Chapter 15
May 10, 2000 – Singapore
I actually can’t believe Bryan loves Jenny! This isn’t good at all… we were at the bar last night and Bry told Jen in front of everyone that he loves her. I knew he wasn’t drunk at all but Jen doesn’t, so she seemed a bit unconvinced. I guess I still have the upper hand of the situation. I’ve got to act quickly before Bryan gets her. Yeah, I know I don’t love her, but I care enough. Knowing Bryan, he’d dump her after a day or two. I don’t want her to get hurt at all. Bryan just doesn’t know he can cause so much pain sometimes.
Jenny’s diary
May 11, 2000
Dear Diary,
This is so tough! I’m always caught up between Mark and Bryan! I cannot chose at all. Bryan’s starting to drop hints that he’d like to go out with me but I’m not actually sure if he’s giving me signals or something. Well, Nicky asked me earlier if I’d say yes if ever Bryan asked me out. I said yeah, but not tonight. He asked me why, and I told him I was gonna go out with Mark to a restaurant he and I spotted earlier.
Yup! I’m gonna go on my second date with Mark! It’s just a friendly date though… nothing more than that. I really can’t wait. It’s really finally beginning to sink in to me that I’m actually going out on another date with the guy who’s posters are plastered all over my bedroom walls back in the Philippines. To think I was just a fan dreaming of these things and now all my dreams are turning into realities. And the real thing is much better than what I imagine!
Bryan’s journal
Thursday, May 11, 2000
I’m totally lost. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think. The only thing I do know is what I feel. I feel terrible. I feel like the world was given to me for the taking and it was suddenly yanked away from me. Like I was sitting on top of the world when it was suddenly pulled off me, propelling me into this huge and dark abyss.
I finally managed to tell Jenny that I love her. I don’t know if she believed me but I felt as if a huge burden was taken away from me. It was such a hard secret to keep, especially when my heart was just crying out for her, and when my arms were just aching to hold her. I was really happy that I finally told her, but I was reminded that happiness comes with a price.
Mark and Jenny are officially dating each other. They went out last night and boom! I’m out of the picture. I now have no chance with Jenny at all. I hope Mark makes her happy, happier than I could ever make her. I swear, if he tries to hurt her in anyway, I will personally see to it that his bones get crushed into pieces.
I was so stupid, I shouldn’t have told Jen about my feelings for her at the bar when we were having a drink. I should’ve told her face to face, with nobody else around. Now she thinks I was just drunk when I did that. I’m just hoping a small voice inside her tells her that I really meant every word that I said.
I saw Mark and Jen holding hands earlier at the hotel lobby. I felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest as I watched them. I couldn’t take my eyes away so that I won’t feel much pain. I watched, envying Mark. He doesn’t know how lucky he is. I just pray he’ll realize it soon.
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