Her observation caused me to shout over to her, "No shit bitch!"
She responds to me, "Go fuck yourself young one."
I shouted, "You're finished!" I flipped my table over, and inadvertently caused one elder man close by to have a stroke.
Figuring he didn't need his plate anymore, I took it. I flung it over, and clocked the cocky lady in the head.
This guy named Biff takes offense to my ass kicking skills. I know his name was biff cause he had a shirt on that said, "My name is Stiff Biff"
All of a sudden I find myself being threatened by this guy. He was 6'6 tall and weighed in at about 5000 pounds. "I'm going to crash, and smash you little man! Try picking on me!", he said. "Let's go fatass!", I shouted. "Oh you're mine fish!", he yelled.
Feeling I was given no respect by this asshole, I spit on his face. His big head turned bright red as his fist came towards my face.
I dodged his attack and countered it with a poke to each eye. Blinded, he took multiple blind swings at me, but his efforts were in vain as he missed. He must have thought fatass meant badass.
His error in judgement also earned him the nickname dumbass, because as the owner was telling the police the situation on the phone, and he hit her.
Biff must have thought he caught me, and started laughing. He was talking trash like, "See what happens little man." His blind ass didn't realize I was standing behind him till I smashed the cash register over his head.
Everyone stood in fright as the sirens of the police got louder. I decided it was time to leave. I went towards the door and slung it open. To my surprise there was a cop there. "Freeze Bitch!", this cop yells. He was holding a gun to me trying to feel like a wise guy.
"Get down now scum!", he yelled. Rather than obeying his big ass I gave a drop kick to him. He collapsed onto the street several yards away. Seeing how he was knocked out, I decided to call it a day.
I figured it wasn't very smart to walk so I took the cop's car and drove myself home. I had no need to keep the car so once I arrived back to my palace, I took 3 bricks and tied them onto the gas pedal.
The car raced through the street and took out some seven and eight year old kids playing in the snow. It wasn't intentional, but that kind of thing happens every so often. I figured it would help give the news something to talk about other than the Panthers losing the Super Bowl anyways. (Carolina Panthers still rule by the way)
After getting rid of the car, I felt like watching some porno. So I went inside my house, threw a tape in the VCR, and had sex with my right hand.
You might wonder why I wasn't arrested.
The police were too scared to arrest me in fear I might kick all their asses.
Nothing I wrote hear is exaggerated.
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