GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH~~ I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. What for? I say give the road to the chickens, and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road, but only if there is a compelling reason to go, and I don't see one, and my administration, when I am elected president, won't stand for it. Anything else is ridiculousness.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN~~ I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey, and no chicken shoud be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.

SECRETARY CHENEY~~ Chickens are big-time fowls because they have wings. I know fowls, and I dealt with many of them when I was Secretary of Defense. They can fly if they want to, but they seldom do. I know that from personal experience, chickens don't want to cross the road, and the shouldn't be forced or coerced by big-time career politicians. They don't need help crossing the road, and certainly not the help of big government. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself and wouldn't accept help from anyone, if I did.

RALPH NADER~~ Chickens are misled by the evil tire makers nto believing there is a road. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN~~ To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

JERRY FALWELL~~ Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side". "Yes my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

DR SEUSS~~ Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY~~ To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.~~ I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motive called into question.

GRANDPA~~ In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE~~ It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX~~ It was an historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN~~ This was an unprovoked act of rebellion on the part of that chicken, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK~~ To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER~~ You saw it cross the road wih your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD~~ The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES~~ I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an inestricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN~~ Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON~~ I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken? Could you define "chicken" please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN~~ The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE~~ And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

RONALD REAGAN~~ What chicken?