To Dr Nick Ingold (I'm aware that our lanky bass player is also known as the good doctor, and am aware of the probable confusion)....the position of manager in charge of scamming shit and recording...for his particularly reeking of effort entry below
And to Nicole Ward...the position of manager in charge of getting us gigs, particularly with the dollar and any other good bands, because of the connections she has which we will now be milking. as evidenced below Nick's monstrosity of an entry
Also a special mention to our original manager feeno, who informed us that he will remain manager in charge of laziness...the best one we've ever had.
To Too Tired To Riot,
Hi!
My name is Nick and I like stuff.
I too would like to become a member of the too-riffic band Too Tired To Riot.
I write this letter to apply for the position of manager.
My experience includes working for The Company, as your drummer does (occasionally). I have on a number of occasions scammed the company for various home entertainment, electrical and confectionary at very heavily discounted prices. I also have the ability to bullshit profusely to achieve the above items at discounted prices.
I'm into my fourteenth year of study ? this shows my dedication ? believe me it takes great stamina to be committed to your studies for this amount of time. I am fluent in several languages ? mainly ?bad'. In all honesty I am not bachelor of anything.
What Can I Contribute To The Band?
I have half a shitload of Mars Bars, Cherry Ripes etc which were scammed, a small throw rug and a porcelain tea cup. These items should all be of advantage to you.
I have various people connections which enable myself to attain all kinds of stuff for bands ? most importantly at a very affordable (if any) price.
I also have high quality, high capacity gear which could be used by the band. Not only can I manage, but I can mix as well!
I have a very close friend who personally knows the infamous Griffo (this person shall remain nameless as Sarah did not want her name to be mentioned so as not to receive further interrogation) ? connections to such great people, like Griffo, immortalised in song, need to be taken advantage of.
I am a great creator of mobile phone picture messages as already demonstrated.
My interests include music (for sure), scamming works well for me and anything else you think I should have put.
The fame and success of your band is phenomenal and one which is widely recognised by a lot of great people and organisations. I believe that with my help your band can be taken to new levels never before reached by other bands of the same kind. Together we will strive to reach TTTR's full potential ? perhaps even one of these pictured below.
?NICK? (aka Doctor)
I should be TTTR's manager cos I'll use my charm and contacts
to get cool bands like ODS and Irrelevant to play at your concerts
(hey, someone has to actually sing at these things!)
Nicole W
