1. I took up fishing because...
The police would not grant me a firearms licence
I prefer solitary pursuits
I like hurting small animals

2. I wear waders because...
I like the feel of rubber
mother makes me wear them in bed to stop my bad habit
To keep my legs dry

3. When the fish are not biting I amuse myself by...
tidying up my tacklebox
throwing a big knife into a picture of my boss drawn in the sand
holding a conversation with the man only I can see

4. I like visiting fishing websites because...
they might contain adult material involving fish
I have a thing about pictures of men in waterproofs
I might learn something to improve my fishing

5. If I caught a record breaking fish on the endangered list I would..
take a photo and release it back alive
stuff it and keep it as my special friend
stick its head on a spike in my garden

6. When killing fish I prefer to...
strike with a priest
use a semi automatic
smash its head in with a baseball bat

7. I like night fishing because...
nobody can see me
I catch more fish at night
sunlight will cause me to bust into flames

8. I like fishing because...
I prefer to be left alone
I enjoy being outdoors
it gives me a chance to kill things

9. I like fishing on my own because...
I can hear the voices better, they tell me to hurt people
it hides the fact I have no friends
I enjoy peace and tranquillity on occasions

10. The best thing about pier fishing is...
you might see the mafia dump a body
there are lots of anglers to talk to
urinating over the side on to seagulls

11. Putting all my strength into a cast helps me...
release pent up fustrations
practise punch someone
gain greater distance

12. After landing a fish that has put up a good fight do you..
dispatch or release it
put it back on the hook for an action replay
brand the fish with your sign before releasing

13. A floatation suit is used to..
jump off high buildings
walk on water
keep you afloat if you fall in

14. I consider this test..
a total waste of time
a fasinating journey of self discovery
my only friend

15. Fishing line can also be used to...
hang pictures on walls
garot all none believers
make me fly like superman

16. My best chat up line is..
want to go fishing in my yacht, the QE2
I've a bigger rod in my trousers
want to put my tackle in your box

17. Global warming means...
I won't have to walk so far to go fishing
I get to catch a wider range of species and my feet won't get so cold
all of the above

18. I like cod because...
It's all the fish n chip shops sells
of the culinary and sporting value
It's the only fish name I can spell

19. when I'm at work I fantasize about ...
catching a huge fish
being in bed with the blonde opposite with a huge fish
crucifiying a basket of kittens with my nail gun

20. Getting out of bed early means ...
you get the 1st choice of the better fishing marks
you forgot to put the clocks forward
you want to tie the milkman up and have your wicked way

21. You have not been fishing for a while, is it because ...
of work/family commitments
your in prison awaiting the death sentence
you have a court order banning you from going within 100 yards of a fish after that incident in Tescos

22. I would like a boat ...
To smuggle illegal immigrants into the country to work in my bait digging business
To get off this island, HELP
to go fishing in

23.When I return from a nights fishing I like...
To put my catch in the bath and swim with them pretending I'm a walrus
a shower and a hot meal
to sleep in my fishing clothes so i can go fishing in the morning

24. Eels are often taken home alive to ...
maintain their freshness for the kitchen
put through the neighbours letterbox
ram up my backside as a cure for constipation

25. Mackerel are good to eat because...
They swim around outfall pipes eating raw human shit increasing their flavour
I am a dolphin
no scales makes them easy to clean

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