What is it girls really want? Well, you're absolutely right, we do hear a lot about girls wanting someone we can relate to and someone who'll listen. Err, how do I put this... bull? Yes, its a cover-up for a good number of girls. At least at the age we seem to be referring to, a girl's hormones are raging just as much as a guy's. Girls don't normally make advances because (1) its instinctual to let the guy do this (2) the guy often -does- do this, and (3) most BB don't care if they get the girl pregnant, therefore its up to any girl who sleeps around to try and avoid this.
Of course, on the other end of the spectrum (NG), the companion you're looking for will be the one who -doesn't- go with the BB. It's going to be harder to get into a relationship with these girls in the first place, since they're not in it for a one-night stand either. Then, when you do get to know them, you'll probably be friends first. Once you're friends, she might not want to risk ruining your friendship if a relationship doesn't work out. Not to mention the fact that, to have a REAL romantic relationship, the two of you have to have personalities that work wonderfully together. This, of course, is no problem for BB's, who only have to fit with their woman of choice from the hips down. Not that hard. You, on the other hand, get to search endlessly for someone whose mental and emotional patterns complement your own. A difficult task.
Now on to the initial attraction bit-- another quality most of these BB's share is charisma. You said it yourself-- good looks, to begin with. When you analyze "good looks," you find that its mostly an account of what would make an ideal and healthy parent, physically, though the characteristics are blown out of proportion once in a while. The thing that will probably be the real trap for most girls, though, is their ability to broadcast the attitude of "you're everything to me, I worship you, you're my goddess," and other similar lies without saying a thing, and mixing that air with a natural highlight on any and all good qualities he may have, usually with the effect that the girl feels both needed and inadequate. This mixture can throw the "pool of innocents," as I've termed it, head over heels for a random guy. (you know this type, they make a habit of having crushes on impossible men because those men are the only ones who won't shatter their fantasies of perfection by actually letting them test said fantasy) The group of girls who actually date BBs often know what they're getting, but these are the ones whose unbridled rutting instinct doesn't allow them to care.
Then you come to the NG's, who, even if they're very good looking, have a much greater chance of being termed "cute" than "hot". This is due to, as you say, a lack of confidence. The "innocents" will see them as good friends, but not usually people they'd want to fall in love with. "Innocents" are probably looking for the "perfect guy," which is why the unspoken promise of a BB that "I am the perfect guy" is so effective. The female counterpart of BBs won't be interested in you, because they can tell you're not going to work like a dog to get them in bed. So, if an "innocent" will break up with you because she's always convinced that the absolute perfect guy is out there somewhere and you're not quite him, and the bad girls won't date you in the first place (not that they're what you're looking for at any rate) then you have the daunting task of becoming romantically involved with a member of the third group ahead of you. As far as I can tell, this third group, of which I am one, is comprised mainly of lunatics. Sure, most of us act sane most of the time, but once you really get to know us we'll merrily do/say completely random and seemingly uncharacteristic things.
(this truth has been ferreted out by an Experiment, in which I was lucky enough to find about 7 other people as crazy as myself and we completely ceased to care what the world at large thought of us. This made it possible to "be ourselves" all the time, and our wierdness caused an inordinate number of crazies to come out of their shells. Now virtually every person in the school I attend, even our "popular" people and "innocents," to display insane traits. Calling someone wierd is almost always taken as a compliment. Our pool of utter lunacy is currently friendly to almost everyone. This may or may not be a nationwide trend, though it would be nice if it were. And another random note. I'm grouping people. This is WRONG. I apologize.)
Anyway. Back to the insanity. I'm not sure about percent, but there is a sizeable fraction of us who shudder at the idea of romantic attatchments, for various reasons. We believe it would be too confining, our parents are incredibly overprotective, we have no time, we're too cynical to believe in true love, etc. etc. Or we figure that a relationship like that is almost certain to have carnal roots and we're disgusted at the thought of being ruled by base emotions. At least the above used to apply to me; I'd suggest asking any other females you know who aren't romantically inclined. If you're one of the lunatics too, that's great, but making two brands of lunacy adapt to each other doesn't always work. It would probably require a few disappointments before it works. O'course, noting that you write mostly love poems, I have to believe that you probably have at least a portion of "innocent" in you. If that's the case, make sure you're not a completely hopeless romantic! There is always the possibility that you subconsciously refuse to notice when girls do take an interest in you and are waiting for instant love to strike like lightning. Not necessarily, but its possible.
And now, lucky you, you "get to" be abducted and shoved into my area of study, so to speak. This would be people like myself, who are truly lunatics in comparison to the rest of the world. We have a very different reason for refusing romantic attatchments-- the likelihood of finding the right person (which I, at least, have defined and proven that it is a possibility) is very small. I'm not going to try to explain this very thoroughly, as it would probably put you to sleep provided you're not sawing logs already. We'll be those people who seem to have multiple personalities. Around friends, we'll be nuttier than the rest of them, and probably come up with the most "creative" (this is usually not a good thing with us) ideas. We may periodically throw ourselves into the snow, beocome hopelessly high on caffiene (or endorfins, which we've probably trained our brains to produce on command by now), we may twitch or shake for no apparent reason other than excess energy, we probably won't sleep much, and we'll gladly make fools of ourselves at the slightest chance. Then, when we've nobody to talk to, or once in a while when we do and really aren't in the mood to take advantage of it, we'll turn into dead silent automatons, mindlessly doing whatever the teacher asks and momentarily poking our true consciousnesses out to politely shoo away anyone who happens to talk to us. The only way you'll ever get someone like this to develop a romantic attatchment to you is if you're one of us and you're on the right path, at roughly the right point. If you're not sure, I'll try to describe a few "symptoms" of this general person-type... you love the darkness. You may have had one or more experiences with supernatural things (I don't mean God if you're religious, I mean what people would probably term ghosts, demons, premonitions, marginal mind control, telepathy, ability to help a person heal, things like that). You must dream strange, strange dreams, and they will probably be symbolistic if you can interpret them for yourself. You probably don't need much sleep. You're "too old for your age" or you're deep into strange branches of philosophy. Uhm, enough of this now, it'll get boring unless you already know what I mean.
Anyway, I found your article rather interesting, I hope this helps some, and if you have a reply to any of this I'd be happy to hear it.
~FG (the feral genetecist--a prime example of this lunacy thing)
I LOVE THIS! People are first reading articles on my page, then forming thoughts of their own, and finally putting them down in words and passing along their feelings. This, my friends, is technology at it's best. Write me at Tom@pukeonpavement.com or write Matt at, you guessed it, Matt@pukeonpavement.com and, (crying) don't break the chain, I beg of you.