Marriage/Divorce, What It Should Mean To You

by

Anthony Valasek

Marriage has become a game in recent decades. Some people just do it on a whim, others for social stature. They say, "No big deal, if we don't like it, we'll get a divorce". Year after year, divorce rates climb and are at an alarming level. Recent studies show that 1 out of 2 couples that get married end up in a divorce. That is 50% folks, and the results and effects on our nations morality is staggering. The children in these relationships, if you can call it one, are victims of this abuse and are being taught that this behavior is acceptable, the question is by whom? Some say that it is better for the parents to get a divorce than put their children through the fighting. Did you ever stop and think what this is teaching the future generation of our country? What are these children learning from these experiences? These children are learning that it is acceptable to get a divorce, don't try to work out any differences, families don't matter, and just give up instead of keep trying.

Even in our churches, the divorce rate is quite high. The people twist the scriptures into believing that it is O.K. and acceptable to God. Is this what the Bible teaches? This report will look at exactly what God thinks of this "acceptable" behavior that is sweeping the nation. I think that you will find that this is exactly opposite of what the Bible teaches.

Let us first look at the verses which seem to say that it is O.K. to get a divorce. These verses are: Deut. 24:1-3 and Mat. 19:9.

Deuteronomy 24:1-3
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out, of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendest her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;

Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Now, let us look at how God feels about divorce (Mat. 19:8, Mark 10:5-6, and Mal. 2:15-16).

Matthew 19:8
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Mark 10:5-6
And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

Malachi 2:15-16
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Let us also keep in mind that the Bible says that we should forgive one another for sins committed against us as we are forgiven by God (Eph. 4:32 and Col 3:13). The Bible also teaches that committing one sin is like breaking all of God's laws and commandments (James 2:10).

Ephesians 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:13
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

James 2:10
For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

Looking at these passages by themselves, it appears that there is a contradiction. It seems to say that divorce is acceptable to God in one instance and not acceptable in another. The key to understanding these passages is to take all of the pieces of the puzzle together, thus creating an entirely different, and correct understanding of what is meant. When we look at these scriptures as a whole, we can see that God is only tolerant of divorce, but he really hates it and wants us to forgive, and work out our differences, as he has forgiven us.

Now let us look at an insight that God has been gracious enough to give me concerning this issue of divorce. I don't think that most people realize the deep, spiritual significance of marriage and divorce. I hope that in the process of studying this issue, that we can come to a better understanding of marriage and what it should mean to us.

We, as God's people, were blessed enough to have a loving, long-suffering, and forgiving God. When we accept the sacrifice of Christ and acknowledge his sovereign authority, we are forgiven of our sins and enter Christ's body, joined as one, as two that have entered a marriage arrangement have become (Mat. 19:5-6). In this same sense, we as Christians are as a whole considered the bride of Christ (Isaiah 61:10 and Joel 2:16). When we sin against God, we have committed adultery (Psalms 50:18 and Rom. 2:22) against this marriage arrangement. Many times in scripture, has God referred to a sinful nation or generation as an adulterous nation or generation (Jer. 3:8, 5:7, 9:2, 13:27, Eze. 23:37, Mat. 12:39, 16:4, Mark 8:38, and Rev. 2:22). Keeping this in mind, when we pray, do we not ask God to forgive our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us (Mat. 6:14-15, Mark 11:25-26, and Luke 6:37, 11:4)? I hope that you now are beginning to understand the spiritual implications of this marriage arrangement we have entered into.

Matthew 19:5-6
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put assunder.

Isaiah 61:10
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.

Joel 2:16
Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts; let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet.

Psalms 50:18
When thou sawest a thief, then thou counsentedst with him, and hast been partaker with adulterers.

Romans 2:22
Thou that sayest a man should not commit adultery dost thou commit adultery? thou that abhorrest idols, dost thou commit sacrilege?

Jeremiah 3:8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

Jeremiah 5:7
How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods: when I had fed them to the full, they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots' houses.

Jeremiah 9:2
Oh that I had in the wilderness a lodging place of wayfaring men: that I might leave my people, and go from them! for they be all adulterers, an assembly of treacherous men.

Jeremiah 13:27
I have seen thy adulteries, and thy neighings, the lewdness of thy whoredom, and thine abominations on the hills in the fields. Woe unto thee, O Jerusalem! wilt thou not be made clean? when shall it once be?

Ezekiel 23:37
That they have committed adultery, and blood is in their hands, and with their idols have they committed adultery, and have also caused their sons, whom they bare unto me, to pass for them through the fire, to devour them.

Matthew 12:39
But he answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given to it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas.

Matthew 16:4
A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed.

Mark 8:38
Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words, in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him also shall be the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

Revelation 2:22
Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.

Matthew 6:14-15
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Mark 11:25-26
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any; that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Luke 6:37
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Luke 11:4
And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is debted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

We should also at this point, take a look at what is the penalty for adultery. This is clearly shown in these verses: Lev. 20:20, Prov. 6:32, Mark 8:38, 1 Cor. 6:9-10, Heb. 13:4, and Rev. 2:22-23.

Leviticus 20:20
And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid, betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged;

Proverbs 6:32
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefile: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Revelation 2:22-23
Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.

Let me explain this, what I'll call the parable of the marriage. When someone gets a divorce, they are in a sense, telling God that they do not forgive the spouse of the sin or adulterous action that they have committed, and are divorcing them or casting them aside. Then when this same person prays for forgiveness of his or her sin or adulterous action, they ask God to forgive them as they have forgiven their spouse. In effect, they are telling God, that it is O.K. for God to cast them (the bride) out or divorce them accordingly. Do you now understand the spiritual ramifications of this action? Do you understand what would happen if God spiritually divorced you? The answer is your complete, total, and eternal destruction (Rev. 2:22-23).

Another thing that should come to mind is the vows that you take when entering a marriage. When you say, "till death do us part" (Rom. 7:2), do you really understand the spiritual aspects of this? Let me explain this to you. We are shown in the Bible that to sin, is to die, both physically and spiritually (Rom. 6:23, 8:6, and 8:13). When we sin, we are considered dead to Christ, and Christ is relieved of his duty of husband to his future bride. We should all be very thankful that he is much more forgiving than we are. Would you marry the same person thousands of times, if that person keeps committing adultery? I doubt it.

Romans 7:2
For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Romans 8:13
For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do martify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

I want to leave you with this thought. When Christ comes to set up his eternal kingdom, he will have what is called the marriage supper of the lamb (Rev. 19:7-9). Those who are not invited to attend will be destroyed (Rev. 19:21). The implication is this, we as Christians are the bride to be, not the bride that is. The spiritual wedding has not yet taken place, we have just been accepted as the future bride, engaged so to speak. The entering of a marriage contract is not the marriage itself, but the promise to be married. At this stage, we are being judged worthy or not to be married. Yes, our sins have been forgiven, but we must follow Christ's example and forgive those who have sinned against us. Let us all make sure that we will be invited to our own wedding and not be divorced before we even get married. Remember, our High Priest can not marry a divorced woman, but must marry a pure virgin (Lev. 21:10, 21:14).

Revelation 19:7-9
Let us be glad and refoice, and give honor to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

Revelation 19:21
And the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceeded out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh.

Leviticus 21:10
And he that is the high priest among his brethren, upon whose head the anointing oil was poured, and that is consecrated to put on the garments, shall not uncover his head, nor rend his clothes;

Leviticus 21:14
A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife.

I pray that this little study has given you a new look and understanding of the deep, spiritual nature of a marriage, and that it is not something that should be taken lightly.

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