"She got in bed and turned out the light,
I knew that something wasn't quite right,
When I touched her I felt her sadness,
While we're kissing it was pure madness,
Did I hurt her? What did I say?
The distance between us won't go away"
I looked at her sleeping face again. Her cheeks were faintly streaked with tears. What did I do? What have I done to hurt her? Has she regretted what we just did? I know I love her and I am sure she loves me. Not only by words, but from her eyes, her smile, the radiance of her beautiful face. I never thought I'd ever find someone I'd love this much. And now I know what others mean when they say they've found someone to spend the rest of their lives with. I met her only last week when I arrived here in Bali to rest my thoughts. Life with the band had been crazy and I demanded a week off from the others. Bali, I don't know what made me come here. I wanted to know what's so special about this place, and now I know how special this place is. Not only is the landscape far too breathtaking, but here I met her, and within seconds, I knew I was falling in love with her. I admit things had gone fast between us, but we have no regrets. We know we love each other dearly, and we want to spend as much time with each other before I have to fly back and arrange everything with her all over again. Every night we'd make sweet love tenderly, and I always thank God for giving her to me. She's my idea of perfect, and I couldn't ask for anything better.
"Did you ever make love to a girl in tears,
And wonder why she's crying... crying.
Was it too intense? Was she full of fears?
Did she think that I was lying... lying.
When I told her that I loved her
and I whispered in her ears,
Before I made love to a girl in tears"
Tonight had been different. She couldn't stop her tears from falling down and wouldn't tell me why she was crying. Was it I? Was it her? What had gone wrong? It broke my heart to see her crying and I wanted to comfort her, but she refused to take my comfort and kept her silence. Why did she do that? Why didn't she tell me? Didn't she want me again? I told her I loved her, but she cried harder. What was happening?
"It's easier to kiss than to talk,
What does she expect? What does she want?
There's so much I wish I could give her,
When I touch her I felt her shiver,
If I lose her in the dark of the night,
Will I regret it the rest of my life?"
What can be wrong? Why did she cry? I turned around to see her beautiful face sleeping peacefully, and slowly I tried to erase the tearstain on her cheeks. Her skin was soft like a baby. I stroke her silky hair and kissed her forehead. What happened, my dear? What? It tears me apart to see you cry, but it tears me worse when you refused to tell me what's wrong. Did she think I was about to leave her? She knew I love her too much to just leave her. I am flying away tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I was leaving her. Is that it? Is that what she'd been crying about? She shouldn't have worried about that. I know what I should do, even if it sounds crazy. Tomorrow, as she wakes up, I'll ask her to marry me. Yes, I love her that much, and I'm sure she does too. Nothing more could I ask from her apart from her willingness to marry me. I softly kissed her lush lips and she twirled a little on her sleep. As I lay back to sleep, I sighed a sigh of relief. Tomorrow, my dear, will be the day you shall be mine, and nothing will come between us ever again.
"When I told her that I loved her
and I whispered in her ears,
Before I made love to a girl in tears"
I scrunched the letter in disbelief as my tears fall freely from my eyes. The sun has set to rise, but it was nothing like the previous days' beautiful rays. I woke up a little while ago to found an empty bedside beside me. I didn't know what was going on until I saw that letter. And that letter I now had scrunched crushed my heart into the smallest pieces.
Dearest Bryan,
I'm sorry to have to do this, but I couldn't think of anything else to do without having to see myself breaking your heart. I know you love me, and I have no doubt for that. I also love you, Bryan, and I wish I could stay to prove it to you. The past week had been the best week, but there's one thing I haven't tell you. As much as I love you, I can never be with you. I am engaged and to marry this following week. I decided to go here because I wanted some time off before the marriage... never has I thought that I'd meet you. If only I'd met you earlier, I would have stayed with you. I wish things could be any different. If there's one mistake I love in my life, then it is you. I love you, Bryan, and always will, but some things are just not meant to be, even if it means shattered hearts. All I can say is Thank You for realising me that there is still what they call Love. you!
All my love,
Emily
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