Note that the universal TOON monetary unit is called "Funny Munny" and is based on Lead (because it's so much more common then gold and causes insanity!) The average cartoon character will start with $500 and will usually try to earn, steal, or otherwise procure more as soon as possible.
New Shtick
Filthy Rich (4 points)
You have lots and lots and lots of money! Who cares how you got it, just make something up, the point is that you're rich! You no longer have to worry about Funny Munny, instead, whenver you want to pay for something, anything, just make a Shtick roll and you can pull out wads of cash! The trick is that you will never give away Munny (or, at least, not to the other Players) and Filthy Rich characters tend to be penny-pinchers and miserly. An Animator who thinks a Filthy Rich character is abusing his Munny, isn't being funny, or just plain failed their Shtick roll, can cause some financial disaster to befall the character depleting ALL reserves of Munny (down to the penny).
Special: Filthy Rich characters can say they have anything opulent and expensive (private yahts and jets, body guards, jewels and big mansions, etc.), and at any time! (except, you guessed it, unless the Animator says otherwise)
Acid - Best when used in a trap or when Thrown at a target! One gallon does 2d damage. Cost: ƒ$50 per gallon.
Ammo - Generally Guns don't need ammo in cartoons. Some may need special Ammo (like Paint, Acid, or Bowling Balls) and some cartoon genres require Ammo (Car-Toon Wars). So, it is up to The Animator.
Animals - Quite a variety has ACME! Our bestsellers are Piranhas, Skunks, Sharks, Bats, and Tazmanian Devils! Generally they do 1d of Angry Animal damage and cost $100. You also may be interested in our Cages... (fish bowl comes with Piranhas)
Answers - See "Questions"
Anvils:
Normal - Drop them on ususpecting targets! Great fun! 1d damage, $100 each.
Exploding - After they hit, they go bang! Does the normal damage when hits plus another 1d when it explodes. $200
Glue-filled - Hollow and filled with glue. After dealing normal anvil damage, these do 1d Sticky Damage to target's ZIP! $200
Spring-Loaded - If your target Dodges your anvil, the spring on the bottom will bounce it back up for another hit! $200
Foam Rubber - Fool your friends and family! These anvils look and taste real, but are made of foam and do no damage! $10
Armor:
Armor, light - Adds 1 Hit Point, costs $50
Armor, medium - Adds 2 Hit Points, costs $100
Armor, heavy - Adds 3 Hit Points, costs $250
Armor, xtra-heavy - Adds 4 Hit Points, costs $500
Art Supplies - Since this is a cartoon, art supplies can be used to draw "real" things! This takes a Write roll to do efficiently, but anyone can re-draw an erased character (see "Eraser") without needing to roll. You have to be careful, because any art supply could belong to an Animator, and you don't want to fool around with The Animator's stuff, now do you? $100 each.
Balloons:
Normal - Just like our Water Balloons, but used to inflate with air instead! If you don't weigh very much, or are too stupid to know better, these balloons will lift you into the sky! $10 for a pocketful of them.
Water - Boggles when Thrown! $10 for a pocket full of them.
Bananas - See "Food"
Bowling Balls - Great for a game of ten-pin or for dropping on heads. They do 1d damage and only cost $50.
Bombs - See "Explosives"
Boobytraps - See "Traps"
Boxing Gloves - Put these beautiful babies on to pack a punch! Your opponent will never know they're filled with your choice of horseshoes, bricks, or cream pies! $100, count as weapons.
Brushes:
Art - The Animator uses this for drawing, see "Art Supplies"
Hair - Keep those snarls and tangles out with our Hair Brushes. Hare Brushes are also available. $5 each.
Bucket - Put anything you want in it; combine with our paint, water or acid; place above door; sit back and watch the fun! $1
Bullets - See "Ammo"
Cages - The perfect way to snare a sucker. Drop them from above or toss 'em in and lock the door. The only way to open a cage is with a successful MUSCLE roll. $200 each.
Cameras - Photo quality every time. Capture those loving moments when some dweeb falls for a trapped carrot. $500 for cameras with unlimited film!
Cannons - See "Guns"
Cannonballs - See "Ammo"
Chains - Better then ropes, they're chains! $5 per foot.
Chainsaws - See "Weapons"
Cherry Bombs - See "Explosives"
Chewing Gum - See "Food"
Chopsticks - Great for eating as well as poking. $1 per pair.
Clocks and Watches - Tells the time, and maybe a few other things... $5 for cheap ones, more for quality brands.
Clothes - Look the role! We have hats, pants, gloves, scarves, clodhoppers, cumberbuns, spats, and even mukluks! $10 each.
Compass - Always points to whatever you want, just ask it and watch the arrow spin! Animators will know this item tends to be Shoddy, or even to turn Shoddy spontaneously. $100 each.
Computer - Who needs one of thse unless you're a geeky four-eyes Weird Scientist? Oh, you are? Well, do we have the computer for you! Your choice of brand names for only $1000 each.
Costumes - Quick Change/Disguise not your forte? Try on a new costume. They come in all shapes and sizes and will only be noticed with a successful SMARTS roll. $100 each.
Cushion, Whoopie - See "Pranks"
Cyberstuff - See Cybertoon 2020 ½ in the Tooniversal Tourguide
Dagger - See "Weapons"
Dynamite - See Explosives
Eggs - The yolk will be on them when they're Boggled - that's right, Boggled - by an egg in the face! Available in hard-boiled, raw, and stinky rotten. $5 per dozen.
Eggbeater - See "Household Goods," but great protection against those rotten eggs someone
Erasers - Big, pink, rubber erasers! They erase ... well, anything! Make a ZIP roll to catch a foe and specify which part of the body you are erasing or if you're just erasing from top to bottom or from bottom to top. $500
Explosives - All kinds of explosives for any occassion. Blast 'em, bomb 'em, or just scare 'em. All explosives do 1d+1 damage and cost $100 each. Larger explosives are up to The Animator to allow.
Fans - Useful for oh-so-much-more than just keeping cool in the summer. $10 for any size, but $20 for gigantic sizes.
Flag-Gun - See "Pranks" Looks just like a real gun, but when fired a flag pops out with the letters "Bang!" on it.
Flowers, Squirting - "See Pranks"
Food - All food produces a Boggle, some might actually do damage instead, or might Boggle and do damage. Effects are up to The Animator. $10 per Food.
Fragrances - Perfumes, parfumes, colognes, stink bombs, smelly socks, and all other types of odorous oddities! $50 each.
Frying Pan - Use it to assert your authority or just fry up some food. Counts as a weapon that goes "splaaannnnggg!" and costs $50
Gas - Keep this around in case you're ever driving around near a dark, spooky house during a rainstorm out in the middle of nowhere. Or douse people with it and set it aflame! Mm, rabbit flambe!
Glasses - These make you look smart, and are good for holding beverages! $1 each. Throwable!
Glue - Stick it to them, or to anything else. The uses are limited only by your imagination! $1 for a small bottle, $10 for a whole bucket.
Goons - Get your own bodyguards! That's right, ACME Goons will take care of those pesky people you would prefer to pulverize. They have MUSCLE and Fight of 6 and stick around until they Fall Down. $500 each + benefits.
Grilled Cheese Sandwhich - See "Food"
Guns - All guns do 1d damage with Fire Gun. More deadly guns might be allowed by your Animator. Cost is $100 + $100 per additional point of damage up to +3. For $1000 you can get a gun that does 2d damage.
Gunpowder - See "Explosives"
Hand Buzzers - See "Pranks"
Handcuffs - Once these are on there's only one way to get them off and that is with the key (key almost always included). Actually, there are several other ways of getting these off, but only when it's funny.
Instant Pills - Plant it, water it, watch it grow into.... anything! We have Instant Animals, Instant Food, Instant Goons, just name what you want and we can instatize it! Price is as per item + $100.
Itching Powder - See "Pranks"
Knives - See "Weapons"
Lunch - See "Food"
Magnets - Irresistably charming. These pull metalic (and sometime non-metalic objects) to you in an instant. Characters with metal, or made of metal, have to make a MUSCLE roll or be pulled toward magnets. However, if the object is heavier than you, you're the one who has to make the MUSCLE roll! Price is by size: $10 small, $20 medium, $50 large, $100 collosal.
Magnifying Glass - Get up close and impersonal when you walk around with one of our super-magnifing glasses held up to one eye. Look the sleuth for only $50
Makeup Kit - Great for you Quick Change/Disguisers out there! Includes lipstick, foundation, blush, and everything else you need to look like someone - or something - else. Includes crayons and markers, but Vanishing Cream sold seperately. $100
Mallets - See "Weapons"
Marbles - Don't lose these gems, they're a hoot! Dump them on the ground and watch the dancefloor pick up! All characters slipping on marbles must make a ZIP roll or fall flat on their face or bum. $1 each, or $10 for a bucket full!
Masks - See "Costumes"
Matches - 'Lil Devil brand matches. Get them while they're hot! $1 for a pack.
Medical Kit - This cannot be used to heal someone; it can only be used to pull out a stethoscope, listen for a hearbeat, and declare someone dead. However, you can reach in an pull out any one medical-type of Weapon (such as saws, blades, and hammers). Costs $200.
Mirror - Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, or on the floor, or in your hand. We have hand-mirrors ($10), full-length mirrors ($100), and even larger! ($500) We also have funhouse mirrors for twice the price. Magic mirrors tend to have attitudes so are also twice the price, even if they're funhouse magic mirrors.
Monsters - We have a variety of monsters. Prices depend on which one you want, so as your friendly Animator. We have a "Generic Monster" that is big, red, hairy, and wears snakers; guarenteed to give your friends a spook! $200 each, not responsible for anything to do with the monster.
Moustraps - See "Traps"
Musical Instruments - We have them all for one low price; banjos, trumpets, kazoos, flutes, violins, violas, zinzolins... wait, that's not an instrument... but we have it too! From Accordians to Zithers, your choice, only $100 (note that excessively large musical instruments, such as grand pianos and orchestras, will cost more).
Nets - These are small "cages". When you successfully Throw/Drop one of these on someone, they're trapped and can't move! Instead of escaping with a MUSCLE roll, they have to get out with either a ZIP or Prestidigitation roll.
Oil - Dump this wherever you can, it makes life funnier! Oil on any surface will add 2 to all Climb rolls. On a floor, anyone stepping on it must make a ZIP roll or fall on their face. $10 per gallon.
Pens, Pencils, Crayons, and Brushes - See "Art Supplies"
Perfume - See "Fragrances"
Pies - See "Food"
Pogo Sticks - See "Vehicles"
Potions - We have all types of potions for sale. They are called "Potions" in Dungeons & Toons, but can be called "Wonder Tonic", "Pepto-gum" or anything else that fits the bill for the cartoon genre. All "Potions" are $100 each and tend to be Shoddy (make a Read roll to make out what the label says). Special potions may be incredibly expensive, unavailable, or both! Available potions are Potion of... ESP, Flying Resistance, Generosity, Heeling, Lying Resistance, Imboggability, Passiveness, Slowness, and Snoring.
Pranks - All types! Squirting Flowers, Joy Buzzers, Exploding Birthday Presents, Whoopie Cushions, Snakes-in-Bottle, Bottle-in-Snakes, Fake Money, Two-Headed Coins, Hidden Pie Delights, Exploding Cigars (and Exploding Anythings), an lots more! Generally these will Boggle or do 1d damage (or both!) at The Animator's desicion. $100 for Pranks that Boggle or do 1d of damage. $250 for those that do both. Only $10 for those that do neither.
Questions - See "Answers"
Repellents - We stock lots of varieties of repellents, just name any species and we can repel it for you! Cost is only $20 per bottle, but sometimes we goof up and accidentally put attractants into a bottle instead (make a SMARTS roll to notice).
Rings - Hoola, wedding, magic, we have 'em all. See Animator for details.
Robots - As listed in our great section in the Tooniversal Tourguide catalog.
Rocket Pack - The only way to fly! ... That is, if you don't have the Flying Shtick! Make an Operate Contraption to keep control of this destructive thing. See "Vehicles"
Roleplaying Games - Great fun! We have Dungeons & Toons, Advanced Dungeons & Toons, BURPS, SLURPS, Toonpire: The Pasquinade, TUNE, and Crawl of Catchoolu.
Rollerblades/Rollerskates - See "Vehicles"
Rope - The wonder tool! Only $1 per foot. Also comes in string, cord, and baling wire varieties.
Rubber Bands - Available in Normal and Insane sizes. $1 for normal sized rubber bands, $50 for insane sized rubber bands.
Rubber Chicken - See "Rubber Poultry"
Rubber Duckie - See "Rubber Poultry"
Rubber Poultry - Comes in all types of fowl with or without pullies in the middle. Can also be used as a weapon! $10 each.
Safes - They're heavy and they're dangerous. Safes! What more can be said? $200 each.
Scrolls - Scrolls have magic spells on them. See your local Animator for details.
Shoes - See "Clothes"
Shotgun - See "Guns"
Skateboards - See "Vehicles"
Slingshots - See "Guns"
Slime - Icky and gooey, our slime does the same as our oil, but doesn't come in motor varieties. $10 per gallon.
Sneezing Powder - See "Pranks"
Signs - We have a variety of pre-made signs for your mis-use. We also sell our reusable Blank Signs for only $30 each, just perfect for "Help!", "Don't look down" and "Eat at Joe's".
Sledgehammer - See "Weapons" or "Music Videos".
Springs - We harvets only the ripest springs right after winter. Attach them to anything and they'll bring the world of the future to your today! $5 small, $10 large, $100 Super Sized.
Steamrollers - See "Vehicles"
Starship - See "Vehicles"
Stupid Questions - See "Questions", stupid
Swords - See "Weapons"
Telephone - Call anywhere on your own personal telephone (corded and wireless both available). $100
Toilet Plungers - Perfect for shooting with a bow or just smacking people around. We have both used and new plungers for your picking. $10 each.
Trampolines - Bounce higher, live longer. $50 for small, $100 for large (bigger available upon request)
Traps - See Traps 101. Coming soon.
Two-Headed Coin - See "Pranks"
Umbrellas - Just think, you could float safely to the ground with one of these! No more fear of heights for you! $20 and works at least half the time!
Vehicles - Vehicles range in price, but all of them let you use Operate Vehicle to substitute that Vehicle's Speed with your own (great for races). They tend to all fit in these categories: Personal (rollarskates, pogosticks, etc) $50 Speed = ZIP+1; Small (mopeds, motorcycles, etc.) $200 Speed = 5; Medium (most cars) $2000 Speed = 8, Large (airplanes and jets, trains and super rocket cars) $10,000 Speed = 7+. Special "Vehicles" can be found, such as those of the Rocket variety (Rocket Rollarskates, Rocket Unicycles, Rocket Packs, etc.), those found in different genres (Car-Toon Wars, MekToon, Star Toon, etc.), and other silly such vehicles (The Animator's own designs).
Velcro - A great invention by ... uh... Mr. Velcro himself! $10.
Wands - Who knows what you can do with one of these! Wave it around and say the magic word and find out! Some wands will actually have spells or shticks in them. Some will have limited uses, others will be able to be used indefinatly! And best of all, less than 75% of them are Shoddy! Get yours today from your Animator. Prices vary.
Water - Just $1 for a bucket of water (if anything, you get a bucket free!). Instant water is also available (just add water) for only $5 per jar of powder.
Weapons - Come in any type you can think of, Sword, Spear, Brass Knuckles, Mallets, Baseball Bats, Frying Pans, Rubber Chickens, Hammers, Mallets, Sledgehammers, Pocketknives, 2x4's: all add +1 to your Fight Damage and cost $100. Especially large or nasty weapons may do more damage, but are regulated by your Animator as to damage and price... especially price!
Whistle - Let yourself be heard! Guarenteed to alert the nearest policeman... unless of course you have one of our Foogle Bird Call Whistles, in which case you might want to Hide. $50, all types!
X-Ray Glasses - These really work! Put these on and the X-Rays emitted by these glasses are sure to blind you and cause serious radiation poisoning! But at least you'll be able to see through anything you want...maybe! $100 per pair.
Yo-yo's - A great toy, a deadly weapon. $10
Zippers - We don't know what you can do with this, but it started with Z and we just had to include it with all our zombies, zyzzyvas and zylafones! $1 for a small zipper, more for larger ones. Why you might want a 10-foot zipper is none of our business!