If the clothes make the man, then why can't we judge a book by its cover?
If birds of a feather flock together, then why do opposite attract?
Why do people drive on parkways and park on driveways?
What exactly were the 12 special herbs and spices in KFC Chicken?
What does every exotic food taste like chicken?
Why are hot-dogs called hot-dogs when they don't have dogs in them?
What would you call spicy food made out of dog meat ?
In the world of Transformers, how they procreate?
Why is there only one girl Smurf, Smurfette, and where did she come from?
Are there really two scoops of raisins in Raisin Bran?
What about those small, single-serving cereal packages of Raisin Bran, what size of scoop do they use?
If you're birthday is on February 29, how old,really, are you?
Do the animals on the endangered species list taste good with barbecue sauce?
What does a BIT or a BYTE physically look like?
If Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy had a child, what would it look like?
Who decided that skinny, anorexic women look good?
Why is it when a woman dumps you, they say that they just want to be friends?
Since Koala's mainly eat eucalyptus leaves, do they have a minty taste when cooked?
If something is "clean as a whistle," is it really clean?
Why are there locks on the doors of 24-hour convenience stores?
Wouldn't the game of baseball be more entertaining if the batter got to keep and use the bat as he goes for the bases?
Since Tang is is an orange drink and not a tangerine drink,why is it called "Tang"?
Why is it whenever you wash a pair of socks, you always seem to loose one them therefore leaving you always with an odd pair?
Why are all successful authors alcoholics, insane, or had a bad childhood?
If the Lone Ranger was "lone" why then did he have a sidekick?
Why was the Long Ranger's sidekick named Tonto, the Spanish word for "Stupid"?
Did you ever notice that in most movies about the future, "shoes" still exist? Are shoes a universal constant?
What happens when a giraffe gets a stiff neck?
Since marshmallows expand in vacuum, what would happen if they were release in space?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If you had a million Shakespeares, would they write like a monkey?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
If the police arrests a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, ...How cold will it be?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from??
If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said "Quit while you're ahead"?
What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Does a person ever get sick without being tired?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
Why is it that when we ship something by truck, it's called a shipment but if we send something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?
If you take the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk? - George Carlin
How come there aren't "B" batteries? (If you find any, e-mail me!)
Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?
How do "Do Not Walk On Grass" signs get on the grass if no one is allowed to walk on the grass?
Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a "civil" war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still be hungry?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
How do you remove a club soda stain?
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How much would they pay the matador if the bull had no horns?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
If you get wrapping paper for a present, how do you know when to stop unwrapping?
"Why do they report power outages on TV?" - George Carlin
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
Why do they call it life insurance?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth?If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Isn't everywhere walking distance if you have the time?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse??
After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why aren't there ever any GUILTY bystanders?
How can someone "draw a blank"?