people sat patiently in the pews
dressed in dark suits and black dresses
hair slicked down
shoes shined
and though just about everyone cared somewhat
or they wouldn’t have come at all,
no one cared like she did,
walking in a fog as she was,
alone in her shattered world
where nothing else mattered anymore.
Some talked quietly in low murmurs
telling little jokes
discussing what they would do when they got home after the services.
Many calculated that they need not attend the second services at graveside,
having done enough by making an appearance here.
Everyone fell silent when she appeared in the doorway.
When she was escorted in, she was clutching a teddy bear
and looked a little bit like she wasn’t aware of what was happening around her.
A man in a white robe said some words about the boy
and then for no apparent reason
began speaking at length of Jews and Romans
and some trouble that had taken place a long time ago.
I couldn’t figure out what his story had to do with the dead boy
nor how it would help lessen her grief.
He said repeatedly that we were there to celebrate the young man’s life
but I didn’t see any celebration.
All I saw was an ashen woman stumbling stricken from the church
holding a teddy bear to her chest
like she wanted never to let go.