http://www.miannegolf.com/index.html
·
First and foremost, anyone's need to go through a huge change in
life such as 'gender correction' with eventual surgery, is not merely a choice.
Nobody, in their right mind, would 'choose' to go through what we do and then
deal with what society has in store for us. This is a condition we all live
with from a very early age and it is pressure from society and the existing
stigma that keeps many people from dealing with the issue until later in life.
Ok, of course we could decide not to treat our condition just as anyone else
could decide not to be treated for any other medical condition (maybe even a
life threatening one) but that's not what you do. If you're in pain, you seek
help and you get treated for it. Generally everybody is after a good quality of
life ....so are we. If we don't treat our
transsexualism, the torment can (and does) become unbearable, often to the
point of not wanting to continue with life. This may seem a harsh thing to
write here but it's the truth.
We are amongst the most discriminated minorities in the world and
often have to fight for basic rights and privileges that others take for
granted. We have no more say in our condition than anybody does with being left
or right handed for example. We are simply born this way. Trying to explain to
someone why we feel the way we do and how a child can know this from such a
young age is extremely difficult. The only thing I can liken it to is trying to explain why anybody is left or right handed.
...you've probably never really thought about this but how would
you explain to someone why you are left or right handed? When did you decide to
be left or right handed? (a facetious question of
course. It's not actually a 'decision' anyone makes but it's the kind of
question we sometimes get asked. "When did you decide to become a
woman?".). How old were you when you started
being left or right handed? How could you possibly know something like that at
such a young age? Maybe, if a child is left handed, it's just a phase they are
going through and it would be best if they waited till they were a little older
before making that kind of decision.
This example may seem silly to some and although the issue of
transsexualism is somewhat more complex, I hope it starts to give an idea of
what it's like to explain how we feel and why. The complexity comes not only
from the treatment involved, but from societys'
opinions and expectations. Many years ago it was deemed 'wrong' to be left
handed in society and people with 'left handed tendencies' were forced to use
their right hand. These days of course it's not an issue,
it's an accepted variation that exists in people. Transsexualism is no
different. It is inherent in the make up of who we are and it isn't merely changed
or influenced by behavior modification and/or up bringing.
·
It saddens me that this still needs to be said, but..... transsexualism and transvestism
are not the same thing! Transvestism is the desire for someone [most commonly men]
to dress as the opposite sex who have no desire to
actually change their sex. Transsexualism is a condition where the sexual
characteristics of the body are incongruent with that of the brain. It is not a
psychological/psychiatric disorder and the only way it can be resolved is
through gender affirmation surgery bringing the
physical sex inline with the sex of the brain. We are thought of as a male with
a psychological problem, when in fact it is more accurate to say we are a girl
with a physical problem.
·
The condition of transsexualism is not something that is brought
about by behaviorism or upbringing. It isn't merely a case of girls wanting to
become boys because of playing with trucks or boys wanting to
become girls because of playing with dolls ....it goes far deeper than
that. Many boys and girls go through these phases and do eventually grow out of
them. There are other behavioral characteristics that are evident in a child’s behavior
and the way they interact with other children. I guess it's not always so
immediately obvious and atypical behavior doesn't necessarily mean a child is
dealing with issues of transsexualism. Up to a certain age they are too young
to know 'learned behavior' and if given the opportunity, a child will behave
and interact in a way that comes naturally to them. They will tell you how they
feel and what they are thinking. Ever hear of the saying ..."out of the mouths
of babes".
·
There are varying forms of transsexualism, or intersexed
conditions, and research to explain their causes are ongoing. The variations
range from the externally obvious formation of combined male and female genitalia
and less obvious internal organs, to the much less evident variation in areas
of the brain. (The brain of a woman with transsexualism (male to female) has
more similarities with that of other women, than that of men):
TIJT - A Sex
Difference in the Human Brain
The multitude of
biological variations and 'intersexed' conditions that exist really challenge
the notion, or definition, of 'Male' and 'Female'. If
there is to be argument for disallowing women** with a transsexual past to
compete in sport, then there is equal argument for preventing some variations
of women from competing. It seems that society ignores or excuses some
biological variations while highlighting issues of 'unfairness' with others.
The reasons seem to be influenced by social attitudes and a misunderstanding of
transsexualism where it is often thought of as nothing more than a sexual
fetish. If I hope to achieve anything other than playing professional golf it
is to help inform people of what it means to deal with the condition of
transsexualism.
** I make reference
only to women here because I am not aware of any issues of men with
transsexualism competing against other men, and having the problems associated
with women’s sport.
·
I have seen it written that the prevalence of transsexualism has
increased in recent years purely because of the availability of modern
techniques in surgery. Maybe the numbers of surgery have increased, but the
prevalence of the condition doubtfully has. Historical records make reference to many occurrences of 'gender variant' people in a number
of different cultures.
The internet has
helped make us all aware of how many others there are in the world and it makes
it easier to be open about our lives knowing that there is a much larger
community than we realized. Many people seem to think that we're easily noticeable
and would stand out in a crowd and therefore think they have never met 'a
transsexual'. The funny thing is that many people have met transwomen and just
don't realize it. Most of us are everyday people living everyday lives, with
everyday boyfriends and husbands, and everyday jobs.
Lynn Conway has
developed a site which is a wealth of information and her own life has been
quite incredible:
Lynn Conway
- Prevalence of Transsexualism
- Transsexualism through history
- Galleries of successful women
For me, being a sports
person, the issue of strength and perceived unfair advantage has been (and is)
my biggest hurdle. Understandably so I guess. I'll do my best to explain why
this isn't the issue that it's thought to be.
The information I
provide is based on my own experience, what I have read in recent times and
what has been told to me by doctors experienced in treating transsexualism.
·
The main reason for the difference in strength between men and
women is that men have the 'male' hormone testosterone. Men have much higher
levels than women and it's what enables them to build up much larger amounts of
muscle mass and strength. Without testosterone, increased muscle mass becomes
difficult (if not impossible?) and even decreases.
·
Through the usual course of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) for
women being treated for transsexualism, basically, our level of estrogen
(female hormone) is increased and our production of testosterone is reduced.
These hormones are responsible for significant changes to our mental, emotional
and physical state. Although the mental and emotional changes affect the way we
approach daily tasks (and possibly sport), I will focus on the physical as this
is the main issue of contention.
Speaking from my own
experience, when I started HRT my doctor told me that I would notice emotional
changes as well as a loss in strength. This is something that didn't become
evident until some time had past. What I'm saying is that it's not like we wake
up one morning feeling suddenly weaker. The changes our bodies go through can
be likened to that of going through puberty. As an example, for me it meant
that, after time, I wasn't able to lift things I was once able to and with my
golf, it means that I don't hit the ball as far as I used to. It's hard to say
exactly what the difference is as equipment has changed so much. Clubs have
been improved and balls also fly further.
My game needs only to
be compared to that of the other girls to see there's no difference and more to
the point, compare it with guys of the same standard
.....there just is
no comparison!
·
After we have had surgery there is nothing left in our bodies
producing testosterone and drugs required to halt it's
production are no longer required. Typically our levels of testosterone are
lower than the average levels for women. After surgery, changes to our bodies
with regard to strength are permanent and irreversible.
The Australian Sports
Commission has a page highlighting some of the issues involved with
transsexualism in sport and some of the assumptions and misconceptions:
Australian Sports Commission
·
One of the most preposterous suggestions I often hear is what's to
stop any guy (maybe struggling to make it on the men's tour) having a sex
change and then playing on the women's tour. This suggestion really goes to
show the level of ignorance that does exist. We are born with physical sexual
characteristics that are incongruous with our brain sex. We don't go through a
sex 'change', but rather a
sex 'correction' which brings our physical sex inline with our brain sex. We
have a profound sense of who we are from an early age and this isn't something
we 'decide' to do. In fact, I dare any man to go through a 'sex change' and I
take no responsibility for the outcome.
Just think about it guys.... what you're suggesting involves years
of counseling and hormone replacement therapy, living as a woman, many years
and thousands of dollars (not to mention the pain) on removal of facial hair
and eventual surgery. Then you live the
rest of your life as a woman. Remember, you can't just have it
all undone when you find out it was the wrong thing to do! This isn't a game!
On the physical side of things, because of the treatment, he will
lose muscle mass and strength and his sporting abilities won't be what they
once might have been. He would basically need to 're-train'
the body to adjust for this change. The guys life
would likely become a disaster because he is exactly that ....a man! Besides the physical changes to
his body, chances are he will become an emotional wreck. So much so I doubt he
would have the mental capacity, or ability, to function in society, let alone
play a game of golf ...and a tournament one at that.
I have always thought a lot about myself and
the life that I live, but probably not more so than I have over the last 18
months. It has been quite a journey for me and I have experienced and learned
so much from it. I had to make a decision whether to take my golf the next
step, to play professional golf, and be prepared to deal with the media
attention I was no doubt going to attract. It was hard to know if I was
completely prepared for what lay ahead but I figured I was as ready as I was
ever going to be. It's the start of an exciting new chapter in my life and I
look forward to seeing where it might take me.
I am usually a very positive person and I have
my ups and downs like everyone else. I like to think that every experience in
life, good or bad, is a positive experience. It doesn't mean that it's all a
happy and joyful time, because that's not always how it is. What I mean is that
all of our experiences put together help us to grow, make us who we are, and
make us all unique. I
guess the saying "What doesn't kill you, makes
you stronger" rings quite true in my books. I believe a lot in myself and
feel that life is just too short to sit back and wonder
"....what if?". Life isn't about
having regrets, it's about making the most of and enjoying it along the way.
Embrace it with everything you've got and live each day as it comes.
For me this means to pursue my passion and be
the best that I can be .....what ever that might be.
This is something that was never a conscious
decision for me. Although things could have turned out differently, it's just
the way my life has turned out. All through my childhood I grew up having
something to hide and now that I have finally become 'myself', the last thing I
want to do is hide a part of who I am from those around me ....again. Especially my family and friends.
I love the fact that people know me for who I
am, for all that I
am. I don't have to hide anything and I don't have to be careful what I say
about myself ....no fear of giving anything away. What this means to me is
indescribable.
When I was first going through my 'transition'
I learned quite quickly that it made it much easier for those around me (and me
for that matter) if I was open about what I was going through. This isn't an
issue a lot of people get faced with and when it turns out to be someone you
know, I can imagine it would be quite a shock. I guess this is an aspect I
can't entirely relate to as I only have the perspective of dealing with the
change in my life, I'm sure it's almost as big a deal for family and
close friends at the time. As for my friends, it became obvious to me that many
didn't know how to react to me and felt uncomfortable being around me ....it
only served to make me uncomfortable as well. A fear of the unknown I guess? I
made a point of talking to all my friends alone, to tell them what I was going
through and to let them ask questions. I like to think that it took away the
'unknown' factor and helped remove that fear and uncertainty. They could see
that I was still an everyday person just with some different issues to deal
with.
It became evident to me that I was showing
people a side of my condition that they never knew existed. They had never even
thought that basic sexual identity was anything that anyone would even have to
think about. There is so much misunderstanding in society and I started
enjoying the fact that I was able to educate people around me ...even change
their opinions. After all, why would people know any different.
What they knew was from portrayals in the media which were usually in the form
of sensationalised stories and pictures. They were
either of courageous women who had gone through life as a man and went through
transition in middle age (sometimes looking unfortunately masculine) or of men
in 'drag' with excessive makeup, big hair and exaggerated effeminate behaviour.
What I'm alluding to is that women with our
condition, who live quite successful everyday lives without anyone knowing or
being able to tell of their past, generally don't appear in the news. The other
side of that scenario is that women who do go through life without being
'noticed' are much less inclined to draw attention to themselves,
knowing the ridicule and prejudice they will face if this was to occur. The
thing is, most people have absolutely no idea how many of these women there are
living amongst them.
There seems to have been more stories of TS
women in the media lately and the issues have been discussed on talk-back
radio. I have listened to some of it and it amazes me how often people seem to
speak with such authority on a topic which they obviously know nothing about.
It would be nice if people might listen to those of us that are able to speak
from experience. Open your minds to a reality that may very well differ from
what you know, or differs from that which is governed and reinforced by
society's attitudes and 'the norm'. Don't judge us based on prejudice and current
stereotypes.
You know, it would be so nice if people could
let go of rules and opinions set by others ...by society's stereotypes. To not
be influenced so much by what other people think and to have the inner strength
to befriend or even love a person just for who they
are. I have quite a unique perspective on life and people, and I'm sure I have
been privy to aspects of peoples lives that they
normally wouldn't share with others. It makes me feel very special and I truly
cherish the life that I lead and the person I have become. I am lucky to have
the wonderful family that I have who have always supported me, and still do,
and to have some wonderful friends that have all helped enrich my life
...probably more than they'll ever realize.