[The wheel of time turns. The present gives way for the future,
where
the present is but the past and the past is just a memory.]
He walked through the stone
pavement slowly, unmindful of the rain that
beat down over his head, drenching him, soaking his clothes and his
skin. He simply did not care. Not now. Not ever. The gale
lashed at
him sharply, the wind's cries rising to a keening wail, a lament that
matched the one that echoed quietly in his soul.
~*~*~*~*~
Never even thought to cry
When I heard you say good-bye
Never said where you were going
~*~*~*~*~
[A swirling vortex where the present dwindles into nothing and the
past
comes back to hunt us. Where the bands of time quiver and break
and
coalesce to return to a time twelve months past.]
"Oniisan!"
Hiei paused in mid-flit,
his sister's voice acting as an anchor that
rooted him firmly to the ground where he stood.
"Niisan," softer this time
as she stopped a mere arms-length away from
him. "I want you to keep this."
"Yukina..." It was all he could
get out before the timid Koorime took
ahold of his hand and pressed something firmly against his palm.
He looked down. Time stopped as he stared at the identical pearl gems.
"Who did this?" He
hissed, the sinister look that his sister always
succeeded in banishing, returned with a vengeance. "I'll kill
him!" He
seethed, his hand resting on the hilt of his katana. "What did
he do?
What did he do to hurt you?!"
Yukina held him tightly to
keep him from barging into the house.
"Onegai, settle down. It's not what you think!"
For one of the rarest of
times, Hiei ignored her, thoughts of running
his katana through that orange-topped ningen overriding his senses.
"Hiei!" A gentle, yet sharp and reprimanding tone.
Hiei stilled, eyeing Yukina
in surprise. Hiei? She had called him,
Hiei. Since the time she had learned that he was her brother,
not once
had she called him by his name. She used it sometimes, but always
with
a -niisan or an -onisaan right after.
She blushed under his gaze
and she bowed her head. "Gomen nasai. It's
just that..." She picked the gems she had given him and held it up
for
him to see. He blinked as he noticed what she had done to them.
Both
gems were dangling from a delicate silver strand, the stone held to
the
chain by a slender metal wire that she had twisted and affixed on the
pearl and the strand.
A hand flew up to grasp the
stone that hung around his neck. Their
mother's teargem.
Yukina nodded, responding
to the silent question manifested in her
brother's eyes.
Hiei swallowed. "Why?"
A vision of sadness entered
the usually genial countenance, one that was
quickly hidden as a smile appeared on her face. "So that you
won't
forget. And so you'll have a reason to come back." She
told him,
returning the soft hued jewels to him.
"::You:: are my reason for
returning." He whispered softly, clutching
the gems tightly in his fist.
An almost wistful smile appeared,
one that softened her features even
more. "I know. But perhaps someday, even that won't be
enough." She
shook her head and her face lit up, giving him an encouraging glance.
"But the Makai awaits your presence. I am sorry for delaying
you as it
is."
He gave a curt nod. "I will return when I can, Yukina-chan."
She smiled. "Goodbye, Niisan."
~*~*~*~*~
There's no laughter in the air
Only silence everywhere
And so much left unspoken
~*~*~*~*~
[The desolate plains of the
Makai, mountains jutting up in the
distance. The winds blow and die at the same breath and night
lies
supreme in the vast void of the barren land.]
Hiei greeted the silence
with one of his own. His mouth turning down
into a grimace as memories of Yukina's words hunted him.
'...someday, even that won't be enough.'
It had ::always:: been enough.
Always. A year - two years, he would be
gone. But he would always come back. Always. Because
she was there.
Could she possibly have meant
something else by it? Could he have been
stupid enough not to notice?
~*~*~*~*~
Since you've been gone
I haven't been the same
I wish that I could see
Who's to blame
~*~*~*~*~
[A slight shift in the wheel, a journey to a moment only days prior
to
present time.]
"Hiei."
He snarled, grimacing at Mukuro. "What do you want?"
He didn't want to hear it.
She knew what she wanted. He knew what she
was going to say. He had been ignoring his duties in her army.
So many
youkais under his command had died because of his neglect. Too
many
lives perished for nothing.
"I want you to rest.
Perhaps spend some time on your own. Give
yourself time to think things over, to adjust." She said quietly,
knowing Hiei's would-be outrage at hearing her words. But he
had left
her no choice. She ::had:: to do it.
"I don't need time to adjust!" He snapped, turning his back to Mukuro.
Mukuro sighed. "I do
not want you dead, Hiei. And you've been courting
death ever since - "
"Don't talk to me about death."
Hiei growled, whirling around to glare
at her. "You have no idea what it's like!"
Mukuro bowed her head.
"I will not be expecting your services by
tomorrow."
Hiei stared at her in surprise.
She was serious. She was taking away
the one thing that he had used as his refuge. A retreat from
the
agonizing reality which he had been trying to escape from...trying
in
vain to forget. He almost laughed out loud. Who was he
kidding? He
would never forget. Never be able to forgive himself.
The carnage was his way of
atoning for not being there. His search for
someone, something, to put the blame on.
In a moments notice he was gone.
~*~*~*~*~
Was I lost in you and me
To the point I couldn't see
That what we had was dying
Now it's all that I can do
To see photographs of you
And stop myself from cryin'
I should learn to live without your love
Got so many memories, but it's not enough
~*~*~*~*~
[Scenes of Hiei's life with Yukina flashes through the void. The first
time he had seen her, when they had saved her from that bastard who
had
held her captive. The years when she hadn't known he was her
brother.
Her complete and total trust in him, her belief that he'd be able to
find her twin brother. Happier times. When she had finally
learned who
he really was. They'd been together finally, brother and sister.
Wedding bells. Not even that fool Kuwabara had had the strength
enough
to tear them apart. He had allowed her to marry him, simply because
she
had wanted to.]
They were together, it was all that mattered.
He had thought they'd live forever.
He was wrong.
~*~*~*~*~
Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life without you?
~*~*~*~*~
[A disturbance in the current maelstrom, time mends into itself and
returns to the present.]
The rain had stopped, the
winds hushed into a gentle, caressing breeze.
Yet, the skies remained overcast, as though to respect the wishes of
the
solitary figure that walked under the soft blend of the white and gray
marquee.
Stones lined both sides of
the trail he followed. Every now and then a
perfect replica of an angel or a deity carved in stone or marble
accentuated the placidity of the tranquil ground.
To Hiei, all things passed
unnoticed as he continued on down the sodden
path. His thoughts elsewhere. Wandering back to a time
when life to
him meant the next time he would be able to practice his skills in
thievery. Or the next time his katana smeared with the blood
of an
enemy, his nostrils filled with the sweet stench of death.
But those years of senseless
living had ended when he had learned about
her. Yukina. His twin sister. He had had a mission.
A goal that had
actually been worth fighting for.
~*~*~*~*~
I feel helpless and oh so all alone
Like I've never felt before
You made me feel alive
But I don't remember what it's like anymore
~*~*~*~*~
Hiei stared at the gray slab
with empty eyes, his mind void of all
things, except for one thought. A name. A single name,
which had
haunted his minds eye ever since he had found out. Ever since
he had
learned.
Too late! He had known too late.
He fell on one knee, one
hand clutching the ground in consternation.
Black gems fell on the damp grass, cluttering the verdant sign of life
with the ebony shade of death.
He looked up to read the name etched in the marble stone.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
He whispered, the agony sending him to the
edge of the world, as he knew it. "I wasn't there for you.
I should
have known. Should have known when you said goodbye."
He traced the letters deftly with his fingers.
"Yukina."
~*~*~*~*~
Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life without you?
~*~*~*~*~
[The wheel of time continues its journey. The past and present
fades
and life goes on.]
Hiei watched them from a
distance. They were laughing and playing, so
innocent in their joy. So very much like Yukina. Shizuru
and Kuwabara
was with them. He was glad at least that Shizuru was there to
help
watch over them. He didn't completely trust Kuwabara with that.
Shizuru looked up and looked
directly at him. She smiled slightly and
motioned for the kids to come to her.
He didn't move.
They ran up to him.
Shouted joys of delight reached his ears and before
he knew it, he was knocked unto the ground by two squirming bodies
on
top of him.
"Ojisan!" Bright red-eyes
stared down at him happily. "You came
back!" She quipped gleefully, sea-green hair falling down to
tickle him
slightly on the cheek.
He grunted and sat up, which
was as far as he could go with the children
clinging to him.
Aniku rested her head on his shoulder. "Oniisan and I, missed you!"
Hiei swallowed, his throat
felt tight. He turned to look at the young
boy. He had his father's eyes, as well as the same vibrant spirit
to
fight. But the jet-black hair that crowned his head could have
only
come from Hiei.
"Have you been caring for Aniku, Kitare?" He asked quietly.
The boy nodded his head vigorously. "I have, I have!"
Hiei smiled. "I brought something for you."
Two pairs of eyes widened. "What is it?" They asked simultaneously.
Hiei hesitated for a moment
before pulling out the twin gems Yukina had
given him. "Your mother gave them to me. She wanted you
to have
them." He explained, as he put it on each of them.
They stared at the pearls in awe.
"Kaasan?" Aniku whispered softly, touching the pearl almost reverently.
"Domo arigato, Ojisan."
Kitare said, holding his mother's gift tightly
in his hand. He looked up at Hiei. "I'm glad you returned,
Ojisan."
He held both of them tightly.
"You're my reason for coming back."
~END~