Dec 6 03
Dear Diary,
Today was a really cold day with the wind out during our morning run.I attempted to get out of the freezing cold by sticking my tongue on an icle but unfortunatly it didnt stay put long enough for me to have to get pryed off.I didnt do alot in workout today as I still have the all-around and the event finals still to come and I dont want to tire myslef out.Well as you know Coach Lois and the rest of the staff arent coming back as Coach Lois is taking some team off to help in the upcoming Olympic Effort for the United States team and the rest all were working at jobs when topo was closed and they cant just leave them now but I know there all going to be back.I just know it...well I dont know for a fact but Im hoping that things will be the same.Im going to read this book I got in the mail yesterday!!!!
Love,
ATler :)
Dec 6 03
Dear Diary,
You will never guess in a million years what Im about to tell you about the meet yesterday.Ok I wouldnt leave you in suspense any longer because I might as well just yell and scream with glee about how I did.I got a 9.95 on BEAM.I never would have thought I would see the day when I would get that on beam of all things.I know I have been having tremoundous amounts of consisenty on that event but I really doubted that I could score that high even if I hit my best routine ever so the first thing I did after my routine was call Coach Lois and then COach Terrin and I think they both had a heartache lol.I also got a 9.85 on bars and a 9.6 on floor and a 9.4875 on vault.Guess how I got why I got the score I did on beam?I didnt completly stick my dismount but I did on bars.Vault I took a couple steps so I wasnt all that happen with this event but floor I think thats the score I deserve as it hasnt been up to par lately and I think I have to start focusing more on that.My all-aroun!
d score was 38.8875 and I dont know yet what number I came in for prelims but I will get back to you on that.I called Chris and peeps tonight but no one was home. I yearn to know what there doing and I dont want to think that there having a good time without me because even though Im having a good time here Im home on a Saturday evening and there not lol.
Im going to call Vada and tell her to come home to topo
Love,
ATler :)
Dec 5 03
Dear diary,
Its meet day and theres alot to do so this is going to be really brief.My goals are the usually four for four,to make the all-around(hopely medal)but this time to make the event finals in bars and beam not bars and floor though I wont mind floor either.I just want to make an event final or to to reassure myslef that Im a contender and that allows you for one more chance to compete your routines.I had a great morning workout only doing a few routines each and then had an interview afterwards as part of pre-meet media coverage.I have to go ice my knee and get in the zone lol whatever that means lol.
Wish Me Luck
Love,
ATler :)
Dec 4 03
Dear Diary,
Im sitting around doing some SAT work but all I can think about is whats to come tomorrow in the meet. I really want to do good like everyone else does and I finally what my hard work to pay off but recently it hasnt even come close to what the coaches think Im capable and its furturating for them to see my talent wasted while I dont think Im talented and they pin that as my downfall. I dont want to think about if Im"talented" or not I just want to focus on how hard Im working and if that is happening then eventually that will fall into place.Im hoping it will quite soon. I took the November SATs but Im waiting for the results as I took a course over the summer to hopefully improve it. THe december ones are this saturday but sinces the school is far away brian is coming here(my tutor Brian)and is giving me the test to take.I think some of the other girls are taking it as well.
Im going to go take some pain medicane and then probably going to hit the hay early.
Love,
Atler :)
Dec 3 #2
Dear diary,
I forgot to write about practice earlier so I just wanted to write again to tell you about it.I'll go event by event to show you how I am feeling at this point about my routines.Beam-I need to start sticking my dismounts(the 2 1/2 twist)as thats the one area where I could recieve deductions at the meet.Im landing them fine but its not enough I need to stick them all.It furturates me when the rest of the routine goes perfectly and then when I get to the dismount I cant for the life of me stick it. I dont get it twisting is about one of the easiest part of gymnastics and I have control in the air.Can someone please tell me why I cant stick them when I do a double front off bars and I dislike doing tucks yet I still nailed those.I loved doing floor today after all the rest as you dont technically have to completely stick your tumbling passes all the way. For bars I did routines using both the thachev and the comanci as coach isnt sure what Im going to use in the meet on friday.!
.the one that is most consisnent now is the thachev but there is nothing wrong with the comanci either.Oh well Im going to go call chris and my parents.
Love,
atler :)
oh ps.my cousin nessa is on the cover of IG!!!!
Dec 3 03
Dear diary,
Its funny how quickly physical pain can go away but emotional pain lingers longer and hurts more and its harder to get rid of.On that note I woke up to a perfectly pain-free knee and ankle because usually its throbbing even prior to workout and when I got through workout number two and it still wasn't hurting I felt really relieved cause the next bit of news that came next would have been dampered by an injury.I got selected along with (Senior Team)-
Jessica Atler -thats me lol
Alexa Curtis
Marina Melinskova
Krista Carr
Juniors-
Ling Lan
Lydia Carlington to compete in the first meet together at a meet called the Night of Stars Invitational at Pacific Gym Stars in mixed teams.Im really looking forward to competing as I am confident that I will do good as everything is usually dead on in practice and Im doing the best I have ever done but anything can happen in a meet situation as I can attest to that in the past.I am however not going to put alot of emphasis on how I place just yet as this is my first meet out since coming back to topo and I just want to show that I've been working hard and that I am someone to watch for yet again like it was like in the past.I always want things to be like they used to be but in this case Im glad to be in the shape Im in at this point in time in my life. At this point in times my routines are the only thing I have controll over and the only thing I feel really solid at. Today was just filled with good news as the rankings were as follows as of December 3
1- Jessica Atler
2- Alexa Curtis
3- Ling Lan
4t- Lydia Carlington
4t- Marina Melinskova
6t- Krista Carr
6t- Jenna Riordan
8- Lindsey Matthews
9- Morgan Rducan
10- Madison Whitney
11- Marissa Wilson
nov 25 03
Dear diary,
I am now a member of the lilly squad along with Krista Carr, Marina Melinskova, Jenna Riordan, and Madison Whitney (So Formal lol I cant remember when I last called them by their full names)similar to what is was like before and the Pop Squad is Ling Lan, Lindsey Matthews, Morgan Raducan, Marissa Wilson, Emily Yim. You know how I was so excited to go home for Thanksgiving, now that couldn't be so far from the truth.I want to remain at topo and stay away from all my problems that are going to occur when I get home.I messed up and soon Im going to confront the consequences that are going to come from it.My workout is definatly getting affected by this as yet again I did not get any sleep and dragged through practice.Some how I was able to get through but I won't have without the support of my great teammates.Last night Chris called me and we got into this huge fight about last saturday party and now hes threatening to break up with me over something I couldn't control,I know what I did wrong but I cant do anything to change it now.I spent almost the whole night crying until Krista heard me and took me into her and rissa's room for a chat though rissa was sleeping but I still didnt follow asleep till like four or so.!
WE're going to Manhatten for thanksgiving dinner cause thats where my aunt lives which is nice and convient cause Im flying to JFK.We will probably go to the parade and then on friday go shopping but its usually a zoo there. Im going to the watch this thing about the American Idols with the girls.
Love,
Atler :)
nov 24 03 #2
Dear diary,
Monday mornings are bruetal when you didnt get any sleep this weekend like I didnt.I barely made it in time for 6:00 am practice and only did because Krista came in and dragged me to practice.Practice wasnt that bad but I immediatly took a two hour nap forgoing breakfast.When I finally did wake up I grabbed yogurt and headed to physical therapy even though nothing is currently broken I need to make all the precautions to ensure nothing does.I am going home for thanksgiving on friday though Im not sure what day we have to be home cause I'm not sure who else is leaving.I know I just left my parents not even a week ago but I need to go home and clear some things up with my friends and hopefully I wont be so stressed when I come back so that I can focus more on everyone here and what they have been up to and what their goals are.The Giants are on the same time as everwood so Im going to tape the game and watch everwood cause the giants game probably wont finish till like 12 and thats way too late for me to be staying up when practice always comes way too soon.
Love,
Atler :)
Nov 24 03
Dear diary,
Tonight is the sleepover in the rec room and I think Grandma Benni has a surprise for us.I wonder what it is. Chris sent me this long text message when we were out to dinner yesterday and it almost made me cry it was so cute but I dont want to get into all that nonsense cause its just going to get me homesick and make me cry.Workout was pretty good routine wise but I kept making alot of stupid mistakes and It came on the easiest thing for me which is my bars mount, cant wait till I get to the Gurova mount and start messing up there.Tomorrow is my friend Ali's b-day and they all went out to dinner and called me.I can't stop feeling homesick today but I know the sleepover is going to make me feel better.My Mom and Dad also called to ask for my Christmas list but all I want for christmas is to go home but who knows what our vacation time is like.Matt sent me Finding Nemo so we're probably going to watch that tonight.I meet with my tutors today and they gave me a bunch of work that needs
to get done even before thanksgiving break so parts of my days will be spent doing that in between workouts.Im going to take a shower Im all sweaty from practice.
Love,
ATler
Nov 23 03
Dear diary,
Today was a pretty hectic sunday and though it started a little later time wise then the average weekday I didnt want to get out of bed when seven o clock came around.The sleep didnt come in the sleepover till almost five in the mourning and lets just say workout wasnt at its peak.I spent alot of the day with rissa and em and krista in my room A1 watching the bacholor marathon all day long talking about what we all have been up to since topo closed.After a while it was just rissa and I so we started talking about the usual ish and then it suddenly turned into a boy dish cause some from home kept on text messaging me so we got into a rather intense convo that left me rather emotional. then all of a sudden guess who showed up at my door??Brian and he ran up and gave me a nice big kiss.I rolled my eyes cause he knows I have a boyfriend or at least I thought he knew.He can be a creep sometimes and try to act like a player but my lips were so lonely it slipped again.Im not cheating on chris Brian and I are just friends.I have school with my tutors tomorrow but I wish I was going to my school back at home.
Love,
Atler :)
Nov 21 03
Dear diary,
TGIF aka Thank God it's friday even though training still continues throughout the weekend and I didn't have school Im just so happy its friday.Lol.Tomorrow night is the sleepover in the rec room but really we have been sleeping in there for the past couple of nights anyways except for one cause we just all want to be together.The eight of us have done everything together which is nice because normally there are so many people that I can go days and weeks without seeing people for more then ten minutes at a time.My double tsuks were disterous today and I got really pissed off at them that once again I went back to my old ways and cried and threw a tantrum but everyones used to it so I went right back to doing them. I stayed for 45 minutes after practice and worked them so more but only a little improvement was mad.I think we're all going out to dinner in town tonight which should be good.I think Im going to call chris just to see how basketball is going and see who made the cheer team...........Just got a text message from Sarah so Im going to go.
Love,
Atler :)
Nov 20 03
Dear diary,
I got first in the Rankings today even though there is only eight people training in the gym and it was only from the first two days of training.as of November 19 the rankings are:
1- Jessica Atler
2- Marissa Wilson
3- Jenna Riordan
4- Ling Lan
5- Emily Yim
6- Morgan Raducan
7(t)- Lindsey Matthews
7(t)- Marina Melinskova
I'm still really proud of how I have been doing and hope that being happy with my gymnastics performances continue because in the past I have always been to harsh on myslef.I do know that I have been too easy on myslef these past couple of days in terms of how I am evaulating my skills but I think its just been the excitement of being here and doing better then I have in a really long time.I spoke too soon as I got really upset about my ability to twist today in both my dismount off beam and my floor tumbling as normally twists are my strong points.It turns out Coach Lois is going to take a hiatus from coaching and I think the owners are bringing in a whole new staff but thats just what I heard.I dont know if things will be the same here if thats what occurs.All eight of us eat dinner together which was wonderful as very rarely are all of us at the same place at the same time but with school starting after Thanksgiving break this will probably be one of the last.Im going to my room to watch will and grace then probably to bed.
Love,
Atler :)
nov 19,2003
Dear diary,
I had a wonderful practice yet again and Im just wondering when Im going to wake up from this dream and start having inconsisent practices where I wont know what will happen from day to day.you know what typically happens.LOL.I hung out with krista and rissa alot today and waiting impatiently for the arrival of VAda.I called her today and shes not really sure when she's coming.I took alot of pictures today and since no one has started school yet everyone dressed up and we had a fashion show.Grandma Benni taped workout it so Im going to send it home to show everyone how hard us elite gymnasts work.Lol.I got my report card from home and I got a 98.67 and Im really surprised about that because I neglected to do alot of work that first marking period.I cant wait to show coach min and brian the brain it on saturday!!!Acting classes start again and I cant wait but Im going to have them during practice times but Im just going to have to work around it.My Bars and beam felt amazing and I think right now these are my most consisent routines.Who would have thought beam would be but Im kind of enjoying it.
Im going to go talk to Morgie.
LOve,
ATler :)
Nov 18,2003
Dear Diary,
Day Two was just as good if not better then the first though the drama and homesickness continues I'm just glad to be here and be away from it all.I had a quick meeting with Coach Lois saying that my tutors are coming this weekend to discuss my workload but you know I couldn't just let the topic come up without implying that I should be going to school.Brian is already calling me to do something so maybe I will do something with him through Chris will probably accuse me of cheating on him.Im not going to let my everythought be about him as I also miss my friends tremoundously.Practice was just incredible as I spent alot of the time with Coach Lois and because Im performing rather well we didnt get into too many fights.She was telling me how happy she is for me that I'm doing so well with my routines and that I seem happy and even discussed working on more original routines on the side because I can do these as she qoutes"As easily as Tasha's Floor and beam routine,Rock Solid" so Im ready to be challenged.My triple was alot better today as I feel really light in the air.I can tell that Im lighter and that even though its easier to go higher my form is not being sacrified.The weekend crew is already planining stuff do to but without Eva is going to be hard to find someone to organize a pizza party.I suggust a simple sleepover just to catch up.
Im really tired but Im going to go talk to rissa then head to bed.
Love,
Atler :)
nov 17,2003
Dear diary,
Its ten o clock and my first day at topo is complete.After today I definatly look forward to what's to come and I know from experience that all my days here won't be as good as today but I know Im willing to stay and endure the bad ones too.I arrived here at 4 in the morning and since workout started at 6 I did what all good teammates do, I woke everyone up.Last night was really difficult for me because it was my last night at home and it didn't end in a fairy tale.While I went to the movies my other friends and family were preparing me a surprise party so that when I walked in thats what I saw.I burst into tears when I saw everyone because I knew that this time it will be the hardest for me to leave but other then that the party was fun.Everyone left the party and it was getting quite late but Chris stayed behind and helped me clean up but I was in the kitchen cleaning the dishes when he came in and asked me to come out in the living room not knowing that I was tearing up just thinking about the fact of leaving him. AS soon as I got into the living room I started bailing and I couldnt stop.of course all he wanted to do is makeout like a guy in my moment of sorrow so we said our "Goodbyes"and I called up will even though it was 12 at night and I had to go to the airport in an hour so he drove with us and we talked the whole way.I love having him as my best friend and Im the luckiest person in the world cause I have him.Well I didn't get any sleep on the plane but its ok because I was riding high on adreline during practice and everything went great.Coach Lois was really impressed with the type of shape I was in and how my routines presented me little problems and Im really pumped for the first meet.The two owners are really nice but there names are really hard to pronouce Amaya seems alot more laid back while Ailina is really sweet.Oh I can't tell you how good it feels to be back especially since I missed all the girls and all the coaches are back and I can escape at least temperary from what Im missing at home.Im staying in room A1 my normal room with Emily,Krista and RISSA :) so Im going to have to leave you now.
Love,
ATLER :)
ps.Bars was awesome today as well as the rest of my routines.
Nov 16 03
Dear Diary,
Oh boy last night was off the hook in terms of the amount of fun I had but Im paying for it this morning.I woke up really late compared to my normal time at 1 o clock and my head is pounding and it still hurts.Krista called me earlier this morning and left like a thousand messages telling me to get my lazy bum up so I finally had to oblige.Back to Yesterday after the game we went out to breakfast where I spent the whole time arguing on the phone with chris and deciced I wasnt going to answer the millionth calls he made.So I went home and got ready with the girls and we went to a house party!I think I had a little too much if you get my drift but hey it was really fun for the most part until I think I did something that I will regret--no elaboration there.ok its just a kiss but you tell chris that. It didnt mean anything and Im sorry I was just not with it.
I gotta go start my homework so that I can go see Radio with some peeps later.
Love,
Atler :)
Im going to topo...........:)
nov 15 03
Dear diary,
Today started out a little earlier then a normal saturday would as I had practice from 7-11 then went to the stadium to take on the senior girls in the powder puff football game.The junior girls lost but I was awarded the MVP because I scored two touchdowns.After that the whole team went out to a late brunch but I spent alot of the time arguing with chris cause he wanted to spend time with me but I got mad because he automatically assumed we were doing something before he even asked.I dont want to break up with him even though Im leaving but I don't see how it will work out being apart.I dont think the smartest thing to do is taking anything away from my training....at least right away.Tonight is the party so Im going to take a little nap.
Love,
ATler :)
nov 14,2003
Dear diary,
Im so glad its finally friday and that tomorrow is the junior class versus senior class girl power puff football game.All the guys are dressing up as cheerleaders and I heard something about a little dance number so I dont know whats going down.After is some party that I'm without a doubt going to because who knows how many of these parties Im going to have left.I have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn though in order to get in a few hours of training.Coach Lois was totally against the game when I mentioned it to her but of course Im going to play anyway.I got a call from Brian(the one from Indiana)and he was totally hypered about me coming home.I didnt tell him about Chris and I dont think Im going to cause its not like Brian and I are dating.I feel like a part of me has already at topo already and that a certain part of me here can never go to topo because if it does I wont be there long.People are going to notice alot of changes in me but I still hope they accept me for who I have grown into.I can't wait to show all the new skills I have acquired since the closing.Im going to go my powerpuff teammates house so we can get pumped for the game tomorrow.If I get brought out in the strengher tomorrow send Coach Lois my regrets.
Love,
ATler :)
nov 13,03
Dear diary,
As each hour goes by I get increasly more excited about walking into the doors of topo once again.Well I hope I don't walk directly into the doors because that would kind of hurt, plus I know I have entered those doors a thousand times before but I know that this time its going to be different.Every time I go back to topo they find a way to reinvent themselves and change is evident.With a new owner thats bound to happen as well this time but I hope that when we get there wont be too much change that would make topo seem unfamilar.Coach Lois hired a new lady I believe so that she can focus more on coaching instead of dealing with the whole buisiness aspect.As excited as I am, contary to popular belief I can wait for it to open.I am loving living the life of a"Normal Teenager" and I dont want it to end just yet. I know that when I get back to topo I will be leaving all the things that make me feel like a fifteen year old behind and I dont think Im ready.I told my friends at sc!
hool today and they were really upset just as the cheerleading team and my gymnastics team was.They all knew coming into it that I would be leaving but I guess they just grew accustume to having me around and to be honestI didnt think I would be going back to topo.I dont want to talk about topo anymore because at this point in time Im perplexed as to whats to come tonight tomorrow or next week.The members signed up are Jennifer Riordan
Emily Yim
Marina Melinskova
Jessica Atler
Morgan Raducan
Krista Carr
Ling Lan
Ella Anderson
Samantha DeBrinski
Jennie will be coming back but not as of yet.
I really am upset because I wont be able to try out for cheerleading basketball because Im not sure when topo is going to open.
I dont want to leave will and everyone and especially not the you know whose?Lol.
School was horrible all day because I had to tell everyone I was leaving so I was really happy when the sports banquet was cancelled for tonight because it was snowing because its hard to image what their going to say about me leaving.
Gym was hard tonight as well cause I knew my days were limited with my teammates.I want to room with Vada,Eva,Jennie or krista but I dont think Eva and Jennie are coming back just yet so who knows. Yearbook was also really exciting today because we got back some of the pages that we sent to the editors and they turned out great.The only problem is that all the pages have the same people over and over and though Im on almost every page I definatly didnt plan on that happening.I made sure on all my pages to do it on other groups that werent my own.I have to go ice my knee and my darn old back because I dont want to go back to topo with any injuries!!!!
Love,
Atler :)
Jan 23,2003
Dear diary,
I dont know why I do gymnastics on days like these.All
the
coaches in the gym didnt even want to coach me because Im so
awful.Coach
Mike had to rescue me and helped me in a private on vault since no one
else
would.I now fear vault and I really dont have a validated reason.WE
started
on vault warming up both our competitive vaults.Most people started
with
their good comfortable vaults but Coach Lois wanted to get me going and
ordered me to do the double twisting tsuk which I loathe to the
fullest.On
my first attempt I hit my neck on the horse and afer that I didnt want
to
try again yet I must obey the coach and do it again so I did.It was so
horrible that I only got to tsuk fulls and I did those at age 8 or
something.Everyone in the gym was looking at me and I heard ashley say
"I
thought she was sopposed to be good".I laughed at that because I
thought I
was too.I can hold my own usually in practice on vault and its never a
problem but since coming back home to topo the tsuk has been off and
now
today with the yerchenko.
Im not going to talk about gym anymore because Im a
happy
person and have no reason to be down in the dumps.I had a test in
anatomy
today but I didnt really feel prepared so Im expecting the worse on
that as
well.So much for not being happy that put me in a really bad mood.I
doubt
Camer will call two nights in a row.The mood around here is also kind
of
somber since Jennies parents just got a divorce and everyone else has
alot
on their minds too.These past couple of days there has been no talk of
parties and laughter.I got yelled at some much today that I forgot what
a
joke sounds like.Im going to find Vada since she always makes me happy
and
we can always talk to each other about everything and anything.
Love,
ATler :)
jan 22,2003
Dear diary,
Days like this one are driving me crazy.You know the
ones
that are neither good or bad.The days where you dont know whenever to
burst into tears or laughing until you're rolling on the floor.I did
both
today actually.I was rolling on the floor when Cam called today. Kelly
and I
were talking about how much we missed her and then lo and behold the
phone
rang.After a tough mourning pratice all you need is a camer to call and
make
it all better.I cant sum up just what wrong in practice but of course
the
name Higgens Roll comes to mind and because of this element I almost
got
kicked out of the gym today.If you saw me you would be able to see just
how
hard I was trying but I think Coach Dan and Coach Nick saw right
through
that and it was Coach Soyon for comfort.Im trying so hard to retain
this
element but something is not connecting like it did before.Sammie hurt
her
back and is going home.It was a hard day at tutoring because I had a
test in
english where we had to write an essay and tomorrow is Anatomy so Im
off to
finsh my flashcards once more before AMerican Idol.I love that show.
love,
Atler :)
Jan 20,2003
Dear diary,
Happy Martin luther king day everyone.I woke up early
just to
hear his speech on the radio though everyone was sleeping Grandma Benni
was
up.The reason that most people were sleeping is that they had the day
off
from school and were allowed to sleep in since workout was later
today.I
still dont know if I should turn senior or stay a junior.I had a long
talk
with Eva who thinks with my work ethic and experience that it would be
better for me to turn senior.Im leaning towards that but since Coach
Lois
hasnt had the meeting Im waiting to make sure.I worked on my double
layout
today with Coach Nick and it feels so great to be doing something other
than
routines which dont suit me and I dont like.Its been a while since I
have
had time to myslef with coach nick and it was just like old times
again.Im
also getting along well with Coach Dan and it turns out Im like the
only
one.Jennie and I hung out today as well.Mostly we just sat around doing
our
homework which came in abundance over this three day weekend.Too bad
homeschooling doesnt get snowdays.Lol.Im a little nervous about
practice
tomorrow since now a days I dont know what is going to happen from
workout
to workout event to event.I like living life without knowing whats
going to
happen yet when you live a structured life day in and day out doing the
same
thing mini factors can change that.I hope Im not foreshadowing anything
awful.I feel my legs are tensing up again and I pray to GOd that Im not
getting that thing I had a while back when the Big O trials were coming
up.
Love,
Atler :)
January 19
Dear diary,
I dont think I should ever compete again after such a
horrible showing.I know I failed yet again and I dont think a third
time is
a charm.I dont even think I should try anymore because its chalked up
to be
a hopeless cause.Me doing well is something in the past.I am really too
embrassed to tell what I got in the meet so Im going to move on to
other
manners.Sammie and I were talking and it turns out we have the same
birthday
though Im a year older.Maddie left due to a conflict that wasnt getting
any
better.Sarah and I also talked today and it turns out were in kind of
the
same boat with competing and stuff and it makes it alittle easier on
both of
us knowing were not the only ones.I went for a ride with Jennie and
Sarah
and we went over to Jennies friend lizzies house.I love lizzies mom she
is
so nice.I competed in the senior devision and ended up 20st out of 29
and I
walked out which shame after I was finished.My scores were this and
after I
say them Im forbiddening myslef not to discuss the meet again:9.125
9.300
8.650 9.450 36.525 .Sarah,Jennie and Eva finshed one through three.I
let my
intersquad results control how horrible I did in workout.Instead of
turning
my anger into postive energy I let it get the best of me and fell all
over
the place.I didnt eat to much today,I guess Im punishing myslef.I can
be so
stupid sometimes that I dont even want to be me.That makes no sense I
know
but Im not thinking right.Im going to return my parents call and than
go to
bed even though its only 8:00.
Love,
Atler :)
January 18
Dear diary,
There is alot to discuss with you but so little time to
do it
in so if I forget something today tomorrows going to have an even
longer
entry.Ok first things first is to address the meet mood going into the
meet
today.My confidence is a lot higher due to the unexpected first place
in the
rankings.My confidence can also not help going higher out of fear
because
Coach Dan scared me into being confident.I have been in first place
many
many times but I forgot just how good it feels.I hope I dont sound
cockey or
get a big head or anything but I dont feel satisfied unless Im in the
top
spot.Through like so many times in the past I dont enjoy it yet again
since
I always think I can do better.That character trait is one of mine that
I
long to change but when my life is moving forward all I want to do is
cross
the finsh line sometimes.I dont know if Im making sense.I dont know how
we
factored in with the other teams so Im not going to talk about the meet
last
night.I could get luckey though.I also want to note that Jennie is
number
two and ash is #3.Im happy for Jen but really proud of ash since she
sees
been really nervous about working among all these great athletes.I also
have
to write about the new age law which states that if you turn 15 by the
"Big
O"year(which is next year)you can compete as a senior.I can choose now
to
compete junior or seniors and I dont know what to do about that.Im
going to
talk to coach Lois about that.........I dont want to rush things but I
already competed against most of the seniors anyways.I made another
team
today.The A-first- team which includes Marina,miller,vada,Jenna and
whitney and the alternate is Eva.The second team is Team Two, coach
Michael,
Cardiff, Jarvis, Liukin, Phillips, Ray, Williams
Alternate: Yim. The meet is the bridgeview classic.
Talk to you later
Love,
Atler :)
January 17
Dear diary,
I am on my way to the texas invitional and not really in
a
sociable mood so I deciced I would talk to you journal , to be able to
reflect on what a horrible workout I had today.I do think horrible is
an
understatement for the gymnastics I displayed today.I had a pretty bad
one
last night so of course I was hesitiate approaching this workout at
full
speed after the mixed performance I had last night.I wasnt confident
and my
skills suffered thats what Coach Dan said.He also said if I performed
like
that at the meet I would be kicked out.Im alot better than that and I
need
to show it.My higgens roll to double front on bars was going back to
its
funky ways and I landed on my butt 70% thats not good out of 100%.I
hate to
admit this but Im afraid to fail I didnt think after coming back to
topo I
would have these problems again but its true in fact its getting worse
everyday.Beam was the best event I did today as something didnt click
on
vault.I was opening up too soon and had to take hops on the majority of
them.Floor was decent but nothing to cheer about.I hope it was just an
off
practice and I hope that I can forget about it when I perform and start
all
over.
ATler :)
January 16
Dear diary,
Something is off with me today and I cant put my hand on
it.I
woke up really early in hopes of getting too do a little extra
conditioning
with EVa which I did.Than I eat a light breakfast and talked to Coach
Dan
during it.I made sure after talking to him I was to practice on time
since
hes seems to enjoy my gymnastics.I got to practice early and I was
sitting
around reading my history while in my splits and Coach Dan came in and
gave
me a nice pep talk for the meet tomorrow.I also had a nice talk with
Jennie
since she also came to the gym early.I told her whats going on with her
b-day present part of it is in the mail because the shipping got all
messed
up.I cant loathe the popa back tuck combo since I resemble one of
dominiques
rubber duckies.Training didnt go as well as I would like either but I
do
feel confident with my routines and I hope I can translate that
tomorrow at
the invitional.Jennie got a late b-day gift with a third place in the
rankings while Im a disappointing but relieved second and Eva is
first.I
worked alittle bit on the website that the lilly squad is making but I
had
to study for a math exam Im taking soon.I developed a headache during
tutoring that wont go away so I stopped early so that I could rest
before
the people going to the invitional had our workout.Coach Lois and Coach
Dan
worked with us mostly while Coach Nick coached the remaining members of
his
squad while switching back and forth between our two groups.All three
of
them are going to this invitional with us.I hope that we have fun and
are
able to hit since there were alot of falls today in workout.Im going to
go
to bed now since I feel kind of funky and I want to be able to get out
of
bed for the meet tomororw.
ATLer :)
January 15
Dear diary,
I had a wonderful day that I had to hit my head on the
wall
in order to see if I was dreaming.I wasnt and now I have a bump on my
head.Even though I have been doing well in the gym nothing ever
satisfies me
but lately I have been finding myslef trying to encourage myslef more
due to
the fact that I have a wonderful coach Soyon who believes in that
method.
Qualifiers for the Texas Invitional were annouced today and amoung them
were
Atler, Cardiff, Coolmen, DeBrinski, Liukin, Maddux, Raducan, Ray,
Torrence,
Volatil, Williams, Wilson, Yim .Its going to be tough beating those
girls
from texas since they have been together as a team alot longer than
some of
the people on this team has which is a mixed of new comers and the old
timers.I believe we are really talented but were going to have alot to
get
over with before we beat them.Its Jennies b-day today but Im not going
to
read what I got her until I give it to her since she tends to read my
diary
alot.I had a private working on dance because it pretty much sucked in
workout.I love em she made me happy today as well.I dont know what
events Im
doing at the invitional but I would want to do all-around to get back
into
my normal meet mentality but if not I would rather do the events Im
performing badly on which is beam and floor.I want to do those routines
since I want to get used to this kind of meet senerio and to get more
experience and numbers under my belt.The meet is tomorrow which is kind
of
good since I didnt have alot of time to worry about it.I just want to
hit
all four routines or all the routines I perform.I dont know what spot I
want
in the all-around I just want to hit and do the best job I can for the
team.
Love,
ATLer :)
January 14
Dear diary,
Its a beautiful mourning.Everyone is off to the gym for
mourning workout while I sit here on the mat waiting for my tutors to
come
for school and since I already did all my homework I dont have to work
frantically to get everything done.The team for the invitional against
the
Texas flyer gyms who have gymnasts that are strong all-arounders with
difficult tricks but not as fine tuned artisticly as the gymnasts are
here.I
wonder if Im going to make it if not its ok since there are tons of
other
meets that are coming up.I cant wait till practice today since its been
going great yesterday.I had a pretty good night last night since snack
was
fruit salad.I babysat for benjie last night since the coaches had yet
another meeting.I think they talk about who is miss behavioring or who
needs
to lose weight oh wait they're talking about me the whole time.I love
Coach
Dan though no one else does because hes too tough.I dont know if I
would
mind having him as a coach though I dont know the full extent to his
workouts but they look hard.Coach Lois wanted to have a meeting with me
tomorrow but Im scared about what its about since she seems to be
watching
my every move now. It seems like I have been doing is messing up and
some
times I fail which is human and being a teenager Im just trying to
find out
who I am and its hard to always be told what to do all the time and not
want
to rebel everyone in a while .I think it's challenging for Coach Lois
because though many have been teenagers at their high here few have
dared to
be as outspoken and as carefree as I have minus the rare Cam.I have to
go I
think I hear coach lois talking to minlinda and brian.gotta go
love Atler :)
January 13
Dear diary,
Its just another manic monday,I wish it could be sunday
thats
my fun day.I havent gone to church since I left home in New york.Im off
to
tutoring through everyone is at school by now and its so quiet around
here
that I can hear myslef think.I had a crazy mourning workout getting to
know
more of the coaches methods and trying to adjust to all the new things
that
they make us do.Its werid how I have been here for so long and now that
new
changes occur its like Im learning something right along side the new
people.I had a private today since my darn beam routine is so
inconsisent
and coach Lois wanted me to do more routines.I wasnt going to disobey
for
fear of punishment so I spent almost two hours working routines and boy
are
my muscles sore.I hope Im able to get up for the squad workout.I didnt
get
to work new elements on beam either and I wont until I get this routine
consisent.I think that no matter how long I do this routine something
about
it just doesnt fit. I can do the skills separate but together they
just
dont work right.I did tons of beam routines despite the fact that i was
falling all over the place and nothing was any better.WE havent had a
ranking upday or news on the upcoming meets but we will see about
tonight.Coach Lois is still trying to get the gym in order and has a
million
things to do but I think having the new coaches around will help alot
and
bring her ever raising stress level down.Im going to eat lunch with Ash
and
whoever else is there thats not in school.
Love,
atler :)
January 12
Dear diary,
I had yet another good practice this mourning with Coach
Soyon and avoiding getting in trouble with Coach Lois thus far today is
also
unexpected plus.I got a letter on my bed asking if I wanted to go
sledding
from Kel so of course I was excited about that until I noticed Coach
Dan was
coming with us.Kel told me later than he refused to leave us without
supervision.We only got to go for a mere twenty minutes and when you
were
getting watched at every second it was what you would call fun.Poor
Crystal
Starr is scared stiff of him but when the lilly squad had conditioning
with
him at the end of practice he wasnt so bad.It was alot harder than I
was
used to but I made it through.I also had a private with Coach Mike and
after
that I was free to do what I pleased. I had some english homework so I
did
some of that and than worked for about an hour on some math review
stuff.I
then went to find everyone to see whats up with the LOTR's party which
is in
a few minutes.Im not going to stay the whole time since I have more
work to
do for tomorrow.
Love,
ATler :)
January 11
Dear diary,
I had a wonderful practice last night with the lilly
squad as
a team for the first time.Coach Soyon had some great ideas to get to
know us
better.WE played games that combined showing her some of our gymnastics
talents and getting to know each other better.I also had a private
earlier
this mourning where we sat down and had a little one on one time where
we
set goals then we also went to each event where I should her my current
routines.I felt an instant connection with her and it was werid since I
thought I wouldnt adapt well to her methods of training.I found her
upbeat
attitude and encourging uplifting words compactable to me and I had a
great
practice this mourning amongst that method.I couldn't escape not
getting
yelled at before lunch time which was a goal of mine.I was joking
around
with Coach Nick when Coach Lois passed by and started to tell me to go
to
practice not realizing that my squad didnt practice that early on
saturdays.I didnt know what to say!
.Im not going sking after all today Im just going to stay here and plan
a
hawaii party thats going to be thrown tomorrow with Em.I also hung out
with
a cute member of the Kacie family five year old benjamin who I played
with
during the coaches meeting.Im going to go eat some lunch and than do
some
conditioning with Eva and Sammie.I got a letter from Cam that I know
kel
will want to see so Im going to go find it.
Love,
ATler :)
January 10
Dear diary,
Hey.I woke up a little late this mourning and I had to
rush
around frantically in order to make it to practice on time.I didnt time
to
get to breakfast so I ran all the way to practice.Coach Lois looked at
me
and told me to come back later when everyone was at school since I
missed
half of conditioning and she didnt want to deal with me at the
moment.This
is what I need right now,to have coach lois mad at me is the last thing
I
need right now.There is a slight postive side to this as I was walking
out
the gym doors I am second in the ranking though its no consultation for
what
a horrible workout I have ahead.Jennie got first and I think that is
good
since she was really upset about the intersquad and it will make her
feel
better.Squads were sopposed to be announced today and maybe they
already
have been.Its 7 and they have been practicing for 45 minutes and I and
I was
only 20 minutes late.Im going to go see if Coach Lois wants me back to
practice I hope so.
Wow.I got into practice and it was only like an hour in
and
Coach Lois pulled everyone over for an important meeting.I was talking
to
Coach Nick complaining to him about oversleeping this mourning when
COach
Lois was about to tell us who was on each squad. when she pointed to
some
people that were standing in the entry way.She also gestured to three
other
coaches who we have had at one previous time met with.The first one
Coach
Lois pointed to us was Coach Michael Klacie who wil be coaching for the
opilly squad .The lilly squads coach will now be coached by his wife
Soyon
Kacie.The third coach is Daniel Brink and he will be coaching the tiger
squad while Coach NIck will coach the pop squad.Coach Lois's
explaination
for bringing on more coaches is that she is bogged down with the
buisness
aspect and coaching the top gymnasts for meets that she doesnt have the
time
anymore.I wanted to see whose group I would be in.opilly squad was
called
first and than the lilly squad was called next.I heard
Vada,Eva,Maddie,and I
knew I wanted my name to be next and lo and behold it was.THe other
members
were Marina,Dom, and Jenna.i cant wait for our first practice which
will
begin tomorrow.I wanted to be with Coach Nick but Im willing to try new
things.Im going to talk to you about this tomorrow since Im tired and I
want
to catch a nap in before night practice which I absolutly cant be late
for
since I now have coach Soyon to please now.
Love,
Atler :)
surprises come and they always have to sides to
them,pros and
cons.it will take time to see what kind of surprise it is.
January 9
Dear diary,
Im going to start off with the bad news and than maybe
the
good.I started off the intersquad on vault where my usual dependable
yerchenko 2 1/2 brought me to my knees on the first attempt on than on
the
second I almost flew of the podium area since I hopped twice.I got a
9.275
but with my form that was rather generous since my form was horrible.I
thought to myslef at this point that I had better get my act together
and
not embrasses myslef.Coach Nick came over to me after my vault and
pumped me
up for my bars routine.After I came off vault Coach Lois shooked her
head
and said to be "GEt your head in it"and went back to giving Sammie
corrections.I went to bars and nailed it though not to my liking again
since
I had separation on my jaegar but maneged to stick my dismount for a
9.675.I
wanted to nail beam sO I tried a little to hard and thought about every
little skill on beam and almost fell as a result-9.450 .Floor was awful
with
a 9.275=37.675 .After floor I went over to get my warm-ups on and
watched
kellys awesome floor routine which was totally underscored and watched
some
more routines.There were some highs and alot of lows but I had alot of
fun
despite my poor performances.As we went to change into our warm-ups
Coach
Nick had us all go on the floor for medals.They didnt put us in order
but
the top ten got awards.THey called 10-5 and I got really upset but knew
there would be another intersquads.Kelly got third place and I was
screaming
like crazy that I didnt hear that Elizabeth got second.I didnt watch
alot of
routines when I was still competing so I didnt know how people did
overall.There was a name that I couldnt hear for first until Eva shook
me
and told me to go get my reward.I thought it was just like one who
failed
herslef award and went towards Coach Lois who pointed me to the highest
podium.I won the intersquad.I couldn't believe it but I got the medal
to
prove it.The only problem is Im not satisfied with my perform!
ance and I dont think I deserved to win.It was only the first
intersquad
and people werent at there best so I have to keep working.Im going to
the
sleep now since practice was really tough.Oh after the meet we had a
sleepover and watched Alana's tape of ballet.
Love,
ATler :)
January 7
Dear diary,
Good mourning its 5:00 on the dot.Im still writing 2002
on
every entry that I have written thus far this year since it comes so
naturally.Oh Boy this is the day I have been waiting for since I've
been
back and actually its been the day I have been waiting for since I left
topo
which was a long time ago.Im starting my mourning going to physical
therapy
so that my muscles wont be sore and they can get loose for the game.
Than I will have mourning practice which will be
routines,routines which practice will go to about 8:30 and than we will
hang
out do a mini touch-up than tonight the meet in front of a crowd which
I
obsolutly adore.I really hope I do well but I want to hit my routines
and it
is just one meet.Did I just say that?Its a whole new me.I think Im
going to
wear one of my new leotards that I have never worn before but I dont
want to
without practicing in it to see if I can do all my skills in it.Maybe I
will
wear the olympic trials one since that brought me alot of good energy
but I
know what leotards I wont be wearing, the two national ones as they
arent
exactly luckey charms for me.Memories I dont want to reflect on now
that Im
really happy about the upcoming season in which I hope to become
national
champion.A hopeful notion I know but a girl can dream.Not being
sterotypical
and make a hasty generalization since I dislike it when adults bash
teenagers but I do have dreams that arent about meeting the boy of my
dreams(though that would be nice)or planning what Im going to do this
weekend,Im working towards a dream that thousands of people are working
towards and it takes a good portion of their time to get.I deciced to
wear
the olympic trials for luck.Oh wait I am a teenager Im worried about
what Im
going to wear and how I look.How many more hours?Im driving myslef wild
so
Im going to go get ready and maybe wake EVa up too talk she would
looooooooooove that!
-Im back.My muscles feel great and mourning practice was
so
great that I have to tell myslef to calm down and focus or Im going to
make
a stupid mistake tonight.Its almost lunch time but I have to go do
peoples
hair.I have to start now since Im doing almost the whole gyms.
_Im back again-call me slim shady.Im back Im
back...........I
cant stop jumping up and down and I got yelled at for running around
topo
since I was being a little too loud with sammie,ash and morgie.
Im going to go talk to some people since sitting down
and
watching a movie is not cutting it.
-hey.I think it might be time for me to check to see if
I
have a hyperactive disorder but we will see now since its time for the
last
practice before the meet and I probably wont write back to you tonight.
Love a very happy,apprehensive,hyper
Atler :)
January 6
Dear diary.
Tutoring started today so I was up even before the
birds.Oh
wait its winter and the birds arent here.LOl.Everything was honkie
dorie
this afternoon until Eva and Sam got into a little fight over the new
system
of rankings and training.Im staying out of it like normal but I hate it
when
any of us fight exspecially when its only the first week and already
conflicts are occuring which is completly natural I guess.My head is
spinning of math problems and history questions and essy papers which
means
its time to go do my homework I will write later.
-Im back.Practice was really tense this mourning and
afternoon since everyone was trying to get things perfect for the
intersquad
which is tomorrow.I dont know how Im going to do but Im going to just
try
and go four for four and maybe even medal on bars if I hit to the best
of my
ability.I loved praticing this mourning and nothing went so horrible
where
Im going to stress about tomorrows intersquad yet with gymnastics
anything
can happen.Trust me things arent always going to turn out the way you
expect
they will.One of my goals for this meet is 1)go four for four 2)get top
5 in
the all-around 3)not fall off beam 4)keep my legs tight in the jagear
abd
5)have fun with my teammates in the first meet back.We had a team
meeting
after night practice and we discussed how we were going to make the
new
squads but nothing came to a close on that topic.I cant wait till the
intersquad tomorrow I hope I do good.
Love,
ATler :)
January 5
Dear diary,
The rankings are a little bit werid today and Coach louis said there
probably going to change in a few days but until than Im going to have
this
awful feeling in my stomuch that Im going to want to change.I got 11th
out
of 24 gymnasts.Horrible.I have worked so hard everyday since being back
at
topo not missing a workout and I thought all I would do is move up in
the
rankings.I have worked even harder and longer since the last rankings
and I
slide all the way down from fifth to eleventh.I might be working harder
but
when I look at the rankings and I see my name underneath the 11th spot
I
doubt just how comminted and industrious I am as a person.Regardless my
routines are looking alot better than five days ago and Im hoping to
contend
for some medals at the meet at wednesday's intersquad particularly on
the
bars.We worked alot of basics today which helped me alot on vault,bars
and
beam.My beam routine actually has a thing called consistency going on
that
is really normal for m!
>e.It seemed last season that every other meet I would have the routine
>would get a 9.8 but moreso it would be like a 9.45 so I was kind of a
wild
>card in regards to medaling.It was the same with floor as well but
mostly
>it would turn out on the right side of things with a 9.8.I hope to
have my
>scores be more consisent from meet to meet and though I have been an
>all-around gymnast in the past I have yet to be fully satisfied with
all
>four routines at the same time,in the same meet.After practice during
our
>lunch break I got a wonderful surprise when I came back to my
room.Kelly
>was moving in.I was sad to see Marie go since It was fun having her as
my
>roommate the past two days but I love kelly as well. I have lost 2
pounds
>since I have been here and feel incredible.My goal for this year is to
>become national champion and nothing is going to take that away from
me.NO
>ONE!I have to keep that goal is site always.I really cant wait till
the
>intersquad.Jennie is first with new co!
mer Dominique with Eva in 3rd.4th through tenth is
ash,Em,alyssa,kayla,Sarah,Sammie,and kiki.
Im going to hung out with kelly.WE have alot to catch up on.
Love,
Atler :)
take each day as you find it a chance to start anew
January 4
Dear diary,
It's sunday night so its time to recap my day before Im off to watch a
movie
with Vada and Morgie.I got up early this mourning to go for a light
half an
hour run with Eva and Coach Nick around the gym but it turned out to
be an
hour full out run.By then it was 6 and almost time for workout so I
grabbed
some water and toast and ran and got my grips since for some reason
they
werent in my locker.I was almost late but I got there with two minutes
to
space which caused Coach Lois to ask me if Im really going to take our
pact
seriously.We streghtened and than went straight into tumbling for more
than
fourty minutes straight just working two passes each.Than we did some
flexiblity which really helped because than we did full routines and I
noticed my dance looked alot better than it usually does.MY assessment
of
the tumbling at the beginning:Overall it didnt go very well because in
the
beginning both passes were causing me trouble.The arabian double punch
front
was awful because I wasnt getting enough power out of my ro bhs and
when I
was turning around my chest was down so the double front was
impossible.I
started off by doing some really strong roundoffs and than some really
strong bhs.Then I did some round-off bhs together trying to muster up
more
power then worked ro bhs with the turn and than worked setting up the
double fronts into the pit.the problem that was occuring in this
tumbling
pass was my chest in my ro bhs was down so I had to muster skills as I
was
trying to go up when my body was going down. I havent practice my 2 1/2
twisting punch front full in a while but normally twisting isnt a
problem.well twisting isnt a problem but the punch front full is
because
your changing directions.I need more arm power in order to get my
tumbling
better because often times I find it hard to muster up the power to get
into
some of my tumbling passes.In the beginning with the arabian double
punch
front I couldnt get the punch front but I set it up with a better ro
bhs and
it was much easier.
>full floor : since I worked the two passes that I havent worked in a
while
>for 20 minutes prior to that those tumbling passes wasnt a problem.The
>triple twist was overroated at times and I even got a 3 1/2 twist
around
>but my form was loose since I wasnnt expecting it.I noticed today that
my
>routines were alot more consisent than usual.I hope I can keep it
up.since
>tumbling wasnt the issue I was able to focus more on the dance
elements. My
>body was really tight and easy to control in the double twisting tuck
jump
>yet loose in the double twisting cat leap because the body is
different.my
>triple turn was a little sloppy since i wasnt squeezing but my yang bo
was
>sky high.
have routine : on
beam skills : my tricky areas today were not my dismount or my bhs full
or
even popa back tuck but it was the part where Im in a scale and Im
holding
foot in which that area cause me a little trouble due to strenghing too
much
i guess.lol.my side backwalkover and bhs to back hip circle was a
little
slow as well since the backwalkovers take very of time to do and it
slows
the momentum of the bhs down.
run throughs went ok as I didnt fall but I had to fight for alot of
easier
skills.consisently on this event is driving me crazy. This vault is so
consisent for me and easier for me to do than the double twisting tsuk
so I
got all the way up to a 2 1/2 and coach lois wants me to work three but
i
probably wont for a way.I got a really high pop off the horse and
twisting
was easier once i kept my legs together.
bars : I worked all my skills one time and thats basically all i need
and
got in four full routines since the overall routine and flow wasnt
giving me
problems.the only trouble was sticking the dismount which is really
important if i want to win bars at the intersquad and staying tight in
the
jaegar. I stayed behind for 45 minutes working on jaegars and trying to
stick my dismount.Coach NIck and I also went through beam working on
certain
areas.Thanks for the wonderful practice coach nick and coach lois!:)
After
practice I was definatly beat so I ran for the showers.I eat a quick
lunch
which I brought to my room since I have homework due to the dreaded
tutoring
session I have tomorrow.Oh I forgot to tell you the meeting was today
with
Coach Nick,Coach Lois and the tutors and they decieced the tutoring is
best
for me.(without my say I might add):(Im going to go now since the movie
is
in my old room and I have to go down and get it before they get here.
Love,
ATler :)
May tomorrow bring what I dreamed for today
January 3
Dear diary,
Workout was kind of tough this mourning because it started earlier.A
wonderful 5:15 followed by a warm-up run without TALKING!Believe me
that was
the hardest thing ever since it was also at a faster pace and for a
longer
period of time which is a great time to be talking to your teammates
but
instead coach lois implemented a NO Talking Run.I also didnt get to eat
breakfast this mourning so by vault I was a little weak.Vault went
pretty
good but Im still trying to iron some glitches out exspecially on the
double
twisting tsuk.Im having a hard time with the block off the horse I
think
since my form is completly off in the air its messing up my landings.My
release moves on bars were really high today as well.I am working the
gurova
mount but I am hesistationing alot so I havent been able to get it
yet.Im
all over beam and I have yet to master that darn double layout but Im
trying
so hard.We might have a team trip to the Ski resort but I dont know if
I
should go.I love doing things with my teammates but I dont know if I
can
risk getting injured so soon exspecially now when Im injury free and so
pumped to be where I am right now.I will go if I dont have to prepare
for
any meets though Im hoping I will. I hung out with Britt and Emily
after
mourning practice than Vada at lunch though lunch wasnt all that great
since
I could only eat some rice.Im listening to some mixes that my brother
made
for me and my stomuch is growling since its so empty and right now so
is my
heart.I miss my family and friends so much and I guess I didnt consider
myslef one to get homesick since it happens so rarely.Eva and I are
going
for a little extra conditioning but I hope to talk to you soon.Im
spending
way to much time in my room and I got to get out.Brian sent me a
welcome
home letter which I found in my mailbox so I will probably have to give
him
a call.I havent spoken with him in a while but he did im me at home.I
might
bring up going to a school instead of tutoring to Coach Nick tomorrow
but we
will see since they always say they'll consider it but they never due.I
havent heard anything from alie so I wonder if shes coming back.Not
everyone
is here yet so I dont know who is messing or not.I hope we will have
alot of
old people coming back so it will be like old times again but I have
been
here long enough to know that people come and go and thats just part of
life.
Love,
Atler :)
January 2
Dear diary,
Good mourning ,what a wonderful mourning.It's only day two of Topo and
Im
really glad to be back.I woke up at 4:00 in the mourning to Cams
snoring and
couldnt go back to sleep so I might as well tell you about last nights
sleepover.Everyone had fallen asleep except for VAda, Kelly,
Sammie,Krista
and I so we snuck down to the gym and played some games. We were having
a
blast until Coach Nick came in and told us Coach Lois was on her way to
the
Rec Room to see what was going on so we ran back to the Rec Room and
pretended we were asleep. It didn’t work since Krista burst out
laughing.
Coach Lois told us to go to bed because we had a meeting at 9:00 the
next
mourning but as she was leaving she told me to meet her in her office
at
8:00 sharp.
So I woke up this mourning and got all ready for practice than went to
the
cafeteria for some breakfast. It turns out grandma Benni had the list
of
people who were on food restriction myself among them. The weight loss
shake tasted disgusting but it feels great to be back and its worth
it. I
went into Coach Lois’s office for our talk. She wanted to know how I
was
doing since it turns out she’s been corresponding with my mom since
the gym
closed and heard about what I went through. She told me what she
expected
of me and how she missed having me around. She set a really high
standard
for me and I hope I don’t let her down. I got a better look on what
Coach
Lois is about through our discussions. She told me how she felt bad
that
when I was going through a hard time she didn’t give me the attention
that
she thought she could have. Its not that we understand each now ( in
fact
its just the opposite,I dont think we ever wil) but I think we can
accept
why things are the way they are between us. My dad called me today and
told
me how my mom hasn’t stopped crying since I left.Im homesick now even
though Im really at home here.Sammy is Alana's little sister and she
is
here holding Alana's spot till alana is done dancing in this ballet.I
got
to talk to her at breakfast this mourning and she is really funny so I
look
forward to getting to know her better.She has a tint of cranberry in
her
hair which reminds me of the time where Cam and I dyed our hair
red,white
and blue before a meet and coach lois was really steamed.She doesnt
seem to
have a problem with Sam's hair though so Im conteplating pink ???BE
GOOD,Stay determined and perform at your best always is my saying now
adays.
I was alittle sore today at workout but I handled it fairly well
,gritting
my teeth but not really caring how much it hurt and at some points it
did.Beam was a little shaky since I had to do my old routine but Coach
Lois
was on me so I stayed determined and fought every landing.WE worked
alot of
group conditioning and worked on routines alot as well.I eat a piece
of
fruit for dinner and some salad along with that diet shake again and
called
some of my friends at home back but mostly I just played catch up.Im
going
to unpack a little and than going to the rec room to play some games.I
wonder what tomorrow will bring.........
Oh I forgot to mention that there is going to be an intersquad
competition
on the 8th which is wednesday.My goal for that is top 5 at the first
intersquad I have had these current routines before we left and have
been
practicing them but I just need a few more days to get into the swing
of
things and than I will be ready to fight.I g2g people are once again knocking at the door.At topopolilly its a constant party.
Love,
Atler :)
Im back ready to show the world I can do it again
January 1
Dear diary,
It feels so good to be back that words can't express what I felt
walking
through the doors of Topopolilly.Actually I didnt walk through the
doors
because even before I approached the doors a crowed of people came
running
out like they just had a tin filled of Grandma Benni's home made
cookies(so
hyper).I arrived at Topopolilly at nine o clock in the mourning and I
ran
throughout Topopolilly trying to catch up with everybody. The first
room I
went to was Vada’s and Eva’s room and we ran around going from room to
room
to see what everyone has been up too. Of course I didn’t spend time
unpacking but I have plenty of time for that. We (Eva, Vada, kelly,Cam,
Jennie, Em, and Tia,) all sat around the rec room talking and catching
up
with everyone and I just sat there listening until Cam who never misses
a
beat asks me if I was doing ok. I told I was fine but after much prying
I
revealed the basics and they were very supportive as I know they would
be
and willingly to help. After that we went through weighing in and some
other
standard precederces and than we planned a mid-night sleepover where
all of
us are going to sneak out of our rooms to sleep in the Rec Room.I
really
hope Coach Lois doesnt catch us tonight.Normally I dont care since Im
always
getting into trouble with her but I make a promise to myslef to work
harder
than I have ever worked before (If thats possibe)because I really want
to be
the best more so than ever before.I have to prove to her that I am back
strong and willingly to win.I weighed in at 65 which isnt bad
currently.Now
on to practice well I came in there determined to start strong,
watching
Coach Lois's every move.She was watching me like a hawk but not with a
stern
look in her eyes but rather a worried look.After a jog I helped led
stretches with Cam while getting to know some of the new girls.Some
looked
really scared which I can relate to since I remember my first workout
at
topo.The thing is so was I.I was so nervous and I dont know why.A place
I
have been hundred of thousands of times before yet it didnt feel
right.Vault
went well-mostly worked double tsuks.bars went great.I did a couple of
my
old routines which were rockey but ok.I worked gurova mounts with Coach
Nick-I was totally into working new things.My old beam routine didnt
really
flow but I worked double front dismounts with coach nick and dance and
routine composition with Lois.Floor went great as well.I wish all
practices
can go this well.Its werid my skills were hit and solid but I doubted
myslef.I better not start this again I just felt ackward.Opps someone
is
knocking at my door and since I dont want to be cooped in my room on
the
first night Im going to head off to the meeting before dinner.
Love,
ATler :)
ITS SO GREAT TO BE HERE.IM FINALLY HERE BUT IT FEELS
WERID..............
August 9
Dear diary,
Good mourning.:)Im sitting here at Kimball Park gymnastics happy as a clam
luckey just to be here and to be performing gymnastics.Everyone at Topopolilly was worried that I would be upset that Im not currently training at topo but at this point I am just content training here and in a way I would prefer it to training at Topo.WEll at least for this week anyway.Coach Lois is going to give me a call when she thinks I can handle the workouts because she doesnt want me to reinjury myslef before nationals.I miss everyone at topo very much since I havent been there in more than a month.Since the minor accident and getting sick I had alot of time to reassess my goals in gymnastics and Im not sure I want to go to the olympics because we all the time I missed I dont think I will be able to do the job that Im capable of doing.I have to go call Coach Lois back.
Love,
Atler :)
July 7
Dear diary,
I feel very tired today.I think its just because of the long practice we had
today filled with alot of tumbling in which I did quite well considering its
been a long week.I have a really bad headache so Im just lying here trying
to get rid of it.This mourning I didnt go to church because I was just so
tired.I hope Im not getting sick as I have so many things to do like preparing for Nationals since it is less than a month away.I am sopposed to do something with Eva tonight and maybe Amanda but Im not feeling that well so I dont know.I feel so hot and Im sweating sitting down and I feel all achy all over and Im not sure what to do but Im just going to sit here and wait.My eyes are getting heavy so Im going to stop writing on account I dont want to poke my eye out,
Love,
Atler :)
July 6
Dear diary,
I had such a rough night last night since I couldnt sleep I spent hours grazing at the clock watching all hours of the night and early mournning.I taped the sound of Emilys snoring so that she wouldnt deny it this mourning when she wakes up.I am so tired now as it is now 6:00 in the mourning and we are going to have to wake up soon to train before our meet againest the Russian girls.I just want to pass out but Im hoping Eva's (i think)will make it my day to put sugar tablets in my drink at least im hoping.I really want to compete but since I have no enery Im going to have to muster up some adreline and hope for the best.I will get back to you with how my day went tomorrow as Im pondering that I will sleep nicely tonight.
Love,
Atler :)
July 5
Dear diary,
Today was the first time ever I didnt have the words to describle what I was
feeling.I along with Jennie got induced into the hall of fame.Our names will
forever be cemented along with topo and Im really honored to accomplish these.Today we spent a good portion of the day traing for the meet against
the Russian girls since the meet is tomorrow. I hope I get selected for the
Specialities meet on either bars or beam through I cant do my bhs full still
so it would be better for bars.Im not sure through.
I got to go toalk to Coachj Lois about something.
Love,
Atler :)
July 4
Dear diary,
Happy 4th of July.Everyone is on alert here in America as they fear that there might be a terriots attack.There wasnt however but there was a shootout at an LA airport but it was terriot relationed so that was good as a whole.Workout started with a run.It was really nice to see all the girls again but there were new ones as well so I spent alot of practice getting to know them and to teach them some american culture.I made everyone this mini-bags with american stuff in it for both the topo girls and the russian gymnasts.We are going camping tonight but since Coach Nick and I have a private lesson tonight Im going to go later with him since he has to drive there with all the equipment.
Talk to you tomorrow
atler :)
July 3
Dear diary,
THe russian girls are coming later tonight and Im really glad that they werent here for practice today as I had the worst one ever.It was so hot today that before we even got started I was sweating the amount of water that elephants drink in a day.According to Camer thats a whole lot.Coach Lois yelled at us for allowing lester(Camers and kelly's Snake)to come into the cafetria and gym and nearly scaring Coach to death.We started dance lessons today and I was a little rusty but I wasnt falling all over the place which wasnt the case in regular practice.I messed up everything and Coach Lois made it quite clear to me that I didnt reach my potential and all that stuff that recently I have heard many times before.Tomorrow We are having a party here at topo but the KPers invited us to theirs but unfortunatly we cant do to the fact that the Russian gymnasts are here .Im going to go dip my head in the sink since Im so hot than im going to play some cards with britt and Krista.
Love,
Atler :)
July 2
Dear diary,
:)Today is the duel meet with EVGA meet and Im just happy that I get to compete and right along the tiger squad will help our squad tremondously.Our Squad consisents of EVa,Marina,Marie,and Tia.We won the team competition by 2.3 points earning a total of 187.350 and the guest team earning 185.050 and
second place.I had a really good time with my team and Im glad everyone was
able to pull together with little notice and help each other out which was
alot better than winning.Eva won the meet with a 37.725 and I came in second
with scores of 9.675,9.575,8.875 :(and 9.575 making a total of 37.700 which
is nothing to get upset about with such short notice but nothing to start
celebrating either.Marina had a great meet for her getting a tie for third.Marie was 5th and Tia had a rough meet with a 9th place showing.Topo
team two got third.
Im going to go to bed the russian gymnasts are coming tomorrow and I cant
wait.Tomorrow I have to get up early so that I can help Grandma Benni with
some July 4th stuff.
Love ATler :)
July 1
Dear diary,
Today is my 14th birthday and there is really nothing special about this
year in the aging progress except that I hope that I will become National
Champion this year and if I believe and do what I am capable of I will do
it.Im going to get out of bed even though it still early but Emily is out of
bed and since its still kind of quiet out I can eat some breakfast in peace
this mourning so that I can get my mind frame set to work hard in practice.Through its my birthdays its still yet another day at the gym.
Love,
ATler :)
June 30
Dear diary,
Have you ever been so caught up in a dream that you forgot the things that
were happing around you.Im so caught up in training to achieve all the goals
I have set that I forgot that my 14th birthday was tomorrow.I didnt remember
until Emily was asking me this mourning to be at our room at 6:00 tomorrow
and I was like what for and she was like a certain someones birthday is tomorrow.I replied that I didnt think anyone here at topos birthday was tomorrow and I started saying well what should we do for their party and Emily just stared at me and burst out laughing.I was perplezed at this act of rudeness untill I saw my calender that was hanging on the wall with my birthday circled.Wow I felt like such an idiot and couldnt stop laughing.I have been so busy lately and so have my parents that they havent called me in two days(which is odd since they normally call everyday and they usually send something for my birthday and I havent heard anything from them.I guess Im going to go try my parents again to see if their home,Grandma Benni said they called but they havent left a message on my room phone so Im not sure.Im going to go try to find out whats going on.
Love,
Atler :)
June 29
Dear diary,
:)I am really looking forward to seeing the Russian girls again and getting
the chance to show them America.I hope we can go on some road trips to show
them more of America because quite frankly the part where we live is probably the most boringest part of the whole United States of America and I dont want them to think the USA is boring.The fighting has calmed down alot but Im not really sure because I have stayed out of it as much as possible but alot of people come up to me and are like what do you think about it and I just say Im not sure.I did hear that Tia made a comment about what kelly said and everyone was mad for a while but I think its not a problem anymore.I had such a fun time last night.Emily was really happy about getting second place in the intersquad so her and I celebrated with a late night snack brought in by Grandma Benni.We watched movies till three o clock in the mourning and I know Lois wasnt to happy with that.Dont ask me how she finds out about these things she just does and she blamed my poor performance on the dance aspect of my floor routine on that.I was like you got to be kidding.I can miss up without the occasionally late night celebration.She just rolled her eyes and told me to get back to my routine.I wowed her when I did pretty good on my tumbling passes.I worked alot of individual skills today but all in all it went well routine wise.Back to our celebration Em and I just sat around talking about my olympic experience and about some of the past events of topo.I never really get to talk about the olympics except to the media people and so I hope I didnt bore her with all that imformation.She seemed to enjoy it though and kept asking me alot of questions though so I hope she didnt mind it.
Im going to go see if I can find ALlie or maybe Camers.
Love,
Atler :)
June 28
Dear diary,
Hello.Its been a long day already but I have alot to talk to you about so I
might as well get you caught up with everything that I forgot to tell you
about before.Along with the ranking change announcement there was also an
announcement about having a dance teacher that will come starting next week.I think the dance teacher will be her like two days a week or something in which one day it will be with our squad or by ability and than the other it will be individually.I looked forward to that as well because when I was little I used to dance competitively through I wasnt nearly as good as lindsey is.I danced since right after I stopped doing gymnastics since I couldnt compete I took up dance and it was alot of fun but I havent done it except for making up routines since our old dance teacher Ciara left.I think by incorparting dance it will help our gymnastics alot as we seem to lack polish that we need to win the upcoming olympics.The results are in for the intersquad and Sarah won this week.SO far the rankings have had this people at the top Tia-2,jennie-2 and Sarah once.I got fourth out of 22.Emily was second,third was Eva and 5th was Tia with Jennie in sixth.pretty much the same people are near the top fighting it out so I guess thats why some of these people are fighting about the new rankings and how it should go.Im staying out of it though.
I had to put a wrap on my leg today before practice though which for the most part practice went well.Oh Shannon left a message at the message board here at topo asking us whats going on and I also got a call from Lara today as well.It was really great hearing from her but she wont be coming back.I got to go.
Love,
ATler :)
June 27
Dear diary,
Wow what a day.I know life is not perfect but here at Topopolilly apart from
the rough workouts that can occur daily, outside the gym there is mostly good times.Being with these bunch of girls most of the time you cant help but being happy.Unfortunately today was an exception as things took a turn for the worse this mourning when Coach Lois announced the ranking system will once again change adhering more weight on the experience points.It caused a huge uproar and through your probably confused journal about the above situation Im going to neglect to speak about it at this point and time as Im too confused mainly and upset about all the fighting.I refared from fighting but put my view about it at the end so I hope no 0ne gets mad at me about what I put.Eva and Jennie were literaly fist fighting in the Rec Room before Cam intervened.I being the mother that I am wanted to make sure everything was alright but I have so many concerns and worries about beam right now that I escaped to the gym while most of this was occuring in the rec room.I left the gym early so I could go to acting classes but it didnt matter much since I have been in the gym all day not really getting much done on beam at least.Everything else was really good.Vault was amazing as I made my way from Yerchenko fulls to double twisting yerchenkos nailing everyone up into the 2 1/2 twisting yerchenko.I have to write later though Coach Lois is making an announcement and so I must go face the war zone out there.
Atler :)the smiley face is there only because I had a great time at
acting
class.
June 26
Dear diary,
:0 I am quite tired but its only 9:35 and I dont want to go to bed just yet.I once again had struggles on beam and i had to spend more time on that event during squad workout and as a private lesson.Otherwise workout went great today particulary floor was rocking but none of my tumbling passes were stuck.The result for the Pet Power festival are in and the Tiger Squad rocked scoring 187.625 and with that score a first place finsh.Opilly placed second with a score of 186.275 followed by the Lilly than the pop squad.Jennie won the all-around followed closely by EVa than Tia.Jennie won with a 38.65 and I came in sixth out of 23 with a 37.95.4th was Sarah and 5th was Vada.Maddie is mad at Morgie and its so werid to witness this occuring since they are such good friends best friends like kelly and Cameron are.Im going to bed talk to you more tomorrow.
Love,
Atler :)
June 25
Dear diary,
I really just want to mention how Im getting sick of my bhs full.Have I forgot to mention that in the last couple of entries I would be shocked.I did some therapy on my ankle and I think its not really going to be a problem anymore.I have been approached by Coach Lois to change my floor music which I got just before nationals last august which meant I didnt really have it for that long but she deciced that I need a change for Nationals that are coming up in August.I really want to win Nationals this year and since that has been a goal of mine for a really long time I hope that I can do it.I dont want to talk about that right now as its too far away to get all worked up about it.The funniest thing happened today well more like the funnest.Eva got some waterballons sent to her from her friend Joseph and ran immediatly to my room where Vada and I were playing a card game.Along with her was Tia so we plotted to go dorm to dorm and pelt everyone but than Grandma benni heard us plotting and got in on the plan.To ensure everyone would be surprised she had Coach lois in and tell everyone to meet outside for an important meeting.We went out and when everyone was outside we surprised them with water ballons.It was so funny to see Camerons face but it got ugly when kelly backed her up.I got a call from my dad and we talked for a long time since I havent seen them for so long.I miss them so much.
Love ,
Atler :)
June 24
Dee diary,
:)Today has been a rough day filled with many troubles in training.It started out good with conditioning going awesome with no or little I should say problems with my ankle.Than I went to beam and had an off day there missing my mount a majority of the time and Coach Lois wouldnt let Coach Nick let me move on so I spent like 45 minutes on those things.I got really mad at her that I almost walked out of the gym but I just wanted to work out and get this skill under control.Everyday its something else and Im sick of it.oh,I forgot to tell you our mascot is a tiger.Get it tiger squad tigers.Wow Im corny.The tiger squad is such a great bunch of girls as it was hard to stay mad about beam so by the time I went to vault I was more in control of my actions.Oh I forgot to tell you what happened to Cameron at the duel meet against dragon.She did one of her famous falls off beam and had Eva and I dying of laughter.AS I look around the gym I have noticed that Im not the only one that is having an off day.
I will talk more tomorrow its 10:00 and Im sure workout is going to be tough tomorrow.
Love,
ATler :)
June 22
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning.I cant wait to get moving this mourning as I talked to
the owners of this festival yesterday and I told them that I had experience
with horse riding so they might ask me to ride the horse in a show.I havent
realized how much I have been neglecting Vada and Eva lately until Vada
was sitting there in a dazed and than she almost forgot my name :).Mostly I
have been hanging out with EMily and Tia since Emily is my roommate and TIa
is new to the tiger squad as well.Tia and
Emily have chosen horses so Im going to show them how to ride the
little onies today.Jennie asked me to chill with her today so Im going to make
sure that I also talk with Amanda as she is also suffering from an ankle
injury.Maybe we can sit around talking while the dumptruck dumps a
million pounds of ice on my throbbing ankle.Im really looking forward to
performing at the festival and I hope to "sell my routines" as I dont think the
technical aspect of my routines is going really well.Basically that
means the bhs full and the dismounts mainly but there really not too
drastic.I really want to do well but so does eveyone else.It 5:30 and I have no
clue when COach Lois is waking us up!I know Im going to be ready to attack
the day as I really want to do well.Have I said that enough in this entry?I
love the horse im sponser its quite young and not quite as buildnt.Its name
is Baskadova oh I dont know how to spell it.I have to go to practice so
talk to you later.
Love,
Atler :)
June 21
Dear diary,
I HATE BEAm,I HATE Beam.Ok maybe thats a wee harsh more like dispise it.THe
only thing I dislike right now is my darn bhs full.I just want to go back to
a week and a half ago when I was completly nailing the skill everytime without a waver.I didnt nail one if practice today so I went over time and did more of those and more floor routines as well.Im deeply sadden about my performance there well just pi**ed off about it.Wow Why all the anger?I was in a really good mood today mostly because I got to see horses today.I am at the Pet Power festival and im sitting around waiting for my picture to be taken with my horse.I have to go to the fairgrounds in a few minutes since thats where they are located.I see the photographer approaching so i have to go.
love Atler :0
June 20
Dear diary,
My arms are so weak today,everyday really.After all these years I am just
finding out how weak my arms are and its truly evident in the drills we did
today.I did really well on all the stomuch drills as I know have my abs of
steel back.I had alot of fun on floor today just playing around with my
tumbling passes and hopefully as soon as this darn ankle heals I can go back
to doing double layouts again.Or maybe play around with some new front
tumbling passes.I kept on messing up on my dismouts off beam and bars and it
was getting on my nerves so I finally went on to something else and stayed
after practice and worked more by myslef and It turned out to be worse.After
a while Coach Lois came in and started to help me but it seems like really
all she did was yell at me.I was really mad at her because everything I
did she would critize it and knowing me I just had to argue back.I dont
need any negative vibes right now and she was really making me perform even
worse.So the last one of the night I completly stuck right in her face.She didnt say a word.I am such a snot sometimes.Grandma Benni warned me about messing with Coach Lois but I have heard it all before.I have total respect of Lois but its just that we are so much alike in some ways and totally the oppostite in others.I did some many beam routines today and all were solid minus the dismount.I had this huge brace on my ankle through workout.I hung out with Eva avoiding studying for my mid-terms until my tutors came looking for me.
Love,ATler :)
June 19 #2
Dear diary,
Bars-I felt really tight on bars today as I really didnt feel the rhythum of
the swing today like I usually do .The form was ok.I finally won the drill
thing today as I really didnt want to run those extra laps and so I fought
with all my might to stay on.
Beam-MY stupid bhs full.I was working more on my postion today and than
because of that I would be all over the place.As soon as I got back to my
old habits however I would stay on the beam but have poor form.
floor-What fun floor was today.All my tumbling passes were landed well and
my dance elements were completed and on time with the music.That is often a
problem of mind as My elements tended to be out of control and I always have
to rush to catch up with the music.
Love,
Atler :)
June 19
Dear diary,
Good mourning.:)Im really looking forward to another workout with my squad
members as the mood is postive and we are all ready to improve individually
and as a team.I recieved a letter from Will in the mail and I really miss
him so much.He's thinking about coming up and visiting me soon but unfortunatly he cant stay here as Coach Lois and Coach Nick would have an absolute fit.Its not like hes my boyfriend or anything hes just my bestest friend in the whole wide world.I cant wait until practice today because after working so hard in Russia I just have the desire to work as hard here.I had to wrap my ankle like a million times today already as I really hate babying it but COach Lois would go nuts if I didnt.
Well its time for lunch and I promised Grandma Benni to set out some more plates.
Love,
Atler :)
June 18
Dear diary,
:)I'm so sorry that I didnt write sooner about the meet in Russia the other
day, I have had alot of things to do around here and my ankle has kept me
occupied as well as studying for finals next week.My team was topopolilly
3-Morgie,Maddie,Marissa,Alie(Muchkin),Arika and I placed third out of six
team beating two topo teams and one moscow team.I got fifth individually
being the fourth placing topo gymnast.My scores went like this 9.575,9.7,9.3,9.4=37.975.I had a hop on my two and a half twisting yerchenko
and a step on my tsuk.Bars was pretty good but I think stucking my dismount
helped overlook some of the other minor mistakes that I made.I fell on my
bhs full which thinking more about the postion makes it harder to do and so
I lately I have been falling but I would rather fall now than have poor
presentation.Floor was a diaster as all my tumbling passes were out of bounds except for the 2 1/2 twisting punch front full.I nailed that one but that still put my mood in a daper.
Tia won again and Im really glad that shes in my new squad because than I might actually win!I loved the lilly squad members so much but my new squad is pretty neat as well.I believe that you put any of the topo girls together as a squad and they could all have the potential to win.
I am
tired and I have more studying to do in the mourning.I hope I can actually go
to acting classes on thursday but I really doubt it.
Love Atler :)
June 16
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning..Happy Father's day to my Daddy back home!I miss him so much
but there is no way to be there so I sent him his presents in the mail.WE
leave Russia today and Im really upset about that as I loved learning about
the culture and getting to know a little bit about the life here in Russia
that is quite different from America.They work really hard as we do in
America but the motivation is different as doing well brings promise for the
future.I have been nursing a sore ankle so Im a little bit apprehensive about the meet scores but its going to be interesting to see how I did.I love flying in planes so Im glad we get to go on one but the bad thing is that I have to study for my finals.
Love Atler :)
June 15
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning.My ankle is really sore and I dont know how Im going to be
able to handle Grenkovs conditioning workouts today.
~Im back from training.Grenkov made sure I didnt just seat around while they
were conditioning and he gave me drills using my arms not my leg.WE went and
eat at a resturant that was very Americanized and I was quite disappointed
as I wanted to indulage in more Russia Food but for dinner we went to this
place that had fantasic food and an incredible light show that occured right
before our eyes.We also saw swan lake which was breathtaking as you could
see the influence of the Russian Ballet company compared to the Academy in
say New York.
I am tired and so Im heading off to bed.
Love Atler :)
Love Atler :)
June 12
Dear diary,
Offical training starts early.Its 5:45 and Pratice starts at Six!I gotta go
so i will write after training.~Wow.I cant believe all the conditioning we did this mourning.I think it was as much as I have done all year.I felt really great in the begining and I kept up with the leading girls but than I started to fall farther behind everyone so I just pushed through to the best of my abilities.I was luckey to have Coach Lois first but than again not so good as we had to do alot of routines.I think i handled doing routines well despite the fact that my arms were shaky so much from conditioning.THe coach on beam was paid alot of attention to details like whenever or not you were on your toes,if your chin was up or if you completed each skills.She helped me alot on changing
my postion in the bhs full and though I fell alot more on the skill than I usually do I felt better in my postion.On floor we did alot of tumbling and
routies and after that I was beat.Vault was next with Coach Grenkov and oh
boy was that tough.It was a little imtimidating working out with the russians but contrast !to popular belief they were really nice and willingly to help us but I kept looking at them admiring there abundence of talents.after workout we went to lunch where we hung out with the Russian girls and got to know them better.We talked and than all went to take naps.We met in the rec room alittle while later and they taught us some traditional russian games and they were dying to know more about america as most have never been.Dance was interesting as the dance teacher didnt speak hardly any english.They should us some traditional russian dances that were just breathtaking.After WE went to night practice and had sort of like a mini-meet with just routines being performed.I started out on bars and completly nailed my routine right down to the toe point.Coach Grenkov was really impressed as he smiled in approvel and talking with all the girls thats something that he rarely does.I then went to beam and fell off on my bhs full trying to work more on the postion.My tumbling was kind of shaky but no falls and good presentation.On vault I nailed the 2 1/2 twisting yerchenko and fought hard for the landini!g on tsuk but I took a step.I loved watching the big tricks and confidence that the russian gymnasts had.After I showered and got ready a bunch of us went to a Russian resturant in which I tried ordering in Russian.Rozalina helped me alot.she is alot like me as she tends to speak back to her coach if she doest think something is right and she is interested in going to an American unniversity.Another gymnast I have connected with is Sveltlana as she to as had to come back from injuries many time after being the star and she had to prove to everyone that she is good.Im tired so Im heading off to bed.
love,
atler :)
June 11
Dear diary,
:)The training here is hard and I feel really good when ever the announcement for break is sounded.I spent a minor fraction of my break studying for some last minute exams before summer tutoring starts.It never ends.............I have to go stufy more.
Love Atler :)
June 10th
Dear diary,
:)The Summerfest results are up and I came in 9th out of 2o all-arounders.Lilly Squad finshed 5th out of 15 teams.I placed 2rd behind Tia out Topo people making my postion mantain for two weeks in a row with Jennie coming next for topo than Sarah,Eva and Cameron.I will get back to you with more results as of right now.Oh I forgot to tell you journal that I lost the last couple of journals I have written since coming here to topo and Im really upset as they had all the struggles and moments of joy captured in that and Its not like I could ever replace what I want through at that time.Im going to keep looing though.
Love Atler :0
June 9th
Dear diary,
Good mourning journal.Im on the plane heading to Russia.We had to get up
really early this mourning as its a long flight to Russia and we wanted to
get there as soon as possible.We have only been on the plane for about an
hour and a half and already Im bored out of my mind.Maddie is snoring and
Morgie and I are trying to poke her but Coach Lois is giving us looks to
stop so we must.Im sitting here writing to you journal just as the sun is
coming up so I probably have to go and start reviewing more for my finals as
I doubt I will have any time once we start training.
Love,
Atler :)
June 8
Dear diary,
Its early in the mourning and the sun hasnt had a chance to shine through my
window as its still sleeping but Emily was up and adam packing so I got out
of bed and slowly made my way to the pile of stuff that Im going to take to
Russia.I have been adding to that area since we found out we were going and
its as tall as the sky and I have no clue how Im going to fit everything in
the bag.I always overpack where ever I go.THe hawaii party is tonight and I cant wait but the thing is I have to get through the Summerfest first and that wont be an easy task.I have to go work out some last minute Summerfest issues as well as the party tonight so I will talk to you later.
Luv,
Atler :)
June 7
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning journal.Today marks the start of the summerfest and my goal
for this meet is to make an event final(beam is my best shot)but depending
upon how many people are going to be competing Im aiming for Top 20???Im
really looking forward to this meet as after this mournings workout I have
reason for being optimistic as I had a fairly good competiton and I hope I
can put it together in the meet.Maybe go four for four would be an unobtainable goal but I just want to push through and be presentable for this meet.Everyone around here is taking finals for school or is already on summer vacation so they are in the gym now at my normal time.I have to go eat a good lunch so that I will have energy for training day so I probably wont be able to talk to you because after practice Im going to Vadas room and we are going to play around with ideas for our hair for the meet tomorrow.I wonder what leos were going to wear as not everyone has the offical team leotards.Maybe each squad can wear a certain leotard of topo and the other girls can borrow from a member in the other squads.I think I want my hair curled in a ponytail with a simple ribbon.Too bad its nice out as my hair is now blond again.Im not too keen on blond hair as many people think of sterotype blonds and look down upon me and besides way too many people are dying there hair blond but I would prefer black or blown.I would ultimaly prefer pink but Coach Lois didnt approve but maybe Cameron has the courage to go against Coach Lois because at this point its not wise of me to get on her bad side as Im longing for a new bars set.
Love Atler :)
June 6th
Dear diary,
:)Practice was rough this mourning as we had to do a bunch of routines as we
have alot of meets coming up all in a row.I love competing( though I usually
mess up :))but I havent had alot of time to be consisent and get the numbers
of routines down to walk into a meet consisent.Today is the finals for the
CGA meet and I wonder if I will be competing.I really hope that I could be
calm coming into meets but at this point I just feel like a nervous wreck
though Cameroon and kelly Say I handle it like a pro.Im really looking
forward to going to Russia and today I looked on the internet for stuff
to do there.I'm not sure if we'll have time to site see but Im sure we
will be able to see a little(hopefully not just the sites on the way to
workout)I hate that when we travel for meets in a far away place all we see is
the gym!I know we arent going to Russia just to site-seeing as we are going
to be working out very intensly as the level of Russia is higher than the
programs in the USA! I was so tired today in practice today so I know Im going to have to get alot of sleep on the plane and since its a long plane ride I hopefully will feel refreshed by the time we get to russia.Tomorrow is the Summerfeast meet and I hope I can muster up the strengh to do well. BArs was awful today as was floor as I couldnt keep my energy up and I landed more times on my butt in Arabian double front punch front pass that Coach Lois though that I was fooling around.By the time I got to floor today I was just thinking to
myslef just do the reps you need and be done but Coach Nick had other ideas
and so did my physical tumbling and I ended up being in there more than
double the time and I found myslef being one of the last one in there along
with Jennie,Sarah and Cameron.Vault was ok since I fixed my run by taking
off at a different distance but bars was horrible with my Jaegar having
awful form with my legs seprated about a full foot apart.i kept on
overroating my dismount off beam as well but they got consisent again at the end.After practice I went to the cafetria and since it was desserted I took my meal up to the rest room and watched tv with my a bunch of people that we're
in there.Im planning on an early night so I better sign off now as training
starts for summerfest tomorrow and I have alot to fix judging on todays
practice.I just need a clear mind and some ice and I will be fine in the
mourning.
Love,
ATler :)
June 5th
Dear diary,
:)I was so pumped up today in practice because Coach Lois and Coack Nick
made an announcement that on sunday,June 9th,2002 WE are all heading to
Russia!I have always wanted to go to Russia and Im really excited about
that.I adopted a horse today so hopefully my horse at home doesnt get
jealous. I was super tight today on bars as I really want Coach Lois to remember her promist to change my bar routine.I know that Coach Lois isnt my coach but since she is the head coach she still has alot of influence on my
gymnastics.I got to work comancis again but I still had to work thachevs.but
man was the height on them sky high.I love doing handstands on bars now
because they usually dead on as doing the drills onbars has really the
rest of my rounties because by not having to work so hard on nailing the
handstands i have more time to work and focus on the remander of the
routine.My floor routine didnt have alot of spunk but I had an adreline
rush after my second routine where I got my triple twist pass not underroated but overroated.I was alittle out of controle on my BHs so I had way too much power in my pass.My dance was sloppy as well but I did ok all in all.On Vault my double twisting tsuks were too short as my legs got funky in the air and I closed up leaving me to landed lock legged.I have to go talk to SArah.
Loves,
ATler :)
June 4th
Dear diary,
:) :) :)Boy am I happy.The results for the intersquad are up and I got second behind Jennie in the all-around!THe most exciting new though is that Lilly Squad placed first ruining the mini-streak that the opilly squad had going.I believe that we have the talent to continue the fight for the title but we all have to be working day in and day out.I made another team though its not a IFGA meet its not a duel either.I made the team as an all-arounder for the CGA invitional.My teammates who are going also are Tia(UB,BB)Maddie(v,fx)Morgie(BB,FX)Moranda(V,UB)so it looks like im the only all-arounder and I hope that I will do well for my team and not mess up.
Love Atler :)
June 3
Dear Journal,
:)THe duel meet results are in and junior squad won with Eva getting first,Emily getting second and ME getting third.I was all over beam and
overroated my dismount.I was really upset about this as this is the only routine that I havent had problems on all week.I also fell out of bounds on the whip to triple twist pass.My form is getting really poor in that pass as Im always just trying to get the triple around not caring about the form as long as I dont fall.I got first place on bars and the only word for that was SHocked.Vault went really well neither overroating or underroaing either or them.Our lilly squad had a kip cast handstadn contest and I got second behind morgie as the very last one I ran out of gas and my last handstand was loose.I think all in all I redeemed myslef in practice today for all the mistakes I did in the meet.I hope to make the CGA Invitional which begins on thurday.Im going to talk to Emily about the party we are hosting on SAt.
Love Atler :)
June 2
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning journal.I feel very refreshed after taking a shower as
practice this mourning was really hard due to the hot weather and
feeling drained out due to the weeks hectic schduele.We didnt do more than one
floor routine which was good as I wouldnt have been able to continue.My Bars
was really easy to connect the elements but my dismount was causing me some
difficulty as I was releasing out of the higgens roll too late and
couldnt manage to bring it to my feet.On beam I kept on rushing my bhs full so
that was a little shaky as well as my dismount was off to the sides at
time.My vaults were good but my run was off and not generating as much speed so
I worked on running drills.I went to church this mourning and just got
home and I recieved a phone call from Sasha so I spent a half an hour
talking to her and we made plans to get together soon.Im listening to music but I know at any minute Grandma Benni is going to come in here and tell me to
clean my room so Im going to get started on that.
Atler :)
June 1
Dear diary,
I got a call from my cousin Vanessa today.I really miss my family members as
we're all so close but due to the circumstances of this sport we dont get to
see each other as much as we would like to.Well everyone is my family gets
together except for me.:(MY cousin was calling from my grandma's house where
most of my family was there including my parents and my brother.I got to talk to all my relatives that we're there and after I got off the phone I felt kind of home sick so I went on a search for Grandma Benni but she was no where to be found.I wonder where she was.I went back to my room and played a card game with Emily as Im still getting to know her.The duel meet is later today against Auroa and I hope our team can win.The results arent up for the interquad meet.Wish me luck.
Atler:)
May 30
Dear diary,
:)I am really looking forward to seeing my result in the intersquad because
I am almost postive that I have improved score wise but maybe I could have
fallen place wise.I have done really well this week on my routines but skills wise I have had some problems and that makes doing good on routines rather strange as I usually think too much about the element.I talked to Moranda today and just poured out everything that I have been going through and she gave me some great advice.I am feeling better already but I still have my moments that kind of leaves me saddened.I wrote some letters home because my mom got me this stationary kit and I thought I would let her know it was put to good use. Tomorrow is the duel meet against Auroa and though my routines have gotten better Im not sure how Im going to do in both that meet and the intersquad.I just hope I dont let my teammates down.
aTler :)
Pray for me!
May 29
Dear diary,
:)I am really happy after todays practice showed some minor improvements.I
had a good practice but my stupid popa back tuck combo is driving me crazy
with furstration but I am not going to obesse over it.Well not too much
anyway. I have to go train now.
Write back soon
Luv Atler L:)
May 28
Dear diary,
I stayed after practice lying on mats icing my ankle scoping out the
competition if you will and my attention turned to bars where the
Opilly squad(the current team to beat)was working dilegently on all different
kinds of elements.Tia was working on some drills for a mount and I looked and
saw the gurova mount that I was working on for a couple of months prior to
the Olympics but since my wrist injury I havent had the oppurtunity too.I
cringed and was anger instantly but than I thought how could she have
known that I have been working this skill.I know at this point and time that
my bars routine isnt orginal but the bar routine is not the bar routine im
going to be using to try and make worlds this year,its just temperory.I
worked out with Coach Nick for like an hour on the conditioning program
and its actually going quite well since I lost those couple of pounds last
week.I got a call from WIll and from my parents so i sent some of my
breaks talking to them.O I miss them so much. Grandma Benni is calling me so I have to go.....
Love,
Atler :)
May 27
Dear diary,
WOw.This can not be happening again.I am not getting injuried.My ankle
was in so much pain again this mourning but I cant give in and not practice
because I know if I do that I probably wont come back to gymnastics
ever again and I couldnt possibly to do that,giving up is just not me.I
forgot to tell you about the first two intersquad meets which is now our new
ranking system.May 18 was our first intersquad and our squad finshed third
behind opilly and the pop squad.Individually I placed 15th out of 25 gymnasts
with a score of 36.2.I was so anger at myslef for not doing the best job
that I could possibly do.The one on the 25th was better as I rose to 6th
place/24.Tia placed first in both intersquads a rude awakening that I
am no longer a force to be reckon with but rather than force chaser.Lilly got
second improving our scores more than two points.I hope that I can
continue moving up the ranks due to the fact that experience points are now
starting to come into play as I have the 5th highest of those.I got on the duel meet against aurora with Vada,EVa and Emily and through I really wanted to be on the European and IFGA challenge meet at this point and time just making the team is ok. I have to go talk to Cameron about something.
Love ATler :)
May 26
Dear diary,
Wow.Its eight o clock and its almost time to head to the cafetria for breakfast and than head over to the gym.Its a sunday and still we train.:)I dont know how Im going to get through practice this mourning.I have a throbbing pain in my ankle and last night I could barely stand on it.Im not going to tell Coach Lois though she already as her eye on me so maybe she will notice.I hope not as I dont want her to yell at me for reaching into things too quickly.Im too tired to get up.COme on and attack the day.I will talk to you later if I have time, There is alot to do to get ready for the start of the new week.
Love,
Atler :)
May 25
Dear diary,
Good mourning journal.The interquad will take place this afternoon and
it will determine the teams for a number of meets.THe teams are going to
be chosen for the IFGA U.S challenge,the Swiss cup(IVGCC),and duel meets.I
really want to make the team for the US challenge but I dont know if I
can compete against the IFGA federation when Im not at best because they
expect so much out of me.Any meet will allow me to see where I stand against
topo members and other gyms.My mom sent me a beautiful leotard that I might
wear today for the intersquad unless we have to wear topo appeal which I
doubt due to not everyone has the uniform.Its purple and silver so if the
lilly squad picks those colors my mom said she would get the whole squad
one.Wish me luck journal.
Love Atler :)
May 23
Dear diary,
:)I am looking forward to tomorrow's meet (ranking thing) as there is no way
that I didnt improve.I know journal your thinking that its highly unlikly
that I can rise upbove all the problems I have endured to take the top position in such a short time.Im just saying I got a little more push in workout these past two days and Im feeling optimistic about what lies ahead.Im thinking in the latter aspect of the future.Im going to resume the acting aspect of my life by participate in the Acting classes.My mother said if I was really serious about pursueing this that we can look for a model/Acting agent.I told her at this point it was more her thing than mine and that I probably wont be starring in one her movies anytime soon.Its always been an option since my mom was an actress but I think gymnastics is the road that was paved out for me and thats the road Im going to take.I have been going to my sports pyshc.ALINA through this all and she has been really helpful .Since I have been going to her for about 3 years now she know me inside and out and that makes everything ten times easier.Im going to morgie and maddies room for a sleepover.I wonder if Em wants to come.
Luv,
Atler :)
May 22
Dear diary,
I am back to my happy go luckey self now that I lost two pounds off my 6-8
pound gain frame.I dont want to lead you under the impression journal that I
didnt like the extra pounds on my body (Trust me I didnt/don't like looking
like a skelton all the time)but the baggage and guilt and the abuncence of
emotion that it has brought as not been favorable.I hung out with my new
roommate today Emmie and had a long talk with Vada,Eva and morgie today
about the changes and they were all really concerned about me.Its wonderful
to have the kind of support that gets given in an ample amount of proportions around here.I love being back at topopolilly and there is no where I would rather be but I dont know how Im going to adapt to this new system.We will see.I got to go to ALie's room to show her some pics when I was at home and tell Cameron to turn off her awful music. :)
Love,
Atler :)
May 21
Dear diary,
I got the sweetest letter from Coach Lois today saying how she knows
that I am capable of working my way back up to the top of the leaderboard and
that She knows that Im going through a rough time right now.I really
appriciated that as she and I often bump heads in the past and still at present due to the fact that Im stubborn and I wont always accept things as willingly
as all the rest will.I enjoyed a nice conversation with Emily and Tia
today.It really nice to get to know new people but I dont know if who they are
meeting is really me because I have been out of sorts recently and as I
write this all the words I speak have no feeling.
Atler :)
PS>where am I?
May 20
Dear diary.
I got back really late last night from the three nights and two day
charity event for the Children with musular distrophy in which I am a
spokesperson for.I did horrible at the meet on friday 15th.Tell you more about it later
love Atler :)
May 15th
Dear diary,
Gosh Im so out of shape its unbelievable.I really dont know if I can
obtain the same shape that I was in before.As Cam would say I was diesel
before but now Im as loose as a 6-pack of jello. Today's practice wasn't up to par and blaming it on the time off and the weight gain isnt me.I dont know what
else to do as I dont want to condition my brains out and than get injuried
and there is no way that I cant eat since that will led to even more
injuries and you know I have had my fair share.I felt really heavy in the air
today on my arabian double front punch front and my twists on beam and floor
was as flowing as usual.On Vault I was only able to do up to a tsuk full.MY
switch leap was causing me problems as was my bar rountie.I had to
muscle through the whole thing.Vada was accepted today and Im grateful for
that as I need her help and compainainship more than ever.
I g2g
luv,
atler :)
March 21
Dear diary,
Have you ever felt so much emotions in one day that you dont know quite
if your day was good or bad? MY day started out quite that way when I
saw my name under the first spot in the rankings as of March 19,2002
and as I scrolled down the daily announcements I saw my name on the
roster for the international team championships as well.The team is going to
be -Alyssa,Marie,VAda,Sarah,Ling and I.I took a look at the roster of
the another teams and it looks like we have a good chance to win.I was
really exuberant about that. I then looked over the team for springboard
and I cringed at the site of krista Carr name under a different gym.I
was in a lousy mood after that as I get so mad when my friends in which
I see day in and day out who I laugh with,cry with leave its like a
part of me is leaving.THats leds me to the part of my day that left me
despressed and sadden.Lara is quitting gymnastics and Im deeply sadden and
Im going to miss the sounds of her violin filling the air and !
all the memories that we have shared.Than there was practice today oh
my gosh.GET ME OUT OF THIS SLUMP.I had so much on my mind today making
it even harder on myslef when all my emotions came together and almost
got me in trouble.My being out of shape also was brought up today by
Coach Lois and she gave me an ulitmative that suggust that if I dont lose
weight soon I might not be able to compete. Who knows whats going to
happen in tonights practice.If anything else goes wrong Im going to
burst!
Love a very sad
atler :)
March 20
DEAR DIARY,
Happy first day of spring!:) I once again didnt have the best practice
in the world but I am now getting used to the daily stuggles and taking
it all more in stride.I havent even thought about giving up through all
these and a reporter who I had an interview with over the phone asked
me why and Cameron was standing there and said "your character wont
allow it" and I concered with her on that one.I gotta go as my bed is
calling for me to take a short nap
Atler
March 19
Dear diary,
Bars went well today with Coach Lois.I guess having a strict coach
around helps you do something and look at it a different way in order for
someone to like it.Coach Lois did not rule out the possiblity of adding
another bar routine though and she said maybe it would be smart for me
to have two routines.The only problem with that she said is you are
working the routines only half the time.I am busy thinking of a more
exciting routine in my head..My wrist is 90% better and the only thing now
that is holding me back to regaining my old form is my totally out of
shape body.Since the Olympics and my injury I have gained a total of
about 10 pounds making me a disgusting 70 pounds.We got weighted today
which was quite unusual and It didnt help having to face coach Lois on
every event today.Usually I keep to myslef and the coaches know Im getting
the job done but with me being out of shape they know I need to get
their help on this so I will do it in a healthy manner and regain my !
old form and ranking in the standings.Tomorrow practice is going to be
all conditioning in the mourning and than cleaning up of the routines
tonight.I know Im going to be really sore on thursday.It was Arika
birthday a few days ago butI just give her her presents today.
I gotta go drink some more water.
Atler :)
March 18
Dear diary,
Coach Lois and Coach Nick are back!I got the rare oppurtunity to talk
to both of them in a meeting we had together only a couple hours after
they got back.I thought they would be really busy today as it is there
first day back but I think they have noticed my displeasure in my bar
routine and found it nessacary to have this meeting immediatly.We havent
made the desicion to change it yet but Im hoping we do.Practice was
really rough today with tons as routines were ordered on every event and
let me tell you if you dont already know.Im out of shape horribly.I hope
my ranking is higher the next time it is updated as I want to let the
coaches know I wasnt slacking off when they were gone.Another workout
and so begins a new week.
atler :)
March 17
Dear diary,
Happy ST patricks day!I went to church this mourning and after Grandma
Benni took us all out to breakfast.I went home and totally wasnt in the
mood to do my homework so I went into the gym and did a little
conditioning with weights and I rode the bike for a little bit.I talked to alot
of my friends on the internet today and I really miss them now.After
lunch I was really bored so Grandma Benni asked me if I wanted to make
these special St Pattys cookies she had planned as a surprise for us.I
make the in the shape of a shamrock.I then went into ALies room to chill
with her for a little bit.We mostly just played with each others
hair.Around three I did my homework and than went to kiki's room to make up
some dances.She is such a good dancer!DInner was really good tonight.WE
had turkey and pototoes and salad and the cookies for desserts.I
noticed not everyone took one though!Im going to do some chrunches.
love with all my heart,
ATler :)
March 16
Dear diary,
I woke up really early as I was so excited that today was the day I got
to go to acting classes.I rode on the stationary bike and went running
as usual.I then had some oranges and toast with jam for breakfast.Than
I had to go to my room to get my hair tied back for dance and get my
dance shoes so my feet didnt hurt.Than by that time I was super sweaty so
I took a shower and waited for Grandma Benni to take me to acting
class.I had so much fun.the first day we mostly got to know each other and
it seems like I have the least amount of acting experience.I had such a
good time that we all deciced to go get some lunch together.Moranda
came and picked me out so that I could watch the Duke VS.Notre Dame game
and I rubbed it in Rissa's face all day that my team Duke won.After I
went to practice and hung out for the rest of the day.
ATler :)
March 15
Dear diary,
TOday was such a nice change of pace as alot of the girls didnt have
school due to superintendiance day and we got a rare oppurtinity to chill
with each other.I was really antsy this mourning so I went for an early
mourning run through the woods taking the trail that has more inclines
to run up.The sun wasnt even up yet but I got the chance to take some
pictures as it did go up.After I went to breakfast and no one was in
there except for Grandma Benni (who is always up early)so I got myslef a
bowl of cheerios with banana and we talked for a little bit.She then had
to get some girls up so I went into the gym and did my conditioning
routine for 45 minutes.THan people started coming in so I took a little
break and did some more strenghting with them than went to bars to play
catch up with tons of routines for 45 minutes.I have been thinking of
changing my routine as I absolulty no energy or feeling and its such a
boring routine.I want something huge.THan I played ping pong with!
Kelly,Cameron,Morgie and Ali.What a bunch of competitors exspecically
kel.I won once,morgie won once and kel won twice.It was so funny when
Cameron did her impressions.Than I had therapy for a little bite.Still
trying to clear my wrist of pain :(.I went for an early lunch and than
went to dance practice.Ciara helped me alot with the presentation of the
routine with the new dance elements and than went to practice for 3 1/2
more hours. On Vault I am having the worst time mustering up the speed
for the front handspring double front which Im still throwing into the
pit.I then took a shower and put on my pjs @ 7,Eat dinner and played
Monopoly with Jennie and ALi.I than went to my room and wrote a letter to
both EVa and Sasha to see when EVa is coming back and to also see how
Sasha was doing.
Love you
ATler :)
March 11
Dear diary,
Today was the six month anniversary of the Sept 11th terrorist attack
and as soon as I woke up I had a moment of silence for all those that
were lost in the attack. I had some toast with jelly and a tons of water
for breakfast as I need it with all the endurance training that Coach
Lois left me.Coach Nick and I designed an endurance training routine
that will make it easier for me to get in shape and it seems that Coach
Lois put it in speed mode.Gotta love COach Lois!:)I got up early today so
I was able to spend more time conditioning and strenghting with Moranda
as we are normally the only ones in the gym in the mourning.After I
went to school at @ 9 and did schoolwork untill 11:15 and then went to
therapy to do some excerises for my wrist still and than eat a quick lunch
of chicken and salad with yes more water :).Then I had to go do even
more tutoring and than @ 1:45 I had a private lesson on vault that last
45 minutes and than did had some time left over to do yes my hom!
ework.Practice started at 3:45 and lasted to 6 and by than I was
racing to the cafetria for food.WE had dance at 7 which went longer than I
thought as it ended at 8:15.I watched 7th heaven and read a chapter of
Catcher in the rye and went to bed around 10.It starts again tomorrow.
oh before dance I hung out with Cameron as she was a little down
because her uncle died in the attacks.
love Atler :)
March 7
dear diary,
I didnt work any bars today as I had to take a test and I was late to
practice.:)I was very very happy about that.Coach Nick and I developed a
new conditioning program that will hopefully build up my strengh for
the new season.but Coach Lois will probably have to approve it though.Man
oh man Im constantly getting reminders on how my wrist injury prevented
me from starting the new season with a conditioned body.Tomorrow is the
squad meet as far as I know and saturday afternoon I start my acting
classes.I cant wait as its been a long time since I have had the
oppurtunity to do something outside of gymnastics.Im second as of march 4th and
thats the last time the rankings have been updated.My wrist hasnt been
that bad lately and that has help in my ever slow process of transiting
into the new code.I have a bit of an earache and i hope that doesnt
affect practice tomorrow as I really dont want to have any more
problems.Everyone is in their own little zone now that competition sea!
son is peaking and I sort of miss hanging around everybody.
Atler :)
March 5
Dear Journal,
I had a good night practice working just vault and floor and enjoyed it
throughly which was a change from mourning practice which was
horrible.Im sick of doing darn thachevs all the time because I find them to be
so boring just due to the fact that everyone else is doing them.I have
such an attitude lately.I dont think there is alot of meets coming up so
that is yet another reason not for me to be motivated.I deciceded to
set some goals for the upcoming months.1)be number one for the entire
month.most important one so anothers can come true 2)rekindle my love for
gymnastics 3)make the world team 4)contend for a world title in the
all-around and on beam
Some of my goals outside of gymnastics is 1)start acting class and get
a small part in the upcoming play 2)get a 95 of better in french 4)do
at least one nice thing a week for someone 5)get started on my website
again
happy peppy
ATler :)
March 4 #2
Dear diary,
:)Practice was really rough today exspecially on beam as I spent most
of the time off the beam rather than on it.Im in a slump right now I can
feel it and I attribute it to these reasons 1)not being on top of the
rankings 2)continuous training even after the Olympics without a break
3) is probably the biggest reason no motivation.I need some help
atler :)
March 4
Hey,
:)I brought a new leotard today as I seem to be rather behind on my
fashion statements and the new shipment came in the store today and I
just couldnt resist.As of yesterday I am second in the rankings behind
SARAH and a place ahead of Vada.I made a promise to myslef right here and
now to stop being so lazy and to get myslef together but you know what
its so hard to get motivated that I dont even know how to start.I got
an application in the mail inviting me to be in an acting class and
Coach Nick thinks I should take up the offer.THere is a squad meet on
friday though the problem is the lilly squad only consisents of ALie and I.I
gotta go to practice now and than come back and look over AP euro
Love ATler :)
March 3
Dear diary,
:).Today was a very productive sunday though it was really boring after
practice.So thats the reason I am writing to you!Heres what I did
today:I woke up at six o clock on the one day we can sleep in later than the
sun!THan since I couldnt get back to sleep I got on some sweats and
went out side for a twenty minute jog as it was fairly nice out.Than I
came inside and had some breaksfast taking my time as I had a while yet
till I had to leave for church.Afterwards I came back from church and
worked out in the gym.I mostly worked on form on bars as I had no desire
to do any routines.I hate my new bar routine,ultimatly I despise it to
the upmost.It isnt my style really and I have no passion for it.That
sounds corney it was the same with my old bar routine too but at least I
got good scores.I didnt work any routines today except for floor which I
thought was neccessary as the conditioning of the routine needed
work.After practice I was sweaty so I deciced to take a shower.I than!
met with morgie and we went to lunch.Than I did my homework and now
being 3:00 Im bored outta my mind.Im going to find someone to talk to
atler :)
February 27
Dear diary,
:)hey.What can I say? I got third and it comes as no suprise to me that
I am not satified with my performance. I know I should be thanking god
for that but Im just really disappointed.But no matter what I do it
never lives up to what I want it to be.I had a rough beginning in which I
will explain in depth later but for now I just wanted to fill you in on
my wrist.It didnt hurt at all today and I didnt have to go to physical
therapy today as I didnt feel any pain.Can you believe that? It seems
to be that half the time Im either injured or god know what!
atler :)
February 24
Dear diary,
I woke up this morning and strengthed a bit and then got ready to go
to breakfast with my parents and when I came into the lobby area I found
my parents talking with Grandma Benni and Coach Nick and than I looked
over and saw ............MY BROTHER. He came with his new girlfriend
Amanda.She was really nice.We went out to breakfast and that gave me a
chance to get to know her better.My brother was right she is alot like
me.I came back from breakfast and went right to my private lesson where
Coach Lois and I went over a few things before the meet tonight.I am now
in my room getting ready to take a shower and do some of my pre-meet
rituals.
wish me luck
atler :)
February 23 #3
Dear diary,
Tomorrow is the CLassics and that calls for both a :)face and a not so
:) face-:(.As Im sitting in my bed fairly early at night I find myslef
remembering the haunting memories of last years classic and as the
pressure resurfaces in my head of what could have been and what should
happen occur now my mind is filled with a million thoughts.My role last
year was completly different as I was "the one chasing the top squad
members".I was the threatening one who was pushing the top members to push
beyond their limit.This year couldnt have have been more different than
last.As now Im EXPECTED to win the title along pre-meet favorite sarah
.I started on bars last year and this year I start on vault.I think
that starting on vault is good because at this time as I have done these
vaults longer than the other three routines and I feel alot more
confident in those vaults than I do in any other event so starting out good
will give me more confidence as the meet progresses and let me tell !
you I need confidence.Plus I end up on floor which is usually a great
event for me.I sit here thinking about last years meet and I quickly
remember how pressure got to me than and after the first rotation finding
myslef in first place and than chocking and knowing how I wont let it
happen again scares me as what happens if it does happen again.WHAT IF I
FAIL.I FEAR FAILURE NOW MORE THAN EVER.HELP ME SOMEONE.PLEASE.
LOVE ATLER :)
I have to go to bed right now but tom
February 23 #2
Dear diary,
I forgot to tell you about some of my concerns about the upcoming
Classic meet on sunday.I have expressed these concerns more than once but
its starting to terrifiy me as I am really concerned that Im going to
disaappoint people and what worries me even more is the fact that more
people expect me to go into all meets and win and at this point and time
I dont think I am capable of winning.Whats even more frightening to me
is if I dont win or make top three in the rankings that people will
write me off.God forbid the day where I find myslef outside the top
spots.I cant even image.
Love Atler :)
February 23
Dear diary,
I have the most wonderful news to tell you.No they didnt give me the
gold medal for being "the coolest person ever".Thanks ARIKA!No the
funnist thing happened yesterday at @ 4:00 I was at workout and my mom called
and asked me if I wanted to come down to salt lake city to see the
Womans final.Of course I wanted to but I still had practice .YOur probably
wondering how my mom came up with tickets to the hottest event in the
winter games.To make a long story shot my parents and Sashas parents
were friends since college and we have been fairly good friends ever since
though its been hard with both sasha and I's training schudules to be
as tight as we used too.Anyway they had once extra ticket and she
invited my mom and than some of the people in the media heard I needed a
ticket and than they manged to come up with a ticket and gave it to me.That
was so sweet.I just had one minor problem now that was standing in my
way.Workout.Coach Lois said that I could after I was finished wi!
th a couple each routines on beam and floor.Than Grandma Benni drove me
to the airport where a jet was waiting for me and at the airport they
had a nice limo waiting for me and that drove me right to the area where
the skating was being held.On my way to the skating venue I went past
the athetle part of the olympic village and all the memories of my
olympic games came flowing back.I went through the security and found my mom
in our seats.ALmost as soon as I sat down a group of little girls came
up to me with tutu's on and asked me if I was Jessica Atler.I signed
some autographs for them and it turned out their seats were right behind
us and the whole time those three little girls were like I cant believe
it is really her.I thought that was so hysterical.AS you know Sasha
fell from third to fourth in the finals and though she managed to compose
herslef on camera and in front of the cameras I was with her and her
family affter at the hotal and she was devasted.I had to leave f!
airly early but Im going to keep more in touch with her as I !
know how hard it is to lose a medal when its within your grasp.
I gotta I will write later
Love atler :)
February 21
Dear diary,
I had an ok practice today but Im getting down to the wire on this
first meet on sunday with the new code.Im going to be nervous of course but
Im not going to be heartbroken if I fall as I know I havent had time to
polish my routines or even begin to come close to polishing them.I
wouldnt be shocked to see a 7.5.That will be a victory in its self to get
that high.I hope Kelly and I are in each others group as we both need
eAch other to get each other though this meet.
atler :)
February 20 #2
Dear diary,
I had a very productive practice tonight working just on beam and floor
as yesterday I spent more time on bars and working the landings on
vault.I have been working out solo in practice as Brittany quit months
ago,Vada has her back injury,Cat is MIA,Cristana is in and out as is Alie
and so its mostly just me a good protion of the time so coach nick goes
and helps the other girls with their new rounties after he is done with
me.I also find myslef not needing all those constant reminders that I
used too and Coach Lois and now COach Nick let me do more of my own
thing as they trust me that I know what I need to do.
atler :)
February 20
Dear diary,
Im really glad that the Classic meet was changed to sunday as 1)I have
more time to practice my new rounties and 2)My parents are going to be
able to fly in.My brother has some football training camp to go too.As
football season is over there are mandatory camps that the players have
to go to in order to stay in shape in the off season.I only got to go
to one football game this season and Im missing out on alot of my
brothers college things that he invites me too.He went to the olympics to
watch me and I realize that he sacraficed alot for me to miss that much
school in his freshman year. He told me he didnt mind because I got him
alot of backstage passes for any sporting event he wanted to go too and
got to meet some of his idols.Do you want to know the sweetest thing
that he said.He said that I was really his biggest hero as He was just in
awe of how much I had to overcome to get there and marvels over
everything that I have done in my short life.Im aiming for top three fo!
r the Classic meet on Sunday.I know I know thats a little steep
considering my little practice time with my wrist and all but I have practiced
through the pain only missing one practice this year due to the coaches
request.I think top three is just a challenge that I need at this point
and by aiming high I will be more determined to achieve $success.I have
to go workout again.Its so good to be able to workout fulltime again
and I just hope that Im not reaching the load too soon.
ATler :)
February 19
DEar diary,
HEY.:).Im 100% code ready and now all I have to do is stay on top
learning my routines and working out the glitches and I will be ready for
the upcoming meets.I shouldnt say all I have to do is working out the
glitches as at this point it is a very BIg task.I had a good practice
today learning my rounties and I can only hope that down the road I will
still enjoying performing these routines.I know that if I dont it will be
even harder to train day in and day out if I dont like my rounties.Im
keeping the same music at this point as its sort of new anyway and
nothing has striked my fancy.I havent had a chance to tell you that Krista
left again with a sprained wrist and Jennie is gone with a death in her
family and Vada with her back and marie because of her ankle.I wonder
when EVa is going to come back???As of the 17th I was 1st but as of the
18th Im second behind Sarah but guess whats arika and morgie are 3rd
and fourth and that is great.Im going to get Morgie and go to the r!
ec room and watch the Ice skating prelims for the ladies tonight.My
friend SAsha is competing and I cant wait.
Love Atler :)
February 18
DEar diary,
Happy presidents day!I spent a good portion of my day in the gym
working on my new rounties and I have gotten two rounties now out of a ten
point o start value.BArs and beam are done and floor is almost complete
as I have my tumbling passes set but its taking longer as I dont have my
music composed all the way.
atler :)
February 17
Dear diary,
As of Feb,16,2002 I have regained my postion at the top of the rankings
and as of today I can resume full training and I hope that I can
continue to maintain the top position.Classics are saturday and I cant wait
to see how I handle my new routines.Coach Lois and I worked on my bar
routine this mourning and so far I have a 9.8 start value rountie but in
this afternoon practice we are going to play around with it to get it
out of a ten.I have a little downtime now so I wrote my parents back and
Im just sitting here listening to some music while Im organizing my
photo ablum.Right now its NElly's I am #1 on my CD player.I will write
back later as Arika coming in to hang out.
Love ATler
February 11
Dear diary,
Hey.:)I am third in the rankings :(but next week I can resume full
training :) so watch out everyone!!!I think Vada is coming back next week
so the dynamic duel will resume!
I cant wait to get started working my new rounties
atler :)
February 10
Dear diary,
Hey :)Sorry I didnt write that much this weekend I had alot of things
to do.Besides the RCA challenge on saturday I was sick and spent most of
my time in bed watching the Olympics and making up missed homework.I
bgot my last report card and somehow it turned out ok.I got a 98.85 and
with missing some assignments due to being away at meets that not too
bad.Brian called to see what I was up too and to say that hes joining
track at his school.Maybe he'll get as good as Griffen!:)
atler :)
February 8
Dear diary,
Hey.I just wanted to tell you that I got Sixth all-around and though
that is respectable knowing that I had fourth place going into the finals
and that I had a chance at a medal the feeling are mixed.Sixth place
did achieve my goal of making the top ten after competing in prelims but
I kind of thought I could do more than I did.I hung out with Marie a
little today and that was a treat as usual and talked a little more with
Lang and Im going to take her on the "offical topo tour"as I have been
accustom to doing to all the new comers,tomorrow!Also getting sixth
puts more pressure on me now going into the upcoming season as I have to
justify to my fans and critics that I deserve to be up there and that I
earned that spot.I have to do that by stepping on the mat each time and
giving it my all.I got alot of mail from fans that I have to get
cracking on but right now Im going to watch some Television and unwind!
Luv Atler :)
February 7
Dear Diary,
I had a good practice today despite the circumstances that my stomuch
was a little woozy and my wrist was throbbing.The RCA challenge starts
tomorrow and Im treating this meet as a testament to see if Im strong
enought to push through pain.Im not nervous as this is just another meet
that I have to overcome obstacles but I just dont want to disappoint or
embrass Topopolilly.I have to fill you in on school.YOu know how I
didnt do tutoring like 3 weeks up untill the Olympics and only did a little
work while I was there.Than after the olympics we had to train for the
new code and with my wrist I havent been able to do much but I have
tons of work now to make up and I am so loaded down with everything that I
never have anytime to hang out with my friends or call my parents or
write letters to my friends~~
Love Atler :)
wish me luch for the RCA challenge.EYE on THE tiger!!!!!
February 6
Dear Journal,
HEy :)What happened to me the another day was something out of the
ordinary.I got sick tuesday warming up for the winter classic meet but I
still competed anyway.I got back home this mourning and than trained for
the RCA challenge.Ranking update:As of Feb.4 I was number two and as of
Feb.5th I am......Third.I am such a loser.I can make all these excuses
that Im not training as much due to my wrist,and that Im not feeling
good but the fact is I dont think I dont think I have what it takes to
fullfil the # 1 spot and if Im going to Im going to have to be 100%
healthy to contend for that spot.Exciting news:Alyssa is # 6!i went to
practice in pain yesterday and hopefully I got though the meet ok and
hopefully I will be fine for the RCA challenge.I havent had a chance to hang
out with Morgan or Maddie or even Alie or anyone really lately .
Atler :)
My head hurts so I think Im going to go to bed.
February 4
Dear journal,
Hey :)I am really nervous about the warm-ups this mourning for the
winter classic as it will determine what rounties I will do the new or the
old ones.If I do the old ones to my capablity it would be like someone
doing a new one poorly and I think that will actually be safer for my
wrist and also I dont want to mess up my new olds and get a score like
4.0 as that would be humilating.
atler :)
February 3
Dear diary,
As of FEb.2nd I am #1.We are leaving today for the Winter Classic meet
at noob after some extra training.I am really nervous now going into
meets these year as I know Im not as prepared as I have been in the past
and I also have that each weight(pressure)in doing well and leading the
topopolilly team as I rarely held that position often in the past.I
think I might be able to start full training after the 16th.Im looking
forward to seeing how we do there as the reigning world and olympic
champions we as a team no matter whose on it have the pressure to do well.AS
soon as I get back from the winter classic on wednesday I leave the
next day for the RCA challenge.I dont know how my wrist will handle
that.Hopefully well.
Atler :)
February 1
Dear diary,
What a way to start out a month.Let me explain we are were on our way
to practice expecting a normal day and the coaches called us over and
than Coach Nick turned on a video and it was the president of the IFGA
saying that we are now the current title holders of " OLYMPIC
CHAMPIONS"!WE all started jumping up and down hugging each other but we held it in
when we realized we still had practice.There is going to be a ceremony
to present our medals to us soon and its hopefully not the only medal
topopolilly takes home!!!!!
Atler :) :) :) :)
January 31
Dear diary,
Im just writing to catch you up on some things as I have been very busy
lately with trying to come up with rounties for the new code.I have
decicded to come up with some new current rounties that I will just use
for alittle bit) filled with mostly skills I can already do) because I
have had no time to fool around with new skills.Im # 1 in the rankings
and LAra is back training now!I might be starting voice lessons soon as I
think just focusing on gymnastics all the time is driving me crazy and
the lessons would be schudule around my gymnastics so I wont be
abanding gymnastics.I also want to take acting lessons but Im going to try one
thing at a time.I forgot to tell you about the rest of the intersquad
on sunday and this being thursday you can tell how busy I have
been.After the first rotation I was 10th out of 11th and my pain in the neck
wrist was beginning to ache after popping in painkillers I headed to my
next event was bars and I was just hoping for the best which isnt!
usual for me to be hoping on my best event that I could just get
off.THere is no excuse for what happen when I hit my feet on my pak
salto,I just made a mistake I earned a 9.25 that even if I didnt hit my feet
my score wouldnt have been good anyway.I moved up though for a tie for
7th.I forgot about the pain when U heard the crowd chanting my name and
as I approached the beam I rolled my ankle around while waiting for the
judges and bit my lips and took a deep breath.It wasnt a great rountie
(9.575)but I fought though and put up the highest score of the night up
into this point.I looked up at the end of rotation third and found
myslef behind ALyssa and Marissa.I had nothing to lose on floor except
maybe the feeling of my wrist :) but forged ahead and with the crowd
clapping I manged a 9.75 and after I saw that score I smiled and sat down and
breath a sigh of relief.After waiting for the final rounties to end I
talked and joked with Kelly and Cameron and I was so busy talki!
ng I had no idea I won.After the meet we had an autograph ses!
sion in the gym for our fans and though my wrist was killing I signed
over one hundred signatures.I had alot of fun and I cant wait for the
next meet!
Atler :)
January 29
Dear diary,
As the nelly song says what does it take to be # 1?My answer to that
when I saw the rankings was pain pain pain.I won the intersquad but the
pain that follewed today was definatly not worth it.I made the Winter
classic meet but I have to go to practice.I will write more tomorrow time
permitting.
atler :)
January 28
Dear diary,
After sizing up the first two rounties in the meet yesterday it seems
so foolish to me one that one-I was even in the meet and secondly that I
competed the fhs double front which I have only been doing drills for
due to my sore wrist i have been unable to practice learning them
throughly so I dont know why I perform the fhs double front as its a vault I
didnt need because I already have two ten o vaults that I have been
performing longer.I was really embrassed that I fell on my rear end as
so many people were there and I was expected to contend for a spot on
the podium but I dont think the media knows how bad my wrist is hurting
as only you do I complained to journal about that.I got a 9.025 and for
never doing it before on the vault or really all together pulling it
around was really an amazing fete but if I hadnt it could have been a
dangerous thing.I will write about it later as the physical therapy area
is calling my name.
atler :)
January 27
Dear diary,
I have to tell you about last night as it was the best time outside of
gymnastics I have had in a long time.Well,during practice Alie and
kelly were allowed to leave for a little bit and help me do my hair.I
decided on an outfit last night as I have alot of time on my hands now that
I only practice once.I didnt want to go overboard with my outfit as I
wanted to blend in with the crowd and not stand out.I picked out these
plain pair of dark jeans from express and a sparkly shirt with a jean
jacket to go over it. I put a little glitter on my face but I deciced
against make-up.Brian's mom was early picking me up which was good as I
didnt want to wait any longer than I have too as I can finally leave the
doors of Topopolilly.Its not a date or anything so I had no need to be
nervous .Brian and I are just friends.We arrived at the game early and
I met some more of his friends and caught up with the ones who I
already knew.They asked me who I got to meet at the olympics and how I d!
id.It was so funny when at half-time the mascot walked around in the
stands and started dancing with people.His friends are amazing and they
always make me feel right at home with them.The only time I felt werid
and different was when some little girls came up to me and asked me for
my autograph.I signed them of course but I just wanted to die when eric
started treating me like a princess.:)I loved that!!!
Now to some new Imfo at the gym.Today we have an intersquad and the
announcement was that you should try to have new rounties by Feb.9 for
Topo classic which my goal is at that meet is to make top three if I can
get the rounties ready in time.Im really concerned about my wrist and if
its going to let me get the rounties started.Well I gotta go get ready
for the intersquad wish me luck.
Atler :)
January 26
Dear confident,
Training went really well today and Im progressing alittle more each
day in regards to what Im able to do in the gym.It does hurt to see
everyone learning the skills that I could be getting if my wrist was well
but Im not losing hope that I will be learning them real soon.I cant wait
until tonight when I go to the basketball game with Brian and his
friends.I cant wait until the afternoon practice is over Im nored and I need
company.
atler :)
January 25
Dear diary,
Oh my what a day.I made the RCA challenge team along with Sarah and
Rissa and as of Jan.24 2002 I am number 1 in the rankings.I was really
shocked to see that too.The meet isnt until Feb 8/9th and so I will have
more time to prepare my rounties but Im not sure what code this meetis
going to be judged under.Thats the question of the year right there.I
worked on alot of tumbling today in my private lesson with Lois and it
went really well and though after my wrist was a sore it was worth it
when I ALMOST got my round-off backhandspring double layout which I have
been working on for almost 5 months though not straight due to the
millions of rounties we had to do prior to the olympics.I really want to
workout full time again as than seeing my name under the 1st spot in the
ranking wont seem so exciting.Oh my gosh I almost forgot to tell you
that tomorrow Im going with Brian to his schools basketball game.Lois said
it was ok!!!!
Love Ya
Atler :)
January 24#2
Dear diary,
Im both upset and angry and its not because of some dumb gymnastics
result this time its because Im sick and tired of my friends getting hurt
and I cant controll it!
atler :)
January 24
Dear diary,
I need you to confide in today as I dont have anyone left.Vada just
announced that she was leaving the gym for a while because her back is
hurting too much.I woke up this mourning sensing that something bad was
going to happen and when I heard a knock on my door kelly came in and
said are you ok?I was like why what happened?She was like Vada is
leaving.Her back is hurt and she needs a break.I was a little angry at Vada as
she didnt tell me before hand and she tells me almost everything but
more than anything I was upset as i dont want her to go.I know shes
coming back but still.I dont know when shes leaving but hopefully it wont be
today.
atler :)
January 23
dear diary,
As of jan 22 I am # 2 and Im getting used to being in that position at
least until my wrist is better because when it is Beware.:)I realize
that Im not able to be on top because Im not allowed to work out as
much.We arrived home today after competing in the duel meet.I was really
excited when I saw the perfect ten come up and everyone else was so happy
also.The next meet is the RCA challenge which I hope to compete in but
its ok if Coach lois is going to give other people a chance to compete
as I have competed in a couple meets already this year.
Love atler
January 22
Dear diary,
As of Jan.20 I am # 2 once again.I also recieved the results of the
duel meet against springboard and though we didnt win as a team there is
alot of really exciting things that happened.Besides getting second in
the all-around I recieved my first perfect score on the last event
Vault.I only faulted on beam.Morgan and sarah also recieved a 10 on beam and
bars respectivly.On bars I got a 9.824,beam was an 8.696 and floor was
an 9.262.I will talk to you more about it later.
atler :)
January 21#2
Dear diary,
HEY.The duel meet is tomorrow and I cant wait to see if not training
more than once affects me in the long run.Im going to try to pump up my
team with a pep talk.
atler :)
January 21
Dear diary,
:)Hey.I was a little disappointed last night for the meeting to write
to you last night so Im going to tell you just the base of what happened
at the meeting last night.Well, my wrist is not ready to handle two-
three times a day training but the good news is that I can start learning
my new rounties and try to get them code ready.But I had to agree to
spend more time doing excerices with the trainers.Though I have been
going in there once a day the trainers think my wrist will recover quicker
if I start doing more so thats where im going to be when everyone else
is training!
Atler :)
January 20
Dear diary,
I am in a very nervous frame of mind today.No not for the duel meet
against springboard but rather what is going to occur after the meet
today.The meeting with Coach Lois,Docter and trainer.I think alot of what
happens in the meet today will determine whenever or not the
docters/trainers and Coach lois think Im ready or not.Im kind of hoping the
impression I give is a good one as I really want to train!!!We will see.
Love Atler :)
January 19
Dear diary,
As of Jan.18,2002 I am # 2 in the gym.Its interesting that I start out
alot of my entries that way.:)Along with the candian cup which is the
second meet in the Illuision invitional today I found out I would be
competing in yet another meet this week.This meet is a duel meet against
springboard.Marie,Sarah,Alyssa,Morgie(vault,beam) and cameron(UB,FX)are
also competing on the team!Im really excited for this meet as I havent
been to a meet with Cameron,and alie in a long time!The team for the
Canadian cup is Marie,Sarah,morgie and Amanda.I am truly going to miss
Shannon and marissa as I know they both are from Canada.Tomorrow I find
out if I can resume normal twice/three times a day training again and Im
worried that I wont be able to resume full training soon,and I wont be
able to keep up with everyone,or I wont get code ready in time for the
next big competition!!!!I really hope the docters and Coach let me
resume full training as I think I can handle it now.My biggest worry !
though is that when I get to resume full training again that I will be
so far behind and out of shape that coach Lois wont pay attention to me
and because of my rankings lately think Im slack and that will ruin
everything I worked so hard to be able to have.I tried applying more
pressure to my wrist today so I could see for myslef if I could take on more
training.Worries came though my head like What if I injury it more the
first time I go for full training,or what happens if I babied it too
much.Im going to go hang out with kelly and I think we're going to give
each other makeovers for fun!
Love Atler :)
January 17
Dear diary,
Today I am ranked # 2 and I am extremly pleased about that.I am having
a great day so far and though I only practiced once coach was impressed
in my rebound after I have been done these past couple of days!
Atler :)
January 16
Dear diary,
Oh what good new I have for you today!The second round of prelims are
up and I am currently in drumroll please......5th place out of @ 110
people but not all did all-around though more than half did and Im
really really excited but not overly because there are still alot of people
to compete yet.I got a 9.225 on vault nothing to huge but nothing to
awful.Bars was disappointing to say the least and I dont know if I
qualified yet to any event finals as my scores were consisent but none were
really good.I got a 9.45 on bars,a 9.675 on floor and a consisent 9.55
on beam!Total was 37.9 with the leader 38.175 totally catchable!I will
get back to you with more tomorrow~
Love Atler :)
January 15 #2
DEAR DIARY,
I wish everything was the way it used to be.Eva was here,the injured
list was shorter than the rankings and no one got hurt or lost someone or
had to overcome obstacles that prevented them from leaving here because
every person that walks through that door(of topopolilly)means so much
to the whole atmosphere!
Love Atler :)
January 15
Dear diary,
Im third in the rankings and for once that doesnt seem to matter to
me.I didnt qualify to the american cup and once again Im shocked to see
that I wasnt disappointed.I used my old rounties with the new code and I
didnt have the start values needed to win or even qualify if I wasnt
perfect so......here are my scores:8.975,8.95,8.6,and floor was the
highest out of everybody in day two 9.65.My total was 36.175.On a happier
note and in some ways its bad I was selected along with
Sarah,Marie,Morgan and Amanda to compete in the International invititional
competition.Its Jennies birthday today and I have a really good gift to give her
after tonights practice!
Atler :)
Lara is leaving due to her wrist and Im going to go say good-bye :(
January 14
Dear diary,
I miss my mom and dad so much expecially as I have alot more time on my
hands as the Olympics are over but not completly!I had little
oppurtunity to see my parents this past year but I am luckier than most elite
gymnasts as some dont see their parents more than twice a year.The reason
Im feeling homesick is now that the olympics are over I have nothing to
do except make up the homework I missed while I was at the olympics and
try to come up with new rounties for the new code.Your probably
thinking thats tons to do but with the wrist in poor condition I can do very
little of either of those.:) for not being able to do homework but :(I
want to learn new skills!Im cutting back on training to once a day and
find myslef eating alot more as I use food consuming as something to
fill my boring day with.Oh well.....Im going to bed as there is nothing
else to say
atler :)
January 13
Dear diary,
I went to church this mourning like usual as it gave me something to do
as I am waiting for the results for two meets,the american cup qualifer
and the Olympic games!I deciced to work a little on the new code of
point for beam and I was sort of discouraged at the fact that they werent
pushing more elements that follow but was happy about the artistic
factor as thats an important factor in gymnastics!Im finding bars to be
difficult as Im seeing that coming up with new skills isnt really
incourage and I am trying to stay away from the double layout dismount as its
so boring for me and as you know I have to do something that commands
my attention!
Love Atler :)
January 11
Dear diary,
Im so depressed, today I found myslef alone in the pizza shop eating a
huge slice of pizza and crying not caring what people thought of
me.Than after I went home to topo I looked at myslef in the mirror and than
got really sick.I dont know whats happening and why this happened but Im
still a little quesy but overall fine.Im having an olympic hang over
which entails wondering where im going to go from here because I
accomplished my goal of making the team but I dont know if this is true but its
just what the sports psychiatrist said and thats true.Im a lost soul.As
of Jan 9 I was # 1 again and as of Jan 10 Im # 2!Im bored and I dont
know what to do as the results are up and I think thats whats making me
go crazy!How can I have a hangover when really the journal though the
olympics has only taken its first steps!
ATler :)
January 9
Dear diary,
HEy :/.I am writing to you in a mixed mood as thats why my normal
smiley face is slated.I qualifed along with Sarah and marie to represent
Topopolilly in the American cup Qualifer!I really want to compete in the
american cup as its one of my many goals for this year!I am in an ok
mood because Im # 2 in the rankings as of Jan 8th and I need to kick it in
gear or Im going to fall to the bottom.Its not hard to do when there
are only 12 girls active in the gym!These people are on the injured
list:kelly,Caitlyn,lindsey,krista,morgie and arika.The gym is probably
deserted with the Olympic team being gone as well.The only people at topo
are Marie,Cameron,Ali,maddie,lara and kiki.I miss topo so much and we
are going to go home in a couple of days.I will write about the olympics
as soon as I get back journal!its going to be so much fun and Im going
to have to develop a million pictures!
Atler :)
January 7
Dear diary,
I dont know whats going to happen after the results of the olympics
come inch Lois says I should get surgery for my wrist but that will
require alot of time to heal and I dont think I can afford to take time
off.Expecially when I have to make my rounties code ready for some of the
competitions I want to be in this year.On second thought I am woren out
from this st year plus doing competitions,rounties and day in and day
out intense training without little or no rest and quite frankly I need a
break!I dont know though it all depends.
I got to go
atler
January 4
Dear diary,
As Of Jan.3.2002 I am number one and I proud of myslef for maintaining
that position thus far this year coming in first each of the following
days this year,Jan.3,Jan 2nd and Jan first!I have no idea what I have
to do once I get back home from this olympics but I do know that Im
going to be woren out!But right away we have to think up new rounties and
maybe go on some post olympic tours!The prelimary round is up for the
team and......WE got second behind International GTC who had an awesome
beam round.OUR team went in for a little each vault practice to try to
work more on our landings as that was our lowest scoring event as a
team!
I gotta go watch some of the other rounds!
Love Atler
January 3
Dear diary,
No news on the prelim and team final rounds at the olympics.Its hard to
know exactly what im thinking without knowing the results from the
prelimanary round as I dont know where Topo or myslef stands.I need someone
to talk to as Im sort of lost with myslef not knowing where to turn.My
teammates have been really supportive as we both know where each other
are coming from!Its hard what I should be thinking at this point,If I
did good of course I would be happy,If I did bad of course there would
be pain.Im going to see what the schdule is going to be for tomorrow.
Love Atler
December 31
Dear diary,
That is the last time Im going to be able to write that!I am here in
the olympic village about ready to go to my first podium training.Im
worried that Im going to make a mistake and than the judges will notice and
write me off as a non-Contender!I know I can contend for a medal.I just
have to believe!
Love Atler
December 30
Dear diary,
As I am writing this I glance over at krista sleeping snoring louder
than Big Foot's foot steping on a statue of fire crackers.I also noticed
the clock that changed for 3:15 in the mourning to 3:16.I am really
nervous,scarced and hopeful about the olympics.My goals are this-Like
always go four for four,Qualify to the all-around and hopefully from there
go top ten.Than more than anything I want to just qualify for bars.I
definatly want a team medal also and we can do it,I know we can!I will
write to you from the plane though I dont know what time we're leaving!
Love Atler :)
December 29 #2
Dear diary,
Today is the Olympic team VS the prep team and this will set the pace
for our quest for olympic gold.This meet is crucial to our success as
the Prelimanary round is less than a week away.First it was important to
the team because we need as much confidence as we can get because if we
can beat our own teammates ,than we can contend with the best in the
world because Topopolilly's gymnasts are so talented and they are at
world level.The line-up was going to be the same as it will be at the
games.Sarah,Amanda,Jennie and I worked all four events.Vada does both beam
and floor and Rissa Will do Vault and Bars.I was a little nervous as I
didnt know who we were performing against.My nerves didnt back down when
I saw who we were competing against.The team was Kiki,lara,krista, and
Marie doing all around.while Morgie did vault and floor and Maddie did
Bars and beam.The first Event didnt start out that easy(the first event
being beam)Jennie our lead off lady fall on a very difficult gi!
aner full twisting bhs.It doesnt matter how hard the skill a fall is
still 5 tenths.The pressure mounted when the score of ray came up
9.125.Amanda was up next and put together a nice rountie worth a 9.525.Sarah
went up and avoided a fall but had wobbles for a 9.4 and I did a little
less with the same wobbles and earned a 9.3.Vada had a clutch
performance only to stumble on her dismount.The prep team had some problems on
vault that left them three tenths behind.The olympic team got into a
huddle and did some chants to pump our selves up and we got ready to mount
the floor.We didnt disappoint.Sarah got us started with a perfectly
unique stuck rudi and a spunky rountie that earned a 9.6.Always a
entertaining her the next two Jennie Ray-9.3-had a few mistakes here and Vada
who got the crowd going with her solid first two passes but came to a
stop as her foot passed the line outta bounds and as her score of 9.575
came up the excitement still was cooking as the crowd started to c!
lap louder and louder at the beautiful rountie they had just !
seen.I will get back to you with more of the result later. The dinner
bell is ringing
Love Atler :)
December 29
Dear Journal,
I cant even tell you what tomorrow will bring.Im really nervous about
leaving tomorrow for the Olympics as I have no idea what exactly is
going to happen and what is in store for me can be both good or it could be
bad.I am more scared though as I dont want to disappoint everyone who
has helped me make this trip to the Olympics possible.My
parents,family,friends,Coach Terrain,Coach Lois,teammates,fans and supporters and
expecially Topopolilly as defending World Champions we are expected to
contend.I have to get ready for practice as the Olympic team is going to be
in a practice meet today against another squad and I have to make sure
I have everything packed!
Atler :)
December 28 #2
Dear diary,
Hey.Quick note~Coach Lois took all the girls out to dinner to celebrate
the Olympic teams departure tomorrow night/sunday mourning!I have to
pack tomorrow and I have no idea what to pack!
Love Atler
December 28
Dear diary,
This is really a bad way to start off the entry expecially when overall
I had a pretty good day.I am third in the rankings with 74 I think
points.This is really pathic and doesnt give me any points for my
confidence level and I could use more as Im going to the Olympics and it pays
not to be nervous.
I gotta go workout now I just wanted to tell you that piece of news!
Love Atler
December 27
Dear Journal,
:)Good mourning~Boy am I sore!I am writing to you while laying on my
bed with 20 bags of ice and I took about a million painkillers though Im
not complaining I cant wait to go to the big show.Wait thats not true I
can wait.I wish I had more time so this darn wrist can heal or so I can
be perfect on my rounties everytime.Time has ran out and Im getting
more nervous each passing day.Im really happy that the intense amount of
pressure hasnt gotten to me and my rounties are going great.The pressure
is actually making me work harder and Im glad for that.I think I can
contend for a medal if everything goes right.I really didnt want to say
that but everything is going so right now.I hope that didnt sound
cocky.I said that because I wanted to tell myslef of the faith that I have in
me because in the past I would never have thought I would be where I am
today!Today we worked on sticking dismounts because the medals usually
are occupied with the teams that had the least amount of mist!
akes and every step counts!
love atler :)
~Talent with doubt is not worth using~
December 26
Dear diary,
Christmas has come and gone and that means these are the final days
until the olympics,Four days until I offically become one with the whole
Olympic experience and only time will tell something I have worked a
good portion of my life for.This ONE competition can alter the rest of my
life.No pressure though :)LOL.
Today the olympic squad started on bars and we did three rounties
each.Than after I worked on some comanci releases as during the rounties
prior all of them I caught a little too close.Than Coach Lois had me go
up and do a rountie pretending it was the bar finals at the olympic
games (as thats where she invisions I will be).I took a deep breath and
started the rountie.It was awesome I tell you journal, that after it made
me sad that it wasnt the day of bar finals.Every handstand was dead on
and I didnt miss anything not even my comanci and I capped it off with
a stuck landing.My face showed no emotion until I saw Coach Lois
smiling and than it was over.She than told us to meet her on beam.I went and
got my waterbottle and got right on beam going though our beam
warm-up.Than Lois came over and told us all to do a cold rountie all at the
same time without warming anything up.We all started at the same time and
in the middle Coach Lois turned on heavy metal music but that didn!
t affect me at all as I was so focused on my rountie I didnt even
flich.I did have a little waver on the first part of the series as my 1st
bhs didnt have any flight but my layout and gianer bhs was solid!I took a
little step on my dismount.I didnt see anyone elses rountie but Coach
Lois had us come over and she said something like"Do you guys really
want the gold"?I guess the mentality of the group and the tension of
proving to everyone that you deserve to be on this team as taken a toll on
everyone but we all have forgotten we have to pull together to represent
topopolilly!
I got to go to bed.practice starts early tomorrow!
Love Atler
December 24
Dear diary,
Happy christmas eve!WE woke up really early to get back in time to get
to topopolilly for our mourning workout.On the way home I slept almost
the whole way but I woke up 30 minutes before we arrived so I could be
refreshed in time for practice.I w as really happy with how both
workouts went~I hit every pak salto which isnt out of the norm but I had
problems in the squad meet with that move.In between workouts I wrapped the
rest of my gifts and called my brother and parents.For the christmas
party I had on my head lights that light up as a headband AND there I
hooked a mini-angel!around my neck I put an ample amount of bells annd
necklace.Than I put about 4 pins on my long sleve green turtle neck.on
the both I had green pants that sparkled.on my feet i had socks that
light up and played christmas music when you moved.My slippers had Santa
snoring.I put ornaments all over and branchs so I resembled a tree!I am
in #2 as of December 23 as Irl I am at my aunts house and couldnt !
figure out how to get on!:)I have to get all ready for the party and
put some glitter on my face and in my hair!
Love Atler
December 21 #2
Dear Journal,:)
I just wanted to tell you that I am ranked number one as of December 20
and second and third are Morgie and Sarah.Morgie left the tour today to
home to her family for the holidays and she gave me my present before
she left!she got me this really nice leotard thats pink and has my
nickname smily on it!
Love Atler
December 21
Dear diary,
Day two of the tour!This mourning we work out at the Indy school of
gymnastics at 7:00 to 11pm and it was a really long and detailed
nitpicking of skills!I got a little angry at myslef as some of my skills werent
going as well as I wanted them to but I knew I had to let that go when
we perform later at the childrens hospital we're going to later.
~Im back from the hospital and I had so much fun with all the kids as
they were really nice and apprective of what we did for them.I loved
looking out into the audience and everyone was completly captured by what
we were doing and their eyes light up.One kid is particular caught my
eye, a tweleve year old kid name Mark who had eyes that sparkled and who
was so filled with life he always kept the nurses are his toes.He has
been in and out of the hospital since he was little with a really bad
heart and told me all about him playing baseball which is all he really
wants to do with his life,his fear of never having a girlfriend and
being able to go to parties and just be a normal teen.I got his address and
promised to write which I know I will keep as much as I can. I talked
to him about my fear of performing at the Olympics which at first I
wasnt sure If I should be pouring out my pathtic stories when it seems so
little compared to what hes going though but he was interested a!
bout how it feels to actually get to go to the olympic.Note to
myself:Send him something from the olympics!
After I talked to him for alittle while coach Lois came over and said
all the olympicians had to get stretched and ready to perform their
rounties!We all chose to wear one of the leotards we recieved form the IFGA
so we all matched!I chose bars as I need as muny chances as I can get
to perfect this rountie.I was really nervous as I didnt want to
disappoint any of this kids.I totally rocked my set ending it with a stuck
landing.I was a little disappointed that I thought why cant this happen
this way in meets but I got over it real fast.WE signed autographs for
everyone that wanted them (which was almost all of them)and gave them
presents as well.At 3:30 we left and I came back and took a long nap as I
needed it to recoperate from this mourning practice and to gain energy
for tonights as the olympic team is going with Lois and doing rountie
after rountie!It went fine but I longing to be with Coach Nick and
everyone who was working on new rounties as my beam rountie wont come t!
ogether.As soon as I got back to the hotal I called my Parents from my
cell phone and Went swimming with Cameron,Ali,krista and Amanda!Than I
went to bed!LUV ATler :)
December 19
Dear journal,
Hey! As Of the eighteenth of december I am ranked # 1.Tomorrow we leave
for our christmas trip to Indianapolis and I cant wait to get out of
this place.I love this place but every now and than I need to get out to
remain sane,Well as Sane as I can get!I dont know exactly what we are
doing on this trip or if we are going to workout alot and Im worried
that Im missing some valuable training time but I think I need the
mini-break.I have to take a Science test tomorrow on electromagnetic energy
and convection,conduction and radiation mambo jambo on the way to
Idianapolis and Im dreaded it as we are sopposed to be on a little Vacation
but oh well.I actually get to workout out more than once on sunday right
up to the Big show or depending on what Coach Lois thinks is
necessary.I Know I can be a contender for the gold for Bars and Vault if I do the
job Im capable of.My floor and beam are expressive but I just have to
control my tumbling passes more but they have improved drastically !
from nationals and even more from worlds!I HAve to work harder and I
hope my teammates.I cant believe I actually wrote that I could contend
for two medal let alone one.I just think that is too much confidence and
way too much pressure but I wanted to aim higher because I know Im
capable of better things than I have shown in the past.
Love Atler :)
December 17
Dear diary,
HEY!I am # 1 as of December 16th.Workout rocked today but beam was so
annoying as everytime I went to go do my series of bhs layout gianer bhs
, I couldnt make the last bhs a gianer because my layout wasnt going
straight.Talk about annoying when you have had that combo since you were
@ 10 years old!I have my last day of tutoring tomorrow and I cant wait
to see the reaction of my tutors face's when they see there giftS!!!
Love Atler
December 16
Dear diary,
Today in practice I hardly noticed the pain but after I knew it was
there.I wrapped some christmas presents with Krista And Jennie and Vada
while watching "its a wonderful life".For some reason I am really excited
this christmas because planning what Im going to give to everybody has
taken my mind off this darn wrist.I had to increase my amount of pills
to 4 a day and I think im going to need more as the pain is getting
worse now that Im putting on more pressure to it.Oh,well Im sick of
talking about it so Im going to get an apple and then Im going to retired and
watch some more TV.Im turning into a couch potato that wraps christmas
presents!
love
atler
December 15
Dear diary,
Today was a good day as i was allowesd to work on some drills for my
new"E"vault that coach lois wants us all to have.I already have two which
are my current ones and then new front handspring double front and it
went really well.My fear of getting kicked off the team is gone and now
im looking forward to getting prepared to lead the team at the
olympics.Coach lois said that I can place higher than I did at worlds(10th) and
our goal was made to make bar finals.My only concern at this point is
that Im not going to be prepared enough even though i have done these
rounties thousands upon thousands of time.My other concern is that I wont
be prepared enough for the new code and After the olympics Im going to
be jumping right into trying to perfect my new rounties which is going
to be fun and yes furstating!I have to go help Grandma Benni get some
dinner ready.
Love,
atler
"This worlds rough and you got to be tough"
December 14
Dear diary,
I feel alot better about where I stand because as of December 12th I am
number one in the rankings and I have gotten so much support from
everyone,Vada,lara,manda....etc.I have tried everything in my power to be
able to train again but no improvement is made.I made a desicion though
that even if I have to scream after every skill at the olympics I will
be there!I have to go get some treatment for my WRist bye!
atler :)
December 13
Dear diary,
I didnt get to resume full training today .I woke up really early today
to go to the docters for a check-up and the docter looked really
concerned and now Im worried that Coach Lois is going to replace me with
another gymnast.Wow was today an emotion day filled with an up and down
rollercoaster as I overheard Coach lois talking with the docter saying
that maybe I shouldnt even train at all.Does that mean she doesnt want me
to practice and go to the Olympics at all?Oh god please help me!I dont
think I can handle the stress right now.I had my last day of
school(tutoring)till after the olympics is over and I think its ironic that I get
to take off school to train more when really Im not able to training at
all.Im sopposed to be training for the olympics when there is a slight
chance that I wont be able to train at all!I am so depressed and I
really just want to throw in the towel.I dont want to let anyone down,i
dont want to let everyone down times that by 50000000....
Love Atler : mixed emotions
December 12
Dear Diary,
Hey.Today was a really good today because everything just felt right
and I did a wonderful bar rountie that Coach Lois is almost certain will
medal at the olympics but I doubt that!I am looking forward to tomorrow
when I can get started training fully again but I hope my wrist isnt a
weenie tomorrow. I am also looking forward to the upcoming pre-meets
and I should expect to see my scores escualating as I have improved
alittle bit everyday.I should be at perfection by now.LOL.I never thought
that I could actually medal at the olympic games as I was just hoping to
make the team but I have been really rocking my bars set and my vault
also and those normally get high scores and I really hope I can do that
at the olympic games!!!
I have to go talk to Lara and Rissa but first I need to join Krista for
some singing of christmas songs!!!
love atler :)
December 11 #2
Dear diary,
oh,I forgot to say that today is the two month anniversairy of the
"attack on America"!
December 11
Dear diary,
Hey.I got the go head for thursday to resume training which is good but
quite frankly I think it might be too soon.Then again the olympics are
forthcoming and I have to step up to fullfill my role on the team
whatever that may be.Which leads me to another thing.Rankings were updated
and I was # 2 two and the problem with that is that I am not working to
my potential and its a shame that I needed this second place and
competition to get me going again(Im not saying that I never have
competition).I got the IFGA magazine and it had little news about the upcoming
olympic but I assume it will be jam-packed with pre-olympic hype in the
next one!Coach said Im a contender as I placed in the top ten and she has
seen how much I improved since than. I went to the mall with Vada and I
bought out the whole store as it has been forever since I last stepped
inside a mall and I did a little christmas shopping!
atler :)
December 10
Dear diary
Nothing is new today.Training was so so.it was neither bad or super and
there is no improvements in my wrist.:(I have to go to bed though
tomorrow I am going to the mall with maddie to pick up some clothes for the
dance shes going to.Sorry for the poor english but Im really tired!!
atler
December 8 #2
Dear diary,
My parents are going back tomorrow as my mom still has movie stuff to
wrap up and they also have loads of christmas shopping to do which
reminds me I have to get started on that.Any ideas journal????????We're
going out to breakfast and then I have to say good-bye.its so hard saying
good bye to them and I wish more than anything that they lived here but
its just not possible!My brother and I played some games tonight in the
rec room and alie,krista and vada joined us!
December 8
Dear diary,
Yesterday was a really long and tough day and that was only because I
couldnt train due to the intense amount of pain in my wrist.I went into
practice ready to train like always as I have to prepare for the
upcoming olympics and I didnt even have not training in my mind but Coach
Lois took one look at me and took me to the trainer and told me that I was
going to the docters and I wont be practicing at all!I went to the gym
after my therapy and rode the stationary bike though my floor rountie
and it was hard watching everyone practice and having to just sit
there!Today I was allowed to practice only after I got back from the docters
office which Lois took me too!We did alot of tests and the outcome
doesnt look too favoring.I came back and got set to train worried that Lois
wont let me but she got right on me telling me to go higher and stop
favoring my wrist.Thats good as I hate being babied when Im
training.EVeryone has injuries at one time or another and at this level you jus!
t have to deal.Im going to have a snack Im out of energy for that tough
workout~
atler
December 5
Dear diary,
Hey. Sorry I didnt write yesterday there was a million things to do
around here and training isnt the half of it!Yesterday I had only one
practice( but boy was it tough) as I had a fun-filled day making up tons of
work from tutoring after missing alot preparing for trials and for
worlds!I have made it almost all up now I am going ahead as im going to be
out training for the olympics and the olympic games though if there is
some downtime during the games I will do this really annoying critical
lens essay!We heared from Moranda and her sister got into a fatal car
accident and they arent really sure shes going to make it!Vaulting was a
bit of a problem today which is understanding as both of them are out
of a ten(double twisting tsuk and 2 1/2 twisting yerchenko)but I havent
had these problems in forever and I think they are just nerves!I
wondered alot about how Eva's doing at her new gym and if Cats knee is doing
better!I almost forgot the rankings were updated and Morgan is on !
top and I am so proud of that girl and I am # 2 and Im afraid that Im
going to drop alittle more due to only one workout yesterday.(IRL-I had
a cheerleading game an hour and a half away and we didnt get back until
almost 11 and I only did a required workout).Amanda is # 3 and Jennie
is 4#5 is Sarah and 6th is krista!!!!!Vada is 7th~more updates included
Muchkin at 12 and Nooners at 13!I gotta go talk to alie and morgie and
vada and maddie and sarah and you know everybody!!!
Love and kisses
atler :)
December 3
Dear diary,
The first update of the ranking since before trials founds myslef and
Jennie and Sarah amoung the top three but Im afraid that its only out of
15 gymnasts with a couple gymnasts leaving now because of
injury(Cat)and to try to refind their love for the sport(Eva).Everyone's upset about
Eva but exspecially Rissa since they have grown really close since
Rissa first came here and the mood here is mixed with somber and
excitement!Morgan has risen to the number four postion and Vada is 5th~Oh before
I forget Alie is now an offical member of topopolilly and since EVa is
gone(gosh,it stings to write that)Alyssa is going to stay with
Vada.Shes in my training group and I hope that it can be just like old times
again!Something feels so werid as cameron is number 14th and I really
hope shes not thinking about leaving.6th is krista and I hear she was
leaving though she hasnt talked to me directly about that so we will
see.7th AND 8th is amanda and rissa and Im glad they are holding their p!
ositions!:)I dont know what to say journal this gym is not what it used
to be!Im sorry I dont want to get you wet journal so Im going to have
to stop!
atler
December 2
Dear diary,
Hey.A sad day in the gym today.Eva and Cat are leaving and Lara is
undecided and its going to be really tough seeing them all go even if for
all its temperaly.Nothing new happened today,I went to church with my
parents and trained and talked to Eva and Cat alot and I know how hard my
heart is going to sting without those two!Tears are flowing and I have
no one to turn too.i dont want to brother krista as shes still really
upset about not making the team and shes not in the room!I need someone
to talk to.I called some of my friends from home but no one is
answering!
atler :0
December 1 #2
Dear Diary,
Oh my gosh,I am writing to you as a member of the 2001 TOPOPOLILLY
OLYMPIC TEAM MEMBER!THIS IS THE FIRST ENTRY INTO MY NEW JOURNAL THAT WILL
DICTATE MY PATH LEADING UP TO THE BIG O AND WHAT OCCURS WHILE IM
THERE!Hopefully what I write will be good!The team will be along with myslef
is Jennie Ray,Amanda Williams,Sarah Torrence,Marissa(V,UB)and Vada(bb
and fx)and the alternate is Arika!Oh my gosh again I am an Olympician and
the feeling of this is something I can not explain!The reaction to each
of us were all different in there our way!Jennie,vada and I just cried
really hard almost uncontrollably and manda,sarah and rissa were so
happy grinning from ear to ear and we all screamed and jumped up and
down!My parents were so proud!Im leaving to go out dinner with my mom and
dad and brother and later on our family and friends are joining us I cant
talk anymore Im too excited!Im going to go celebrate and maybe have a
piece of cake!!!!!
December 1
Dear diary,
My parents are coming over tonight as the team is going to be announced
and I am so nervous I cant even breath.Some people are either going to
reach Mount Olympics or going to go to heartbreak hotel and I hope more
than anything I wont have to cried tears of pain tonight even though I
will as even if I make the team there will be sixteen girls that have
worked hard and that wont get a chance to go to the event of their
dreams!I have to go Vada needs to talk to me and I think I hear parents and
siblings coming to gather here!I think there going to tell us gymasts
first and then we tell our parents though Im not sure!
Next time I write you will know!
November 30
Dear diary,
Hey!We are going to do a gift exchange between all the girls and i
think we should all chip in and buy something for coach lois!How about a
free week vacation used anytime that the gym could be closed so she
doesnt have to hear that people were complaining when she was gone.Just
kidding!!!I needed some time away and Lois said that I could hang out with
my parents as they are still in town waiting the scores though mom
needs to return soon to get back to the movie before the movie breaks again
for christmns and because of me that actress and actors have to work up
until christmas eve day!!!I feel guilty but all the actors and actress
are pulling for me to make this team and I hope I dont
disappointment!My parents and my brother matt(I forgot to metion that he came down the
day that actual trials were sopposed to be than left then came back
after the second rotation was completed)and I went to this place to get
our christmas pictures done and then we went to the mall and got a c!
ouple little things after all christmas is coming up but since my mom
and dad dont get to see me that often (Im 13 and away from home and im
the baby)they tend to spoil me rotten when i see them!My brother and I
went off and looked for something that we could get our parents!We're
thinking off....thats exactly it!I missed my brother so much and he told
me how college was going and everything and I might get to go visit him
soon that is if mom and dad agree!
I have to go get something to drink!
Love atler
November 28
Dear diary,
I was so nervous today all of a sudden as I havent been throughout this
whole trial thing!My mind is as mixed up as a mcflurry!Im nervous about
the fourth and final rotation and I have a really funny feeling in my
stomuch.I watched some of the olympics from last early during breaks and
I started to burst into tears and than krista came in and I stopped.I
didnt want her to see me cry if though she has seen me a hundred times
before, I was crying because what if I dont make it.That feeling is the
worse feeling in the world.Enough to make me puke and I hate to puke!I
am waiting for the results even though im not 100% that they are going
to be up!
atler :)
November 27
Dear diary,
No more news on the trial!For breakfast today I had cheerios,milk and a
banana that was sliced into my cearal!For lunch I eat sort of a
dinner(humburger,salad, as I was really hungry after dance and for dinner I
had oatmeal and hot chocalate as it was really cold here in the gym!I
dont think Grandma Benni has turned on the heater system yet!
~ as I was writing earlier I heard some shrieks from the rec room!The
third rotation was put up and I found myslef at the number two spot
again and I just hope I can maintain or capitalize on this position!Marissa
is number 1,Jennie is # 3,Sarah is # 4,vada has fallen to 5th but I
know that she is going to improve on that~(hopefully)On the bubble is
6th-Manda,7th is Eva,8th is arika,9th is krista and 10th is maddie!11th is
cat and 12th is cameron though never count her out even at this spot!I
gotta go call my parents at the hotal and I hope that they are there!
love Atler
November 25 #2
Dear journal,
HEY :)Apart from the trial standings being updated I went to the
grocery store with Grandma Benni to pick out something that shes can cook for
dinner tonight.She even let me pick out a new treat!I didnt do as much
tumbling today as my wrist was still hurting but even though i didnt do
the number # of reps as Im used to the ones I did do I tried to do them
as best as I can!Im looking forward to working on my new rounties!
atler :)
November 26
Dear diary,
Lois is back after being gone on some family business and she decicded
on a new method on picking the teams which will be done by rankings
over four time span dividing each date into rotations.The four roatations
are the dates of Nov 11th-14th,second rotation will be from the dates
of november 11th- though the 18th,the third round will be from november
11th though the 22 and the last one is when the final olympic team will
be from Nov 11th though november 27!As of the first rotation has VADA
in the # 1 NUMERO UNO-spot and do you want to know who the second spot
holder is? ME~I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD LIKE NORMAL BUT I
JUST DIDNT EXPECT TO BE THAT HIGH UP IN THE STANDING WITH EVERYBODY DOING
SO WELL and in the second round I only secured myslef with a #1 in the
rankings where once again Vada and I were 1,2.We are doing it Vada-#2
keep it up!I KNOW PEOPLE DONT LIKE IT WHEN YOU LIST THE RANKINGS IN YOUR
JOURNAL BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW who IS MOVING WHERE AND TO NOTE TH!
IS DOWN!SARAH IS # 3 AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY TO HER IS BY IGNORING
EVERYONES COMMENTS OR PROHAPS MY BEING SO DETERMINED TO PROVE THEM WRONG AND
BY IN THE SECOND ROUND GETTING 5TH IS SHOWING EVERYONE THAT YOU ARE
SERIOUS AND THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO BE LISTED on the olympic team
roster!third in rotation two is Marissa while in round one she was
7th.Jennie was 4th in round one- 6th in rotation #2.
Im going to continue but listing the names and then putting both their
1st and second spots!1st number is round 1,second # is round two
amanda-5th and then 4th
6th and 9th krista
lara-8th,10th
9th and 7th Eva
arika-1oth,8th
noon-11th,13
linz-12,16
cat-13,12
britt-14,14
alie-15,17
morgie-16th,18th
marie 17,15
maddie-18,11
kiki-19,19
round two has two new people that werent in round one
kelly-20
allison-21
November 23
Dear diary,
It hard to say exactly how Im feeling as the results arent up yet but
nevertheless Im worried!Not about if I made the team or not or if I
landed my triple twist that gave me problems at nationals but more so if I
or the whole people of topo is going to have a trials at all!The reason
were worried is for the past week week and a half no one has gotten any
word from coach lois and we are quite worried as the roster is due to
the IFGA tonight at the latest and we're worried that we wont even get a
team in team!There is a chance that Coach LOis will announce it tonight
as thats when she usually updates things or she already sent in a team
to the IFGA but as we all havent heard from her we have no idea whats
going on!
Sleepless at topo
Atler :(
November 22
dear diary,
Happy turkey day!My parents are coming soon to pick me up so I wont
have time to write that much!I had an excellant workout this mourning and
all I can do is pray for tomorrow and I wont get on the Olympic team
because of lack of preparation and consisently in workouts!I can do
this!I will write tonight maybe when I get back if theres time!
Love Atler
tomorrow is the day of all days!
November 21
Dear diary,
I did a lot of rounties today and I just hope to god that that will be
enough to get me to the big one!I have to go now !
atler
November 19
Dear diary,
MY parents have arrived at about 7:00 tonight and I cant wait to see
him!Today was an ok but of course knowing my luck or lack of luck a
problem has arisen!My wrist is really really swollen and painful but i didnt
stop practicing at all and there is no time left to spend babying it so
its totally full steam ahead for trials!I hurt it this mourning when I
was doing a comanci and I landed to close to the bar and sort of jerked
my wrist and then I went up into a handstand and it felt unstable and
wobbly and all of a sudden I heard a thunk and I landed down on the
floor with my wrist in a werid position.I went to the trainer for a half an
hour and resumed practice with a nice solid bar rountie!It could have
been alot worse though and I wish that things could finally get my
way!Wait,I think someone is knocking on my door and since Krista is on the
phone with Griffen I must get it!
November 18
Dear diary,
I have been looking forward to these trials since missing the last ones
and its funny the only think that I want to do is get them over with.
Its funny today in practice all I was doing was going though the motions
demanding perfection thoughout the whole time but rarely smiley!Me
whose nickname in the gym is smiley is so close to finally getting her long
time dream and not fully enjoying the journey there!Half of the
destination is the journey!!!!!!Im going to see what my teammates are up too
then write back my family!
love atler :0
November 17 #2
Dear diary,
You will never guess what happened tonight after ptactice!Well, during
practice coach lois had a list three miles long about what we had to
work on.I did like 50 of each vault and did about 20 rounties on the
remaining three events!Then after everyone went to go take a shower and get
all the sweat off and most were plainly on going to bed right after as
this workout was rather tiring!Instead Grandma Benni left a note for
each of us on our beds and it said "Meet outside by the car in a half an
hour tops with presentable clothes"!confused we all got into normal
clothes and went outside!The suprise was that Coach Lois and Grandma Benni
were taking us all out to eat but first we were going to get a
perfessional message!It was incredible and Im sure I wont have problems with my
darn back for a really long time!Thanks you so much Coach Loia AND
Benni who guys are the greatest!I think they did it because they noticed
how hard we have all been working!
Im going to bed now even though having a "night out" was so much
fun!(even though its only 9:15 thats quiet late for a elite gymnast preparing
for trials!
love Atler :)
November 17
Dear diary,
Now less then a week to go and practice was absolutly incredible this
mourning though it was really tough and really tense!Rissa's sisters
arrived here today and I got to know them all a little bit in between
practices and they are all so nice.One of them is going to the olympics
also!The mood of my family members are a bit nerve racking as they all
know the hard ships that come from not making an olympic team can cause
as they have all learned first hard when my cousin Vanessa failed to
make the 2000 olympics.
more about this later
love Atler
November 16
Dear diary,
Nothing new except that maddie is back and I spent alot of time with
her today catching up though her knee isnt fully recovered she looks in
excellant shape and her spirit is uplifting! Tomorrow is going to be
focused on alot more workouts so today I didnt go to dance.Instead I did
my homework so instead of doing homework on sunday I can practice more!I
cant wait untill trials begin and I get so see my family!My mom called
me today and told me that the leotard that I designed is almost
finished getting made!I will describe it later but right now Im going to bed.
Yes I know its only 9:30 but tomorrow is the big day!No not trials but
the tense preparation!
atler :)
November 14
Dear diary,
HEY :)!Today I feel alot better but didnt do as many rounties because I
dont want to wear myslef out before trials!My parents and relatives are
all coming up for thanksgiving and our whole family is renting this
house out an hour or more away from the gym so that I can go back to the
gym after the celebration is over!Wow,My family is truly amazing!I will
talk to you tomorrow i have alot to do before tomorrows practice!
love smiley!:)
November 13
Dear diary,
Im not feeling well today and I took the afternoon practice off at
Coach Lois's request though I really wanted to practice. Im sort of glad I
didnt has I feel alot better now! Last night I was realy dizzy and woke
up this mourning with a really bad headache!Im ready for tomorrows
pracitice and it cant come soon enough!
Love Smiley!:)
November 12
Dear diary,
Thanksgiving is coming up but there will be no Apple pies or turkey
with all the trimmings or my family or friends or.......Yes,I will be with
my second family Topopolilly people but I havent seen most of my family
since Nationals and even then I only got to see them for a few hours
but I should be grateful as I see my parents alot more than most elite
gymnasts do.Its just I love them so much and when I was an elite when I
was younger I was able to train and see my parents as I lived at home. I
dont know if anyone else is going home but I think alot of people are
staying here as the trials are coming up.Today everyone got off for
Vetrens day but I have a math test tomorrow and had to go to tutoring and
do some math problems to prepare!I think Im going to do good as I
already did something similar to this last year though its added on from last
year!My brother called me last night to see how I was doing and I
started to cry because I missed him so much!I have to go read some bo!
ok for english "october sky".
Love
Atler :)
November 11
Dear diary,
HEY :)Today was a very mellow day but when you hear that dont think I
was lazy in fact it was just that opposite today but I did allow myslef
some down time to write letters and listen to music but I had to run to
the gym shop and get some batteries as I listen to alot of cds on my
walkman today when Krista was napping And snoring!I did have some trouble
today in mourning workout on my rufolva combination on beam because I
kept on landing over to the side alittle but all in all a great
practice!I have to go get ready for dance class so talk to you later
atler :)
November 10
dear diary,
What is going on I am now number three and the only word to describe
how im feeling is disgusted beyond words!I am sinking lower and lower
into nothingness and If I get any lower I dont know what Im going to do!I
am writing this before breakfast and I will get back to you on the
rest of the rankings later but the only thing I know is that I am not on
top anymore and I know for a fact that I dont like it one bit!I know
that this is heading towards a really bad day but I know that mopping
around will do nothing for me and I have no time to seat with trials 18
days away
Love Smily :)
November 9 #2
Dear condfident and keeper of all deams,hopes and worries,
I forgot to give u the update version of the rankings as i think im
going to do that everytime with trials coming up because it will help me
know where everyone deserves to stand prior to the last update though
anything can happen between the last update though!
#1 Eva-ur great!
# 2- moi
#3- Rissa roo roo
# 4-Sarah-nothing can keep you down girl :)
#5 Amanda-so proud of you
# 6-Arika-you have to believe your good and kep going 20 more days
# 7-krista- hope your feeling better as I was really concerned about
you!nurse smily to the rescue!
#8 Vada-We have less than 20 days till trials(someone please tell me
how many days?) and we have had many months of dreams and hard work put
into this and I know we can do this together!
#9-cameron-i am amazed at you time and time again every day you come to
the gym and work hard and you are one of my role models not just in the
gym but in life as your care-free attitude gives me chills.I also
admired through your uncles death your determination as you dont have to be
here during this bad time.
10- our national champ on the raise!you got this goal and your going to
achieve it.
11-Cat- keep working hon and believe that you can do it!lok how well
you did at worlds and look to the big O!
12-linz say hi to susan saranden for me!lol
13-lara
14- marie:)
15-morgie-hold our head high because your a champion!
16-Alie-Hey girl
17-Kiki-
18-britt
19-alison
You know what vada says "work hard achieve more" and as trials are
coming closer and closer these words should be on everyones mind because if
you guys dont believe in yourslef then if you waste our talent and
worktime and trials comes and the team is selected its a question of did I
work to my potential.
love smiley
atler :)
November 9
dear journal,
Im no longer then at the top spot in the rankings as I have fallen to #
2 again.Im a little worried that Coach Lois will think that I am slaken
off just because I think i have the number one spot locked up but
really I try my hardest everyday in the gym and I hope she see what a hard
worker I am!I have a bunch of questions that have been going thogh my
head ever since I saw my name under the number two spot,1st Im so mad at
myslef but also want will happen if I get towards the numbers like 4th
or 6th or even 7th?I expect alot out of myslef and I will be devasted
if my name keeps slipping!I have to go to the docters for a recheck on
my back!
talk to you later
atler (smily,right Eva and Vada)
November 8
Dear diary,
No more muscle tension and Coach Lois just said that overworks was the
cause!No updates again today and I hope lois is ok!krista is sick so I
have also been busy being her surrogate mother making her soap and
providing her entertainment!Wasnt my singing broadway material?Im going to
chill with Amanda,Lara and Arika as they are all going though a slump
and its my job to be a great friend!
atler :)
November 6
Dear Journal,
No updates and no announcement about the Anne of Gables meet and I have
to be honest Im not really into competing in this meet as I want to
compete in the international team competition and I dont want to wear
myslef out before trials!I did all my homework by afternoon practice and
even dd some extra math and that left me with nothing too do!Things are
normal around here and I dont know how many days are left until trials
so i cant write about that.I think its less than 20 and I noticed that
Jennie hasnt been talking to me lately!I wonder if shes mad at me for
some reason.
love Atler :0
November 5
dear diary,
Today I had an awesome practice and recieved a letter from little
Jilly!I have been working rounties for weeks as I want to make sure that
number one they are the best they can be and # 2 they are consisent!I
really want an Olympic spot and I dont know what Im going to do if I dont
make the team!I put so much for so long into this Olympic games and I
know in my heart and mind that I have what is takes as I have overcome
so much!I eat healty usually but today I had lemonade instead of water
water water!I have to go now and talk to some peeps!
love Atler :)
November 4
Hey,
As of Saturday,November 3rd Im 1st and I feel AWESOME SO AWESOME.I
didnt do beam today as Lois thought I deserved a break but I went full
steam on tumbling.Taking extra caution by icing everything at the slightest
pain right up though trials!The rankings look like this
2nd- Riss-doing awesome and your injury is not keep you down, Awesome!
3rd- Sara
4th-lara
5th-amanda-your back
6th-Arika
7th-krista
8th-Eva
9th-Cat
10th-Cameroon
The top ten hasnt really changed the last couple times it has been
updated i think all but rissa (i could be wrong though so sorry if i say
inarracute info)has changed the top ten!Just outside the top ten is my
sidekick VAdie!with Marie,Britt,Jennie and Morgie going 12th-15th
respectivly. Rounding out the top 20 are as followings:Alie,kiki,alison
james,linz and danielle and the list of injured are currently moranda with a
pulled hamstring-should be back by tomorrow though,MAddie with a
sprained knee-due back Nov 15 and Kellu with her collerbone till December 1st
and I miss her so much!
November 3
Dear Journal,
HEY:)Is this me?I feel so great today as I did all my tumbling and all
my rounties were awesome!I even did some extra dance and some different
tumbling passes.Little Jilly is coming here for a think a month and I
cant wait as she is the little sister I never had.She is so adorable!I
did some extra homework tonight as tutoring hours as been cut down to
only two hours.Alie invited me,lara,Krista,Eva and Vada I think to the
amusment park but im afraid that i wont be able to go but I asked lois
anyway!
atler :)
November 1
dear journal,
Hey.Just another day filled with yet another horrible practice.I got
yelled at by coach Lois because I was hesitating my pirouette movements.I
also wasnt working up to my potential and at this point with my
"sickness"I am running away from my dream and more than anything I have given
up hope.I havent told anyone this as I dont want to put the attention
on me and with the trials coming up I dont want anyone to be worried
about me.THe thing is no one not even the coaches or my teammates or my
parents know how bad I am feeling.I went to the training room alot today
as my back,muscles were sore!I am yes going to bed now
atler
No Smiles today unless the pain goes away.:/
October 31
Dear deary,
Happy HALLOWEEN AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADDIE!Unfortunatly the day didnt
included trick or treating or candy:( and was filled with fustraition as
I had a horrible practice!IRL-The USA woman finished 3rd behind Russia
and Romania and the man got 2nd behind belarus!I am tired and unable to
focus.
Good night :/
Atler
October 30
Dear journal,
Hey.Tomorrow is Halloween though I and most of the other girls wont be
going trick or treating and their is no one out here to hand out candy
as we are isolated!Being Isolated as given me the oppurtunity to think
about the past couple months and the weeks coming up but mostly about
whats going on with my body.Its betraying me at the wrong time.I have
been to the gym everyday for months and months on end,day in and day out
and have had my good and my bad days with the rest of the girls.I have
been though disappoints(NAtionals)abd joys(worlds).But mostly negatives
have come from Worlds and nationals because i came so prepared to both
meets and faultered!Something that I have constantly on my mind is the
possiblity of not making the team!I am in so much pain and for the
first time in my mind the thought of stopping came to my mind as I dont
know if tomorrow I will wake up and not be able to walk much less tumble.I
dont want to impose my problems on all the rest of the girls so Im!
just going to act like everything is ok!:0
Im going to the rec room to see what everyone else is doing!
Love Atler :0
Why is it that when you want something so bad the oppostite happens and
you blame yourslef?
October 29
Dear journal,
Hey.As of sunday I am first in the rankings though i didnt get selected
to compete in any of the two meets that were announced :(.I think that
its because I just got back from the fall fest meet and they dont want
to overcompeted us since the trials are coming up.I recieved alot of
letters from my friends and family but I had to wait untill after my ten
tons of homework was done.My muscles were very tense again today but I
was really tight on beam and my bars flowed like never before so it
didnt damper any of my skills tonight.Coach is getting me an appointment
with the docters a week and a half before trials and until then Im not
going to tell my parents whats going on!Good or Bad Idea????If Coach
Lois thought it was a problem she would have told my parents so.....All my
friends and family dont really get what training for the olympics take
and they have been asking for me to come and do this and that and sure
I miss out on alot of things I know its worth it.The trials is the!
next step .I have to go get something to drink
atler :0
October 28 #2
Dear journal :)
Hey!I just got back from a squad workout where everyone is the lilly
squad went into the gym and we all did rounties for each other in
preparation for our next squad meet.I also gave everyone a prep talk and then
I stayed behind and did some dance as my dance as been in the back of
my floor rountie because I am always worried about my tumbling so i just
went to the floor and did some beam and floor dance thoughs and some
dance jumps.Maddie is injured but hopefully will be back before trials.I
had a really great workout tonight before the squad one but since i did
the meet workout with all the girls in the fall fest meet i am a little
tired tonight.
love you lots
atler :)
October 28
Hey Journal,
AS of sat I am number 1!But nothing can make me feel good after our
disappointing meet at the fall fest meet yesterday.Our team was unprepared
and wasnt ready for this meet but we still went in there as World
Champions and that made everyone confident that we WILL win.Unfortunatly and
fortunatly in some ways getting 9th out of 11th in prelims was a huge
eye opener to us because it got everyone back to reality.Everyones
attitude lately has been that we will just go into every meet and win just
because we are world champions and that is not the case.We are going to
have to work harder because we have to prove again and again that we
deserve to be that best.I will post a message i posted later as you need
to read where im coming from!
Love atler
ps.I qualified to vault finals!
October 27
Hey Journal,
AS Of friday I am # 1!I dont have anything to say as today went pretty
normal!
love Atler
october 26 #2
dear diary,
Hey.Today was an ok day as I had a stomuchache that could have affected
my workout terribly by not going for everything but I went and gave
100% and though bars and floor was a little rough it still turned out for
the best.I almost didnt go but then I was thinking only.Grandma Benni
is taking Jennie,Vada and I on a ride tonight as she sees that we all
our going though alot lately and need a break!I really appriciate
everything that she does for all of us like some days I will find a little
something like a note or stickers or something after a bad day.She really
is the best.I am just writing for a quick minute well Vada finshes up
and then we are going for a ride.
bye for now
atler :)
october 26,2001
Dear diary,
Hey.I worked on alot of new skills today trying really hard to put some
kind of rountie together. I had alot of time to do homework today as I
finished practice early because I was all buissiness today after
getting fourth in the ranking yesterday. Im not going to let that happen
again.I felt alot better about my tumbling and my dance felt awesome from
Dance class yesterday but now I have to go talk to alie and Eva.
Bye for now
atler
October 25
Dear journal,
Hey!I dont know if I told you this yesterday but as of OCtober 23,2001
Im number 1 in the rankings again.I want to wish Morgie a Happy
birthday girl!!Oh,Speaking of birthdays,you know Moranda's was yesterday.I was
planning on giving Moranda her gift after I was done with my homework
as I had some extra time after. Then it happened again!I fell
asleep.Then today when I was doing some dance elements in the dance section and
My legs just gave out.Cameron was there and she helped me up and asked
me if I was ok and I said yes but really I was worried.WHATS GOING ON
WITH ME?WHatever is going on I hope it will be found at the docters so
that i can stop having all these funny feelings.the girls think its mono
but I hope not as you can be out for months with that!I have @31 days
and Im getting really time a thousand nervous now that its right around
the corner.tonights practice suffered again and coach just had me do
rounties but I gave them my all.Im going to talk to some peeps and th!
en going to bed.
love atler :)
October 23
Dear Diary,
Hey.The all-around final is in and...... no medal :(I got 10th out of
35 in finals and there is only disappointment about my meet(rountie
wise-About my self I learned alot).The result of the meet was a gift from
god as I did really poorly and shouldnt have even deserved a place among
those athletes.I did( as Sarah reminded me) get the highest floor
score,9.775 but that was the only highlight of the night as I was an
embrassment to topopolilly and to myslef.I was on floor first and hit my
rountie and found myslef right in the mix at one point even leading.It didnt
last long as my next even was vault and I started with my 2 1/2
twisting yercheko(one of the more difficult vaults being done)and took a hop
on the landing ,then I did my kind of new double twisting tsuk and went
flying and fell to my knees.I walked away with my head helded high and
I knew that was something completly different then other meets in the
past as I normally would have went into a chair and cryed instead I!
looked to Lois for some advice and got my grips on and started doing
drills for bars.As I was warming up for the corner of my eyes I saw cat
on beam doing an incredible rountie scoring a 9.8.I then went to bars
and plainly as day fell apart.I fell of on my back uprise to full
piroeuette of all things and the journey down to the mat below seemed like a
million years and the score was a 8.975.As I prepared to mount the
Balance beam the realization came that I was going to medal but I didnt
give up.I fought though all the rounties which included a almost new fall
on my full twisting bhs.My score was a 8.75 and I can honestly can say
that I am proud of myslef because I never give up!Moranda's birthday is
tomorrow but I will tell you what I got her tomorrow because its 5:50
and I want to go watch the Pop Vs.opilly squad duel!!!!!!!!
Love Atler
-32 more day till the trial of my life!!!:) :)
October 22
Dear diary,
Hey.I am back to # 1 in the rankings today and I cant believe it.Well,I
have been working extremly hard but by the looks of it so has everybodt
else.Lilly won the interquad meet again!My scores were:second higest
out of three on vault-9.525,9.575 on bars-2nd highest,beam was a high
9.875 and I didnt compete floor because my tumbling has been a little
inconsisent lately but good news today!I hit all my tumbling passes!i am
working so hard and it shows!I have to go write some letters back to my
parents.
love Atler
October 21
Dear diary,
Hey.There ended up not being a duel meet of lilly vs Tiger and in some
ways I was disappointed because I thought we were going to win but then
again I was happy because I had more time to work on rounties and the
new skills i am learning. 33 days in counting.I am really nervous and
sort of anger because I know that I have been working so hard in the last
100 months(ok Im being wracky but its ok) and they is a big chance that
I wont make the team if more people get into gear and surpass me alot
in the rankings.I am not going to back down and give up when times are
tough.I had a really god practice working on a new tumbling series of ro
bhs back tuck .I have to go to practice now
love atler
October 20
Dear diary,
hey.Today was a beautiful saturday.Arika gave me a big shocker today by
telling me that the big O trials are in 34 days.I know that everyone is
going to be kicking themsleves into gear as they all do right before a
meet but all I have to do is do what I have been doing forever and kick
it up a couple of beats and I Will be on that team. Unfortunatly I have
learned that its not that easy and Im afraid of what can happen so Im
taking all the precautions possible.Im going to physical therapy
everyday even when Im just a little sore and Im doing all sorts of new
excerises to warm up more of my muscles and make sure im in the right state of
mind.I have to admit that Im a little apperhesive about this trials
because the competition is so tough and I dont want anything bad to happen
like right before last years trials.I am going to the lounge now to
watch the tape of worlds.
Love Atler
~Its time now.The chance of a lifetime.The oppurtunity to be amoung the
worlds elite and a chance to shine.Olympic games 2001!
October 19 #2
Dear diary,
I had a really good workouut and learned alot of new skills.Im really
worried about Jennie because she hasnt been her usual slef
lately.Tomorrow night(Sat) Alie is sleeping in mine and krista's room so we can
catch up on some things and talk about her date with Ian.Im tired now so Im
going to bed.
Love Atler
October 19
Dear diary,
Hey.Today for mourning practice it was packed because alot of the girls
had school off today due to a conference.I got an unusual oppurtunity
to write letters back to my family and friends and even some
fans.Grandma Benni took some of us out to lunch today in town and I ran into brian
and some more of his friends and he asked me how worlds want and
everything but i felt alittle ackward as I havent talk to him for a long
time.I went to bed early last night and I am still tired!
love atler
October 18
Dear diary,
WOW.Does something feel werid or what.I am so drained out its
amazing.Between worlds and squad meets and preparing for the big O and getting
new rounties Im so tired.It was the weriedest thing because I was just
about ready to do a rountie this mourning so I was standing in one spot
visualizing my rountie and a few minutes later Eva was shaking me and
was saying wake up wake up.Coach told me to go and have a 15 minute
break so confused I went into the locker room and splashed some water on my
face and then went back off for more training.I guess that was a signed
to maybe slow it down a little and pace myslef.I joked about it and im