Chapter 19
“The night couldn’t be better than this!” Toni thought as she climbed out of the taxi. She decided to go down a few blocks away from the club she was going to. The moon was shining brightly and the stars in the sky seemed to glitter like tiny, white diamonds on rich, black velvet. The streets were busy with people laughing and chatting happily as they walked. Their faces were glowing from the neon lights that were on the buildings and billboards. It seemed like everything and everyone was shining brightly, and Toni was one of them. She was totally aglow with happiness. It has been so long since she went out on a night out, although it did feel quite different because she never went out alone. She had forgotten what it felt like to be out with her friends, just laughing and doing silly things.
She walked past the long queue of people waiting to get in. She went to the person at the front and upon seeing her, he smiled and let her in. She was a friend of the disco’s owner, so she had no problem with entering the club at all in a jiffy. The club was jam-packed. People were everywhere, dancing and having a drink, just generally having a good time. Toni went over to the bar and ordered a drink. She took a look around, sipping her drink and slightly swaying along to the music. She spotted a cute looking guy who was looking at her. His hair was all spiked up and he had an adorable smile. She smiled at him as well and he started walking toward her. Toni decided to meet him halfway. She got up, holding her drink carefully in one hand. She started walking when someone bumped into her, nearly spilling her drink on her dress. Luckily, all the liquid got spilled on the floor. “Will you watch where you’re going?” Toni snapped angrily, checking if she got wet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” he trailed off. Toni looked at him, and her heart nearly got caught in her throat. She was looking at the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes she had ever seen, the same pair of eyes which had looked at her lovingly back then. The same eyes which looked at her coldly as he broke her heart in two. It was Mark. “…notice.” Mark finished, looking quite uncomfortable. “Hey! What happened here?” a familiar voice asked. Toni spun around, and came face to face with Nicky. “Nicky! I’m so glad to see you!” Toni exclaimed, giving him a hug. “How are you? It’s so nice to see you too! Why didn’t you ever return my calls or pick up your phone when I call you?” he asked. “Oh Nicky, we have loads to talk about. I’m really so sorry. It’s just now that I’ve been able to…” Toni stopped, looking over at Mark in case he was listening. He was looking elsewhere. “… move on.” Toni said quietly, dropping her voice. “Oh, I’d like you to meet someone. She’s my girlfriend and I know you’ll love her to bits ‘coz I do!” he said, dragging Toni to the table where the others were. “Toni!” Almost all of them shouted in unison. Shane hugged her, followed by Sandra, Helen and Bryan, Kian then Patricia. “Oh my gosh! Loraine! I can’t believe this! You’re Nicky’s girl? Oh man! I think I’m gonna faint!” Toni screamed, hugging her friend. “It’s so nice to see you!” Loraine said as they parted. “I really can’t believe this is happening. What are you doing here by the way?” Toni asked. “Well, I’ve moved to London as I’ve told you before, but I kind of forgot to mention I met Nicky before that. Well, he asked me to go over here to Ireland for a while with him so I could see what it was like.”
They all sat down, and Toni apologized to everybody for not having returned their calls and she explained to them why. She was quite relieved, as well as everyone else, that Mark and Alessia weren’t around. They were all joking around and the lads were funnier than ever. They also congratulated Toni on her show on the radio. “We girls listen to it everyday believe it or not. And we make sure we have our walkman with us just incase we wouldn’t be able to locate a radio!” Sandra said. “Yeah! All of us lads listen to it as well.” Shane added. “We all happened to be listening in when you filled in for the dj on the request show. You were great!” Kian said. “Thanks. I was totally nervous that day. I was like, notified that I’d be replacing him 10 minutes before the show!” Toni said, looking at her friends. She had missed them all so much and it was so good to be with them. She would even give up her career, just to be with all of them again. “We were trying to phone in and ask if it was you but we just couldn’t get through.” Bryan said.
They were all constantly laughing, talking about the things that they have been up to. “Hi guys!” someone said, making them all freeze and go quiet. Toni didn’t even need to turn around to guess who it was. “Hey there Alessia. Where have you been?” Helen asked. All of them were so uncomfortable, especially Toni. She didn’t know if she should get up and leave but Nicky looked at her as if to say that she should stay. “Well, I went over to the ladies room and Mark spotted me afterwards so we went dancing a bit.” Mark and Alessia sat down, and it was as if fate couldn’t be a bit nicer to Toni. The only vacant seats were the ones in front of her. They were all totally silent, and if there weren’t loud music playing and people talking, you could hear a needle drop on the floor. Bryan tried to break the ice by telling funny stories but no one really laughed. Sure they did but it was more out of respect. Alessia and Mark started whispering to each other, and Toni kept her face directly away from them. She tried concentrating on what Bryan was saying but she really couldn’t. Her eyes were constantly glancing over Mark and Alessia, even if she tried so hard not to. They kept whispering, but it was loud enough for Toni to hear. Mark kept saying “I love you” and Alessia would answer back. Toni smiled wryly to herself. She remembered how Mark had whispered “I love you” in her ear, and she was hearing it all over again, except that it wasn’t for her. He planted little kisses on Alessia’s face as Alessia held him close. Toni placed her elbow on the table, supporting the side of her face with her hand and looking completely over her right so it seemed as she was listening to Bryan. The truth was, she was slightly covering her eyes for her not to see what she knew would crush the pieces of her heart that had just begun to slowly heal. Nicky was sitting beside her, seething as he looked at Mark and Alessia. Loraine whispered to him that he shouldn’t bother getting worked up about it. He looked at Toni. She smiled at him, and he did the same, placing his hand on hers which was on top of the table. He gave it a gently squeeze, as if to say everything will be okay. He just held her hand, as Loraine, him and Toni talked. Loraine didn’t talk much and Nicky got slightly worried. He looked at her, then looked at his hand, which was on top of Toni’s, then back again at Loraine. She smiled, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, as if to assure him it was okay. Toni felt as if someone stabbed her heart when she saw this. She really didn’t mind, after all she had realized a long time ago that she wasn’t in love with Nicky. It just hurt her that everyone had to be so loved up and happy. She looked around. Everyone was facing their own boyfriends or girlfriends ( fiance and fiancee for Bryan and Helen that is), looking deeply into each other’s eyes when she had no one. “No wonder I preferred staying home for the past few months.” she said. She felt her heart ache even more, as she glanced over at Mark and Alessia. Mark ran his index finger from Alessia’s forehead all the way down to her lips as he gave her a soft kiss. Toni felt like she could die. It was their “special kiss” before. She loved it when Mark used to do that to her. “Used to… that’s past tense just in case you’re forgetting Toni! That’s all in the past. Live with it. It’s finished.” Toni told herself, biting her lower lip. “Excuse me you guys.” Toni said, getting up abruptly, almost knocking over a few glasses. She turned around just in time to hide the tears that were running down her cheeks.
Mark looked up after Toni, as she got up and left the table and disappeared into the crowd. He knew she was going to cry. She’s always like that. Toni could never learn how to control her emotions. It was one of the things that Mark loved in her. She was so transparent, she could never hide anything. She could never hide from a person how much she loves him or hates him. She was so… natural. “Serves her right.” he muttered to himself. “What did you say darling?” Alessia asked him. “Nothing sweety.” he said, smiling at her. He looked back at the crowd, searching for Toni. He spotted her, and he was now sure that she was crying. “Go on, cry all you want. I don’t care anyway.” he thought. But why did his whole heart and soul scream, ache and long to hold her and tell her he was sorry and that everything was going to be okay?