Charisma Man in Canada

I'm from South London in England, so grew up with a strong cockney accent (not too different to David Beckham's). In some parts of The UK it is looked down on. Including the Wimbledon area, where my family and I moved to, but only after I'd developed the accent. When speaking, I soon got used to disapproving looks from fellow students, teachers and lecturers.

However I spent a year in Montreal, Canada, working in marketing as part of my BA(Hons) International Marketing Management degree. Prior to this I had never been much of a ladies' man and was definitely NOT a big hit with the women. Men with spots, a beer gut, man boobs and a builder's bum usually aren't.

But going over to North America changed my life. For the better. Everyone loved my accent. Soon enough, I had women in their millions surrounding me, unable to get enough of the ever so "cuuute" sound of me speaking! Everywhere I went, be it in Canada or The U.S, women would overhear me speak and come sprinting! My accent was music to their ears..music they wanted to hear, over and over again. Naturally, I played on this, used it to my advantage, exaggerated my pronunciation and, as many of us lads do, tell the odd white lie to impress the ladies! I defined the "Zero to Hero" slogan!

In my homeland I was a spotty, fat nobody. Painful to to listen to and look at. But in this other continent I was a suave, charming, babe-magnet God who could wrap any woman around my little finger! My wish was their command and I controlled them like putty in my hands. In bars and clubs, Canadian and American model-looking pretty-boys could only watch enviously, as stunning but fickle women transferred their maximum attention from them to me! What the men saw was a foreign idiot. An idiot incapable of speaking properly, requiring a bra and a good dermatologist. What the women saw was a "cute";, confident and charismatic perfect-specimen of a man, of whom there simply wasnt enough of. It was great! I could live this life forever!

Unfortunately nothing lasts forever and all good things come to an end. Back home I re-adopted the role of the overweight, pizza-face, self-deprecating geek. My accent, so admired in a foreign land, once again sent everyone reaching for their ear plugs. But soon after that I came to Japan. To become "Charisma Man" once more!