On a forum I belong to, one of the younger girls posted a couple of pictures of herself in a swimsuit and said she wanted to go out to the beach this summer did we honestly think she should? Several of the other members posted ideas on improving her look slightly to be more passable, but I took a different approach and wrote the following reply.

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In the picture you look quite feminine. Don't think the basic "face", or “figure” is going to give you away, electro or laser yet? Are you really tall? Poise, movement, self confidence etc all play such a huge part in passing... and further, the whole idea of passing is kind of a double edged sword anyway. (But that's a whole different subject!) So back to your question; If you will be in a place and situation where you will be physically safe even if you do get clocked, then throw on a big old floppy straw hat and go for it. (Don’t forget sunscreen!)

As we start to transition and start going out in public at the beginning, even the most passable of us gets clocked here and there. Keep in mind that if you’re walking past 100 people only about 10 are even going to really look at you anyway... and if out of those 10, 1 or 2 suspects... and give you a funny look... so what??? If your going to be someplace where there are a lot of red-neck, drunk, testosterone filled teenage boys, and no security or police presence then any of us should be cautious... and I wouldn't recommend it for a first outing regardless. Here in California, with the general family beach crowd we'd be fine... in Florida, at a volley-ball tournament with lots of booze, buff boys and young girls I'd be careful. When I first started going out in public I was very picky about where I'd go. About the nastiest thing that ever happened was I was walking through Down Town Disney in Orlando one afternoon, no one paying any attention, and a group of young teenage kids were "hanging out" in a mall area, as I walked past one of the girls clocked me and whispered something to her boy friend, who proceeded to yell out stuff like "hey dude... nice dress" etc. I ignored him as if how could he be talking to me? And as I walked past and off, here comes Disney security towards me, right past, and threw the kids out of the park! Hard not to laugh a bit! Another time I went to a Tori Amos concert at a big arena... very early in my cross dressing days... and got a couple of funny looks but no worse, then as the crowd was leaving the venue, once outside I stopped to get something out of my purse and a group of 20 something’s walked past and a couple of guys were making comments like, "look it's a guy in a dress... pervert... ha, ha" but they didn't stop or hurt me, and no one else even seemed to notice. Perhaps they did but felt sorry? Or were just oblivious?

I know there were lots of times people clocked me, puzzled looks, double takes, a few pointed fingers... but I never got hurt, which is the main point. The big risk in this is the damage to your self esteem! If you do get clocked and panic, and never go out again... then that's super sad. But the bottom line is you can't hide your whole life... you can’t live your life in fear of being yourself… that's worse than anything. And like anything, practice makes perfect. The biggest thing is dress appropriate, both age and situation. That's what got me at the concert... all the women were in Levis, tennis shoes and sweatshirts etc... I was in stockings, heals and a short tight skirt. Stuck out because of my dress style not so much how I physically looked. At Disney I was probably nervous, and young girls can really see it. They instinctually are much attuned to one's energy or body language. They smell fear a mile away and are very observant.

So even if you do get clocked a few times, no biggie, and that gets much better with time! Just be safe and careful where you go. Any family, public kind of place no one is going to hassle you too much, but avoid large crowds of teenage boys especially if booze is involved until you have lots of experience out in public presenting. Also go with friends, cisgender girls like your sister are best, one kind of tall funny looking girl in a group of girls is just ignored... all by herself draws much more attention. It is rare for girls to be in public alone... have you noticed that? We tend to go in groups! Also if you’re with a guy who is cool and treats you like a woman, it makes you much more convincing! When I was with my brother, pre full time, but close... in guy mode still, several times I got read as a woman, and I wasn't even presenting??? LOL People just assumed we were a couple.

So be brave, do it, but just be careful! Believe me, there is nothing about you that will prevent you from being totally passable after lots of practice, none of us are totally passable at first, and most all of us are totally passable after time and practice. I can't even remember the last time I even suspected I'd been clocked? But believe me there were times at the beginning where I definitely did! Some times it made me so paranoid I became freaked and rushed home to change! Then you learn how to dress appropriately, how to move and stand, gesture etc. work on your voice, become more relaxed... and just about the time you don't care anymore if you do get clocked... is just about the time you stop getting clocked! Ironic huh?