"Besides," Eva-05C chimed in. "Remember that we had to wash up in
the ocean on the way over here.  I still have some Godzilla guts in the armor
plate covering my XXXXX."

"Shut up and pass the lipstick this way!"  Eva-05D orders while
powdering its face.

"Primadonna."

"Faux Homo."

"Look, stop arguing about the makeup.  We'll all have our chance when he
shows up." Eva-05A states.




At this moment, Shinji was running from the longest piss of his life.  He ran
through the corridors of NERV, trying to get to his entry plug.  Once inside, he
asked Misato to update him of the situation.

"Hey, Misato!" The HP elephant exclaimed when her picture came up on
the comm-window.

"Is it Tuesday?"  Misato asked.

"Misato!  Status!" Shinji screamed.

"Oh, yeah.  I hope you're ready to kick some, because there are nine
Eva-05s and they've already taken out the rest of the pilots."

"Those...bastards!"  Shinji cried, hitting the handles with his fists.
 "Launch Eva!"  He commanded.




"Shuttup!  Here he comes!"  Ev-05B whispered.  The Eva-05 series then
lined up in a row to face their new opponent.

Eva-01 sprang up in front of the Eva-05 series, ready to kick some.  To his
horror, they opened up their weapon compartments and pulled out the most
shocking weapons ever.

Progressive flowers.

Progressive poetry.

Progressive box of chocolates.

Progressive movie tickets.

Progressive beer.

Progressive Rufies(tm).

Progressive latex condoms.

Progressive keys to a motel.

And, worst of all, the progressive engagement ring.


Kihl slapped his forehead in disgust.

"Why did we use the Kaworu dummy-plug system!"  he whined. 
"Why!?"




Shinji reeled back in horror.  They... they wanted him.  Dear God...

All nine Evas advanced at once, catching him off-guard in his moment of horror. 
Two grabbed his sides, while two more grabbed his legs.  Then they started...
doing stuff.  Y'know, STUFF.




Everyone in NERV looked on in horror.  The sheer... sickness of nine Evas on one
just didn't appeal to most people.

"What are they doing to my son!?"  Yui screamed.

"The way I figure it, if Shinji achieves orgasm, the 4th impact will
happen."  Ritsuko said logically.

"How!?"  Misato cried.

"Sex is one of the most powerful forces in th-"

"I ALREADY SAID THIS WASN'T GARDEN OF EVA, DAMMIT!!" Misato screamed.

"Well, either way, it's probably a convenient plot device from the
writer."

"Dammit!" Misato cried as she slammed her fist against the control
panel.  "Why!?"

"Don't worry, Misato.  Maya and I will handle this.  Are you ready,
Maya?"

"Hai, Sempai!"

"Then let's go."

"Shinji!"  Misato said, ignoring Ritsuko and Maya.  "Don't have
an orgasm!"




"Oh, my!"  The HP elephant exclaimed.  "This is certainly an...
odd feeling."

"D-dear God... the pleasure..."

"I think I'll leave now."  And with that, the HP elephant teleported
to who knows where.

"A-Asuka... help me..."




"Ready, Maya?"

"Hai!"  

"Then let's go!"

The release bolts on Ritsuko's specially made Eva released, hurtling it towards
the surface.  The Eva series, intrigued by this interruption, stopped doing...
stuff to Eva-01 for a second.

Ritsuko and Maya's Hello Kitty(tm) Eva raised its paws in a Shotoken Karate
stance.  The Eva series laughed.

"Dammit!  Why does everyone laugh when they see this!"

"I don't know, sempai.  Shall we show them our special weapon?"

"Yes!"  

The Hello Kitty(tm) Eva put its paws before itself, and started to gather
energy.

"SPECIAL-" Ritsuko screamed.

"CUTENESS-" Maya followed.

"FIREBALL!!!"  They both yelled in unison.  A Sanrio shaped fireball
shot out of it's outstretched palms and flew towards the Eva series.

They deflected it with an ATField, then knocked the Hello Kitty(tm) Eva on its
white butt.




"Well, that didn't work."  Misato said.  "Time for plan B!" 
She turned to the intercom before her, and opened a comm-window to Rei's And
Asuka's Evas.

"Yoo-hoo!  Asuka and Rei!  Shinji's being molested by Kaworu
dummy-plugs!"

Eva-00's one orb and Eva-02's four all lit up; low, guttural growls being issued
from their mouths.

Berserkers.

You can guess the rest. 




"We're fucked."  Kihl stated plainly.

"We are so fucked it hurts."  Mr. Burns continued.

"What now?"  Lyn asked.

"Now... there is death."

"Who was that!?"  Kihl said in fright.

"Me."  

"N-no!  Stop!"  But the being didn't stop.  It ripped into the members
of SEELE, leaving blood and guts everywhere.  

When it was done, it stood over the carnage that was once SEELE, and laughed.

"Gendo was wrong.  There will be no lemon.  There will be only
darkness."  And then, he walked out of the room.




"Shin-chan!!!"  Asuka squealed as she climbed into his entry plug to
hug him.  "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Asuka... you really came for me... thank you..."

"Of course I came... I love you Shinji..."

"I love you too..."

"Not... to break up.... this tender... moment."  The writer
interfered, most of him pooling on Eva containment cages catwalk.  (Say it five
times fast!)

"YOU!!!"  Yui screamed.  The writer weakly flicked her off.

"But... there's a... problem..."




TO BE CONTINUED....




Next up:  In order to capture Gendo; who is currently looking for Lillith to
bring back and create another impact; A small team of NERV agents must go
through Misato's Interdimensional Beer Hole(tm), in a little story I'm going to
call:     SDAT Smash!!  When Bad Fics Must Die!!!!




Author's notes:  Well, here it is, the next part of Strangely Darkfic.  First
off, I'd like to apologize to the SDAT proprietor, I do like SDAT.  I would also
like to apologize to any pre-readers whose works might be involved in SDAT
Clash.  I however, will not apologize to the people who are currently working on
SDAT Clash.  If you need a reason why, read the damn thing.  (You know who you
are.)

However, just because I make fun of it, doesn't mean I disapprove of it.  I just
don't like it.  I think more people should write fics, but I just hope they are
of good quality.  Few people out there can match the characterization of Alain's
'The One I Love Is...' Few can write something that can be as sweet as Axel
Terizaki's many fics, or combine that sweetness and humor, as well as action, in
A1-I-Bus's 'Imagine Normality.'  Toh E. Loong's 'HERZ,' his other works, R.
Alexander Spoerer's 'Elsewhere,' all quality fics.  However, in my opinion,
'SDAT Clash,' 'A World Twisted,' and so on do not make that list.  

Of course, I really shouldn't be the one to talk.  Many view 'Is Nothing
Sacred?' and 'Strangely Darkfic' as pure, childish crap.  It really just comes
down to a matter of opinion.

But I do have a little surprise for all of you.  Someone sent me an e-mail that
was... interesting.  Basically, they didn't like the fic.  I respect that, and
even like that, simply because they're being honest.  But, in my opinion, they
crossed the line where people have to realize that these people are NOT REAL. 
As much as I love Eva, the people are fictional.  Also, due to the nature of
fanfiction, which is to tell a story, regardless of what it may be, one must
realize that different takes will appear.  So, without further ado, here is the
e-mail.  By the way, this is unedited, and is typed nearly exactly  (as far as I
know) how it appeared on my screen, spelling mistakes and all.




Topic:  The Screwing Continues

Person:  AUUGH!:P

P:  After reading 'Strangely Darkfic' I think this becoming more LOONYfic than
darkfic.

Author:  Well, IT IS A PARODY.  Just a thought...

P:  There's enough Lemon and Lime here to make Sprite jealous!

A:  Hey, sex jokes are something everyone can identify with.  Everyone has, at
one point, thought about sex, had sex, etc., or at least they will when they get
older.  Simply put:  A lot of people find them funny.

P:  That was cruel, having sweet, innocent Maya being broken down by Rei. 
(Author:  This is where the line gets crossed.  She is a character in a story. 
While the characters in Eva may be very well characterized, they are still
fictional.)  Crueler to have Ritsuko go and use and abuse Shinji.  (Then again,
you've read the 10 O'Clock Assassin's stories, haven't you, to use a
Ritsuko/Shinji scene... never thought Ritsuko was into pedophilia... nor was
Misato given the lemon-scented minds of others who can be class 1-A pervs.)

A:  Well:

1) Who's to say Maya is sweet and innocent?  The only times anyone sees her
being sweet and innocent is at or around NERV.  (Mainly Ritsuko)  For all you
know, she's a class A-1 perv.

2) As for Ritsuko abusing Shinji; just how many freaking times did that boy get
smacked around, used, abused, etc., etc., in Eva?  Besides, IT'S A PARODY.

3) 10 O'Clock rules.  First piece of mail regarding my fics was from him.  Of,
course, he said they were foul and disgusting, but of all the e-mails I've ever
received, only two (including yours) was negative.  Plus, 10 O'Clock like parts
3 & 4 of 'Is Nothing Sacred?' thereby retracting the bad comments he said
about parts 1 & 2.

4) IT'S A PARODY.


P:  My God, man, have you know shame or humanity?!? (said with a Shatner one of
voice), then thinks [Waitasec, this guy just had sweet, innocent Maya and Shinji
violated and I'm asking him THAT question?] with a tone of sarcasm.

A:  Humanity?  I've got more 'Humanity' in my f******* pinky than a lot of
people do in their entire bodies.  That might not be humble, but I feel that it
is true.

Plus, IT'S A PARODY.

P:  Shocked and amazed (all the lighter WAFFly fics make him glad he never saw
the anime, it would be TOO depressing; pass the maple syrup, will you?)

A:  You've never seen the Eva anime? And you're reading the fanfics?  Is that...
right?  Oh, well, writing is meant to be read, so I guess it's okay.  Don't
worry, I always include some WAFFly stuff before the big ending.

A:  By the way, here's the next part.  Thanks for reading!  (Author:  As if he
wants it.)

Later, 

Godsend777




Well, folks, there you have it.  These are the kind of letters I love.  Why? 
The last two chapters of 'Is Nothing Sacred?' and the main parts of 'Strangely
Darkfic' are hatred turned into humor.  If not for 10 O'Clock's letter, I
wouldn't have gotten off my ass and done parts 3 & 4.  After reading 'The
Saga Continues,' Strangely Darkfic part 1 was finished.  Same with this last
part.  (God, that series... the horror)  Actually, I thought this letter was
from one of them, when I realized that the writing was too good.

Heh.  Sorry, couldn't resist.

So, please send me your honest comments.  I like honesty.  Honesty rules.  And
don't hold back.

Now the only thing that remains is for the reader to ask himself:  "Did he
just step over the line by doing this?"  

Well, that's all for now.  I hope you enjoyed this.  

Special Thanks go out to:

All my pre-readers

A1-I-Bus - Imagine Normality, several other works.  
Alain Gravel - The One I Love Is..., Lost Love.
Axel Terizaki - The Child of Love, An Amnesiac Angel, others.
Greg Thomas - Owner of the Everything Anime website
KoalaKiller - A Pilot's Day Off, It can only Take One Night
Mirei Ikari - Cutest Pre-reader ever!
R. Alexander Spoerer - Elsewhere
Daruma - Now or Never, Peace

That guy who sent that letter, 

And of course, to all that read this.


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