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Hello. If you're reading this, I hope you're a Late Night with Conan O'Brien fan just like me. If you're not, read it anyway. I started watching Late Night during the summer of 1995 by accident. I was visiting some relatives where the time slots for the late shows were different, and one night I forgot that. David Letterman starts a half hour after Jay Leno, so one night near the end of David Letterman, I switched to NBC, and saw a large, short, blonde man interviewing people filing their tax returns a few minutes before the deadline on the last night of tax season. I thought it was so funny, I kept watching, and soon discovered that it was a late show hosted by a whiny voiced redhead with a funny name. So I watched the next night, and the next, and look where I am now. But I'm a fan of many other things, too. The Beatles, for example. The best band to EVER walk the face of the earth. Of course, I'm an aficionado: such a big fan that it annoys my friends. Write and tell me who your favorite is, or write if you have any questions about the Beatles. If I don't know offhand, I'll consult my vast library of Beatle books. So who's excited that Saturday Night Live is actually getting GOOD? Now I know this short little paragraph can't be possibly enough info for you, so look below for stuff about me, the story of my adventure in New York (a MUST for all Conan fans), and my review of the Beatles' Anthology on video. If you like to be scared, read Jennifer's essay, and the never-before-attempted feat after it. You'll see.
I'm one of the new Tuesday writers for the Joyce Loves Conan abstract project. Click here to go to the main page.
Also, click here to view the largest collection of Conan O'Brien stuff on the internet.
Conan is one of the celebrities who made an appearance in the recent Muppets music video of "She Drives Me Crazy." He's easy to recognize- his hair is REALLY puffy.
If the links don't work, just scroll down.
My Hobbies and Interests My Personal Background My Amazing Adventure in New York My Review of the Beatles' Anthology on Video Jennifer's Catholic School Essay
I have a lot of hobbies and interests: things that make you go hmmmm... But some of my favorites are drawing, writing, TV, movies, the Beatles, and more TV.
I'm the biggest Beatles fan ever. Such a big fan that I'll actually ADMIT that Magical Mystery Tour wasn't that weird up until the last hour. It was panned because it was originally broadcast in black and white! Black and white I tell you!!! By the way, it's only an hour long!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!
Well, here's the semi-boring part, but you've come this far, and may as well KNOW me. I was
born in Wisconsin on May 16, never you mind the year because I don't want any weirdos tracking
me down (birthday greetings WILL be accepted). When I was five, my parents and I moved to
somewhere I won't be mentioning because I don't want any weirdos showing up at my door. I've
known about and loved the Beatles for as long as I can remember, and always loved to draw and
write stories.
I visited New York during the end of November 1996, and attended a taping of Late Night with
Conan O' Brien. It was a totally new and interesting experience which I will not forget soon. The
first thing I noticed when I entered the studio was that the stage/band area was puny compared to
what it looks like on TV, but the audience area was about the same. Mike Sweeney came out to
warm up the audience, and joked about some foreign people in the audience because they couldn't
understand what he was saying. Their nonexistent knowledge of the English language was the
main reason he made fun of them, though. They stood in line all that time, and they weren't even
able to understand the show!!! Next, the band was introduced, and they ran in one by one. They
played really well, like they sound on TV, but they were way too loud. After the show was over
and I left the studio, I couldn't hear right for about twenty minutes. The band played a few songs,
and then Conan came out. We cheered, but he didn't sing a song for us. He just went
"Uh-HUH!!!" a few times, and told us who the guests would be. Cindy Crawford (he growled a
few times), Julia Sweeney, and Chris Isaak. Other people who have seen the show remark on
how different Conan and Andy are before the show, but I didn't notice a difference. Conan didn't
really look different in person, except for his hair. It looked bigger. When Max was drumming
during the theme song and the camera wasn't on him, he wasn't grinning as usual; he looked like a
normal person!!!
The interviews went fine, but the second comedy bit was a disappointment. It consisted of something called the "wussy wagon": a group of violently whining businessmen in a large red wagon. It was rolled into the studio, an actor playing the missing wussy pretending to be a cameraman was put into it, and it was rolled out. That was it. During the commercial breaks, a man who looked like he was under a great deal of stress would take a break from his pacing, and go talk to Conan until he started to look worried, and then Conan would talk to Andy, and they would both look worried until the break was over. I assume he was Jeff Ross, but I don't know.
Later, during a commercial break, Conan announced that they needed to film a ten second promo, and he told us to be quiet. They rolled the cameras, and he said something like "Watch the show tonight. I discover that Cindy Crawford hates me more in real life than in my fantasies." Since we had been told to stay quiet, nobody laughed except for a few brave people who chuckled. Obviously not aware that he had confused us, Conan got a half surprised, half exasperated look on his face, let out a loud sigh, and the camera zoomed in on his face for the remainder of the ten seconds. That night, they put together a ten second compilation of clips from the show, and showed that instead.
I received the Beatles' Anthology on video for Christmas from my dad. It is ten glorious hours of
the best band ever to walk the FACE OF THE EARTH. So far, I have watched seven of the
eight tapes. On the whole, it is very good, but there are a few things that could have been
improved upon. For example, some time was wasted on extended clips from A Hard Days' Night
and Help! For example: the "If I Fell" scene where they were trying to cheer Ringo up, the "Can't
Buy Me Love" field scene, the introduction where John, George, and Ringo are running to the
train, and the "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" scene from Help! The famous "cut scenes"
from both of the movies are not even MENTIONED. I am referring to "You Can't Do That"
from AHDN, and the car chase and the treehouse scene from Help! Also, they put in the
WHOLE "I Am the Walrus" scene from Magical Mystery Tour, and didn't mention the trick they
played on everyone by putting Paul in the walrus suit in either the movie or the album cover.
Such an act caused the lyric "the walrus was Paul" in the song "Glass Onion", and has always
been one of the tricks they have liked to play on the public, so it was surprising that it was not
discussed in the Anthology. Another major topic missing from the Anthology was the Paul death
hoax. There is a great deal to be said about it, but it is not even mentioned.
The other thing I found annoying about the Anthology was that they kept fading from black and white to color. This is understandable for Magical Mystery Tour, since it was originally broadcast in black and white, but it wears thin after a while. What they were trying to do was give the watcher a sense of the Beatles' transition to "The Color Age", but hey guys!! We get it already!!! As the concert footage slowly makes the transition from b&w to color, that is enough.
Other than these things, I liked the Anthology very much. For example, the "Hello Goodbye" promotional video with the Beatles in the Sgt. Pepper outfits was great, and so was "Paperback Writer", filmed at Chiswick Park, the only place where you can see Paul with his chipped tooth. Some time is spent talking about Stu Sutcliffe, Astrid Kirchherr, and Pete Best, but otherwise, they aren't mentioned again. On a one to ten scale, I would give the Beatles' Anthology a nine.
Here's a Beatles trivia tidbit for you: William Campbell, Paul's so-called "replacement after the car crash", is rumored to be pictured in the White Album CD booklet, and poster that came with the album back in the sixties. The alleged picture is on the bottom left of the poster, and page 18 of the booklet. Look for a small picture of what looks like Paul with glasses on.
I go to school with this girl named Jennifer (she's the one I ask about the snake dance at the end of my page), and she wrote an essay a while ago for extra credit in English class which turned out to be minorly frightening. But it reminds me somewhat of Conan's writing style, so I thought I'd add it to my page. Note: her opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of anyone connected with this page.
I have decided to merge the two topics offered in order to provide myself with a wider field of attack. A Catholic School education has impacted my life in several ways. First, They [sic] converted me to Catholicism. Then, They stuffed me full of Catholic dogma and useless knowledge which enables me to feel clever when watching Jeopardy. Then, They caused me to revolt from the Catholic religion and I decided I was an agnostic. Because after all, who really knows if God exists? My friends deny this. They claim that my constant sniping at Christianity proves me to be an atheist, though I may think otherwise. And who am I to argue with them? So this is one way a Catholic education has impacted my life.
My Catholic upbringing has made me paranoid. Note the capital T in "They" from the first paragraph. But I believe in the Catholics like some people believe in the Masons. And They're a lot scarier. Because the Masons don't have Jesuits. And why isn't there birth control in the Church? I don't think that's even a question anymore. When little armies of Catholics and Mormons rule the world someday, then they'll see. Furthermore, it enables me to be sanctimonious. I can tell people they're wrong because Catholic doctrine says so, but if attacked I can retreat behind agnosticism. It's actually a pretty fun game. Here's an example:
Me: God's going to send you to He-- for drinking so much tequila.
Victim: But you just had ten shots of it!
Me: Yeah, but I don't know if God really exists. You think he does. So he'll send you to He--.
(This dialogue is purely fictional, invented for the purposes of this essay.)
Why a student should choose a Catholic school education. [sic] First of all, it imbues one with a definite sense of right and wrong. Therefore, if you decide to do something bad, you have the additional thrill of knowing that what you are doing is wrong. This makes it much more interesting than the things you are actually allowed to do.
One also learns terrorist tactics and brainwashing. Any girl who has gone through my school can easily gain admittance to the CIA. They know that she is familiar with all forms of mind bending. And, if she comes out a non-Catholic, she is immediately sent to infiltrate the Japanese. They know that she has survived exposure to icy winds and rain, imprisonment, and of course, being stuck in a furnace, a common torture device in modern society.
A person who has gone through the Catholic school system is easily identified. They always look guilty. If they go out to lunch, they creep out by the back way and shriek if confronted. When seen with a cigarette, they try to hide it behind their skirt. They are frequently seen surreptitiously pulling out their shirt-tails. Wherever they work, they know the back way out and can slip away in five seconds flat. So, for all these reasons, and many others, I recommend a Catholic School Education to anyone. With reservations.
Also, Jennifer would like to hear from anyone who obsesses about any of the following men, because she does too:
David Duchovny, David James Elliot, David Hyde Pierce, David Selby, David Niven, David Boreanaz, David Ogden-Stier, Geraint Wyn-Davies, Daniel Davis, Daniel Day-Lewis, Colin Firth, Robert Redford, Robert Lansing, Robert De Niro, Robert Patrick, Robert Wagner, Robert Duvall, Robert Carlyle, Robert Downey Jr, Rob Lowe, Rob Halford, the guy who plays Robbie on Inspector Morse, Rupert Everett, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, Ron Wood, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, Paul McCartney, Ian Stewart, Rod Stewart (pre-bleaching), Ozzy Osbourne, Eddie Vedder, Alice Cooper, the guy who plays Scott on Boston Public, the guy who plays the transvestite in The American Embassy, the guy who plays Luke in Gilmore Girls, the guy who plays Geoffrey in Lion in Winter, Austin Powers, Elvis Presley, Elvis Costello, Todd Rundgren, DJ Qualls (the skinny guy from Road Trip), Jamie Oliver (the Naked Chef), Christopher Lowell, young Jim Steinman, the bad guy from The Patriot, aka Malfoy the elder from Harry Potter II, John Spencer, Jon Bon Jovi, John Lennon, John Cleese, John Lithgow, John McEnroe, Johnny Rotten, John Schilling, Sid Vicious, Tobey Maguire, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, Mr. Austin (one of our high school English teachers), Professor Danny, Hugh Laurie, Tim McInnery, Alan Rickman, Gimli (yes, the troll), Celeborn, and Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Richard Harris, Alan Alda, the guy who played Henry in M*A*S*H, Ryan Philippe, Ryan Stiles, Jacques and Sam from the band Phantom Planet, Steve Zahn, Steve Irwin (the Crocodile Hunter), Tom Jones, Seth Green, Dann Florek (the guy who plays Cragen on SVU), the guy who plays Dr. Huang on SVU, the guy who plays Munch on SVU, Richard Gere, Tommy Lee, Denis Leary, Jimmy Fallon, Brian Epstein, Ewan MacGregor, Vincent Perez, the guy who plays Jonathan in the Mummy, the dad on 7th Heaven, James Marstens, Laurence Fishburne, Colby from Survivor, Jacob Dylan, Eric Idle, Al Gore, Hank Williams III, Bo from the Dukes of Hazzard, Michael Wincott, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Weaving, Roger Moore, Jerry Orbach, J.K. Simmons (the voice of the yellow M&M), Willie from the Simpsons, Christian Bale, Gram Parsons, Owen Wilson, the guy who plays Lord Roxton on The Lost World, Ice T, Dr. Hartle, Ralph Fiennes, Tom Cruise, Chris Noth, Michael Moriarty, Michael Keaton, Michael Douglas, Kirk Douglas, George Clooney, Keanu Reeves, Noah Wyle, Malcom McDowell, Ed Harris, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Leonard Nimoy, Hugh Grant, Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Anthony Stuart Head (also known as the Tasters' Choice guy) , the guy who plays Jim Dial on Murphy Brown, the guy who plays Remy McSwain on The Big Easy, the guy who plays Michael in La Femme Nikita, Michael Dorn, William Holden, the lead singer of Deep Blue Something, the guy who plays Jeff on Remember WENN, Blake, Alec Baldwin, Billy Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin, the other Baldwin brother, Sting, John Wayne, Liam Neeson, Bob Dole, Ronald Reagan, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson (that's right, the colonial guys), Charles the Second (of England), Prince Albert of Monaco, Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece, Harrison Ford, Robert Redford, Conan's butt (but please, reserve all your O'Brien e-mails for me), Sidney Poitier, Antonio Banderas, Blake, Red from That 70's Show (yes, seriously), Christopher Reeve, Christopher Plummer, Chris O'Donnell, Chris Carter (the guy on Singled Out), Leonardo DiCaprio, Dean Cain, Jeremy Irons, Oldy Olsen (just wanted to make sure you were still paying attention!), Val Kilmer, Kelsey Grammar, Goliath on Gargoyles, the guy who played Ian on She-Wolf of London, Edward Woodward (in his younger days), Gene Hackman, Blake, Nicholas Cage, the guy who played Chris on Northern Exposure, Rob Morrow, George Hamilton, Bob Crane, either Dick Sargent or Dick York, Larry Hagman, the professor from Gilligan's Island, the Bubba guy from Grace Under Fire, John Larroquette, the guy who played Charlie in Dead Poets' Society, Bruce from Jeopardy, Ted Danson, Bill Pullman, Bill Murray, Colm Meaney, Donal Logue, Jeff Goldblum, Jeff Probst, Maxwell Sheffield from The Nanny, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Clark Gable, Fred Astaire, Greg Kinnear, Ed Asner, Robert Shapiro, the guy who plays John on High Chaparral, Chuck Connors, the guy who plays Monolito (sp?) on High Chaparral, the three Barclay brothers from The Big Valley, Greg and his dad from Dharma and Greg, Louis Edmonds, Ben Cross, Prince William, William Hurt, William Powell, the English guy on Crossing Jordan the guy from The Music Man, Blake, the guy who played Pitt in The Madness of King George, Gerald McRaney, Jason Patric, John Malkovich, Albert Finney (she thinks), Leslie Howard, Patrick MacNee, Robert Vaughn, Jack Palance, the guy who plays Jack Gallo on Just Shoot Me, Peter O'Toole, Errol Flynn, St. Peter (excuse any unintentional blasphemy), John Thaw (Inspector Morse), the guy who plays Inspector Alleyn, Patrick Duffy, Gregory Peck, Carmine Ragu from Laverne and Shirley, Tom Selleck, Matthew Perry, the guy who plays Jack on Boston Common, Yul Brynner, Matthew Broderick, Captain Peacock from Are You Being Served?, Tim Curry, Tim Robbins, Al Pacino, Brendan Fraser, Fonzie, Blake, Sean Penn, David Letterman, something McEwen, John Barrymore, Ben Chaplin, Cary Grant, the young guy from Three Coins in the Fountain, Sean Bean, Blake, Mel Gibson, Rex Harrison, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Truman Capote, Willem DeFoe, the guy who played Vachon on Forever Knight, Cher's stepbrother in Clueless, Gwyneth Paltrow's stepbrother in Emma, the bad guy from The Net, the dad on The Patty Duke Show, Del Shannon, Ernest Hemingway, and many, many, many, many, many others.
Last Updated on December 31, 1996 by
Buy a copy of "If They Mated!" It's HILARIOUS!!
Hey Jenny-O: I bet you're thinking about the snake dance.