Chapter 27
“Hey!” Nicky said, tapping Toni lightly on the shoulder. She looked up as Nicky sat beside her. Toni looked out of the window. “What’s out there that you’re busy watching?” he asked, craning his neck to see out of the window. “Nothing.” she mumbled, still looking blankly outside. “Snap out of it Toni. You’ve been like that since Mark left the room with Alessia.” “I know. I just can’t help it Nicky.” “Toni, I remember the last time we had one of our serious talks on the phone. I thought you told me you’ve gotten over him. That was three months ago wasn’t it?” he asked. Toni sighed. “Nicky, you know how hard it is to forget someone. It’s just so hard because he’s back in my life again. It was easy to tell you that I’ve gotten over him because it had been months since I last saw him. You’re so lucky you’ve found Loraine. You, of all people, should understand me. I know you haven’t gotten over Alessia too.” “That’s where you’re wrong.” Nicky said, anger building up in him. Toni saw it in his eyes. “Don’t lie to me Nicky. I know you too well. You should’ve seen the way you looked at her when she entered the room.” “Okay, okay, I admit it. Don’t go hating me coz I still love Alessia and I’m with your friend. Besides, Loraine knows all about it. And I really do love Loraine as well.” “I know.” Nicky looked around to check once again if they were still out of earshot. “Does this mean you still love Mark then?” “I don’t want to talk about this Nicky.” she said as she looked out of the window once again. “Suit yourself.” Nicky said, a smile spreading across his lips. Toni looked at him. “What are you smiling about?” she kidded as she playfully kicked Nicky’s foot. “Nothing.” he said, kicking her back. It was really so hard for them to keep secrets from each other. They knew one another too well now. Even if Toni didn’t admit it verbally or in anyway, Nicky knew that Toni was still madly in love with Mark. And he was 100% sure of it. No wonder she forgave him just like that.
“Where were you last night Mark? I’ve been so worried over you. I didn’t get any sleep at all.” Alessia said, her arms folded across her chest. They were standing at the veranda of Mark’s room. The air was absolutely chilly but Alessia couldn’t care less. “I’m so sorry. I was…” Mark said, but he couldn’t continue. He wanted to tell Alessia now what he had tried to tell her the evening before. “Where were you?” Alessia asked angrily. “Alessia, there’s really a lot we need to talk about. I don’t know where to begin.” he said, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his trousers. “Begin by telling me where you were last night.” she said icily. Mark couldn’t even look at her. She wiped something away from her face and that’s when he saw it. There was so much pain and hurt in her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. Mark kept silent. “Tell me I didn’t see what I just saw this morning.” she said in between sobs. “What did you see?” he asked cautiously. “That you arrived at the hotel with Toni, wearing the same clothes you had on last night.” she said, crying harder. “Lie to me Mark! Lie to me! Tell me I didn’t see it!” she screamed, her whole body shaking at the intense pain she felt in her heart. “Alessia, if you’re thinking that I slept with Toni, no. It is not true. I went to her house because I needed to talk to her. I needed to patch things up with her. I needed to think. I needed to be away from you for a while. I was so confused I didn’t know where to go. I was too drunk to go back to the hotel and apologize to you so she let me stay there.” Mark said. “Why did you need to get away from me?” she asked. Her sobbing has stopped but her tears were still flowing uncontrollably down her face. “I… I still haven’t sorted things out yet. I really don’t know why.” Mark lied. He still didn’t have the strength to tell her. He felt so ashamed. It was as if he wasn’t man enough to tell the truth. He just didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Mark approached Alessia, taking her in his arms. “I’m so sorry.” he whispered. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t hug him back. She just stood there, completely motionless. Mark didn’t have to tell her why he left off to get away from her. She knew their relationship was ending, and she completely knew why.
“That’s a wrap! Well, for today that is.” the director said. “Thank God!” Toni said as she sank further back in her chair. “Hey! Didn’t you have fun?” Shane asked. “I did, but I was so nervous all the time. Thank goodness you guys were here to keep me laughing nonstop! This make up is making my face itch! You’ll have to excuse me guys, I’ll be back in a sec!” Toni said as she stood up and went to her room. What she said was true, except for the part that she had fun that is. The day was completely horrible. Mark and Alessia had managed to patch things up with their little talk, being completely sweet for the whole day. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other whenever they were off camera. After washing her face, she went out to the terrace and looked at the beautiful night sky. The stars were shining brightly, the breeze cool and the moon was full. She closed her eyes and leaned on the railings. She suddenly remembered the first time she and Mark kissed. It was on a night like this at Kian’s house. They were at a party that Kian threw. She smiled, remembering every single detail of it. Her reminiscing was suddenly shattered. “Forget him. He’s just messing with your head. He told you himself this morning remember?” she told herself. “Besides, he’s far too happy with Alessia now.” she whispered, hugging herself as a cold breeze passed by. As if on cue, Alessia and Mark went to their terrace, giggling while they were hugging each other. “Could God be angry at me or something? I wonder what I did wrong for Him to punish me like this.” she thought as she smiled at them and waved when they saw her. They waved back and she went into her room. Everything between them was very civil for the rest of the day, and she couldn’t take much more. They decided to put the past in its place, without really talking about it. Well, at least she and Mark did. She couldn’t keep acting as if everything was okay when inside she was dying. Shutting the sliding door tightly, she screamed at the top of her lungs. Bryan, who was in the room across her room, came running into her room, practically breaking the door down. Helen followed him. “What’s wrong?” they both asked, totally alarmed. Mark and Alessia peeped through the door. “Are you okay?” Mark asked. “Yeah, I thought I saw a mouse.” she said. Mark and Alessia didn’t look convinced. “Geez… I thought someone died or something.” Helen said. Kian came in Toni’s room as well. “What was that?” he asked. Mark headed back to his room followed by Alessia. “Nothing! I just thought I saw a mouse!” Toni said. Helen closed the door. “Toni, cut the mouse crap. You? Afraid of a mouse? You have got to be kidding! I know you’re scared of frogs but that’ the only creature that you’re scared of. Well, that’s what I know that is.” Helen said as she sat on Toni’s bed. Bryan sat beside her and Kian pulled a chair. “Okay, I just… needed to get that out of my system.” “What happened?” Kian asked. Toni couldn’t handle it anymore. She just had to tell someone. “I just can’t go on and continue this show-thing anymore. It’s tearing me into pieces. I can’t continue being with you guys.” “Is this because we ruined your Christmas vacation?” Bryan asked. “No, I can’t stand seeing Mark.” she said, sighing exasperatedly. “But you two just made up. Are you still angry at him?” Helen asked. “No… I just can’t stand seeing him.” she said simply. “I think Toni’s sentence is incomplete.” Kian said, smiling. “What do you mean?” Toni asked. “It should be, ‘I can’t stand seeing Mark with Alessia.’ shouldn’t it?” he asked. Toni looked away. Bryan smiled. “Is that so? I mean, is that you wanted to say?” he asked. Helen was giggling by this time. “Toni, come on. Admit it. We already know that you’re still in love with Mark. We just want to hear…” “Fine! I am in love with Mark! I’m so in love with him it hurts so much each time I see him with Alessia. There, I’ve said it! Are you happy now?” Toni said, frustrated. Kian started laughing. “This is too good to be true.” Bryan said, as he joined in the laughter, leaving Toni thinking of what it was that was so funny.