T  
ROR
T
S

       WE ARE...
                THE
RoRToTs            

           The Representatives of the Rapture/Trustees of the Tribulation   



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Our Vision: Up, Up, and AWAY!!!

Send suggestions and ideas to us here at Rortots. Okay, that's one link that works. If all you intend to do is criticize and tell us we're going to burn in hell - or something like that, save it - the last time we checked, God still had a sense of humor - even if you don't!.              -The Editor

What are the RoRToTs?
We're a concerned group of Christians able to help with the "final arrangements" of those preparing for the coming Rapture, Tribulation, and Second Coming of Christ. We're willing to stay behind and watch your "stuff" for you - for a fee, of course.

Don't leave unprepared! Let us help you with the disposition of all those earthly possessions you've accumulated over the years: car, house, Amy Grant CDs, etc. Depending on your "End Times" beliefs, we can take care of your things for you while you're gone for seven years (watering plants, feeding pets, paying your kid's tuition at Bob Jones Univ . .whoops, our mistake - Bob's gang will be with you, er, places like Penn State, UCLA, ORU, Slippery Rock, etc.). Then when you return with the Lord to reign for a thousand years, you can take it from there. 
                              - OR -
if you don't think you'll be back for a thousand years or not come back at all, we'll just see that your remaining relatives and friends are cared for as well as can be under the trying circumstances that will exist under a one world government ruled by the Antichrist. Then we'll sell or invest what's left to continue supporting our ministry. (After all, with all the other ministries raptured and out of business, someone has to stay behind and "clean up.")

What's all this going to cost?
Well, it's not free! Just everything you have - after all, if you're going to heaven, you won't be concerned with cleaning the VCR, checking expiration dates on milk cartons, dusting those PTL collectibles or even renewing your Charisma subscription. We'll do all that for you - or we won't! What will it matter once you're gone?

Who are we - really?
A bunch of present and (likely, soon-to-be former) pastors and lovers of Jesus Christ  who are totally fed up with warped theologies and divisiveness that gag real ministry and make Christ's church a laughing stock. In other words, we'd like to do what Jesus  has in mind - not what Paul and Jan or Kenneth or Benny have in mind. So after all of you are gone, we can really get to work in living the gospel - you know, the tares are finally gone so the wheat can be useful.

So, GO! Leave without a worry! 
We'll take good care of you
r stuff.

 

   

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