Our Vision: Up, Up,
Send suggestions and ideas to us here at Rortots. Okay, that's one
link that works. If all you intend to do is criticize and tell us we're going to burn in
hell - or something like that, save it - the last time we
checked, God still had a sense of humor - even if you don't!.
What are the RoRToTs?
We're a concerned group of Christians able to help with the "final arrangements" of those preparing for the coming Rapture, Tribulation,
and Second Coming of Christ. We're willing to stay behind and watch your "stuff" for you - for a fee, of course.
Don't leave unprepared! Let us help you with the disposition of all those earthly possessions you've accumulated
over the years: car, house, Amy Grant CDs, etc. Depending on your "End Times" beliefs, we can take care of your things for you while you're gone for seven years
(watering plants, feeding pets, paying your kid's tuition at Bob Jones Univ . .whoops, our mistake - Bob's gang will be with you, er, places like Penn State, UCLA, ORU, Slippery
Rock, etc.). Then when you return with the Lord to reign for a thousand years, you can take it from there.
- OR -
if you don't think you'll be back for a thousand years or not come back at all, we'll just
see that your remaining relatives and friends are cared for as well as can be under the
trying circumstances that will exist under a one world government ruled by the Antichrist.
Then we'll sell or invest what's left to continue supporting our ministry. (After all,
with all the other ministries raptured and out of business, someone has to stay behind and
What's all this going to cost?
Well, it's not free! Just everything you have - after all, if you're going to heaven,
you won't be concerned with cleaning the VCR, checking expiration dates on milk cartons,
dusting those PTL collectibles or even renewing your Charisma subscription. We'll
do all that for you - or we won't! What will it matter once you're gone?
Who are we - really?
A bunch of present and (likely, soon-to-be former) pastors and lovers of Jesus
Christ who are totally fed up with warped theologies and divisiveness that gag real
ministry and make Christ's church a laughing stock. In other words, we'd like to do what
Jesus has in mind - not what Paul and Jan or Kenneth or Benny have in mind. So after
all of you are gone, we can really get to work in living the gospel - you know, the tares
are finally gone so the wheat can be useful.
So, GO! Leave without a worry!
We'll take good care of your stuff.