Page 2 of Jokes

The truth behind "The Scream"

OK, We've invented the rod rest now we just need to wait for someone to invent the fishing rod.

Faster, We need to get to the fishing mark before the competiton

Shark fishing was more fun in the olden days

Some times the bait disappears without a trace


Lost weights are put to good use









It had been raining heavier than normal last night

Why Fish are Better than Women.

  1. They don't complain about the size of your rod.

  2. You can take home more than one fish per night.

  3. They give you a good nights entertainment and dinner next day.

  4. Fish are willing to swallow anything.

  5. You feel proud to be seen with a big fat fish.

  6. Fish are happy when you throw them back.

  7. You catch fish on crab, but catch crabs off women

  8. You can boast about your fish down the pub.

  9. Fish don't talk about your tackle with their mates.

  10. Fish only have five second memories.

THE ANGLERS PRAYER.

Please O Lord let me catch something,
I've been here 6 hours what more do thy want, a human sacrifice.
Give me back the feeling in my fingers so I may tie this knot.
I heard your son found a good spot once
guide me O lord to it (is it easy to get parked).
Do thy trick like thou did with thee bread & fishes, for my bait supplies do runneth low.
Grant me the faith to walk on water for thee tide hath come in.
Let my friends forever believe my story
about thee one that got away. AMEN

Two mackems hit on the idea of opening a stall on a pier to sell hotdogs to anglers. On the first day they arrive at 6 am and leave at midnight without selling a single hot dog. The same thing happened on the 2nd, 3rd and so forth. After a couple of weeks they reduced the price, but still people walked past, so they introduced a buy one get one free deal but still no customers. The months rolled past and everything was tried to get a customer but none came. Then one cold December day the eldest said "Every day for the past year we've arrived on this pier at six in the morning and stayed regardless of sun, rain, hail and snow but we have not sold one hotdog. I am up to my ears in debt, my house and car have been reprocessed and my wife has left. Lets pack up and open a brothel." The youngest looked at him and replied "Don't be daft, if no one will by hotdogs who'll buy soup."

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